THE 



CHRISTIAN HOME, 



AS IT IS IN THE 



%Ije« of tjjtaiure anir i\i Cjnirdj. 



The Mission, Duties, Influences, Habits, and Responsibilities of Home; 
its Education, Government, and Discipline; with. Hints on "Match 
Making," and the Relation of Parents to the Marriage Choice 
of their Children; together with a consideration of the 
Tests in the Selection of a Companion, Etc. 



BY 

REV. S. PHILLIPS, A.M. 



1 Sweet is the smile of Home ! the mutual look, 

When hearts are of each other sure ; 
Sweet all the joys that rrowd the household nook, 
The haunt of all affectiors pure." 



NEW YORK: 
PUBLISHED BY G. & F. BILL. 
1860. 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the .year 1859, by 
a. & F. BILL. 



PREFACE. 



It is a fact conceded by all, that the constitution of the 
Christian family, and its social and spiritual relations, are 
not as fully developed as they should be. In this age of 
extreme individualism, we have almost left out of view the 
mission of home as the first form of society, and the import* 
ant bearing it has upon the formation of character. Its in- 
terests are not appreciated ; its duties and privileges are neg- 
lected ; husbands and wives do not fully realize their moral 
relation to each other ; parents are inclined to renounce their 
authority; and children, brought up in a state of domestic 
libertinism, neither respect nor obey their parents as they 
should. The idea of human character as a development 
from the nursery to the grave, is not realized. Home as a 
preparation for both the state and the church, and its bear- 
ing, as such, upon the prosperity of both, are renounced as 
traditionary, and too old and stale to suit this age of me- 
chanical progression and "young Americanism." 

As a consequence, the influence of home is lost ; the lambs 
of the flock are neglected, grow up in spiritual ignorance, 




and become a curse both to themselves and to their parents. 
The vice and infidelity which prevail to such an alarming ex- 
tent in the present day, may be ascribed to parental neglect 
of the young. The desolating curse of heaven invariably 
accompanies neglect of domestic obligations and duties ; it 
was this that constituted that dreadful degeneracy which pre- 
ceded the coming of the Messiah. The parents were alien- 
ated from the children, and the children from their parents. 
And the only way in which 1:he Jews could avert deserved 
and impending ruin, was by " turning the heart of the fathers 
to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers." 

"We must adopt the same method. We need in the pres- 
ent day a deeper and more scriptural sense, both in the state 
and church, of the importance of the family, and of its posi- 
tion in the sphere of natural and religious life. The atten- 
tion of the people should be directed to the nature, the influ- 
ences, the responsibilities, the prerogatives, duties and bless- 
ings of the Christian home. 

Any work which contributes to this end is worthy of our 
high regard and subserves a noble purpose ; for it i3 only 
when the details of home-life are given to the public, that 
. proper interest in them will be developed, and we can hope 
for a better state of things in this first form of associated 
life. 

The following work is an humble contribution to this im- 
portant cause. It is intended to excite interest in the reli- 
gious elements of family life, and to show that the develop- 
ment of individual character and happiness in the church 
and state, in time and in eternity, starts with, and depends 



PREFACE. 



upon, home-training and nurture. The author, in presenting 
it to the public, is fully conscious of its many palpable imper- 
fections ; yet, as it is his first effort, and as it was prepared 
amid the multiplied perplexities and interruptions of his pro- 
fessional life, he confidently expects that it will be received 
with charitable consideration. It is now published as an in- 
troduction to a work on the historical development of home, 
to which his attention has for years been directed. If this 
unassuming volume should be instrumental in the saving of 
one family from ruin, we shall feel ourself fully compensated. 

THE AUTHOR. 

Chambersbdrg, Pa., 1859. 



CONTENTS. 



BAGS, 

Preface, 3 

CHAPTER I. 

What is the Christian Home. — Section I. : Borne in ihe Sphere of 
Nature. — The Power of Home-Association. Inadequate Ideas of 
Home. Home is a Divine Institute. Its Highest Conception. Def- 
inition of Home. Its Two-fold Aspect. As simply Physical. As 

Eurely Moral. Home in the Sphere of Natural Affection. Home- 
ove. Home-Ties. The Angel-Spirit of Home. Our Nature De- 
mands Home. Home-Sickness. Conclusion, . . . .13 
Section II. : Home in the Sphere of the Church. — The Heathen Home. 
Constituent Elements of the Christian Home. Marriage. Husband 
and Wife. Parents and Children. Union of the Members of a Fam- 
ily. The Christian Home must be Churchly. How we Abuse it. 
Examples of True Homes. Parental Neglect. Address to Parents 
and Children. Home-Meetings and Greetings, . . . , .20 

CHAPTER n. 
The Mission- of the Christian Home— The Nature of this Mis- 
sion. David. Joshua. It is Two-fold. The Temporal Well-Being 
of the Members. How Parents Abuse this part of the Home-Mis- 
sion. The Eternal Weil-Being of the Members. Extent of the 
Home-Mission. Its Importance and Responsibility. Seen in the 
Vicarious Character of Home. The Principle of Moral Reproduc- 
tion. The Visitation of Parental Iniquity upon the Children. The 
Guilt of Unfaithfulness to this Mission. Qualifications for it. The 
Law of Equality in Marriage. How Parents may Disqualify them- 
selves for it. Incentives to Faithfulness. Address to Parents, . 27 

CHAPTER in. 

Family Religion. — The Christian Home Demands Family Religion. 
What is it ? Different from Personal Religion. Co-existent with 
Home. Essential to its Constitution. Its Historical Development 
from Eden to the Present Age. Its Present Neglect. What it In- 
cludes. The Example of our Primitive Fathers. The Forms in 
which it is Developed. The Home-Mission Demands it. Its Ne- 
cessity seen in the Value of the Soul. Home without it. Home 
with it. Relations of Home Demand it. Reply to Excuses from 
it. Defect of it now. Reasons for this. It is Implied in the Mar- 
riage Relation and Obligation. Motives to Establish it, . . 40 

CHAPTER IV. 
The Relation of Home to the Church.— It must be Churchly. 
This Relation is Vital and Necessary, involving Mutual Depend- 
ence. Relation of Preparation. Home Completes Itseif in the 



Vlll CONTENTS. 



PASS. 

Church. It has Power only in the Sphere of the Cburch. This 
Relation involves Duties and Responsibilities, .... 50 

CHAPTER V. 

Some-Influence. — Home has Power. This is either a Curse or a 
Blessing. What is Home-Influence? Its Character. Its Degree 
Estimated from the Force of First Impressions. Scripture Testi- 
mony to it. Its Legitimate Objects. How it Acts in the Form- 
ation of Character. Augustine. Washington. John Q. Adams. 
Bishop Hall. Dr. Doddridge. Dr. Cummmg. A Mother Won to 
Christ by a Daughter. Its Influence upon the State. Napoleon. 
Homes of the Revolution. The Spartan Mother and Home. Its 
Influence upon the Church. Its Responsibility Inferred, . 56 

CHAPTER VI. 

Home as a Stewardship. — What is a Steward V Home is a Stew- 
ardship. Parents. Home-Interests. Identity of Interest between 
the Master and Steward. Mother of Moses. Character and Re- 
sponsibilities of this Stewardship, The Social Prostitution of 
Home. The Principle of Accountability this Stewardship In- 
volves. The Final Settlement, 66 

CHAPTER VII. 

Responsibilities of the Christian Home. — These Inferred 
from Home-Influence and Stewardship. Their Measure. By the 
Magnitude of Home -Interest. By the Kind of Influence upon the 
Members. By the Guilt and Punishment of Parental Unfaithful- 
ness. They are Incentives to Parental Integrity. A Family Dra- 
ma in Two Acts. Filial Responsibility. Address to Parents and 
Children, 74 

CHAPTER VIII. 

The Family Bible. — The Memories which cluster around it. The 
Household Interests it Contains. The Bible as a Family Record. 
As a Home-Inheritance. As the Gift of a Mother's Love. An In- 
dispensable Appendage to Home. Its Adaptation to Home. It 
should be Used a3 the Text-Book of Home-Education. Its Abuse 
and Neglect, 82 

CHAPTER IX. 

Infancy. — New Eras in Family History. The First-Born. Charm 
and Interest of Infancy. The Infant as a Member of Home. Its 
Emblematic Character. Its Helplessness. Its Prophetical Char- 
acter. The Trust and Responsibility Involved. The Mother's Re- 
lation to Infancy. Address to Parents, . . . . .92 

CHAPTER X. 

Home-Dedication. — The Hebrew Mother and her Child. Reasons 
for Dedication. Dedication of Children. Abraham. Offering of 
Isaac. Little Samuel. David. Typical Character of Old Testa- 
ment Family Offerings. Benefits of Home-Dedication. Duty of 
Parents to Devote their Sons to the Ministry. The Unfaithfulness 
of Parents to this duty, 103 

CHAPTER XI. 
Christian Baptism. — The Baptismal Altar. It is the Sacrament 
of Home-Dedication. Infants are its True Subjects. Home De- 
mands it. Infant Baptism Proven, by the Child's Need of Salva- 
tion, by the Idea and Mission of Christ, by the Idea of the Church, 



CONTENTS. IX 



TXOM. 

by the Hereditary Character of Sin, by the Relation of Christian 
Parents to their Children, by the Constitution of Family Life. En- 
emies of Infant Baptism. Why Opposed to it. Their Sophistry. 
Dr. A. Carson. Appeal to Parents. Duty and Privilege of Parents 
to have their Children Baptized. Its Neglect and Abuse. How 
Abused. The Old Landmarks. Striking Statistics. Abuse by 
Parents and Children, 113 

CHAPTER XII. 
Christian Names.— Proper Kind of Names. Law of Correspond- 
ence and Association. Christian Names. Much in a Name. Nam- 
ing a Child should not be Arbitrary. Nebuchadnezzar. Adam. 
The Hebrews. Woman. Eve. Cain. Seth. Samuel. Dr. Krum- 
maeher. Names now Given. The Folly and Evil of it. Why we 
should give Suitable Names. Why Scriptural Names. Mary. In- 
stances of Proper Christian Names, 132 

CHAPTER XIII. 
Home as a Nursery. — Idea of Nursing. What a Nursery Is. The 
sense in which Home is a Nursery. Character of the Home-Nurs- 
ery. The Mother's Special Sphere. Relation of the Nursery to 
the Formation of Character. The Nursery is Physical. Sickly and 
Immoral Nurses. Consequences. It is Intellectual. Its Abuse. It 
is Moral and Spiritual. Ihe Ways in which the Nursery is Abused. 
Boarding Schools, . 142 

CHAPTER XIV. 

Home-Sympathy. — An Argument against the Neglect and Abuse of 
the Nursery. Its Natural Elements. Its Definition and Nature. 
The Ancients. Baptista Porta. Plato. Middle Ages. It is Passive 
and Active. Its Disease. Good Samaritan. Rousseau. Robes- 
pierre. Its Relation to Natural Affection. Its Relation to Woman. 
Its Religious Elements. Christ. Ruth. Joseph. Mother of Sam- 
uel. Peter. Esther. Paul. Family of Lazarus. Its True Pat- 
tern. Its Attractive Power. Unfaithfulness to its Law. Its High- 
est Element, 151 

CHAPTER XV. 

Family Prayer. — Its Relation to Home-Sympathy. Its Necessity. 
Its Idea. Dr. Dwight's View. The Duty to establish it Proven. 
Its Neglect. Excuses from Family Prayer. Address to Parents, 168 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Home-Education. — Section J. : The Character of Eome-Educaiion. 
What is Home-Education. Different Kinds. It must be Physical. 
Intellectual. Moral. The Means. Circumstances. Temptation. 
Example. Training. Habit. The Feelings. Conscience. Mo- 
tives. Cardinal Virtues. When it should Begin. It must be Re- 
ligious. Necessity of this. St. Pierre. The Mother as Teacher. 
Objections Considered. Encouragement to Home-Training. Dr. 
Doddridge. A Pious Minister. Dr. D wight. Young Edwards. 
Polycarp. Timothy. John Randolph. J.Q.Adams. Daniel. The 
Power of Home-Training in Religion, 177" 

Section IT,: The Neglect and Abuse of Home-Education.— Popular 
Prejudices Exposed. Dr. Johnson. Edmund Burke. Miss Sedg- 
wick. Everett. Robert Hall. Fruits of a Neglected Education. 
Law of the Icelanders. Parents are Responsible. Crates. Pleas- 
ure of Teaching the Young. Thompson. Abuse of it. Fashion- 

1* 



CONTENTS. 



PAGB. 

able Boarding Schools. A Hopeful Young Lady. How to Ruin a 
Son. Duty of Parents inferred. Books. Bartholin. Home-Train- 
ing not isolated from Church-Training. Must be Churchly, . 195 

CHAPTER XVII. 

Family Habits. — Their Importance. Their Idea. Different Kinds. 
Their Formation. Tobacco and Liquor. Evil and Good Habits. 
Family Prayer. Omission of Dutv. Their Influence. Kev. C. C. 
Colton. A "Criminal in India. Habit as the lnteroreter of Charac- 
ter. Its Reproductive Power. We are Responsible for our Habits. 
Christian Habits. Habit of Industry. Rutherford. Habits of Per- 
severance ana uontentment. . . • 204 

CHAPTER XVIII. 

Home-Government. — Home is a Little Commonwealth. Includes 
the Legal Principle. Relation of Parents to Children. Principle 
of Home- Government. Parental Authority Threefold. Schlegel. 
Old Roman Law. A Divine, Inalienable Right. Extent of Parental 
Authority. False View of it. Correlative Relation between Filial 
Obedience and Parental Authority. Character and Extent of Filial 
Obedience. Neglect and Abuse of Home-Government. Parental 
Indulgence and Despotism. The True Medium. Address to Far- 
ents, 213 

CHAPTER XIX. 

Home-Discipline. — Its Idea. Its Necessity. False Systems. Dis- 
cipline from the standpoint of Law without Love. It3 Fruits. A 
Quaint Anecdote. The Europeans. The Arabs. Discipline from 
the standpoint of Love without Law. Examples. Eli. David. Its 
Fruits. True Christian Discipline. Chastisement. A Model Sys* 
tern. Abraham. His Children. When Discipline should be Intro- • 
duced. When it should be Administered. Importance of Parental 
Co-operation. Favoritism. Relation of Command to Chastisement. 
The Kind of Rein and Whip. When Corporeal Punishment should 
be Used. Dr. South. Dr. Bell. Its Adaptation to the Real Wants 
of the Child. Fidelity to Threats and Promises. Examination of 
Offenses. Never Chastise in Anger. Let your Child know the Ob- 
ject of Discipline, 223 

CHAPTER XX- 
Home-Example. — Its Idea and Influence. The Child is the Moral 
Reproduction of the Parent. Solomon. Paul. Shakspeare. Dr. 
Young. Its Necessity proven from its Relation to Precept — Wil- 
liam Jay ; from its Adaptation to the Capacity and Imitative Dis- 
position of the Child. Duty of Parents to show a Model Example 
to the Child. Archbishop Tillotson. Motives to this Duty. Obsta- 
cles to the Efficacy of good Home-Example. Unequal Marriages. 
Jacob's Marriage. Zacharias and Elizabeth, .... 239 

CHAPTER XXI. 

The Choice of Pursuits.— Duty of Preparation for some Useful 
Occupation. This should be made in Childhood. The part Par- 
ents should take in this. Duty of all Persons to engage in some 
Useful Pursuit shown from the Relation of the Individual to the 
State, from the Possibility of Future Misfortune, from the Excess- 
ive Prodigality of those who have been brought up in Idleness. 
Law of the Athenians. What Parents should consider in their se- 
lection of an Occupation for their Children. Injudicious Course of 



CONTENTS. XI 



PAGE.' 

some Parents. Fruits of Disobedience to the Law of Adaptation. 
Social Position. Exigencies. But one Pursuit. Jack of All Trades. 
Loaferism. Fruits of Indolence, 247 

CHAPTER XXII. 

The Home-Parlor. — Its Idea and Kelations to Society. Why -we 
should hold it Sacred. The most Dangerous Departments of Home. 
Duty of Parents to instruct their Children in reference to it. How 
far the Christian Parlor may Conform to the Laws aud Customs of 
Fashion. Adulteration of the Christian Home through Indiscrimi- 
nate Association. The Sad and Demoralizing Effects. Address to 
Parents, 256 

CHAPTER XXIII. 

Match-Making. — Section I.: The Relation of Parents to the Mar- 
riage Choice of their Children. — The Bridal Hour. A Home-Crisis. 
The Bride's Farewell. Have Parents a right to take any part in 
the Marriage Choice of their Children? This Eight Proven from 
their Relation to their Children, from the Inexperience of Children, 
from Sacred History. The Patriarchal Age. Judaism. The Chris- 
tian Church. The Extent of this Right. The Duties it Involves. 
Moral Control. Coercive Measures. Improper Parental Interposi- 
tion. Its Sad Effects. Persuasive Measures. Should Parents Ban- 
ish and Disinherit Children for their Marrying against their will? 
Paley, 265 

Section IT. : False Tests in the Selection of a Companion. — The Mere 
Outward. How we determine Unhappy Matches. The Manner 
of Paying Addresses. The Habit of Match-Making. Tricks of 
Match-Makers. The Sad Fruits. Book Match-Makers. Their 
Auxiliaries. The Evil. How Parents may Preserve their Chil- 
dren. False Influences. Smitten. Outward Beauty. Impulsive 
Passion. Falling in Love at First Sight. Wealth. Rank. English 
Aristocracy. Nepotism. Snobbishness, . . . . 27S 

Section ITT. : True Tests in the Selection of a Companion. — Judicious 
Views of the Nature and Responsibilities of the Marriage Institu- 
tion. Our Forefathers. Reciprocal Affection. Paley. True Love. 
Adaptation of Character and Position. Fitness of Circumstances, 
Means, and Age. Religious Equality and Adaptation. Only in the 
Lord. The Sad Effect of Inequality. Should Persons Marry Out- 
side of their Own Branch of the Church ? Sin and Curse of Dis- 
obedience to the Law of Religious Equality. Duty of Parents in 
reference to Religious Equality. All Matches not made in Heaven. 
Law of Moses. Abraham. Historical Instances of the Fruits of 
Disobeying this Law. Reasonableness of the Law. The Primitive 
Christians. Sense of the Christian Church. Address to Christians, 281 

CHAPTER XXIV. 

The Children's Patrimony.— The Question this Involves. Not 
Confined to Wealth. A Good Character and Occupation. True 
Religion. How Parents should proceed in the Distribution of their 
Property. Why they should give only a Competency. The Rules 
to Determine a Competence. Paley. What the Law of Compe- 
tence Forbids. Penalties of its Violation. History. Impartiality. 
Paley. The Infatuation of many Parents, .... 292 

CHAPTER XXV. 
The Promises op the Christian Home.— Two Kinds. Divine 
Promises to Parents and Children. Those of Punishment. Law 



231 CONTENTS. 



FAOB. 

of Reproduction. Iniquity of the Parents upon the Children. Prom- 
ises of Reward. In this Life. John Q. Adams. In the Life to Come. 
God's Fidelity to His Promises. They are Conditional. When they 
become Absolute. Popular Objections. Compatibility between 
Promises and Agencies. Paul. Moses. Promises made by Parents, 303 

CHAPTER XXVI. 

The Bereavements of Home.—- Separation. Bereavements Di- 
versified. Reverses of Fortune. Death. First Death. Of Hus- 
band and Father. Of a Wife and Mother. Of Children. Of the 
Infant. Of the First-Born. Wisdom and Goodness of God in Be- 
reavements. Discipline. Moral Instruction. The Dead and Liv- 
ing still Together. Benefit. Death of Little Children is a Kindness 
to them. Why. Why Christ became a Little Child. We should 
not wish them Back. Their Death is a Benefit to the Living. 
Communion of Saints. Ministering Spirits. The Spirit- World. 
A Ministering Child. A Ministering Mother. Infant Salvation. 
Zuinlius. Calvin. Dr. Junkin. Newton. The Hope of Re-union 
in Heaven. We should not murmur against God. This does not 
forbid Godly Sorrow and Tears. Meekly Submit, . . 313 

CHAPTER XXVII. 

The Memories op Home. — Chief Justice Gibson. Relation of 
Memoiy to Bereavement. Memories are Pleasing and Painful. 
Pleasing and Pious Memories. A Mothers's Recollection. The 
Pleasures of Remembering the Pious Dead. . Irving. The Saving In- 
fluence of Memory. Painful Memories. Critical Power of Memory. 
Mementoes of Home. Pictures. Memorials. Letters from Home. 
Seek Pleasing Memories, 348 

CHAPTER XXVIII. 
The Antitype op the Christian Home. — Typical Relation be- 
tween Home and Heaven. The Christian's Tent-Home in its Rela- 
tion to Heaven. The Antitypical Character of Heaven. A Com- 
parative View of our Earthly and our Heavenly Home. Christ the 
Center of Heaven's Joy and Attraction. Union between Home and 
Heaven. A Conscious Union of the Members in Heaven. Family 
Recognition and Love in Heaven. Family Greeting and Joy in 
Heaven. Longings after Heaven. Conclusion, • . . 860 



CHAPTER I. 

WHAT IS THE CHRISTIAN HOME? 

SECTION I. 

HOME IN THE SPHERE OP NATURE. 

" My home ! the spirit of its love is breathing 

In every wind that plays across my track, 
From its white walls the very tendrils wreathing 

Seem with soft links to draw the wanderer back. 
There am I loved — there prayed for ! — there my mother 

Sits by the hearth with meekly thoughtful eye, 
There my young sisters watch to greet their brother ; 

Soon their glad footsteps down the path will fly ! 
And what is home ? and where, but with the loving ? 

Home ! That name touches every fibre of the 
soul, and strikes every chord of the human heart 
as with angelic fingers. Nothing but death can 
break its spell. What tender associations are 
linked with home ! What pleasing images and 
deep emotions it awakens ! It calls up the fond- 
est memories of life, and opens in our nature 



14 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the purest, deepest, richest gush of consecrated 
thought and feeling. 

" Home ! 'tis a blessed name ! And they who rove, 

Careless or scornful of its pleasant bonds, 

Nor gather round them those linked soul to soul 

By nature's fondest ties, 

But dream they're happy !" 

But what is home, — honie in the sphere of na- 
ture ? It is not simply an ideal which feeds the 
fancy, nor the flimsy emotion of a sentimental 
heart. We should seek for its meaning, not in 
the flowery vales of imagination, but amid the 
sober realities of thought and of faith. 

Home is not the mere dwelling place of our 
parents, and the theater upon which we played 
the part of merry childhood. It is not simply a 
habitation. This would identify it with the lion's 
lair and the eagle's nest. It is not the mere me- 
chanical juxtaposition of so many human beings, 
herding together like animals in the den or stall. 
It is not mere conventionalism, — a human asso- 
ciation made up of the nursery, the parlor, the 
outward of domestic life, resting upon some 
evanescent passion, some sensual impression and 
policy. These do riot make up the idea of home. 

Home is a divine institution, coeval and congen- 
ital with man<The first home was in Eden ; the 
last home will be in Heaven. It is the first form 
of society, a little commonwealth in which we first 
lose our individualism and -come to the conscious- 
ness of our relation to others. Thus it is the 



HOME IN THE SPHERE OF NATURE. 15 

foundation of all our relationships in life, — the 
preparation-state for our position in the State and 
in the Church. It is the first form and develop- 
ment of the associating principle, the normal rela- 
tion in which human character first unfolds itself. 
It is the first partnership of nature and of life ; and 
when it involves "the communion of saints," it 
reaches its highest form of development. It is 
an organic unity of nature and of interest, — the 
moral center of all those educational influences 
which are exerted upon our inward being. The 
idea of the home-institution rests upon the true 
love of our moral nature, involving the marriage 
union of congenial souls, binding up into itself 
the whole of life, forming and moulding all • its 
relations, and causing body, mind and spirit to 
partake of a common evolution. The loving 
soul is- the central fact of home. . In it the 
inner life of the members find their true com- 
plement, and enjoy a kind of community of 
consciousness. 

"Home's not merely four square walls, 
Though with pictures hung and gilded ; 
Home is where affection calls — 
Filled with shrines the heart hath builded." 

Home may be viewed in a twofold aspect, as 
simply physical, and as purerjinioral. The former 
comes finally to its full meaning and force only 
in the latter. They are interwoven ; we cannot 
understand the one without the other ; they are 
complements ; and the complete idea of home as 



16 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



we find it in the sphere of nature, lies in the 
living nnion of both. 

By the physical idea of home, we mean, not 
only its outward, mechanical structure, made up 
of different parts and members, but that living 
whole or oneness into which these parts are 
bound up. Hence it is not merely adventitious, 
— a corporation of individual interests, but that 
organic unity of natural life and interest in which 
the members are bound up. By the moral idea 
of home, we mean the union of the moral life and 
interests of its members. This explodes the infi- 
del systems of Fourierism, Socialism, Mormon- 
ism, and " Woman's Eights." These forms of 
Agrarianism destroy the ethical idea and mission 
of home ; for they are not only opposed to reve- 
lation and history, but violate the plainest maxims 
of natural affection. 

Love is an essential element of home. "With- 
out this we may have the form of a home, but 
not its spirit, its beating heart, its true motive 
power, and its sunshine. The inward stream 
would be gone, and home would not be the one- 
ness of kindred souls. Home-love is instinctive, 
and begets all those silken chords, those sweet 
harmonies, those tender sympathies and endear- 
ments which give to the family its magic power. 
This home-love is the mother of all home de- 
lights, yea, of all the love of life. We first draw 
love from our mother's breast, and it is love 
which ministers to our first wants. It flashes 
from parent to parent, and from parent to child, 



HOME IN THE SPHERE OF NATURE.. 17 

making up the sunshine and the loveliness of 
domestic life. "Without it home would have no 
meaning. It engenders the "home-feeling" and 
the " home-sickness," and is the moral net-work 
of the home-existence and economy. It is strong- 
er than death ; it rises superior to adversity, and 
towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly 
selfishness of the world. Misfortune cannot sup- 
press it ; enmity cannot alienate it ; temptation 
cannot enslave it. It is the guardian angel of the 
nursery and the sick-bed ; it gives an affectionate 
concord to the partnership of home-life and in- 
terest. Circumstances cannot modify it ; it ever 
remains the same, to sweeten existence, to purify 
the cup of life, to smooth our rugged pathway 
to the grave, and to melt into moral pliability 
the brittle nature of man. It is the ministering 
spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses 
over the cradle and the death-beds of the house- 
hold, and filling up the urn of all its sacred 
memories. 

But home demands not only such love, but ties, 
tender, strong, and sacred. These bind up the 
many in the one. They are the fibres of the 
home-life, and cannot be wrenched without caus- 
ing the heart to bleed at every pore. Death may 
dissect them and tear away the objects around 
which they entwine* and they will still live in 
the imperishable love which survives. From 
them proceed mutual devotions and confiding 
faith. They bind together in one all-expanding 
unity, the perogatives of the husband, and the 



18 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



subordination of the wife, the authority of the 
parent and the obedience of the child. 

"0, not the smile of other lands, 

Though far and wide our feet may roam, 

Can e'er untie the genial bands 
That knit our hearts to home !" 

The mother is the angel-spirit of home. Her 
tender yearnings over the cradle of her infant 
babe, her guardian care of the child and youth, 
and her bosom companionship with the man 
of her love and choice, make her the personal 
center of the interests, the hopes and the hap- 
piness of the family. Her love glows in her 
sympathies and reigns in all her thoughts and 
deeds. It never cools, never tires, never dreads, 
never sleeps, but ever glows and burns with 
increasing ardor, and with sweet and holy in- 
cense upon the altar of home-devotion. And 
even when she is gone to her last rest, ' the 
sainted mother in heaven sways a mightier 
influence over her wayward husband or child, 
than when she was present. Her departed spirit 
still hovers over his affections, overshadows his 
path, and draws him by unseen cords to herself 
in heaven. 

Our nature demands home. It is the first es- 
sential element of our social#)eing. The whole 
social system rests upon it: body, mind and 
spirit are concerned in it. These cannot be 
complete out of the home-relations ; there would 
be no proper equilibrium of life and character 



HOME IN THE SPHERE OF NATURE. 19 

without the home feeling and influence. The 
heart, when "bereaved and disappointed, naturally 
turns for refuge to home-life and sympathy, i^o 
spot is so attractive to the weary one : it is. the 
heart's moral oasis ; there is a mother's watchful 
love, and a father's sustaining influence ; there is 
a husband's protection, and a wife's tender sym- 
pathy ; . there is the circle of loving brothers and 
sisters, — happy in each other's love. Oh, what 
is life without these ? A desolation ! — a pain- 
ful, glooming pilgrimage through " desert heaths 
and barren sands." But home gives to life its 
fertilizing dews, its budding hopes, and its blos- 
soming joys. "When far away in distant lands 
or upon the ocean's heaving breast, we pine 
away and become "home-sick;" no voice there 
like a mother's ; no sympathy there like a 
wife's; no loved one there like a child; no 
resting place there like home ; and we cry 
out, "Home! sweet, sweet home!" 

Thus our nature instinctively longs for the 
deep love and the true hearts of home. It has 
for our life more satisfaction than all the honors, 
and the riches and the luxuries of the world. 
"We soon grow sick of these, and become sick 
for home, however humble it may be. Its en- 
dearments are ever fresh, as if in the bursting 
joys of their first experience. They remain un- 
forgotten in our memories and imperishable in 
our hearts. When friends become cold, society 
heartless, and adversity frowns darkly and heavily 
upon us, oh, it is then that we turn with fond as- 



20 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

surance to home, where loved ones will weep as 
well as rejoice with us. 

"Oh, the blessing of a home, where old and young mix 
kindly, 

The young unawed, the old unchilled, in unreserved com- 
munion ! 

Oh that refuge from the world, when a stricken son or 
daughter 

May seek with confidence of love, a father's hearth and 
heart; 

Come unto me, my son, if men rebuke and mock thee, 
There always shall be one to bless, — for I am on thy side !" 



SECTION IL 

HOME IN THE SPHERE OP THE CHURCH. 

"A holy home, 

Where those who sought the footprints of the Lord, 

Along the paths of pain, and care, and gloom, 
Shall find the rest of heaven a rich reward." 

"What is the Christian home ? Only in the 
sphere of Christianity does the true idea of 
home become fully developed. Home with the 
savage is but a herding, a servitude. Even 
among many of the Jews it was little better 



HOME IN JWE SPHERE OF THE CHURCH. 21 

than a Mahommedan seraglio. The most emi- 
nent of the heathen world degrade the family 
by making it the scene of lust, and introducing 
concubinage and polygamy. Plato, one of the 
most enlightened of the heathen, had base con- 
ceptions of home, and abnsed its highest and 
holiest prerogatives by his ideas of polygamy. 
We find too that in the ethics of Aristotle, the 
most lovely and sacred attributes of the family 
are totally discarded. The home which he holds 
up to view is unadorned with chastity and virtue. 
And Sophocles follows in the same path, strip- 
ping home of all that is sacred and essential to 
its true constitution. And when we come down 
to the present age, and view this divine institute 
in the light of Mormonism and Socialism, who 
will say that here we have unfolded its true idea 
and sacred character ? 

How different is the true Christian home ! 
Here the marriage union is preserved "honora- 
ble," held sacred, and woman is raised to her 
true position. In the sphere of the Christian 
church, home is brought fairly and completely 
into view. Here it rises above the measure of 
natural affection and temporal interest. It en- 
ters the sphere of supernatural faith, and be- 
comes the adumbration of our home in heaven. 

The Christian home is a true type of the 
church. " The husband is the head of the 
wife, as Christ is of the church." The love of 
the family is self-denying and holy, like that 
between Christ and His church. The children 



22 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



are "the heritage of the Lord;" the parents are 
His stewards. Like the church, the Christian 
home has its ministry. Yea, the church is in 
the home, as the mother is in her child. We 
cannot separate them ; they are correlatives. 
The one demands the other. The Christian 
home can have existence only in the sphere of 
the church. It is the vestibule of the church, 
bound to her by the bonds of Christian mar- 
riage, of holy baptism, and of the communion 
of saints, leading to her in the course of moral 
development, and completing her life only in 
the church-consciousness. 

Home is, therefore, a partnership of spiritual 
as well as of natural life. The members thereof 
dwell "as being heirs together of the grace of 
life." "Heavenly mindedness," "the hidden 
man of the heart," and a "hope full of immor- 
tality," are the ornaments of the Christian home. 
Hers is "the incorruptibility of a meek and quiet 
spirit;" her members are "joint heirs of salva- 
tion;" they are "one," not only in nature, but 
"in Christ." They enjoy a "communion in 
spirit," that their "joy might be fall." "What 
God, therefore, hath joined together, let not man 
put asunder." 

Such a home, being "right with God," must 
be "full 'of good fruits, without partiality and 
Without hypocrisy." Here the Christian shows 
his real character. In the sphere of the church, 
the family reaches its highest excellence and its 
purest enjoyment. Says the learned D'Aubigne, 



HOME IN THE SPHERE OF THE CHURCH. 23 



" "Without the knowledge and the love of God, a 
family is but a collection of individuals who may 
have more or less of natural affection for one 
another; but the real bond, — the love of God 
our Father, in Jesus Christ, our Lord, — is want- 
ing." 

"We, therefore, abuse the idea of home when 
we divest it of the religious element. As the 
family is a divine institute and a type of the 
church and of heaven, it cannot be understood 
in its isolation from Christianity; it must in- 
volve Christian principles, duties, and interests ; 
and embrace in its educational functions, a pre- 
paration, not only for the State, but also for the 
church. The church gives to home a sacred 
religious ministry, a spiritual calling, a divine 
mission ; investing it with prophetic, priestly 
and kingly prerogatives, and laying it under 
religious responsibilities. 

. This gives to the Christian home its true 
meaning, and secures for its members — ■ 

' ' A sacred and home-felt delight, 
A sober certainty of waking bliss." 

Such was the home of Abraham, who " com- 
manded his children and his household to keep 
the way of the Lord, to do justice and judg- 
ment," — of Joshua, who with "his house served 
the Lord," — of David, who "returned to bless 
his household," — of Job, who "offered burnt- 
offering according to the number of his sons," 
—of Cornelius, who "feared God with all his 



24 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



house," — of Lydia, and Crispus, and the jailor 
of Philippi, who "believed in the Lord with all 
their house." 

How many Christian parents practically dis- 
card this attribute of home !• "While all their 
temporal interests cluster around their home, 
and their hearts are fondly wedded to it as 
their retreat from a cold and repulsive world, 
they never think perhaps that God is in their 
family, that He has instituted it, and given those 
cherished ones who " set like olive plants around 
their table." They are faithful to all natural 
duties, and make ample provision for the tem- 
poral wants of their offspring ; the mother bends 
with untiring assiduity over the cradle of her 
babe, and ministers to all its wants, watching 
with delight every opening beauty of that bud 
of promise, and willingly sacrificing all for its 
good. "With what rapture she catches its first 
lispings of mother ! The father toils from year 
to year to secure it a fair patrimony, a finished 
education, and an honorable position in life. 
How unremittingly these parents watch over 
the sick-bed of their children and of each 
other; and oh, what burning tears gush forth 
as the utterance of their agonizing hearts, when 
death threatens to blight a single bud, or lay 
his cold hand upon a single member ! 

This is all right, noble, and faithful to the 
natural elements of home. Natural affection 
prompts it, and it is well. But if this is all; 
if Christian parents and their children are gov- 



HOME IN THE SPHERE OF THE CHURCH. 25 

erned only by the promptings of nature ; if they 
are bound together by no spiritual ties and in- 
terests and hopes ; if they are not prompted by 
faith to make provision for the soul, and for 
eternity; then we think they have not as yet 
realized the deepest and holiest significance of 
their home. 

The Christian home demands the Christian 
consciousness, — the sense of a spirit-world with 
all its obligations and interests and responsibili- 
ties. Oh, is it not too often the case that even 
the Christian mother, while she teaches her babe 
the accents of her own name, never thinks of 
teaching it to lisp the name of Jesus, — never 
seeks to unfold its infant spirit, — never supplies 
it with spiritual food, nor directs its soul to the 
eternal world ! In the same way the pious wife 
neglects her impenitent husband ; and the pious 
husband, his reckless wife. There is too much 
such dereliction of duty in the homes of church 
members. 

Our homes give us an interest in, and bind us 
by peculiar bonds to, the eternal world; those 
loved ones who have gone before us, look down 
from heaven upon those they have left behind ; 
though absent from us in body, their spirits are 
still with us; and they come thronging upon 
glowing pinions, as ministering spirits, to our 
hearts. Mother ! that little babe that perished 
in your arms, hovers over thee now, and is the 
guardian angel of your heart and home. It 
meets thee still ! And oh, how joyful will your 
2 



26 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



home-meeting be in heaven ! Children ! the 
spirit of your sainted mother lingers around 
your home to minister in holy things to thee. 
She has left you in body; she lies mouldering 
now in the humid earth ; but she is with thee in 
spirit. Your home, dwelling in the sphere of 
the church on earth, has a spiritual communion 
with the sainted ones of the church in heaven. 
Thus, as the home-feeling can never be eradi- 
cated, so the home-meetings can never be broken 
up. Even the dead are with us there ; their 
seats may be empty, and their forms may no 
longer move before us; but their spirits meet 
with us, and imprint their ministrations upon 
our hearts. The dead and the living meet in 
home ! 

" We are all here ! 

Father, mother, 

Sister, brother, 
All who hold each other dear, 
Each chair is filled, we're all at home ! 
Let gentle peace assert her power, 
And kind affection rule the hour — 

We're all— all here ! 
Even they — the dead — though dead so dear, 
Eond memory to her duty true, 
Brings back their faded forms to view. 
How life-like through the mist of years, 
Each well-remembered face appears ; 
We hear their words, their smiles behold, 
They're round us as they were of old — 

We are all here !" 



CHAPTER II. 



THE MISSION OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

"If in the family thou art the best, 
Pray oft, and be mouth unto the rest ; 
Whom Grod hath made the heads of families, 
He hath made priests to offer sacrifice." 

If home is a divine institution, and includes 
the religious element, moving in the sphere of 
nature and of the church, then its calling must 
be of God ; its mission is divine ; it is designed 
to subserve a spiritual purpose ; it has a souh 
mission. This was the view of David when he 
"returned to bless his household." To him his 
family was a church in miniature, and he its 
priest. Thus too Joshua felt that his service of 
God must include family worship. 

"What then is the mission of the Christian 
home ? It is two-fold, — the temporal and eter- 
nal well-being of its members. It is the mission 
of home to provide for the temporal well-being 
of its members. They are parts of one great 
whole. Each must seek the welfare of all the 
rest. This involves obedience to the law of co- 



28 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



operation ; and has special reference to that pro- 
vision which the heads of families should make 
for the wants of those who are placed under 
their protection. As the parent sustains a 
physical, intellectual and moral relation to the 
child, it is his mission to provide for its physical, 
mental and moral wants. "He that provideth 
not for his own house hath denied the faith, and 
is worse than an infidel. " Natural affection will 
prompt to this. Children are in a state of utter 
helplessness. The infant is at the mercy of the 
, parent. Instinct impels the parent to provide for 
its wants. Even the brute does this. 

That it is a part, therefore, of the home mis- 
sion to provide for the physical wants of the de- 
pendents there, is very evident. To refuse to 
fulfill it is a crime against nature. This part of 
the home-mission includes the education of the 
body, by properly unfolding and directing its 
powers, and providing it with appropriate nutri- 
ment, raiment and shelter. In a word, we should 
make proper provision for the development and 
maturity of the physical life of our children. 
This is the mission of the parent until the child 
is able to provide for itself. This, says Black- 
stone, "is a principle of natural law;" and, in 
the language of Puffendorf, is "an obligation 
laid on parents, not only by nature herself, but 
by their own proper act in bringing them into 
the world." The laws of the land also command 
it. The child has a legal claim upon the parent 
for physical sustenance and education. 



ITS MISSION. 



29 



It is another part of the home-mission to pro- 
vide for the intellectual wants and welfare of the 
child. Children have mind as well as hody. The 
former needs .^nourishment and training as well as 
the latter. 1 Hence it is as much the mission of 
the family to minister to the well-being of the 
mind of the child, as to that of its body. Civil 
law enforces this. Children have a legal as well 
as a natural claim to mental culture. In a word, 
it is the home-mission to provide for the child 
all things necessarv to prepare it for a citizen- 
ship in the state. \ 

Parents abuse this mission in two ways, either 
when they by their own indolence and dissipation 
compel their children to support them ; or, on the 
other hand, when they become the willing slaves 
of their children, labor to amass a fortune for 
them, and, in the anticipation of that, permit 
them to grow up in ignorance, idleness, and 
prodigality, fit only to abuse and spend the fruit 
of parental servitude. In this way the misap- 
plied provision made by parents often becomes a 
curse, not only to the members of the family, but 
to the state and church. 

Another part of the home-mission is, the spirit- 
ual and eternal well-being of its members. This 
is seen in the typical character of the Christian 
family. It is an emblem of the church and of 
heaven. According to this, parents are called to 
administer the means of grace to their household, 
to provide for soul as well as for body, to prepare 
the child for a true membership in the church, as 



30 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



well as for a citizenship in the state, to train foy 
heaven as well as for earth. 

Parents are "priests unto their families," and 
have the commission to act for them as faithful 
stewards of God in all things pertaining to their 
everlasting welfare. Their souls, as well as their 
bodies, are committed to their trust, and God 
says to them, — 

" Gro nurse them for the King of Heaven, 
And He will pay thee hire." 

This is their great mission, and corresponds with 
the conception of the Christian home as a spirit- 
ual nursery. The family is " God's husbandry 
and this implies a spiritual culture. As its mem- 
bers dwell as " being heirs together of the grace 
of life," it is the function of each to labor to 
make all the rest " fellow-citizens with the saints, 
and of the household of God." Parents should 
provide for the religious wants of their chil- 
dren. Mere physical maintenance and mental 
culture cannot supersede the necessity of spirit- 
ual training. Children have a right to such 
training. 

This religious provision is twofold ; their moral 
and spiritual faculties should be developed ; and 
their moral nature supplied with appropriate nu- 
triment. All the wants of their moral nature are 
to be faithfully provided for. The home-mission 
involves the business of education of body, of 
mind, and of spirit ; — of preparation for the 
state, for the church, for eternity. It is this 



ITS MISSION. 



31 



which makes it so sacred and responsible. Strip 
the Christian family of its mission as a nursery 
for the soul; wrest from the parents their high 
prerogative as stewards of G-od ; and you hea- 
thenize home, yea, you brutalize it ! Tell me, 
what Christian home can accomplish its holy 
mission, when the soul is neglected, when reli- 
gion is left out of view, when training up for God 
is abandoned, when the church is repudiated, and 
eternity cast off ? You may provide for the body 
and mind of your children ; you may amass for 
them a fortune ; you may give them an accom- 
plished education ; you may introduce them into 
the best society ; you may establish them in the 
best business; you may fit them for an honor- 
able and responsible position in life; you may 
be careful of their health and reputation; and 
you may caress them with all the tender ardor 
of the parental heart and hand ; yet if you pro- 
vide not for their souls; if you seek not their 
salvation; if you minister only to their tempo- 
ral, and not to their eternal welfare, all will be 
vain, yea, a curse both to you and to them. 
Husband and wife may love each other, and 
live together in all the peace and harmony of 
reciprocated affection; yet if the religious part 
of their home-mission remain unfulfilled, their 
family is divested of its noblest attraction ; its 
greatest interests will fall into ruin ; its high- 
est destiny will not be attained; and soon its 
fruits will be entombed in oblivion ; while their 
children, neglected and perishing, will look back 



32 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



upon that home with a bitterness of spirit which 
the world can neither soothe nor extract ! 



homes of church members are too often reckless 
of their high vocation Their moral stewardship 
is neglected ; their dedications, formal and heart- 
less. ]STo prayers are heard ; no bible read ; no 
instructions given; no pious examples set; no 
holy discipline exercised. Their interests, their 
hopes and their enjoyments ; their education, 
their labor and their rest, are all of the world, 
. — worldly. The curse of God "is upon sucn a 
home ! 

The importance and responsibility of the home- 
mission may be seen in its vicarious character, and 
in its influence upon the members. The princi- 
ple of moral reproduction is manifest, in all the 
home-relations. What the parent does is repro- 
duced, as it were, in the child, and will tell upon 
the generations that follow them. Those close 
affinities by which all the members are allied, give 
to each a moulding influence over all the rest. 
The parents live, not for themselves alone r but 
for their children, and the consequence of such a 
life is also entailed upon their offspring. " The 
iniquity of the fathers shall be visited upon the 
children unto the third and fourth generation." 
If the parent " sow to the flesh," the child, with 
him, "shall of the flesh reap corruption;" but if 
he " sow to the spirit," his offspring, with him, 
shall "of the spirit reap life everlasting." 

Sacred and profane history proves and illus- 




homes there are ! Even the 



ITS MISSION. 



83 



irates this great truth. Did not God punish 
the first born of Israel, because their fathers had 
tinned ? And is it not a matter of daily observa- 
tion that the wickedness of the parent is entailed 
upon the child ? Such is indeed the affinity be- 
tween them that the child cannot, unless by some 
special interposition of Providence, escape the 
curse of a parent's sin. " If one member suffer, 
all the members suffer with it." 

The guilt and condemnation of unfaithfulness 
to the home-mission may be inferred from its 
importance and responsibility. Those who are 
unfaithful are guilty of "blood." "We see the 
curse of such neglect in that deterioration of 
character which so rapidly succeeds parental de- 
linquency. They must answer before G-od for 
the loss which the soul, the state, and the church 
sustain thereby. " It shall be more tolerable for 
Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment 
, than for them." 

The Christian home should be qualified for 
this mission. There can be no such qualifica- 
tion, however, where the marriage alliance in- 
volves inequality — one of the parents a Christian, 
the other not; for they cannot " dwell together 
as heirs of the grace of life," neither can they 
effectually dispense that grace to their offspring. 
"When thus "the house is divided against itself, 
it must fall." "Be ye not, therefore, unequally 
yoked together." If one draws heavenward and 
the other hell ward, there will be a halting be- 
tween Baal and God, and the influence of the 
*2 



34 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



one "will be counteracted by that of tbe other. 
"What communion hath light with darkness? 
What fellowship hath righteousness with un- 
righteousness ? What part hath he that be- 
lieveth with an infidel?" Thus divided, their 
home will be unfit for its high vocation. Hence 
parents, in their marriage alliance as well as in 
their individual character, should qualify them- 
selves for the responsible mission of home. Can 
the ungodly wife or husband fulfill this mission ? 
Can the irreligious parent bring up his offspring 
"in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?" 

Many parents disqualify themselves for their 
home-mission by devoting too much attention 
to society, — by spending more time abroad, at 
parties, theaters and masquerade balls, in gos- 
siping and recreation, than at home with each 
other and with their children. They commit 
their children, with all the family interests, to 
nurses and servants. They regard their offspring 
as mere playthings to be dandled upon the knee, 
brought up like calves in the stall, and then 
turned out to shape their own destiny. 

This is a sad mistake ! There is no substitute 
for home, — no transfer of a parent's commission, 
no adequate compensation for a parent's loss. 
None can effectually take the parent's place. 
Their influence is overwhelming and absolute. 

"With what a kingly power their love 
Might rule the fountains of the new-born mind !" 

Not even the dark villainies which have dis- 



ITS MISSION. 



35 



graced humanity can neutralize it. Gray-haired 
and demon guilt will weep in his dismal cell over 
the melting, soothing memories of home. Their 
impressions are indelible, "like the deep borings 
into the flinty rock." To erase them we must 
remove every strata of their being. They give 
texture and coloring to the whole woof and web 
of the child's character. The mother especially 
preoccupies the unwritten page of its being, and 
mingles with it in its cradle dreams, making thus 
a deathless impress upon its soul. 

" The mother in her office, holds the key 

Of the soul ; and she it is who stamps the coin 

Of character, and makes the being who would be a savage 

But for her cares, a Christian man !" 

"What a folly and a sin, therefore, for Christian 
parents to give over their holy mission to another, 
while they immerse themselves in the forbidden 
pleasures and recreations of the world ! Oh, if 
you are loving, faithful parents, you will love the 
society of your household more than the fash- 
ions and the. fashionable resorts of the world; 
you will not substitute the "nurse" and the 
"boarding school" for the more efficient minis- 
tratipns of the Christian home. 

" If ye count society for past time,—- what happier recreation 

than a nursling, 
Its winning ways, its prattling tongue, its innocence and mirth? 
If ye count society for good, — how fair a field is here, 
To guide these souls to God, and multiply thyself in heaven !" 



36 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



"Walk, therefore, worthy, of the vocation 
wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and 
meekness." "Magnify your office." Be faith- 
ful to your home-mission. Draw your pleasure 
from it. Souls are committed to your trust 
and hang upon your hire. Your regard for 
the temporal and eternal welfare of your chil- 
dren should prompt you to faithfulness to the 
holy mission of your family. You love your 
children, and desire their welfare and happi- 
ness. But do what you will for them, if you 
are unfaithful to their souls, you wrest from 
them the means of safety and of happiness ; 
you aid in their misery in this and in the world 
to come. You are more cruel to them than 
was Herod who slew the bodies of children. 
You murder their souls. He murdered tne 
children of others ; you murder your own ; 
he employed others to do it for him ; you do 
the work of slaughter yourself! If, then, you 
love your children ; if their souls are commit- 
ted to you ; if your unfaithfulness to them may 
result in their ruin ; if God blesses the holy 
mission of your home to their temporal and 
eternal welfare; if its fulfillment by you be 
"like words spoken in a whispering gallery, 
which will be heard at the distance of years, 
and echoed along the corridors of ages yet to 
come;" and if it will prove to them in life 
like the lone star to the mariner upon the dark 
and stormy sea, — should you not be faithful to 
your home-vocation ! 



ITS MISSION. 



3T 



Eot only so, but your regard for your own 
comfort and happiness here and hereafter should 
impel you to this faithfulness. Do you love 
yourself? Do you regard your own comfort 
and welfare ? "Would you avoid painful solici- 
tude, hitter reflection, heart-burning remorse, > 
dreadful foreboding? Then be faithful to the 
home-mission. If you are, God will bless you 
for it through your children. What a comfort 
it will be to you to see them become Christians, 
enter the church, and, at their side around the 
Lord's Table, hold communion with them in the 
joys of faith and in the anticipations of heaven ! 
And should God remove them from you by death, 
you will be cheered amidst the agonies of separa- 
tion by their dying consolation. The hope of a 
speedy reunion with them in heaven would afford 
a sweet solace to your bereaved heart. 

Or should you be taken before them, what a 
comfort would they afford you in your last mo- 
ments ! "With the glow of Christian faith and 
hope, they would whisper to you the consola- 
tions of the gospel, and bless you for your faith- 
fulness to them. And when you and they shall 
meet at the bar of God, they will rise up and 
call you blessed. 

But, on the other hand, should you neglect 
them; and, as a consequence, they grow up in 
wickedness and crime ; oh, what a source of 
withering remorse they would cause you ! !Nb 
sin more heavily punishes the guilty, and min- 
gles for him a more bitter cup, than the sin of 



38 



THE CHEISTIAN HOME. 



parental neglect. What if after the lapse of a 
few years, your neglected child be taken from yon, 
and consigned to the cold grave, think you not that 
when you meet it before the bar of God, it will rise 
up as a witness against you, and pour down its 
curses upon your head ! 

But suppose that child grows up, unprovided 
for by you in its early life ; and profligacy mark 
his pathway, and demon guilt throw its chains 
around him in the prison cell ; and he trace back 
the beginning of his ruin to your unfaithfulness, 
oh, with what pungency would the reflection 
send the pang of remorse to your soul ! 

" Go ask that musing father, why yon grave 
So narrow, and so noteless, might not close 
Without a tear?" 

Because of the bitter and heart-stricken memo- 
ries of a neglected, ruined child that slumbers 
there ! 

Or suppose that you die before your neg- 
lected children, think you not that the recol- 
lection of your past parental unfaithfulness will 
plant thorns in your pillow, and invest with 
deeper shades of horror your descent to the 
dark valley of death? And oh, when you 
meet them before the bar of the avenging 
judge, most fearful will be your interview 
with them. Tell me, how will you dare to 
meet them there, when the voice of their 
blood will cry out from the hallowed ground 
of home against you! And then, eternity, oh, 



IT£ MISSION. 



39 



eternity! who shall bring out from the secrets 
of the eternal world, those awful maledictions 
which God has attached to parental unfaithful- 
ness ? 

Provide, therefore, for your family as the 
Lord commands. Remember that if you do 
not, you " deny the faith and are worse than 
an infidel;" and in the day of Judgment "it 
shall be more tolerable for &odo*n and. Gomci^ 
rah than for you." 



CHAPTER III. 



FAMILY RELIGION. 

" Lo ! where yon cottage whitens through the green, 
The loveliest feature of a matchless scene ; 
Beneath its shading elm, with pious fear, 
An aged mother draws her children near, 
"While from the Holy Word, with earnest air, 
She teaches them the privilege of prayer. 
Look ! how their infant eyes with rapture speak ; 
Mark the flushed lily on the dimpled cheek ; 
Their hearts are filled with gratitude and love, 
Their hopes are centered in a world above !" 

The Christian home demands a family reli- 
gion. This makes it a "household of God." 
"Without this it is but a " den of thieves." It 
is "the one thing needful." 

What is " family religion ?" It is not an ex- 
otic, but is indigenous to the Christian home. 
It is not a "new measure," but an essential in- 
gredient of the home-constitution, — coexistent 
with home itself. The first family "began to 



FAMILY RELIGION. 



41 



call upon the name of the. Lord;" the first parent 
acted as high-priest of God in his family. 

It is not individual piety as such, not simply 
closet devotion, but family service of God, — reli- 
gion taken up in the home-consciousness and life. 
Hence a family, and not simply a personal reli- 
gion. 

Such religion, we say, is as old as the church. 
We find it in Eden, in the tents of the patri- 
archs and in the wilderness of the prophets. 
We find it in the tent of Abraham in the 
plains of Mamre, in the "house" of Moses, in 
the "service" of Joshua, in the "offerings" 
of Job, and in the palace of David and golo- 
mon. It is also a prominent feature of the 
gospel economy. The commendation bestowed 
by Paul upon Timothy, was that "from a child" 
he enjoyed the "unfeigned faith" of his mother 
Eunice and his grandmother Lois. Paul exhorts 
Christians thus: "Rule well your own houses; 
speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and 
spiritual songs." The same family religion was 
a prominent feature of the homes of the primi- 
tive Christians. With them, every house was a 
sanctuary, and every parent a minister in holy 
things to its members. The bible was not only a 
parlor ornament, but a lamp to their feet and a 
guide to their path, used, meditated upon, prayed 
over. Says Turtullian of its members, " They 
are united in spirit and in flesh ; they kneel down 
together ; they pray and fast together ; they teach, 
exhort and support each other with gentleness." 



42 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



How, alas ! have Christian homes degener- 
ated since then in family piety ! They received 
a reviving impulse in the Reformation ; yet even 
this was meteor-like, and seemed hut the tran- 
sient glow of some mere natural emotion. The 
fire which then flashed so "brilliantly upon the 
altar of home, has now "become taper-like and 
sepulchral ; and the altar of family religion, like 
the altar of Jehovah upon Mt. Carmel, has been 
demolished and forsaken. Only here and there 
do we find a Christian home erect and surround 
a Christian altar. Parents seem now ashamed 
to serve the Lord at home. They have neither 
time nor inclination. Upon the subject of reli- 
gion they maintain a bashful, sullen, wonderful 
silence before their families. They seem to be 
impressed with the strange idea that their wives 
and children put no confidence in their piety, 
(and may they not have reason for it ?) and that 
it would, therefore, be vain for them to pray, or 
exhort their households. "Many walk thus," 
says Paul, " of whom I have told you often, and 
now tell you even weeping, that they are the 
enemies of the cross of Christ!" Upon them 
shall be answered the prayer of Jeremiah, " Oh 
Lord, pour out thy fury upon the families that 
call not upon thy name !" 

Thus, therefore, we see that the Christian 
home demands a family religion. The private 
devotion of the individual can be no effectual 
substitute for it. 



FAMILY RELIGION. 



43 



" The parents pair their secret homage, 
And offer up to heaven the warm request, 
That He who stills the raven's clamorous nest, 

And decks the lily fair in flowery pride, 
Would, in the way His wisdom sees the best, 

For them and for their little ones provide." 

Family religion includes parental bible instruc- 
tion, family prayer, and religious education, gov- 
ernment, discipline and example. These involve 
the parent's position in his household as a prophet, 
priest, and king. "Thou shalt teach my words 
diligently unto thy children, and talk of them 
when thou sittest in thy house." 

" Daily let part of Holy Writ be read, 
Let as the body, so the soul have bread. 
For look ! how many souls in thy house be, 
With just as many souls God trusteth thee !" 

Thus felt and acted our primitive fathers. By 
every winning art, they sought to fill their chil- 
dren with the knowledge of God's Word. The 
entire range of nursery instruction and amuse- 
ment was comprised in scripture pictures and 
hieroglyphics. They intermingled religion with 
all their home pursuits, and entwined it with 
their earliest and purest associations of child- 
hood. If Christian parents would follow their 
example now, in these days of parental delin- 
quency, we would not behold so many of their 
children grow up in religious ignorance and in- 
difference. 

The same may be said of the family altar and 



44 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



prayer. A prayerless family is an irreligious, 
godless family. Says Henry, " They who daily 
pray in their houses do well ; they that not only 
pray, but read the scriptures, do better ; but they 
do best of all, who not only pray and read the 
scriptures, but sing the praises of G-od." 

Besides, the religion of home implies that we 
" command our children and household to keep 
the way of the Lord," — that we "bring them 
up in His nurture and admonition," and "train 
them up as He would have them go and that 
in things pertaining to their spiritual welfare we 
"go in and out" before them as their pattern 
and example, bidding them to "follow us even 
as we follow Christ," and living in their midst as 
"the living epistles of Christ, known and read" 
of them all. 

Family religion must " show itself by its works " 

Lof Christian charity and benevolence to the poor, 
the sick and the distressed. We should "lay by" 
a certain amount each year of what G-od bestows, 
for the support of the church and the propagation 
of the gospel. Oh, how little do Christians now 
give to these benevolent objects ! A penurious, 
close-fisted, selfish home cannot be a religious 
household. Family religion must be reproduc- 
tive, must return to God as well as receive from 
Him. But as these characteristic features of the 
Christian home will be considered hereafter, we 
shall not enlarge upon them here. Suffice it to 
say that the mission of home demands family reli- 
gion. Its interests cannot be secured without it. 



FAMILY RELIGION. 



45 



Let our homes be divorced from piety, and they 
will become selfish, sensual, unsatisfactory, and 
unhappy. Piety should always reign in our 
homes, — not only on the Sabbath, but during 
the week; not only in sickness and adversity, 
but in health and prosperity. It must, if genu- 
ine, inspire and consecrate the minutest interests 
and employments of the household. It must ap- 
pear in every scene and feeling and look, and in 
each heart, as the life, the light, the hope, and 
the joy of all the members. 

The necessity of family religion is seen in the 
value of the soul. The soul is the dearest treas- 
ure and the most responsible trust of home. 
What shall it profit the family if its members 
gain the whole world and lose their own souls ? 
What would Christian parents give in exchange 
for the souls of their little ones? Is it, not more 
important that they teach them to pray than to 
dance, to "seek the kingdom of heaven" than 
the enjoyment of "the pleasures of sin for a 
season?" Oh, what is home without a title to, 
and personal meetness for, that kingdom? It 
is a moral waste ; its members move in the 
putrid atmosphere of vitiated feeling and mis- 
directed power. Brutal passions become domi- 
nant; we hear the stern voice of parental des- 
potism ; we behold a scene of filial strife and 
insubordination; there is throughout a heart- 
blank. Domestic life becomes clouded by a 
thousand crosses and disappointments ; the sol- 
emn realities of the eternal world are cast into 



46 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the shade; the home-conscience and feeling be- 
come stultified ; the sense of moral duty distort- 
ed, and all the true interests of home appear in a 
haze. Natural affection is debased, and love is 
prostituted to the base designs of self, and the 
entire family, with all its tender cords, ardent 
hopes, and promised interests, becomes engulfed 
in the vortex of criminal worldliness ! 

But reverse the picture ! See what home be- 
comes with religion as its life and rule. Human 
nature is there checked and moulded by the ami- 
able spirit and lovely character of Jesus. The 
mind is expanded, the heart softened, sentiments 
refined, passions subdued, hopes elevated, pur- 
suits ennobled, the world cast into the shade, 
and heaven realized as the first prize. The great 
want of our intellectual and moral nature is here 
met, and home education becomes impregnated 
with the spirit and elements of our preparation 
for eternity. 

The relations of home demand family religion. 
These are relations of mutual dependence, in- 
volving such close affinity that the good or evil 
which befalls one member must in some degree 
extend to all the other members. They involve 
" helps." Each member becomes an instrument 
in the salvation or damnation of the others. 
"For what knowest, wife, whether thou shalt 
save thy husband ? or how knowest thou, man, 
whether thou shalt save thy wife?" — 1 Cor. vii., 
16. "If one member suffer, all the members 
suffer with it." They stimulate each other either 



FAMILY RELIGION. 



47 



to salvation or to ruin ; and hence those children 
that go to ruin in consequence of parental un- 
faithfulness, will " curse the father that begat 
them, the womb that bare them," and the day 
they entered their home. 

Many parents seek to excuse themselves from 
the practice of family religion, upon the ground 
that they have not the capacity nor the time. If 
so, you should not have married. But if you are 
Christians, you have the capacity, and you will 
take the time. 

But some are ashamed to begin family religion. 
Ashamed of what? of your piety? of your chil- 
dren? of the true glory and greatness of your 
home ? Then you are ashamed of Jesus ! You 
should rather blush that you have not begun this 
good work. 

The great defect of family religion in the pres- 
ent day is, that it is not educational. Parents 
wait until their children have grown up, and 
established habits of sin, when they suppose that 
the efforts of some " protracted meeting " will 
compensate for their neglect in childhood. They 
overlook the command of God to teach them 
His words. The influence of this defect and de- 
lusion has been most destructive. Many Chris- 
tian homes are now altogether destitute of reli- 
gious appliances. If the angel that visited the 
homes of Israel were to visit the Christian homes 
of this age, would he not be tempted to say, as 
Abraham said to Abimelech, " Surely the fear of 
God is not in this place !" 



48 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



One great reason, perhaps, why there are so 
many such homes is, that there are now so many 
irreligious marriages, where husband and wife are 
"unequally yoked together," one a believer and 
the other not. " How can two walk together ex- 
cept they be agreed?" Can there be family reli- 
gion when husband and wife are traveling to 
eternity in opposite roads ? No ! There will be 
hindrances instead of "helps." If they marry 
not "in the Lord," religion will not be in their 
home. Says the pious Jay, "I am persuaded 
that it is very much owing to the prevalence of 
these indiscriminate and unhallowed connections, 
that we have fallen so far short of those men of 
God, who are gone before us, in the discharge of 
family worship, and in the training up of our 
households in the nurture and admonition of the 
Lord." 

Family religion is implied in the marriage rela- 
tion and obligation. It is included in the necessi- 
ties of our children, and in the covenant promises 
of God.- The penalties of its neglect, and the re- 
wards of our faithfulness to it, should prompt us 
to its establishment in our homes. Its absence is 
a curse ; its presence a blessing. It is a foretaste 
of heaven. Like manna, it will feed our souls, 
quench our thirst, sweeten the cup of life, and 
shed a halo of glory and of gladness around our 
firesides. Let yours, therefore, be the religious 
home ; and then be sure that God will delight to 
dwell therein, and His blessing will descend, like 
the dews of heaven, upon it. Your children shall 



FAMILY RELIGION. 



49 



"not be found begging bread," but shall be like 
"olive plants around your table," — the "heritage 
of the Lord." Yours will be the home of love 
and harmony ; it shall have the charter of family 
rights and privileges, the ward of family inter- 
ests, the palladium of family hopes and happi- 
ness. Your household piety will be the crowning 
attribute of your peaceful home, — the " crown of 
living stars " that shall adorn the night of its trib- 
ulation, and the pillar of cloud and of fire in its 
pilgrimage to a "better country." It shall strew 
the family threshold with the flowers of promise, 
and enshrine the memory of loved ones gone be- 
fore, in all the fragrance of that "blessed hope" 
of reunion in heaven which looms up from a 
dying hour. It shall give to the infant soul its 
"perfect flowering," and e^xpand it in all the full- 
ness of a generous love and conscious blessedness, 
making it " lustrous in the livery of divine knowl- 
edge." And then in the dark hour of home sepa- 
ration and bereavement, when the question is put 
to thee, mourning parents, "Is it well with the 
child ? is it well with thee ?" you can answer with 
joy, "It is well!" 
3 



CHAPTER IV. 



THE RELATION OF HOME TO THE CHURCH. 

The Christian home sustains a direct relation to 
the church. This relation is similar to that which 
it sustains to the state. The nature and mission 
of home demand the church. The former is the 
adumbration of the latter. The one is in the 
other. " Greet the church that is in thine house." 
The church was in the house of Aquila and Pris- 
cilla, in the tent of Abraham, and in the palace of 
David. It must be in every Christian home, and 
every Christian home must be in the church. In 
a word, our families must be churchly. 

This relation is vital and necessary, — a relation 
of mutual dependence. The family is a prepara- 
tion for the church, subordinate to it, and must, 
therefore, throw its influence in its favor, be 
moulded by it, and labor with direct reference 
to the church in the way of training up for mem- 
bership in it. As the civil and political relations 
of home involve the duty of parents to train up 
their children for efficient citizenship in the state. 



ITS RELATION TO THE CHURCH. 51 

so its moral and religious relations involve the 
duty of education for the church. Hence the 
Christian home is churchly in its spirit, religion, 
education, influence, and mission. 

Family religion is an element of home, not only 
as a mere fact or principle in its subjective form, 
but in the form and force of the church. In its 
unchurchly form it is powerless. It must be ex- 
perienced and administered in a churchly spirit 
and way, not as something detached from the 
organic embodiment of Christianity. The rela- 
tion of the church to the family forbids this. 
The church pervades all the forms of society. It 
includes the home and the state. It gives to each 
proper vitality, legitimate principles, proper direc- 
tion, and a true destiny. 

But home is not only a preparation for the 
church, but completes itself in the church, — 
never out of the church. By the "mystery" 
of marriage and the sacrament of holy baptism, 
home and the church are bound up into each 
other by indissoluble bonds. The one receives 
the mark and superscription of the other; the 
one is the type or emblem of the other. 

The church, through her ordinances, ministry 
and means of grace, is brought directly "into the 
house," and operates there constantly as a spirit- 
ual leaven. It is the purpose of God that our 
homes be entrenched within the sacred enclosures 
of His church. The former, in its relation to the 
latter, is like " a wheel within a wheel," — one of 
the parts which make up the great machinery of 



52 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the kingdom of grace, operating harmoniously 
and in its place with all the rest, and for the 
same end. The former is built upon the latter, 
— receives her dedication and sanctity from it. 
They are correlatives. The one demands the 
other. Hence they cannot be divorced. The 
individual passes over to the church through the 
Christian home. The one is the step to the 
other. They have the same foundation. Home 
is not erected upon a quicksand, but reared upon 
the same rock upon which •the church is built. 
Like the church, it rises superior to all the fluc- 
tuations of civil society, and will live and flourish 
in all its tender charities, in all its sweet enjoy- 
ments, and in all its moral force, in the humble 
cottage as well as in the costly palace, under the 
shadow of liberty as well as under the frowns of 
despotism, in every nation, age, and clime. Like 
the church of which it is the type, it can never 
be made desolate ; break it up on earth, and you 
find it in heaven. Its nuptial union with the 
church is like that between the latter and Christ. 
Nothing can throw over our homes a higher sanc- 
tity, or invest them with greater beauty, or be to 
them a greater bulwark of strength, than the 
church. Home is the nursery of the church. 
" Those who are planted in the house of the 
Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God, 
and shall bring forth fruit in old age." 

Thus, therefore, we see that the relation be- 
tween the Christian home and the church is one 
of mutual dependence. The latter, as the high- 



ITS RELATION TO THE CHURCH. 



53 



est form of religious association, demands the 
former, and the former looks to the latter as its 
completion. Where the religion of the family 
does not move in the element of the church, it is 
at best but sentimentalism on the one hand, and 
rationalism on the other. It is a spurious pietism. 
To be genuine it must be moulded by the church. 
Without this it is destitute of sterling principle, 
of a living faith, of well-directed effort and lofty 
aims. The family which does not move in the 
element of the church is a perversion of the true 
purpose of God in its institution. It will afford 
no legitimate development of Christian doctrine, 
and the whole scheme of its religion will rest for 
its execution upon unreliable agencies extraneous 
to home itself. Hence we find that the piety of 
those families or individuals that isolate them- 
selves from the church, is at best but ephemeral 
in its existence, contracted in spirit, moving and 
operating by mere impulse and irregular starts, 
and withal destitute of vitality and saving influ- 
ence. A death-bed scene may awaken a transient 
and visionary sense of duty ; adversity may startle 
the drowsy ear, and cause the parents to turn for 
the time to the souls of their children ; but these 
continue only while the tear and the wound are 
fresh, and the. apprehensions of the eternal world 
are moving in their terrible visions before them ! 

The efficacy of the Christian home, therefore, 
depends upon its true relation to the church. 
The members should be conscious of this. Then 
both parents and children will appreciate the reli- 



54 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



gious ministrations of home. Then the former 
will not grow weary in well doing, bnt will have 
something to rest upon, something to look to ; 
and the latter will love the church of their fathers, 
and venerate the family as its nursery. 

But the relation between the Christian home 
and the church implies reciprocal obligations and 
duties. The former should not only exist under 
the patronage of the latter, but in the spirit of a 
true subordination. Parents should teach and 
rule and appropriate the means of grace under 
the supervision of the church. They should take 
their household with them to her public service, 
send their children to her schools, and in all re- 
spects bring them up in her nurture and admoni- 



L.Thus the family should exist as the faithful 
daughter of the church ; and as the latter in the 
wilderness "leaned upon her beloved," so the 
former should repose itself upon her who is " the 
mother of us all," and in whom, as the "body of 
Christ," shall "all the families of the earth be 
blessed." As her loving and confiding daughter, 
the family should live under her government and 
discipline, listen to her maternal voice, and be led 
by her maternal hand. The minister in his pas- 
toral functions, is the representative of the church 
in each of the families of his flock ; and should, 
therefore, be received, loved, confided in and 
obeyed, as such. The home that repels his prof- 
fered ministrations in the name and according to 
the will of the church, throws off its allegiance to 




ITS RELATION TO THE CHURCH. 



55 



the latter, and through it, to Christ, — her glori- 
ous head, and is hence unworthy of the name of 
Christian home. The true Christian home yearns 
after the church, loves to lean upon it, to look up 
to it, to consecrate all to it, to move and develop 
its interests in the sphere of the church, and to 
labor to complete itself in it. 

" For her my tears shall fall ; 
For her my prayers ascend ; 
To her my cares and toils be giv'n, 
Till toils and cares shall end." 



CHAPTER V. 



HOME INFLUENCE. 

" By the soft green light in the woody glade, 

On the banks of moss, where thy childhood play'd ; 

By the gathering round the winter hearth, 

When the twilight call'd nnto household mirth, 

By the quiet hour when hearts unite 

In the parting prayer and the kind ' Grood night f 

By the smiling eye and the loving tone, 

Over thy life has the spell been thrown, 

And bless that gift, it hath gentle might, 

A guarding power and a guiding light !" 

The Christian home has an influence which is 
stronger .than death. It is a law to our hearts, 
and binds us with a spell which neither time nor 
change can break. The darkest villainies which 
have disgraced humanity cannot neutralize it. 
Gray-haired and demon guilt will make his dis- 
mal cell the sacred urn of tears wept over the 
memories of home ; and these will soften and 
melt into penitence even the heart of adamant. 

The home-influence is either a blessing or a 
curse, either for good or for evil. It cannot be 
neutral. In either case it is mighty, commencing 



ITS INFLUENCE. 



57 



with our birth, going with us through life, cling- 
ing to us in death, and reaching into the eternal 
world. It is that unitive power which arises out 
of the manifold relations and associations of do- 
mestic life. The specific influences of husband 
and wife, of parent and child, of brother and 
sister, of teacher and pupil, united and harmoni- 
ously blended, constitute the home-influence. 

From this we may infer the character of home- 
influence. It is great, silent, irresistible, and per- 
manent. Inke the calm, deep stream, it moves 
on in silent, but overwhelming power. It strikes 
its roots deep into the human heart, and spreads 
its branches wide over our whole being. Like 
the lily that braves the tempest, and " the Alpine 
flower that leans its cheek on the bosom of eter- 
nal snows," it is exerted amid the wildest storms 
of life, and breathes a softening spell in our 
bosom even when a heartless world is freezing 
up the fountains of sympathy and love. It is 
governing, restraining, attracting and traditional. 
It holds the empire of the heart, and rules the 
life. It restrains the wayward passions of the 
child, and checks him in his mad career of ruin. 

" Hold the little hands in prayer, teach the weak knees 
their kneeling, 

Let him see thee speaking to thy God ; he will not forget it 
afterward ; 

When old and gray, will he feelingly remember a mother's 
tender piety, 

And the touching recollection of her prayers shall arrest the 
strong man in his sin !" 

*3 



58 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Home-influence is traditional. It passes down 
the current of life from one generation to an, 
other. Its continuity is preserved from first to 
last. The homes of our forefathers rule us even 
now, and will pass from us to our children's chiL 
dren. Hence it has been called the " fixed capi- 
tal" of home. It keeps up a continuous stream 
of home-life and feeling and interest. Hence the 
family likeness, moral as well as physical, — thfe 
family virtues and vices, — coming from the family 
root and rising into all the branches ? and develop- 
ing in all the elements of the family history. 

Home-influence is attractive. It draws us to 
home, and throws a spell around our existence, 
which we have not the power to break. 

" The holy prayer from my thoughts hath pass'd, 
The prayer at my mother's knee — 
Darken'd and troubled I come at last, 
Thou home of my boyish glee !" 

Home-influence may be estimated from the im- 
mense force of first impressions. It is the pre- 
rogative of home to make the first impression 
upon our nature, and to give that nature its first 
direction onward and upward. It uncovers the 
moral fountain, chooses its channel, and gives 
the stream its first impulse. It makes the "first 
stamp and sets the first seal" upon the plastic 
nature of the child. It gives the first tone to 
our desires, and furnishes ingredients that will 
either sweeten br embitter the whole cup of life. 
These impressions are indelible, and durable as 



ITS INFLUENCE. 



59 



life. Compared with, them, other impressions are 
like those made upon sand or wax. These are 
like "the deep borings into the flinty rock." To 
erase them we must remove every strata of our 
being." Even the inficlel lives under the holy in- 
fluence of a pious mother's impressions. John 
Randolph could never shake off the restraining 
influence of a little prayer his mother taught him 
when a child. It preserved him from the clutches 
of avowed infidelity. 

The promises of God bear testimony to the 
influence of the Christian home. "When he 
grows old he will not depart from it!" History 
confirms and illustrates this. Look at those 
scenes of intemperance and riot, of crime and 
of blood, which throw the mantle of infamy 
over human life ! Look at your prisons, your 
hospitals, and your gibbets; go to the gaming- 
table and the rum-shop. Tell me, who are those 
that are there ? WTiat is their history ? Where 
did they come from ? From the faithful Chris- 
tian home ? Had they pious fathers and mothers ? 
Did they £o to these places under the holy influ- 
ence of devout and faithful parents ? No ! And 
who are they that are dying without hope and 
without God? Who are they that now throng 
the regions of the damned? Those who were 
"trained up in the way they should go?" "No I 
if they are, then the promises of God must fail. 
You may perhaps find a few such. But these are 
exceptions to a general law. The damning influ- 
ence of their unfaithful home brought them there. 



60 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Could they but speak to us from their chambers 
of wo, we should hear them pouring out curses 
upon their parents, and ascribing the cause of 
their ruin to their neglect. On the other hand, 
could we but listen to the anthems of the re- 
deemed in heaven, we should doubtless hear sen- 
timents of gratitude for a mother's prayer and a 
father's counsel. 

Let us now briefly advert to the objects of 
home-influence. It is exerted upon the mem- 
bers of home, especially upon the formation of 
their character and destiny. It moulds their 
character. The parents assimilate their children 
to themselves to such an extent that we can judge 
the former by the latter. Lamartine says that, 
when he wants to know a woman's character, he 
ascertains it by an inspection of her home, — that 
he judges the daughter by the mother. His judg- 
ment rests upon the known influence the latter 
has over the former. It gives texture and color- 
ing to the whole woof and web of character. It 
forms the head and the heart, moulds the affec- 
tions, the will and the conscience, and throws 
around our entire nature the means and appli- 
ances of its development for good or for evil. 
Every word, every incident, every look, every 
lesson of home, has its bearing upon our life. 
Had one of these been omitted, our lives would 
perhaps be different. One prayer in our child- 
hood was perhaps the lever that raised us from 
ruin. One omission of parental duty may result 
in the destruction of the child, "What an influ- 



ITS INFLUENCE. 



61 



ence home exerts upon our faitli ! Most of our 
convictions and opinions rest upon home-teaching 
and faith. A minister was once asked, "Do you 
not believe Christianity upon its evidences?" He 
replied, "No; I believe it because my mother 
taught me !" 

The same may be said of its influence upon 
our sympathies, and in the formation of habits. 
It draws us by magnetic power to home, and de- 
velops in us all that which is included in home- 
feeling and home-sickness. 

" I need but pluck yon garden flower, 
From where the wild weeds rise, 
To wake with strange and sudden power, 
A thousand sympathies !" 

In this respect how irresistible is the influence of 
a mother's love and kindness ! Her very name 
awakens the torpid streams of life, gives a fresh 
glow to the tablets of memory, and fills our hearts 
with a deep gush of consecrated feeling. 

Our habits, too, are formed under the moulding 
power of home. The "tender twig" is there 
bent, the spirit shaped, principles implanted, and 
the whole character is formed until it becomes a 
habit. Goodness or evil are there " resolved into 
necessity." "Who does not feel this influence of 
home upon all his habits of life ? The gray-haired 
father -who wails in his second infancy, feels the 
traces of his childhood-home in his spirit, desires 
and habits. Ask the strong man in the prime of 
life, whether the most firm and reliable principles 



62 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of his character were not the. inheritance of the 
parental home. What an influence the teach- 
ings and prayers of his mother Monica had upon 
the whole character of the pious Augustine ! The 
sterling worth of Washington is a testimony to 
the formative power of parental instruction. John 
Quincy Adams, even when his eloquence thunder- 
ed through our legislative halls, and caused a na- 
tion to startle from her slumber, bent his aged 
form before God, and repeated the prayer of his 
childhood. a How often in old age," says'Bishop 
Hall, "have I valued those divine passages of ex- 
perimental divinity that I heard from the lips of a 
mother !" Dr. Doddridge ever lived under the in- 
fluence of those scripture instructions his mother 
gave him from the Dutch tiles of her fireside. 
He says, "these lessons were the instruments of 
my conversion." "Generally," says Dr. Cum- 
ming, " when there is a Sarah in the house, there 
will be an Isaac in the cradle ; wherever there is a 
Eunice teaching a Timothy the scriptures from a 
child, there will be a Timothy teaching the gospel 
to the rest of mankind." By the force of this 
same influence, the pious wife may win over to 
Christ her ungodly husband, and the godly child 
may save the unbelieving parent. "Well," said a 
mother one day weeping, " I will resist no longer ! 
How can I bear to see my dear child love and read 
the scriptures, while I never look into the bible, — 
to see her retire and seek God, while I never pray, 
— to see her going to the Lord's table, while His 
death is nothing to me ! I know she is right, and 



ITS INFLUENCE., 



63 



I am wrong. I ought to have taught her ; but I 
arn sure she has taught me. How can I bear to 
see her joining the church of God, and leaving me 
behind — perhaps forever!" 1 

The Christian home has its influence also upon 
the state. It forms the citizen, lays the founda- 
tion for civil and political character, prepares the 
social element and taste, and determines our na- 
tional prosperity or adversity. "We owe to the 
family, therefore, what we are as a nation as well 
as individuals. "We trace this influence in the 
pulpit, on the rostrum, in the press, in our civil 
and political institutions. It is written upon the 
scroll of our national glory. 

The most illustrious statesmen, the most distin- 
guished warriors, the most eloquent ministers, and 
the greatest benefactors of human kind, owe their 
greatness to the fostering influence of home. ISTa- 
poleon knew and felt this when he said, "What 
France wants is good mothers, and you may be 
sure then that France will have good sons." The 
homes of the American revolution made the men 
of the revolution. Their influence reaches yet 
far into the inmost frame and constitution of our 
glorious republic. It controls the fountains of 
her power, forms the character of her citizens and 
statesmen, and shapes our destiny as. a people. 
Did not the Spartan mother and her home give 
character to the Spartan nation ? Her lessons to 
her child infused the iron nerve into the heart 
of that nation, and caused her sons, in the wild 
tumult of battle, "either to live behind their 



64 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



shields, or to die upon them !" Her influence 
fired them with a patriotism which was stronger 
than death. Had it been hallowed by the pure 
spirit and principles of Christianity, what a power 
for good it would have been ! 

But alas ! the home of an Aspasia had not the 
heart and ornaments of the Christian family. 
Though "the monuments of Cornelia's virtues 
were the character of her children," yet these 
were not "the ornaments of a quiet spirit." 
Had the central heart of the Spartan home 
been that of the Christian mother, the Spartan 
nation would now perhaps adorn the brightest 
page of history. 

But the family, whether Christian or heathen, 
exerts an overwhelming influence over the state. 
It is on the family altar that the fire of patriotism 
is first kindled, and often, too, by a mother's hand. 

" It hath led the freeman forth to stand 
In the mountain battles of his land ; 
It hath brought the wanderer o'er the seas, 
To die on the hills of his own fresh breeze." 

The same, too, may be said of the influence of 
home on the church. It is the nursery of the 
church, lays the foundation of her membership, 
and conditions the character of her members. 
The most faithful of her ministers and members 
are those generally who have been trained up in 
the most faithful families. Wherever there is the 
greatest number of such homes, there the church 
enjoys the greatest prosperity. 



ITS INFLUENCE. 



65 



"What a fearful responsibility must rest, there- 
fore upon the Christian home ! If its influence 
is for good or for evil, for weal or for woe, for 
heaven or for hell ; if it is either a powerful emis- 
sary of Satan for the soul's destruction, or an effi- 
cient agent of God for the soul's salvation, then 
how responsible are those who wield this influ- 
ence ! 

" Upon thy heart is laid a spell, 

Holy and precious — oh ! guard it well !" 

Are you not, Christian parents, responsible to 
God for the exercise of such sovereign power 
over the character and well-being of your dear 
children ? And will not the day soon come when 
you must "give an account of yoar steward- 
ship?" Oh! what if it be exerted for the ruin 
of your loved ones, and they " curse the day you 
begat them?" What if, in the day of final reck- 
oning, you find your hands drenched in the blood 
of your offspring, and hear the voice of that blood 
cry out from the hallowed ground of home against 
you, saying, "How long, oh Lord, holy and true, 
dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them 
that dwell on earth?" Oh see, then, that your in- 
fluence be wielded for good. 

" For round the heart thy power hast spun 
A thousand dear mysterious ties ; 
Then take the heart thy charms have won, 
And nurse it for the skies !" 



CHAPTER VI. 



HOME AS A STEWARDSHIP. 

" Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will 
give thee thy wages." — Exodus ii., 9. 

" For look, how many souls in thy house be, 
With just as many souls God trusteth thee !" 

The Christian home is a stewardship. The par- 
ents are stewards of God. A steward is a servant 
of a particular kind, to whom the master commits 
a certain portion of his interest to be prosecuted 
in his name and by his authority, and according 
to his laws and regulations. The steward must act 
according to the will of his master, in his dealing 
with what is committed to his care. Such was 
Eliezer in the house of Abraham ; and such was 
Joseph in the house of Potiphar. One of the spe- 
cific duties of a steward was to dispense portions 
of food to the different members of the household, 
to give servants their portion in due season, and to 
superintend the general interests of the master's 
household. 



AS A STEWARDSHIP. 



67 



In a religious sense, a steward is a minister of 
Christ, whose duty is to dispense the provisions 
of the gospel, to preach its doctrines and to ad- 
minister its ordinances. It is required of such 
that they be found faithful. — 1 Cor., chap. iv. 

In its application to the Christian home, it ex- 
presses its relation of subordination to G-od, and 
the kind of services which the former must render 
to the latter. The stewardship of home is that 
official character with which G-od has invested the 
family. In this sense the proprietorship of parents 
is from Gocl. They are invested only w T ith dele- 
gated authority. Their home is held by them only 
in trust. It belongs to them in the same sense in 
which a household belongs to a steward. It is not 
at their absolute disposal. It is the " household of 
the Lord," and they are to live and rule therein as 
the Lo^i directs. They are to appropriate it and 
dispose of its interests according to the known law 
and will of their divine Master, and in this sense, 
yield, with their whole household, a voluntary sub- 
ordination to His authority. 

As a stewardship, G-od has entrusted the Chris- 
tian home with important interests. He has com- 
mitted to her trust, body and soul, talents and 
means of grace. He has entrusted to the parents 
the training of their children both for time and 
for eternity. These children are the heritage of 
the Lord ; they are not at the absolute disposal 
of their parents; but merely entrusted to their 
care to be educated and dealt with according to 
the will of God. 



68 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



There is one great peculiarity in this steward- 
ship of the Christian family, — the absolute iden- 
tity of interest between the Master and the stew- 
ard. The interest of the former is that also of the 
latter ; and the latter, in promoting the interest of 
his Lord, is but advancing his own welfare. Such 
is the economy of the gospel, and it is this which 
makes the servitude of the Christian so delight- 
ful. Faithfulness to G-od is faithfulness to our 
own souls. Parents who are thus faithful to G-od 
must be faithful to themselves and to their chil- 
dren. Thus, then, the interest of God in our fam- 
ilies is the welfare of all the members. When 
we act towards our children as God directs, we 
are but promoting their greatest welfare. This 
is one prominent feature of God's mercy towards 
us in all His dealings with us. He identifies His 
interest with the interest of His people. •This is 
a powerful incentive to parental integrity, and is 
beautifully exemplified in the mother of Moses. 
» When the daughter of Pharaoh said to her, " Take 
this child and nurse it for me, and I will pay thee 
thy wages," was not the interest of the queen 
and the nurse the same ? In nursing him for the 
queen, that devoted mother nursed him also for 
herself ; and in doing this, she was also promot- 
ing the welfare of her son, and executing the will 
of God concerning him. This illustrates the prin- 
ciple of stewardship in the Christian home. Of 
every child, God says to its parent, — 

" Go nurse it for the King of heaven, 
And He will pay thee hire." 



AS A STEWARDSHIP. 



69 



Here is the important trust ; here, too, is the duty 
of the steward. It is a trust from God, and the 
nursing is for God. The child is a tender plant, 
an invaluable treasure, more priceless than gold, 
or pearls, or diamonds. Your duty as a steward, is 
to nurse it, to cultivate it, to polish the lovely gem, 
to take care of it. And in doing this for God, are 
you not also doing it for the child, — yea, if you 
are Christian parents, — for yourselves ? "Will not 
even natural affection, as well as the discerning 
eye of faith, like that of the mother of Moses, 
detect in this stewardship an identity between 
the interest of the Master and that of the stew- 
ard ? It was not the simple compensation which 
stimulated the mother of Moses to accede to the 
proposition of Pharaoh's daughter. What cared 
she for the " hire," if she could but save her son ! 
This was her great reward. 

Thus the interest of the child should be the 
reward of the parent. God will, it is true, re- 
ward the faithful stewaid of the family ; but He 
specially rewards and blesses parental faithful- 
ness in making His purposes concerning home, 
identical with the parent's and the children's wel- 
fare. In this domestic stewardship, 

" Like warp and woof, all interests 
Are woven fast ; 

Locked in sympathy like the keys 
Of an organ vast." 

" Fear not, little flock ; for it is your Father's 
good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Who, 



70 



THE CHKISTIAN HOME. 



then, is that faithful and wise steward whom his 
Lord shall make ruler over his household, to 
give them their portion of meat in due season ? 
Blessed is that servant whom his Lord, when He 
cometh, shall find so doing. Of a truth I say 
unto you, that He will make him ruler over all 
he hath. But and if that servant say in his heart, 
my Lord delay eth His coming, and shall begin 
to beat the men-servants and maidens, and to eat 
and drink, and to be drunken ; the Lord of that 
servant will come in a day when he looketh not 
for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and 
will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his 
portion with the unbelievers. And that servant 
which knew his Lord's will and prepared not 
himself, neither did according to His will, shall 
be beaten with many stripes." 

Here, then, we have the character and duties 
of the steward in the Christian home, the re- 
wards of their faithfulness, and the penalties of 
their unfaithfulness. As the stewards of God, 
we must be faithful, giving the souls as well as 
the bodies of our children "their meat in due 
season;" we must not " waste the goods" of our 
Lord, but be " blameless, not self-willed, not soon 
angry, not given to filthy lucre, but a lover of 
hospitality, sober, just, holy, temperate, holding 
fast the faithful word as we have been taught." 
As the faithful stewards of God, we should dedi- 
cate our household in all respects to Him, and 
make it tributary to His glory. " Seek ye first 
the kingdom of heaven, and all these things shall 



AS A STEWARDSHIP. 



71 



be added unto you." The unjust steward will 
first seek the world and the things of the world, 
its gold, its pleasures and its honors ; and after 
that seek the kingdom of heaven. But this is 
reversing the order of procedure as prescribed 
by the Master ; it is running counter to His will, 
and, consequently, wasting His goods. 

But the greatest trust committed to parents is, 
the souls of their children ; and hence their most 
responsible duty, as the stewards of God, is to at- 
tend to their salvation. You should " give them 
the bread of life in due season." It will be of 
no avail for you to inquire, " "What shall they eat, 
and what shall they drink, and wherewithal shall 
they be clothed," if you neglect this their high- 
est interest and your greatest trust ? "What shall 
a man give in exchange for his soul?" It is not 
the w r ealth, nor the magnificence of life which 
will make your home happy ; these are but the 
outward and fleeting ornaments of the world, and 
are too often the gaudy drapery in which demon 
guilt and misery are clothed. 

" The cobwebbed cottage, with its ragged wall 
Of mouldering mud, is royalty to me," 

if souls are there " fed upon the sincere milk of 
the word," and "trained up in the ways of the 
Lord." The training of the soul for heaven 
is both the duty and the glory of our homes. 
What if parents lay up affluence here for their 
children, and secure for them all that the world 
calls interest, while they permit their souls to 



72 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



famish, and do nothing for their redemption! 
Will not such parents be denounced in the day 
of judgment as unjust and unfaithful stewards ? 
And yet alas ! how many such Christian parents 
there are who prostitute this highest interest of 
home either at the altar of mammon or of fash- 
ion ! The precious time and talents with which 
God has entrusted them, they squander away in 
things of folly and of sin, leaving their children 
to grow up in spiritual ignorance and wicked- 
ness, while they resort to balls and theaters and 
masquerades, in pursuit of unhallowed amuse- 
ment and pleasure. 

Such are unnatural parents as well as unjust 
stewards, and their homes will ere long be made 
desolate. Other parents prostitute the holy trust 
of home to money. They are " self-willed " stew- 
ards, "given to filthy lucre," who, for the sake of a 
few dollars, will "waste the goods " of their Lord, 
make their homes a drudgery, and work their 
children like their horses, bring them up in igno- 
rance, like "calves in the stall," and contract their 
whole existence, and all their capacities, desires 
and hopes, in the narrow compass of work and 
money. 

"We would direct the attention of such parents 
to our last thought upon the stewardship of the 
Christian home, (the practical view of which we 
shall consider in the next chapter,) viz., that it 
involves the principle of accountability. It im- 
plies a settlement, a time when the Master and 
his steward shall meet together to close account*. 



AS A STEWARDSHIP. 



73 



" Give an account of thy stewardship ; for thou 
mayest be no longer steward." That time will 
be when "the dead, both small and great, shall 
stand before God." Then He will examine into 
your stewardship. He will ask you how you em- 
ployed your talents, and to what purpose you ap- 
propriated those interests He committed to your 
trust; and whether you were faithful to those 
souls which "hung upon your hire;" whether 
you "nursed them for him," and whether you 
provided them with "their meat in due season." 
And if you can answer, "Yea, Lord, here are 
those talents which thou hast given me ; behold 
I have gained for thee five other talents. Here, 
Lord, are those children whom thou hast given 
me ; I have brought them up in thy nurture, and 
trained them in thy ways." Your Lord will then 
answer, "Well done, thou good and faithful ser- 
vant, thou hast been faithful over a few things ; 
behold I will make thee ruler over many things ; 
enter thou into the joy of thy Lord !" 

But if you have been unfaithful as stewards, 
and have made your household unproductive for 
God, then you shall hear from his lips the dread- 
ful denunciation, " Thou wicked and slothful ser- 
vant!" "Take the talent from him, and cast 
ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness ; 
there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth; 
for unto every one that hath shall be given, and 
he shall have abundance ; but from him that hath 
not shall be taken away even that which he hath !" 
4 



CHAPTER VII. 



RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

" What a holy charge 
Is theirs ! — with what a kingly power their love 
Might rule the fountains of the new-born mind ! 
Warn them to wake at early dawn, and sow 
Good seed before the world has sown its tares." 

From the potent influence and moral steward- 
ship of the Christian home, we may infer its 
responsibility. The former is the argument for 
the latter. The extent of the one is the measure 
of the other. " To whom much is given, of them 
much will be required." Our responsibilities are 
thus commensurate with our abilities. If the 
latter are properly devoted, we have our reward ; 
if not, our curse. God will hold us accountable 
for the achievements we make by the abilities he 
has given us. If he gives us a field to cultivate, 
seed to sow, plants to train up, then we are re- 
sponsible for the harvest, just in proportion to our 
agency in its production. If there is not a har- 
vest of the right land, because we neglected to 



ITS RESPONSIBILITIES. 



75 



cultivate the soil, to sow the proper seed, and to 
train up the plants, then He will hold us account- 
able, and "we shall not come out thence till we 
have paid the uttermost farthing." 

This is an evident gospel principle. "Who will 
doubt its application to the Christian home ? The 
family is such a field ; the seed of good or evil the 
parents can sow therein ; their children are young 
and tender plants, entrusted to their care ; their 
mission from God is to " bring them up in his 
nurture " and to " train them in his ways." And 
where God gives the command, he also gives the 
power to obey. 

If, then, by their neglect, these tender plants 
are blighted, grow up in the crooked ways of folly 
.and iniquity, and the leprosy of sin spread its 
dreadful infection over all the posterity of home ; 
if, as a consequence of their unfaithfulness, the 
family becomes a moral desolation, and the anath- 
emas of unnumbered souls in perdition, rise up in 
the day of judgment against them ; or if, on the 
other hand, as the fruit of their faithful steward- 
ship, blessings and testimonials of gratitude are 
now pouring forth from the sainted loved ones in 
glory, is it not plain that a responsibility rests upon 
the Christian home, commensurate with those 
abilities which God has given her, and with those 
interests he has entrusted to her care ? 

Let us look at the objective force of this. The 
family is responsible for the kind of influence she 
exerts upon her members Look at this in its 
practical light. There is a family. God has 



76 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



given children to the parents. Haw fondly they 
cling to them, and look up to them for support 
and direction. They inherit from their parents a 
predisposition to evil or to good; they imitate 
them as their example, in all things, take their 
word as the law of life, and follow in their foot- 
steps as the sure path to happiness. These 
parents are members of the church, and, as such, 
have dedicated their children to the Lord at the 
altar of baptism, and there in the presence of God 
and a witnessing assembly, they vowed to bring 
them up in the nurture of their divine Master, 
and to minister in spiritual things to their souls. 

Yet in this home, no prayer is offered up, no 
bible instructions given, no holy example set, no 
christian government and discipline instituted, no 
religious interests promoted. But on the other 
hand, sin is overlooked, winked at, and the world 
alone sought. These children behold their parents 
toil day after day to provide for their natural life ; 
they notice the interest they take in their health 
and education, and the self-denial with which 
they seek to secure for them a temporal compe- 
tency. And from all this they quickly and very 
justly infer that their parents love their bodies 
and value this world, and by the force of filial 
imitation they soon learn to do the same, and 
with their parents, neglect their souls and kneel 
at the altars of Mammon rather than bow in 
prayer before God. And thus they go on from 
one step in departure from God to another, until 
they die without hope and without salvation. 



ITS RESPONSIBILITIES. 



77 



Tell me now, will not God hold these parents 
responsible for the ruin of their children ? "Will 
not the " blood of their destruction rest upon 
them ?" "Will not the " voice of that blood " cry 
out from their family against them ? If, as a con- 
sequence of their negligence and of the unholy 
influence they exerted upon them, they become 
desperadoes in crime and villainy, and at last 
drench their hands in a brother's blood ; and ex- 
piate their guilt upon the gibbet, and from there 
go down to the grave of infamy and to the hell 
of the murderer, will not their blood " cry unto 
them," and will not the woes and anathemas of 
Almighty God come in upon them like a flood ? 

Home-responsibility may be inferred from the 
relation of the family to God as a stewardship. 
We have seen that parents are stewards of God in 
their household, and that as such they are placed 
over their children, invested with delegated au- 
thority. God entrusts them to the care of their 
parents. Their nature is pliable, fit for any im- 
pression, exposed to sin and ruin, entering upon 
a course of life which must terminate in eternal 
happiness or misery, with bodies to develop, minds 
to educate, hearts to mould, volitions to direct, 
habits to form, energies to rule, pursuits to follow, 
interests to secure, temptations to resist, trials to 
endure, souls to save ! Oh, how the parental heart 
must swell with emotions too big for utterance, 
when they contemplate these features of their im- 
portant trust. What a mission this, to superin- 
tend the character and shape the destiny of such 



78 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



a being! Such is the plastic power you exert 
upon it, that upon your guidance will hinge its 
weal, or its woe ; and yours, therefore, will be the 
lasting benefit or the lasting shame. What you 
are now doing for your children is incorporated 
with their very being, and will be as imperishable 
as their undying souls. As the stewards of God, 
your provision for them will be " either a savor 
of life unto life or a savor of death unto death." 

"We have seen that God has given to you the 
ability and means of making them subservient to 
his glory; and hence from you he will require 
them as entrusted talents. If you have been un- 
faithful to them, your punishment will be in pro- 
portion to the wretchedness entailed upon your 
children. If, instead of the bread from heaven, 
you feed their souls with the husks of life, 
and lead them on by the opiates of bastard joys ; 
if, " when they ask of you bread, you give them a 
stone, or for a fish, you give them a serpent," will 
it not be " more tolerable for Sodom and G-omor- 
rah in the day of judgment than for you ?" 

Thus, therefore, you see, christian parents, 
how your responsibility is measured by the mag- 
nitude of those interests committed to your care, 
by the kind of infiuence you exert over them, 
and by the enormity of that guilt and wo which 
are consequent upon your unfaithfulness. Let 
this be an incentive to parental integrity. The 
day is rapidly approaching when you must give 
an account of your stewardship. Oh, what, if 
in that day you behold your children " fit for the 



ITS RESPONSIBILITIES. 



79 



eternal burning," and remember that that fitness 
is but the impress of a parent's hand ! 

Though it is painful to lose a child here ; bit- 
ter tears are shed; pungent agonies are felt; 
there are heart-burnings kindled over the grave 
of buried love. But oh, how much more agoniz- 
ing it is to bend over the dying bed of an impen- 
itent, ruined child ! And especially if, in that 
terrible moment, he turns his eyes, wild with 
despair and ominous of curses, upon the parents, 
and ascribes his ruin to their neglect ! Let me 
ask you, would not this part of that sad drama 
add to your cup of bitterness, give a fearful em- 
phasis to all your sighs, and burnings to your 
flooding tears? God would also speak to you, 
and say as he did to Cain, "the voice of thy" 
children's " blood crieth unto me !" " And now 
thou art cursed from the earth which hath opened 
her mouth to receive thy" children's "blood 
from thy hand." 

But the scene would not close at the death-bed 
of your child ; the second act would open at the 
bar of God. The maledictions of that ruined 
one would there be poured out with increased 
fury upon you. Parents of my home on earth ! 
I am lost — lost forever ! Soon I shall go where 
"the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quench- 
ed." Had you, in the home of my childhood, 
but instructed me, and been as faithful to my 
soul as you were to my body, I might stand here 
with a palm of victory in my hand, a crown of 
glory on my head, the joy of the redeemed in 



80 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



my heart, and with hosannas of praise upon my 
lips, rise upward to the untold felicities of God's 
eternal throne ! But you did not ! You fed my 
body, but you starved my soul, and left it to per- 
ish forever ! Cursed be the day in which you 
begat me, and the paps that gave me suck! 
Cursed be the years that I lived under your roof, 
— cursed be you ! Oh, parents, such rebuke 
would leave an undying worm in your souls ; 
and would cry unto you from the very depths of 
hell. 

This is no over- wrought picture. It is but the 
scripture prospectus of that terrible scene which 
shall be enacted " in the terrible and notable day 
of the Lord," when every Christian home shall 
be called to give an "account of her steward- 
ship," and be dealt with " according to the deeds 
done in the- body." 

And let me say too, that a similar and corres- 
ponding responsibility rests upon those children 
who enjoy the benefits of a faithful Christian 
home. They must answer to God for every 
blessing there enjoyed. If they turn a deaf ear 
and a cold heart to all the entreaties of their 
parents, and resist those saving influences which 
are brought to bear upon them, and as a conse- 
quence, become outcasts from society and from 
heaven, then let me warn them that, every prayer 
they heard at the family altar, every lesson given, 
every admonition delivered, and every holy ex- 
ample set them, by their pious parents, will be 
ingredients in that bitter cup which it will take 



ITS KESPONSIBILITIES. 



81 



eternity for them to exhaust ! Oh, children of 
the Christian home ! think of this, and remem- 
ber the responsibility of enjoying the precious 
benefits of a pious, faithful parent. They will be 
your weal or your woe, — your lasting glory or 
your lasting shame ! 

And, ye parents, be faithful to those little ones 
that are growing up " like olive plants around 
^our table," so that in the day of judgment, you 
may say with joy, in the full assurance of re- 
ward, "Here are we, Lord, and the children 
whom thou hast given us !" And your reward 
shall be, "Well done, thou good and faithful 
servant ! Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord ! 
*4 



CHAPTER VIII. 

THE FAMILY BIBLE. 

" What household thoughts around thee, as their shrine, 
Cling reverently ! — Of anxious looks beguiled, 

My mother's eyes upon thy page divine, 

Each day were bent ; her accents, gravely mild, 
Breathed out thy love ; whilst I, a dreamy child, 

Wandered on breeze-like fancies oft away, 

Yet would the solemn Word, 

At times, with kindlings of young wonder heard 

Fall on my wakened spirit, there to be 

A seed not lost ; for which in darker years, 
O, book of heaven ! I pour with grateful tears, 

Heart-blessings on the holy dead, and thee !" 

The family bible ! What sweet and hallowed 
memories cling like tendrils around that book of 
books ! How familiar its sacred pages ! How 
often in the sunny days of childhood, we were 
fed from its manna by the maternal hand ! It 
was our guide to the opening path of life, and a 
lamp to the feeble, faltering steps of youth. 
"Who can forget the family bible? It was the 



THE FAMILY BIBLE. 



88 



household oracle of our grandfathers and grand- 
mothers, — of our dear parents. It bears the rec- 
ord of their venerated names ; their birth, their 
baptism, their confirmation, their marriage, are 
here; and 

" Though they are with the silent dead, 
Here are they living still !" 

How joyfully they gathered around the cheerful 
hearth to read this book divine. How often 
their hearts drew consolation from its living 
springs ! What a balm it has poured into bleed- 
ing and disconsolate hearts. It has irradiated 
with the glories of eternal day, the darkest cham- 
ber of their home. What brilliant hopes and 
promises it has hung around the parental heart ! 
And here too are the names of our parents, — long 
since gathered with their fathers. Here too are 
our -names, and birth, and baptism, written by 
that parental hand, long since cold in death ! 

" My father read this holy book 

To brothers, sisters dear ; 
How calm was my poor mother's look, 

Who loved God's word to hear. 
Her angel-face — I see it yet ! 

What thronging memories come ? 
Again that little group is met 

Within the halls of home I" 

That old family bible ! Do we not love it ? 
Our names and our children's names are drawn 
from it. It is the message of our Father in heav- 



84 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



en. It is the link which connects our earthly 
with our heavenly home ; and when we open its 
sacred page, we gaze upon words which our loved 
ones in heaven have whispered, and which dwell 
even now upon their sainted lips; and which 
when we utter them, there is joy in heaven ! We 
would, therefore, say to the infidel, of this " fami- 
ly tree," as the returning child said to the woods- 
man, of the old tree which sheltered the slumbers 
and frolics of his childhood, "I'll protect it now." 

The old family bible ! "What an inheritance 
from a Christian home ! Clasp it, child, to thy 
heart; it was the gift of a mother's love! It 
bears the impress of her hand ; it is the memento 
of her devotedness to thee ; and when just before 
her spirit took its flight to a better land, she gave 
it as a guide for her child to the same happy 
home : 

" My mother's hand this bible clasped ; 
She, dying, gave it me !" 

And the spirit of that sainted mother shall still 
whisper to me through these sacred pages. In 
the light of this lamp I follow her to a better 
home. With this blessed chart I shall meet her 
in heaven. 

" With faltering lip and throbbing brow, 
I press it to my heart. " 

Every Christian home has a family bible. It 
is found in the hut as well as in the palace. It is 
an indispensable appendage to home. Without 



THE FAMILY BIBLE. 



85 



it the Christian home would be 'in darkness ; 
with it, she is a "light which shineth in dark- 
ness." It is the chart and compass of the par- 
ent and the child in their pilgrimage to a better 
home. 

" Therein thy dim eyes 
Will meet a cheering light ; and silent words 
Of mercy breathed from heaven, will be exhaled 
From the blest page into thy withered heart." 

Like an ethereal principle of light and life, its 
blessed truths extend with electric force through 
all the avenues and elements of the home-exist- 
ence, "giving music to language, elevation to 
thought, vitality to feeling, intensity to power, 
beauty and happiness." 

The bible is adapted to the Christian home. 
It is the book for the family. It is the guardian 
of her interests, the exposition of her duties, her 
privileges, her hopes and her enjoyments. It ex- 
poses her errors, reveals her authority and gov- 
ernment, sanctions her obedience, proclaims her 
promises, and points out her path to heaven. It 
makes sacred her marriages, furnishes names for 
her children, gives the sacrament of her dedica- 
tion to God, and consecrates her bereavements. 
It is the fountain of her richest blessings, the 
source of her true consolation, and the ground of 
her brightest hope. It is, therefore, the book of 
home. She may have large and splendid libra- 
ries ; history, poetry, philosophy, fiction, yea, all 
the works of classic Greece and Rome, may 



86 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



crowd upon her shelves; but of these she will 
soon grow wearied, and the dust of neglect will 
gather thick upon their gilded leaves; but of 
the bible the Christian home can never become 
weary. Its sufficiency for all her purposes will 
throw a garland of freshness around every page ; 
its variety and manifoldness ; its simplicity and 
beauty; its depth of thought and intensity of 
feeling, adapt it to every capacity and to every 
want, to every emergency and to every member, 
of the household. The little child and the old 
man, hoary with the frost of many winters, find 
an equal interest there. The rich and the poor, 
the learned and the ignorant, the high and the 
lo^, are alike enriched from its inexhaustible 
treasury. 

It is a book for the mind, the heart, the con- 
science, the will and the life. It suits the palace 
and the cottage, the afflicted and the prosperous, 
the living and the dying. It is a comfort to "the 
house of mourning," and a check to "the house 
of feasting." It " giveth seed to the sower, and 
bread to the eater." It is simple, yet grand; 
mysterious, yet plain ; and though from God, it is 
nevertheless, within the comprehension of a little 
child. You may send your children to school to 
study other books, from which they may be edu- 
cated for this world ; but in this divine book they 
study the science of the eternal world. 

The family bible has given to the Christian 
home that unmeasured superiority in all the dig- 
nities and decencies and enjoyments of life, over 



THE FAMILY BIBLE. 



ST 



the home of the heathen. It has elevated woman, 
revealed her true mission, developed the true idea 
and sacredness of marriage and of the home-rela- 
tionship ; it has unfolded the holy mission of the 
mother, the responsibilities of the parent, and the 
blessings of the child. Take this book from the 
family, and she will degenerate into a mere con- 
ventionalism, marriage into a "social contract;" 
the spirit of mother will depart ; natural affection 
will sink to mere brute fondness, and what we 
now call home would become a den of sullen self- 
ishness and barbaric lust ! 

The bible should, therefore, be the text-book 
of home-education. Where it is not, parents are 
recreant to their duty. It is the basis of all teach- 
ing, because it reveals "the truth, the way and the 
life," because it is God's testimony and message, 
and is "profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for cor- 
rection, for instruction in righteousness," and was 
written "for our learning, that we, through pa- 
tience and comfort of the scriptures, might have 
hope," and be made "wise unto salvation." 

" While thou wert teaching my lips to move 
And my heart to rise in prayer, 
I learned the way to a home above ; 
And thou shalt meet me there I" 

Its invaluable treasures, its manifoldness, its 
beautiful simplicity, its striking narrative, its 
startling history, its touches of home-life, its ex- 
pansive views of human nature, of this life and 
of that which is to come, its poetry, eloquence, 



88 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and soul-stirring sympathies and aspirations, 
make it the book for home-training. These fea- 
tures of its character will develop in beautiful 
harmony the whole nature of your child. Do 
you wish to inspire them with song ? "What songs 
are like those of Zion? Do you wish them to 
come under the influence of eloquent oration? 
"What orations so eloquent as those of the proph- 
ets, of Christ, and of his apostles ? Do you de- 
sire to refine and elevate their souls with beauty 
and sublimity? Here in these sacred pages is a 
beauty ever fresh, and a sublimity which towers 
in dazzling radiance far beyond the reach of hu- 
man genius. This is evident from the fact that 
tributes of admiration have been paid to the bible 
by the most eminent poets, jurists, statesmen, 
and philosophers, such as Milton, Hale, Boyle, 
Newton and Locke. Erasmus and John Locke 
betook themselves solely to the bible, after they 
had wandered through the gloomy maze of hu- 
man erudition. Neither Grecian song nor Roman 
eloquence ; neither the waters of Castalia, nor the 
fine-spun theorisms of scholastic philosophy, could 
satisfy their yearnings. But when they wandered 
amid the consecrated bowers of Zion, and drank 
from Siloah's brook, the thirst of their genius was 
quenched, and they took their seats with Mary at 
the feet of Jesus, and like little children, learned 
of him ! 

Even deists and infidels have yielded their trib- 
ute of praise. "What says the infidel Rosseau? 
Hear him : " The majesty of the scriptures strikes 



THE FAMILY BIBLE. 



89 



me with, astonishment. Look at the volumes of 
the philosophers, with all their pomp, how con- 
temptible do they appear in comparison with this ! 
Is it possible that a book at once so simple and 
sublime, can be the work of men ?" Thus 

"Learning and zeal, from age to age, 
Have worshiped, loved, explored the page." 

How often is this precious book abused! In 
many would-be Christian homes, it is used more 
for an ornament of fashion than for a lamp to the 
Christian's path. We find the bible upon their 
parlor table, but how seldom in the family room ! 
They make it a part of their fashionable furniture, 
to be looked at as a pretty, gilded thing. Its 
golden clasps and beautiful binding make it an 
attractive appendage to the parlor. Hence they 
buy the bible, but not the truth it contains. They 
place it upon the table as such ; and indeed many 
do not even give it that prominence, but, yielding 
to the taste of fashion, place it under the parlor 
table, and there it rests, unmolested, untouched 
and unread even for years. In many professedly 
religious families this is their family bible ! Ah ! 
it is not so heartsome as that well-marked and 
long-used old bible which lies upon the table of 
the nursery room, speaking of many year's ser- 
vice in family devotion ! The other unused bible 
seems like a stranger to the home-heart, and lies 
in the parlor just to show their visiting friends 
that they have a bible ! Go into the nursery and 
other private apartments of that home, and you 



90 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



see no bible, while you behold piles of romance 
and filthy novels, — those exponents of a vitiated 
taste and a corrupt society, suited to destroy the 
young forever ; — whose outward appearance indi- 
cates a studied perusal by both parents 'and chil- 
dren, and shows perhaps that they have been 
wept over; and whose inward substance must 
ever nauseate healthy reason, as well as poison 
the heart of youth, leading them from the sober 
realities of life into a world of nonentities. 

But upon the family bible you cannot trace 
the hand of diligent piety. It is shoved back into 
some part of the room, as a worthless thing, ob- 
solete and superfluous. And see ! it is not even 
kept in decent order. The dust of many day's 
neglect has gathered thick upon its lids. Oh, 
Christian parents, when you thus close up the 
wells of salvation by the trash of degenerate 
taste and vitiated morals, you are despising the 
testimonies of the Lord, and leading your chil- 
dren step by step to the verge of destruction. 
You may buy them splendid bibles, gilt and 
clasped with gold, and have their names labeled 
in golden letters upon its lid ; but if the good old 
family bible is neglected, and the yellow covered 
literature of the day substituted in its stead ; if 
you permit them to buy and read love-sick tales 
in preference to their bible, and they see you do 
the same, you are but making a mock of God's 
"Word, and must answer before Him for your 
children's neglect of its sacred pages. 

Let me, therefore, affectionately admonish you 



THE FAMILY BIBLE. 



91 



to be faithful to that precious book you call the 
family bible. Read it to your children every day. 
From its sacred pages teach them the way to live 
and the way to die. Let it be an opened, studied 
family chart to guide you and them in visions of 
untold glory to the many mansions of your 
Father's offered home in heaven. It will soothe 
your sorrows, calm your fears, strengthen your 
faith, brighten your hopes, and throw around the 
graves of the loved and the cherished dead, the 
light and promise of reunion in heaven ! 

" A drop of balm from this rich store, 
Hath healed the broken heart once more. 
Like angels round a dying bed, 
Its truths a heavenly radiance shed ; 
And hovering on celestial wings, 
Breathe music from unnumbered strings." 



CHAPTER IX. 



INFANCY. 

"A babe in a house is a -well-spring of pleasure, a messenger 

of peace and love ; 
A resting place for innocence on earth ; a link between angels 

and men ; 

Yet it is a talent of trust to be rendered back with interest ; 

A delight, but redolent of care, honey sweet, but lacking not 
the bitter, ^ 

For character groweth day by day, and all things aid it in un- 
folding, 

And the bent unto good or evil may be given in the hours of 
infancy." 

The birth, of each child constitutes a new era 
in the Christian home, and multiplies its cares, its 
pleasures and its responsibilities. The first-born 
babe, like 

" The first gilt thing 
That wears the trembling pearls of spring," 

throws the rainbow colors of hope and joy over 
the bowers of home, and awakens in the bosom 



INFANCY. 



93 



of parents, emotions and sympathies, new-born 
and never before experienced ; cords in the heart, 
before untouched, now begin to thrill with new 
joy; sympathies, before unfelt, now swell the 
bosom. Sleep on, thou little one, in thy " rosy 
mesh of infancy," in the first buddings of thy 
being ! These hours of thy innocence are the 
happiest of thy life. Thou art "the parent's 
transport and the parent's care." Blessings are 
fondly poured upon thy head. Rest thee there 
in thy little bed, thou happy emblem of the loved 
and pure in heaven ' 

" Visions sure of joy 
Are gladdening his rest; and ah, who knows 
But waiting angels do converse in sleep 
With babes like this!" 

imparting to his infant soul unutterable things, 
whispering soft of bliss immortal given, and pour- 
ing into his new-born senses the dreams of open- 
ing heaven. 

"What charms and momentous interests sur- 
round the cradle of infancy ! "When the first 
wailing of dependence reaches the listening ear, 
what new-born sympathies spring up in the par- 
ent's bosom ! What a thrill of rapture the first 
soft smile of her babe sends to the mother's 
heart ! It is this, the parents' likeness unsullied 
by their faults and cares ; it is this, their living 
love in personal being, — their love breathing and 
smiling before them, lisping their names; it is 
this, — their new-born hope and care, — that gives 



94 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



to infancy such a charm, such a never-dying in- 
terest, and causes the parent to cling to it with 
such fond tenacity. " Can a mother forget her 
sucking child ?" Never, while she claims a moth- 
er's heart ! The couch of her hahe is the deposit- 
ory of all those fond hopes and joys and cares and 
memories to which a mother's heart is sacred. 

The infant is the most interesting member of 
the Christian home. It is the first budding of 
home-life, disclosing every day some new beauty, 
"the father's lustre and the mother's bloom," to 
gladden the hearts of the family. " As the dewy 
morning is more beautiful than the perfect day ; 
as the opening bud is more lovely than the full 
blown flower, so is the joyous dawn of infant 
life more interesting than the calm monotony of 
riper years." It is the most interesting, because 
the purest, member of the household. It is the 
connecting link which binds home to its great 
antitype above. "Ye stand nearest to G-od, ye 
little ones," nearer than those who have tasted 
the bitter cup of actual sin. They are the 
budding promises, the young loves, the precious 
plants of home; they are its sunshine, its pro- 
gressive interest, its prophetic happiness, the first 
link in the chain of its perpetuity. Like the 
purple hue of the wild heath, throwing its gay 
color over the rugged hill-side, they cast a magic 
polish over the spirit of the parent, causing the 
home-fireside to glow with new life and cheerful- 
ness. 

Infants are emblems of the loved and sainted 



INFANCY. 



95 



ones in heaven. " Of such is the kingdom of 
heaven." " Except ye become as this little child, 
ye cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven." 
This is based upon proper principles. The heart 
of the child is purely devotional and confidential. 
It is a helpless dependent upon the parent. It 
abdicates its self-will with joy; silently do the 
laws of home control it ; its reverence and love 
are the melody of its being; its life is an ex- 
change of obedience for protection. Its path is 
chosen for it by the lamp of parental experience, 
and the calm pure light of a mother's love. How 
close it keeps to the heart that loves it, and to the 
hand that leads it! It looks without doubt or 
suspicion in the parent's eye, and makes the par- 
ent's home and interest its own. 

Here is a picture of the true child of G-od in 
his tent-home on earth, and in his eternal home 
in heaven. For this they are given to us. As 
they are to us, their parents, so should we be to 
our Father in heaven, and so are all those loved 
and sainted ones who have gone before us. 

• " Little children, flowers from heaven, 

Strewn on earth by God's own hand, 
Earnest emblems to us given, 
From the fields of angel-land !" 

Hence it was that Jesus loved little children, 
took them in His arms, blessed them, and regard- 
ed them as " the lambs of His nock." " He shall 
gather the lambs with His arm." He gazed with 
pleasure into their sweet faces, invited their par- 



96 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

ents to bring them unto Him, and held them up 
as the type of the spirit and character of the ad- 
mitted into heaven. And the aged John, having 
in view this typical character of children, ad- 
dressed his followers as his little children ! 

Infants are helpless dependents upon others for 
subsistence and protection. If abandoned at their 
birth, their first breath would soon be succeeded 
by their last. Hence they demand all the atten- 
tion which maternal love and tenderness can be- 
stow. They live like the tender bud or the open- 
ing blossom, exposed to the blight 'of a thousand 
fortuitous events. Hence their existence is very 
precarious ; in a moment they may sink like the 
frosted flower in its lovely blush. This may be 
said of the soul as well as of the body and mind. 
"What an argument, therefore, we have here for 
parental diligence and promptness in duty to the 
eternal as well as to the temporal well-being of 
the child. 

The infant is the first prophecy of the man. It 
is the germ of manhood. It is the man in a state 
of involution. It is the undeveloped man. In- 
fancy is the twilight of life, — the first morning of 
an endless being, the age of germ and of mere 
sense. As the first dawn of spring is the season 
of the undeveloped harvest, so childhood is man- 
hood in possibility. The infant is the vernal bud 
of life ; it is a being of promise and of hope, — 
the prophecy of the future man. Hence the 
age of education. The mother, in the nursery, 
is ever evolving into the strength of maturity 



INFANCY. 97 

those powers of her child which will be wielded 
for happiness or for misery. Her babe is an 4 4 em- 
bryo angel, or an infant fiend." We behold in 
that fragile form, the bud of the strong man,- — 
the possibility of one who may in a few years 
arouse with his thrilling eloquence a slumbering 
nation, or with the torch and sword of revolu- 
tion, overturn empires and dethrone kings, or 
with his feet upon the walls of Zion, and the 
words of life upon his lips, overthrow the strong- 
holds of Satan, and bring the rebel sinner in pen- 
itence to the feet of Jesus. Yea, we see in that 
wailing infant of a week, the outspringing of an 
immortal spirit which may soon hover on cherub- 
pinion around the throne of God, or perhaps, in a 
few years, sink to the regions of untold anguish. 
Oh, it is this which gives to the cradle of infancy 
such a thrilling interest. The star of those new- 
born hopes, which hangs over it, will set in eter- 
nal night, or rise with increasing splendor, till it 
is lost in the full blaze of eternal day ! 

Infants are a great, a dangerous and responsi- 
ble trust. They are the property of God, — " an 
heritage from the Lord," given to their parents 
as a loan, a " talent of trust to be rendered back 
with interest." The infant is especially the moth- 
er's trust. 

" Though first by thee it lived, on thee it smiled, 
Yet not for thee existence must it hold, 
For God's it is, not thine !" 

Given by its Creator in trust to her, it is her task 
5 



98 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



to bring it up for God. Here especially do we 
see the holy mission of the mother. None but 
the mother's heart and love can give security for 
this trust. The father is unfit by nature for the 
delicate training of infancy. The mother's hand 
alone can smooth the infant's couch, and her voice 
alone can sing him to his rosy rest. Her never- 
wearied love alone can watch beside him " till the 
last pale star had set," 

" While to the fullness of her heart's glad heavings 
His fair cheek rose and fell ; and his bright hah* 
Waved softly to her breast." 

She is the ministering angel of infancy, and the 
priestess of the nursery of home. She sets the 
first seal, makes the first stamp, gives the first 
direction, supplies the first want, and soothes the 
first sorrow. To her is committed human life in 
its most helpless and dangerous state. Touch it 
then with the rude hand of parental selfishness ; 
let it grow up in a barren soil, amid noxious weeds, 
under the influence of unholy example ; and the 
delicate tints of this blossom will soon fade ; the 
blush of loveliness will soon give way to the blight 
of moral deformity. 

Hence every babe will be the parent's glory or 
the parent's shame, their weal or then' woe. If 
entrusted to them, God will hold them responsi- 
ble for its moral training. He will require it from 
them with interest. Their trust involves the eter- 
nal happiness or misery of their child. The pro- 
ductions of art will perish; the sun will be blot- 



INFANCY. 



99 



ted out, and all the glory and magnificence of the 
world will vanish away, but your babe will live 
forever. It will survive the wreck of nature, and 
either shine as a diadem in the Redeemer's crown 
of glory, or dwell in the blackness and darkness 
of perdition forever. 

To you, Christian parents, as the stewards of 
God, this precious being is entrusted. The care 
of its body, mind and spirit is committed to you ; 
and its character and destiny in after life will be 
the fruit of your dealings with it. It looks to you 
for all things. It confides in you, draws its confi- 
dence from your protection, relies on your known 
love, takes you as the pattern of its life, imitates 
you as its example, learns from you as its teacher, 
is ruled by you as its governor, is measured by 
you as its model, feels satisfied with you as its 
sufficiency, and rests its all upon you as its all and 
in all. 

Thus you are the very life and soul of its being, 
and hence in its maturity, it will be a fair ex- 
ponent of your character. You are the center 
around which its life revolves, the circumference 
beyond which it never seeks to go. What, there- 
fore, if you are unfit to move and act in its pres- 
ence ! What, if in its imitation of you, its life 
be a progressive departure from G-od ! Oh, what, 
if in the day of judgment, it be an outcast from 
heaven, and, as such, bear the impress of a par- 
ent's hand ! God will then hold you account- 
able for every injury you may have done your 
child. 



100 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Begin, therefore, the work of training that 
infant, now, while its nature is pliahle, suscepti- 
ble, yet tenacious of first impressions. ""With 
his mother's milk the young child drinketh edu- 
cation." "What you now do for your child will 
be seen in all future ages. " Scratch the green 
rind of a sapling, or wantonly twist it in the 
soil, the scarred and crooked oak will tell of 
thee for centuries to come." "It will not de- 
part from the ways in which you train it." If, 
therefore, you would be a blessing to your child, 
and avert those terrible judgments of GTod which 
rest upon parental delinquency, begin now, while 
your infant is in the cradle, to sow the seeds of 
life. Prune well the tender olive plants, and 
direct its evolving life in the way God would 
have it go. 

" Soon as the playful innocent can prove 
A tear of pity or a smile of love," 

teach it to lisp the name of Jesus and to walk in 
His commandments. But alas ! how many Chris- 
tian parents are recreant to this duty ! How many 
destroy their children by the over-indulgence of a 
misdirected love and sympathy, and by procrasti- 
nating the period of home-education. Forgetful 
of the power of first impressions, they wait until 
their children are established in sin, and the seeds 
of evil are sown in their hearts. 

This is the reason why so many reckless and 
wicked children come out of Christian homes. 
Their parents permit their misdirected fondness 



INFANCY. 



101 



to absorb all their thoughts and apprehensions of 
danger and responsibility. Their love for the 
body and mind of their children seems to repel 
all love for, or interest in, their soul. The former 
they tenderly nurse, fondly caress, and zealously 
direct. But the soul of the infant is unhonored, 
unloved and uncared for. It is blighted in its 
first bursting of beauty. Oh, cruel and unthink- 
ing parents ! why will you thus abuse the loveliest 
and noblest part of your child ? Why make that 
babe of yours a mere plaything ? If " out of the 
mouths of babes and sucklings God has perfected 
praise," then why not train them up to praise 
Him? "Take heed that ye despise not .one of 
these little ones, for I say unto you, that in heaven 
their angels do always behold the face of my Fa- 
ther which is in heaven." Oh, you who are the 
nurse of infant innocence, have you ever thought 
of the deep curse that will attend your neglect of 
the babe which God has given you ! Have you, 
pious mother, as you pressed your child to your 
bosom, ever thought that it would one day be a 
witness for or against you ? Far better for thee 
and it that it were not born and you never revered 
as mother, than that you should nourish it for spir- 
itual beggary here, and for the eternal burnings 
hereafter ! Oh, look upon that babe ! It is the 
gift of God, — given to thee, mother, to nurse for 
Him. Look upon that cherished one ! See its 
smile of confidence turned to you ! It is a frail 
and helpless bark on the tumultuous sea of life ; 
it looks to you for direction, — for compass and 



102 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

for chart ; your prayers for it will be heard ; your 
hand can save it ; the touch of your impressions 
will be a savor of life unto life, or of death unto 
death. 

" Then take the heart thy charms have won, 
And nurse it for the skies I" 



CHAPTER X. 



HOME DEDICATION. , 

" The rose was rich in bloom on Sharon's plain, 
When a young mother with her first bora thence 
Went up to Zion., for the boy was vowed 
Unto the Temple-service ; by the hand 
She led him, and her silent soul, the while, 
Oft as the dewy laughter of his eye 
Met her sweet serious glance, rejoiced to think 
That aught so pure, so beautiful, was hers, 
To bring before her Grod !" 

Beautiful thought, and thrice beautiful deed, 
— fresh from the pure fount of maternal piety! 
The Hebrew mother consecrating her first-born 
child to the Temple-service, — dedicating him to 
the God who gave him ! "What visions of un- 
earthly glory must have been before her, as she 
led her little boy before the altar of the " King 
of kings !" Happy mother ! thou hast long since 
gone to thy great reward. And happy child ! to 
be led by such a mother. Ye are now together 
in that temple " not made with hands, eternal in 
the heavens," and with united voice swelling 



104 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

those anthems of glory which are poured from 
angelic lips and harps to Him who sitteth upon 
the throne. 

What an example is this for the Christian pa- 
rent ! God is the Father of every home. From 
Him cometh down every good and perfect gift; 
and hence to Him should all the interests and the 
loved ones of the household be dedicated. This 
is essential to the very conception of a Christian 
home. 

But especially should the children be dedicated 
to the Lord. That infant over which the mother 
bends and watches with such passionate fondness, 
is "an heritage of the Lord," given to her only 
in trust, and will again be required from her. 
As soon as children are given they should be 
devoted to Him; for "the flower, when offered 
in the bud, is no mean sacrifice. " Then and 
then only will parents properly respect and value 
their offspring, and deal with them as becometh 
the property of God. By withholding them, the 
parents become guilty of the deed of Ananias 
and Sapphira. Like the Hebrew mother, every 
Christian parent will gratefully devote thefu to 
Him, and rejoice that they have such a pure 
oblation to "bring before their God." 

" My child, my treasure, I have given thee up 
To Him who gave thee me ! Ere yet thine eye 
Rested with conscious love upon thy mother, 
Long ere thy lips could gently sound her name, 
She gave thee up to G-od ; she sought for thee 



ITS DEDICATION. 



' 105 



One boon alone, that thou mightest be His child ; 
His child sojourning on this distant land, 
His child above the blue and radiant sky, 
'Tis all I ask of thee, beloved one, still !" 

Here is a dedication worthy of a Christian 
mother. Natural affection and human pride 
might lead the fond mother to dedicate her 
child at the altar of Mammon, to gold, to fame, 
to magnificence, to the world. But no, every 
wish of the pious mother's heart is merged in 
one great wish and prayer, "that thou may'st 
be His child." 

The dedication of our children to the Lord is 
one of the first acts of the religious ministry of 
home. All the means of grace will be of no 
avail without it. What will the acts of the gos- 
pel minister avail if they are not preceded by an 
offering of himself to the Lord who has called 
him? His holy vocation demands such an of- 
fering. It is his voluntary response to and ac- 
ceptance of his calling of God. Thus with 
Christian parents. "What will baptism avail, 
so far as the parents are concerned, without this 
dedication of their children to Him in whose 
name they are baptised ? No more than the 
form apart from the spirit. It would be but a 
mockery of God. 

We have a beautiful example and illustration 
of this dedication, in the family of the faithful 
Abraham. "By faith Abraham, when he was 
tried, offered up Isaac : and he that had received 
the promises offered up his only begotten son." 



106 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



"We might at first view regard this act of his as 
an evidence of his want of parental sympathy 
and tenderness. Bui; not so ; it is rather an evi- 
dence of these. "What he did was the prompting 
of a true faith, yielding implicit obedience to the 
Lord, and offering as an obligation to Him, what 
he loved most upon earth. Had he not loved 
him so dearly, God would not have chosen him 
as a means of testing his father's religious fidel- 
ity. Hence this oblation of his son was the best 
evidence of his supreme love to God, and that all 
he had was consecrated to his service. This act 
called for the subordination of natural affection 
to christian faith and love. " Take now thine 
only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee 
into the land of Moriah, and offer him there for 
a burnt offering !" 

What a startling command was this ! How it 
must have stirred up the soul of that parent, and 
for the time caused a bitter conflict between nat- 
ural affection and christian faith! "Take thy 
son," — had it been a slave, the command would 
not have been so stirring ; but a son, an only son, 
the joy of his heart, and the pride and hope of 
his age, — the son he so much loved, — oh it was 
this that harrowed up such a revulsion in his 
soul, and, for the moment doubtless, caused him 
to shrink from the very thought of obedience. 
But the command was imperious, — it was from 
God; and though the parent shrunk from the 
deed, yet the faith of the faithful servant gained 
a signal triumph over all the protestations of nat~ 



ITS DEDICATION. 107 

• 

ural affection, and silenced all its rising murmurs ; 
for "Abraham rose up early in the morning, and 
saddled his ass, and took two of his young men 
with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood 
for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto 
the place of which God had told him." There 
he built an altar, laid the wood in order, bound 
Isaac, and laid him upon the wood on the altar. 
But when with uplifted sacrificial knife, he was 
about to slay his son, just at the point where God 
had the true test of his faith, a ministering angel 
stayed his hand, and prevented the bloody form 
in which he was about to offer his only son to 
God ; " for now I know that thou fearest God, 
seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only 
son, from me !" He needed now but dedicate 
him in the moral sense to God. 

The case of Samuel is another instance of the 
offering of children unto the Lord. His mother 
had asked him of the Lord, and vowed, as she 
prayed, to 4 ' give him unto the Lord all the days 
of his life." — 1 Sam. i., 11. Her prayer was an- 
swered, and in obedience to her holy vow, she 
took him, when very young, with her to the 
Temple, where she offered him up as an oblation 
to the Lord. " For this child I prayed, and the 
Lord hath given me my petition which I asked 
of him; therefore also have I lent him to the 
Lord ; as long as he liveth shall he be lent unto 
the Lord!" David also consecrated all that he 
'had to the Lord, — his possessions as well as his 
children. When he built a house, he dedicated 



108 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

it to the Lord, and prepared " a psalm and song 
at the dedication of the house." 

Here in these examples of Old Testament fami- 
ly offerings to God, we have a type and illustra- 
tion of the ohlations of the Christian home. The 
Lord does not ask the Christian parent, as he did 
Abraham, to build an altar upon the summit of 
some lofty cliff, and there to thrust a sacrificial 
knife to the heart of his child, and offer his quiv- 
ering flesh and bleeding body a burnt offering to 
him ; but he commands him to bring his child to 
the altar of baptism in his church, and there dedi- 
cate his life, his talents, his all, as a living sacri- 
fice "holy and acceptable unto God," vowing 
before witnessing angels and men that, as the 
steward of God and the representative of the 
child, he will hold it sacred as the property of ike 
Lord, given to him only in trust; that he will 
consult and faithfully execute the will of the 
Lord concerning the child, and that in all his re- 
lations to it, he will seek to make it subserve his 
purposes and reflect his glory. 

This is the most precious and acceptable obla- 
tion of the parent's heart and home, — more pre- 
cious than gold or pearls, than rivers of blood or 
streams of oil ; and where there is a correspond- 
ing dedication of all that belongs to home, it pro- 
motes and preserves the highest privileges and 
the greatest well-being of the child. With the 
deep and sublime feelings of faith we should, 
therefore, take our little ones, in infancy, before 
the Lord; us the free-will offering of the Christian 



ITS DEDICATION 



109 



home ; and in all subsequent periods of their life 
under the parental roof, we should eagerly watch, 
in each expanding faculty, in each growing incli- 
nation, in the bent of each tender thought, in the 
warm glow of each feeling and desire, for some 
indications of the will of God concerning their 
mission in this life. 

This leads us to remark finally, that, in the 
dedication of our children to the Lord, we should 
have reference to the highest function within the 
calling of man, viz : the christian ministry ; or in 
other words, we should offer our sons to God 
with the hope and prayer that He may call them 
to the work of the ministry, and every indication 
of His answer to our prayer, given in their men- 
tal and moral fitness, should encourage the par- 
ent to train them up with special reference to that 
sacred office. 

This, the state of the church and the many des- 
titute and waste places of the earth, imperiously 
demand. Like the Hebrew mother, we should at 
least devote one of our sons to the Temple-service, 
direct his attention to it, favor it by all our inter- 
course with him, and use all proper means for his 
preparation for it. And you may be assured that 
God will answer your prayer. Your offering, if 
holy, will be acceptable. 

"Even thus, of old, a babe was offered up — 
Young Samuel, for the service of His Temple ; 
Nor He refused the boon, but poured on him 
The anointing of all gifts and graces meet 
For his high office. " 



110 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



But alas ! how many parents refuse thus to 
yield their sons unto God ! They will formally 
and outwardly dedicate their children to Him in 
holy baptism ; but afterwards obstruct their way 
to the ministry, yea, even discourage it for rea- 
sons the most worldly and infidel. They will 
remind them of its arduous duties and self-de- 
nials ; they will remind them that it affords no 
money speculations, that the . salary of ministers 
is so small, no wealth can be amassed by preach- 
ing, and besides, they will have to remove so far 
from home. And thus by urging such frivolous 
objections, they beget in their sons a prejudice 
against the ministry, — yea, a contempt for it. 
Ah, if preaching were a money-making busi- 
ness ; if it opened the door to luxury and afflu- 
ence and worldly ease, then I am sure every 
parent would show the outward piety of dedi- 
cating his sons (and daughters too) to the min- 
istry. Here we see how natural affection, mis- 
directed by the love of worldly gain, neutralizes 
the promptings of faith. Had Abraham lived 
under the same influence, he would not have 
obeyed the edict of God. It is because of the 
dominant spirit of worldliness in the Christian 
home, that the laborers upon the walls of Zion 
are inadequate to the great work to be done, that 
they are insufficient for the great harvest of 
souls. And this will ever continue so long as 
Christian parents refuse to make an offering of 
their sons to God, and turn their homes into a 
den of thieves. 



ITS DEDICATION. 



Ill 



Such parental reservation of children for filthy 
lucre and the pleasures of sin for a season, in- 
volves a guilt which no redeeming attribute can 
mitigate. If God gave his only Son to suffer 
and die upon the accursed tree, shall we, his 
professed followers, not give in turn our sons 
to Him, to proclaim the glad news of a pur- 
chased and offered redemption ? Think of this, 
oh ye who profess to be the parents of a Christ- 
ian home, and have with the lip had your chil- 
dren dedicated to God in baptism ! Think that 
the gift of God has bought them with a price, 
and that as they belong to Him, you rob God 
when you withhold them, and deal with them 
as your own property, leaving out of view the 
great law of stewardship. Mistaken parents ! 
methinks you would give your children to all 
save to God; you would devote them to any 
thing but religion. You fit them for this life, 
choose their occupation, labor to leave them a 
large inheritance, and rejoice when they rise to 
eminence in the world. 

But in all this, God, religion and eternity are 
cast into the shade ; you act towards them as if 
God had no claim upon them, and y,ou were 
under no obligations to meet that claim. Think 
of this, ye who have been recreant to your duty, 
— ye who have not followed Abraham to the 
mount of oblation, nor brought up your sons as 
an offered Samuel. Oh think, that God will 
demand of you these children, and that , if they 
are not now devoted to the Lord, you will not 



112 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



have them to return to Hirn in the great day of 
final reckoning. May the momentous interests 
and responsibilities of that coming day bring 
you with your children around the altar of con- 
secration, and constrain you there to say — 

" I give thee to thy God — the G-od that gave thee, 
A well-spring of deep gladness to my heart ! 

And precious as thou art, 
And pure as dew of Hermon, He shall have thee, 
My own, my beautiful, my undefiled ! 

And thou shalt be His child !" 



CHAPTEE XI. 



4 

CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 

*' Water — of blest purity 
Emblem — do we pour on thee $ 
Little one ! regenerate be — 
Only by the crimson flood 
Of the Spotless, in the blood 
Of the very Son of Glod ! 
Father, Son and Holy Ghost ! 
Take the feeble, take the lost, 
Purchased once at Calvary's cost !" 

"What delightful associations cluster around the 
baptismal altar ! How tenderly does the pious 
mother fold her babe to her yearning heart, as she 
devoutly approaches that consecrated spot, and 
there dedicates in and through this holy sacra- 
ment, the child of her love and hope, to Him 
who gave it ! "What a holy charge she there 
assumes ; what a sacred vow she there makes ; 
what a solemn promise she there gives ; what a 
momentous interest is entrusted to her there ; 
what a weight of responsibility is there laid upon 
her ! 



114 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Her charge is an infant soul ; her vow is to be 
faithful to it; her promise is to train it up for 
God ; and her's will be the lasting glory or the 
lasting shame ! These very engagements and 
trusts elevate the pious parents ; diffuse a ten- 
derness and sympathy over all the domestic rela- 
tions, and make better husbands, better wives, 
better parents, and better children, by the deep 
insight which is given to their faith in those mys- 
terious relations and mutual obligations which 
bind them together. As the consecrated water 
falls upon the face of the devoted child, the par- 
ents feel the solemn vow sink deep into the soul, 
and realize the weight of that responsibility which 
God lays upon them. 

God commands us not only to dedicate our chil- 
dren to Him, but to do so in the way He has ap- 
pointed, viz., in and through Christian baptism. 
In this way we bring our children into the church, 
and train them up in a churchly way. We bring 
them to God through -the church. In their bap- 
tism we have, as it were, a confirmation of their 
dedication by "the mighty Master's seal." It is 
the link which binds our children to the church, 
the rite of their initiation into the kingdom of 
Christ, the sign and seal of their saving relation 
to the covenant of grace. By it they are solemnly 
set apart to the service of God, enrolled among 
the members of His kingdom, entitled to its priv- 
ileges and guardian care, and placed in the ap- 
pointed way of salvation and eternal life, receiv- 
ing the seal and superscription of the Son of God. 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



115 



This is indispensable to the demands of the Chris- 
tian faith. To deny that infants are thus in eluded 
in the covenant of grace, destroys the purity and 
spiritual unity of the Christian compact, and sub- 
verts the foundations and harmony of the Chris- 
tian home. 

It is revolting to the parent's faith to forbid 
his little ones the privilege of the church, and to 
treat them as aliens from the covenant of prom- 
ise. Does the gospel place them under such a ban 
of proscription ? Surely not ! He who instituted 
the family relation had special regard to the fam- 
ily in all the appointments of his grace. His com- 
mand is like that of Noah, " Come thou and all 
thy house into the ark." " The promise is unto 
you and your children." This is the comfort of 
the parent, that his children are planted by the 
ordinance of God into the soil of grace, where 
they may grow up as a tender plant in the like- 
ness of His death, and be " like a tree planted by 
the rivers of water, that shall bring forth his fruit 
in his season ; his leaf shall not wither, and what- 
soever he doeth shall prosper." 

Baptism in the Christian home is eminently 
infant baptism. Take this away, and you sever 
the strongest cord that binds church and home. 
As the Jew was commanded to circumcise his 
child, and thus bring it into proper relations 
to the theocratical covenant, so the Christian has 
a similar command from Christ to bring his 
children, through the holy sacrament of bap- 
tism, to Him. It is not our purpose to discuss 



116 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME 



the baptistic question. "When we shall have 
thrown sufficient light upon it to convince the 
Christian parent, that it is a duty to have little 
children dedicated to God in baptism, our plan 
shall be fully executed. "We must either admit 
infant baptism, or deny that the Christian cove- 
nant includes children, and that the parent is 
bound to dedicate them to God.. Hence the ob- 
jection brought against infant baptism can, with 
equal propriety, be urged against circumcision ; 
for the latter is the type of the former. In bap- 
tism Christ places Himself in true organic rela- 
tions to the child, and thus opens up to it the 
sources from which alone the Christian life can 
proceed and develop itself. 

The baptism of our children is grounded in 
their need of salvation at every age and stage of 
development. It is also based upon the very idea 
of Christ Himself ; upon primitive Christianity ; 
upon the extent and compass of the Christian 
covenant; and upon those vital relations which 
believing parents sustain to their offspring. It 
might be proven from the commission given by 
Christ to His disciples to "preach the gospel to 
every creature ;" from His language and conduct 
in reference to children; from the usage of the 
Apostles and of the apostolic church. The idea 
and mission of Christ Himself, we think, would 
be a sufficient argument in favor of infant bap- 
tism. He included in His life the stage of child- 
hood, and came to save the child as well as the 
man- His own infancy and childhood are securi- 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 117 

ties for this. He entered into and passed through 
all the various states and stages of man's develop- 
ment on earth, and thus became adapted to the 
wants of every period of our life, — man's infancy 
as well as man's maturity. Ireneus says, " Christ 
J esus became a child to children, a youth to youth, 
and a man to man." The fact, too, that the bless- 
ings of the covenant of grace are extended to the 
children of believing parents, is sufficient to prove 
the validity of infant baptism. Peter said on the 
day of Pentecost, when he called upon his hear- 
ers to be baptized: "for the promise is to you, 
and your children, and all that are afar off, even 
as many as the Lord our God shall call." 

Thus His gospel excludes none, neither is it 
restricted to a certain age or capacity. As the 
child, as well as the man, fell and died in the 
first Adam, so the child, as well as the man, 
can be made alive in the second Adam. As 
infants, therefore, are subjects of grace, why not 
subjects also of baptism ? As they are included 
in the covenant, why not enter it by the divinely 
constituted sacrament of initiation ? As they are 
included in the plan of salvation, why not receive 
it in a churchly way? If Christ is the Saviour of 
infants, why not bring them to Him through bap- 
tism ? 

Besides, the idea of following Christ reaches its 
full meaning only through infant baptism. His 
own infancy, as we have already seen, is a warrant 
of this. Without it He cannot penetrate and rule 
in every natural stage of human life. Hence a 



118 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

9 

denial of infant baptism is a subversion of the 
fundamentals of Christian doctrine. The very 
constitution of the Christian family, its unity and 
mission must be overthrown ; for infant baptism 
is incorporated with the nature of Christianity 
itself, with the conception and necessities of the 
individual Christian life, and of the Christian 
family life. 

And yet with the plainest teachings of the gos- 
pel before them, is it not strange that there are so 
many virulent enemies to infant baptism ? Their 
rejection of it seems to rest mainly upon the un- 
tenable position that baptism has meaning and 
force only when it is the fruit of an antecedent, 
self-conscious faith on the part of the subject, and 
that it is but the outward demonstration of a sepa- 
rate and prior participation of some inward grace. 
As infants have not a self-conscious faith, it is be- 
lieved, therefore, that they are not, of course, fit 
subjects of baptism. 

There is a cunning sophistry in all this. It 
goes upon the supposition that faith necessarily 
demands the prior development of self-conscious- 
ness. It assumes that faith is bound to a particu- 
lar age, and can be exercised only after the full 
and complete development of the logical con- 
sciousnes, and is dependent upon it; it also as- 
sumes that this faith must necessarily be exer- 
cised by the subject of Christian baptism. 

Now this is all mere assumption. There is no 
scripture for it. In all this, the distinction is not 
made between faith in its first bud, and faith in 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



119 



its ripe fruit. The first may exist in the uncon- 
scious infant, just as undeveloped reason exists 
there ; because natural powers do not generate 
supernatural faith. Faith is the gift of God; 
and its existence does not depend upon any par- 
ticular stage of mental development. The ene- 
mies of infant baptism can see nothing in baptism. 
They can see no objective force in that holy sacra- 
ment; but regard it as something merely exter- 
nal, extraneous, unproductive, — a mere unmean- 
ing form in which a prior faith is pleased to ex- 
press itself, as the conclusion of a work already 
accomplished. The great error here lies just in 
this, that they mistake it as an act of faith, where- 
as it is an act of Christ. They think it is the 
formal rite through which they elect and receive 
Christ ; whereas it is the sacrament in which 
Christ elects and receives them. 

If, in church worship, man placed himself in a 
relation to God, without God placing Himself in 
a relation to man, then we might reject infant 
baptism. But this is not so. God, in baptism, 
places Himself in a relation to the subject, re- 
ceives the subject until it become a part of the 
organism of grace in its subjective and object- 
ive force, and is recognized as a member of the 
church of Christ. Now the falsity of the posi- 
tion assumed by the enemies of infant baptism 
lies just here, that only the subjective side of 
baptism is held up, while its objective, sacra- 
mental character is left altogether out of view. 
It reverses the relative positions of faith and bap- 



120 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



tism, making the former to take the place of the 
latter, and holding that any one dissociated with 
the church, can receive and exercise a true liv- 
ing faith, which overthrows the very idea of the 
church itself. It makes faith first, baptism sec- 
ond, entering the church third ; whereas baptism 
comes before the conscious faith of the subject. . 
If so, then why object to infant baptism? 

Baptism is that sacrament by means of which 
the order of divine grace is continued. It gen- 
erates faith, and its development is from authori- 
tative, to free, personal faith. " What the per- 
sonal election of Christ was to the first circle 
of disciples, that baptism is for the successive 
church, the divine fact through which Christ 
gives to His church its true and eternal begin- 
ning in the individual." If so, then is it not 
plain that baptism goes before the self-conscious 
faith of the subject? And if this church-found- 
ing sacrament brings your child into a living and 
saving relation to the church, then why deny it 
that baptism ? Dare you reverse the divine pro- 
cedure which God has ordained for the salvation 
of His people? And if Christ is related to the 
individual only through the general ; if He is re- 
lated to the members only through the body, and 
having fellowship with them only as the Head of 
that body, then is it not plain that your children, 
in order to come to Him as such, to be incorpo- 
rated with Him and related to Him in a saving 
way, must come to Him through the church, — 
must become a member of it, and that too in the 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



121 



manner and through the medium He has pre- 
scribed, viz., baptism ? 

He who, for the reason, therefore, that children 
can have no self-conscious faith, refuses to have 
them baptized, but exposes his ignorance of the 
divine procedure of grace as developed in the 
church, of the true moral relation between par- 
ent and child, and of the scripture idea of the 
Christian home. Why not for the very same rea- 
son refuse to teach them, to have them pray, to 
bring them up to church service ? Yea, why not 
deny to them salvation itself? For the very same 
reason for which you reject infant baptism, you 
must also reject infant salvation ; for faith is held 
up in the "Word of God as a qualification for sal- 
vation with mqre emphasis than as a qualification 
for baptism. Hence if you say that infants can- 
not be baptized because incapable of faith, you 
must also say, by a parity of reasoning, that in- 
fants cannot be saved, because incapable of faith. 

This is a dilemma, and to avoid it, some ene- 
mies to infant baptism have even confessed that 
they see no hope for the salvation of children. 
Thus Dr. Alexander Carson says, "The gospel 
has nothing to do with infants. It is good news, 
but to infants it is no news at all. None can 
be saved by the gospel who do not believe it ! 
Consequently by the gospel no infants can be 
saved!" But if out of Christ there is no sal- 
vation, then tell me, how will infants be saved? 
We have no answer from these enemies, yea, 
there is no answer! 
6 



122 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Christian parents! what think you of this? 
When bending over the grave of a beloved child, 
with the cherished hope of meeting it in heaven, 
how would such intelligence as this startle you 
from your dream of reunion there, and cast a deep 
pall of desolation around your sorrowing hearts ? 
Does not the parent's faith forbid the intrusion of 
a doctrine so revolting as this ? Though you have 
been in your home, the divinely appointed repre- 
sentative of your child, and in its baptism exer- 
cised faith in its behalf, on the ground of those 
natural and moral relations which the Lord has 
constituted between you and your child, yet in 
this startling dogma of the enemies of its bap- 
tism, you find a virtual denial of the existence of 
such moral relations and parental vicarage ; yea, 
a denial of parental stewardship and of the reli- 
gious ministry of the Christian home. The revul- 
sion with which the Christian heart receives such 
a denial of infant baptism is at least a presump- 
tive evidence against it. But we think enough 
has been said to lay the foundation of some prac- 
tical comments upon the subject of Christian bap- 
tism. 

If it is a fact that infants are proper subjects of 
baptism, then it is the duty of Christian parents 
to have them baptized. It is not only a duty, but 
a delightful privilege, to consecrate them to God 
in a perpetual covenant never to be forgotten, 
regarding them as the members of the kingdom 
of Christ, and so called to be God's children by 
adoption and grace. 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



123 



Their baptism involves many parental duties 
and responsibilities. If it is both a sign and a 
seal of the covenant of grace, and a means of 
grace, so that the parent's faith, in their baptism, 
places the child in covenant relation to the Incar- 
nate Word, through the life-giving Spirit, then it 
is plain that the parent is bound to secure for the 
child those blessings which that baptism contem- 
plates, and which hang upon the exercise of a re- 
ceiving faith. This sacrament gives the child a 
churchly claim upon parental interposition in its 
behalf, in all things pertaining to its spiritual cul- 
ture, — in a true religious training, in a proper 
direction in the use of the means of grace, in 
a holy Christian example. Here it is the par- 
ent's duty to represent the church, to act for the 
church in religious ministrations to the child, to 
be the steward of the church in the Christian 
home, to rear up the child for a responsible mem- 
bership. 

No parent, therefore, who neglects the baptism 
of the child, can have "the answer of a good con- 
science towards God." If we are satisfied to have 
our homes separate from the church ; if we are 
satisfied with individualistic, disembodied, unas- 
sociated Christianity, — a religion that owns no 
church, but which has its origin, root and ma- 
turity in the self-conscious activity of the indi- 
vidual, we may then neglect this duty. But in 
doing so, to be consistent, we must also discard the 
sister ordinance of the Lord's supper, yea, all the 
churchly means of grace; yea, the church itself;' 



124 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

for why repudiate one ordinance, — one idea of 
associated Christianity, and not all the others ? 

That baptism is greatly abused and neglected, 
none will deny. It is often abused by neglect of 
the proper time of its administration. The earli- 
est period of infancy is the proper time ; for then 
there will be a proper correspondence in time 
between the dedication and the baptism. In this 
we have an example from Jewish circumcision. 
The pious Jew took the infant when it was but 
eight days old, and had it circumcised. But 
many Christian parents defer the baptism of 
their children until late childhood, while their 
vows of dedication are left in mere naked feeling 
and resolution, having no sacramental force and 
expression ; and as a consequence will grow cold 
and indifferent. "When parents thus delay hav- 
ing their children brought within the fold of G-od 
and the bosom of the church, they presume to be 
wiser than God, and oppose their own weak 
reason to His word and promises. 

Baptism is often abused, also, by being used 
as a mere habit, an unmeaning form, without a 
proper sense of its significance, importance, du- 
ties and responsibilities. It is administered be- 
cause others do the same, — because customary 
among most church members, and because per- 
haps it looks like an adherence to the outward 
of Christianity and the church at least. When 
they have thus obeyed the law of habit, and gird- 
ed themselves with the formula of parental duty, 
they feel they have done enough ; and perhaps 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



125 



neither their children nor the vows they as- 
sumed at their baptism ever after recur to them 
as objects of specific duty. 

But we would remind such parents, that habit 
is not always duty, and our adherence to habit 
does not prove our sincerity and the truthfulness 
of our purpose. It does not always imply "the 
answer of a good conscience towards God." If 
having our children baptized is simple obedience 
to the law of habit, it is not the performance of 
a parental duty, but the abuse of a blessed priv- 
ilege ; there is in it all no living churchly expres- 
sion of willing vows. In this way we only reach 
its outward form, and we do that, not because of 
its inherent worth, not because of a duty and 
privilege ; but because we desire to cope with 
others, and decorate our religion in the popular 
dress of other people's habits. 

Baptism is also abused by mistaking the ob- 
ject and design of its administration. Why do 
many parents have their children baptized ? Be- 
cause they wish to express their vows of dedica- 
tion in that sacramental form and way which 
God has appointed? Because they desire to 
bring them into the fold and bosom of the 
church, and place them in saving relations to 
the means of grace ? Alas, no ! but too often 
because they make their baptism the mere oc- 
casion of giving them, in a formal, public way, 
their Christian names. They christen their 
children to give them a name ; and often with 
them this holy sacrament is as empty as the 



126 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



name. Their baptism, in their view, is but the 
sealing and confirming the name they had before 
chosen for the child ; and when this is done they 
have no more thought of the baptism. "With 
them the baptism of their children is the ordi- 
nance of name-giving. Before it takes place 
they are busied about getting a name from the 
most approved and fashionable novels of the 
day. This takes the place of dedication. Their 
prior thoughts are all absorbed in getting a 
strange, new-fangled name, — such an one as will 
carry you away by association to some love-sick 
tale, or remind you of the burning of Rome, or 
some other deed which has disgraced humanity. 
And then as soon as this is done, they fix upon 
some auspicious occasion when either in the 
church or in the presence of a select company 
at home, (for children cry now-a-days too much 
to bring them to church) they have their pastor 
to baptize them. 

Perhaps a great feast is prepared; godfathers 
and godmothers (if they have the warrant of 
some valuable presents) are chosen; and then 
in all the glare and parade of fashion, they have 
the ordinance administered. And what then is 
the first joyful cry of the fond parents, after the 
solemn ceremony is ended? Why "now, dear, 
you have your name!" And this is the end, — - 
yes, the finale of the vows there made before 
G-od, — the end of all until God shall call them 
to account ! 

It requires but very little discrimination to see 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



127 



that in all this the nature, design, and obligations 
of Christian baptism are left totally out of view. 
They do not here appreciate this ordinance as a 
channel for the communication of God's grace to 
their children. When baptized they do not 4 re- 
gard them as having been received into gracious 
relation to God, as plants in the Lord's vineyard, 
as having put on Christ, and as having their in- 
grafting into Him not only signified but sealed. 
Thus being undervalued, it is, as a consequence, 
abused and neglected. 

The great neglect of Christian baptism is doubt- 
less owing to the low, unscriptural views of its 
nature and practical importance ; for if they real- 
ized its relations to the plan of salvation, and its 
office in the appropriation of that salvation to 
their children, they would not permit them to 
grow up unbaptized, neither would they be rec- 
reant to the solemn duties which are binding 
upon the parent after its administration. But 
upon the subject of baptism itself, we have seen 
that there is great laxity of feeling and opinion. 

The spirit of our fathers upon this point is be- 
coming so diluted that we can scarcely discern 
any longer a vestige of the good old landmarks 
of their sacramental character. Instead of walk- 
ing in them, Christians are now falling a prey to a 
latitudinarian spirit of the most destructive kind. 
They are, in leaving these old landmarks, falling 
into the clutches of rationalism and radicalism, 
which will ere long leave their homes and their 
church 



128 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



" A wreck at random driven, 
Without one glimpse of reason or of heaven !" 

Even ministers themselves seem to grow indif- 
ferent to this wide-spread and growing evil. They 
hardly ever utter a word of warning from the pul- 
pit against it. Their members may be known by 
them to neglect the baptism of their children ; and 
yet by their silence they wink at this dereliction ; 
and when they have occasion to speak of this ordi- 
nance, many advert to it as a mere sign, as some- 
thing only outward, not communicating an in- 
visible grace, not as a seal of the new covenant, 
ingrafting into Christ. E"o wonder when this 
holy sacrament is thus disparagingly spoken of, 
that Christian parents will neglect it practically, 
as a redundancy in the church, — as a tradition 
coming in its last wailing cry from ages and forms 
departed, — as a church rite marked obsolete, as 
an old ceremonial savoring of old Jewish shackles, 
embodying no substantial grace, and unfit for this 
age of railroad progression and gospel libertinism. 

"Will any one deny the extent of such a spirit in 
the church and homes of the present day ? Let 
him refer to church statistics, where he may re- 
ceive some idea of the magnitude of this evil. In 
them we can see the extent to which parents have 
neglected the baptism of their children. We take 
from a note in the " Mercersburg Review" the 
following statistical items: "The presbytery of 
Londonderry reports but one baptism to sixty-four 
communicants ; the presbytery of Buffalo city, the 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



129 



same ; the presbytery of Rochester city, one to 
forty-six ; the presbytery of Michigan, one to 
seventy-seven ; the presbytery of Columbus, one 
to thirty. In the presbytery of New Brunswick, 
there are three churches which report thus : one 
reports three hundred and forty-three communi- 
cants, aud three baptisms ; another reports three 
hundred and forty communicants, and two bap- 
tisms. In Philadelphia, one church reports three 
hundred and three communicants, and seven bap- 
tisms ; another, two hundred and eighty-seven 
communicants, and one baptism." 

These statistics speak volumes. They tell us 
how Christian parents neglect the baptism of 
their children, and also how the church winks 
at it. And from this neglect we can easily infer 
their indifference to it. If we refer to the sta- 
tistics of all other churches, we shall witness a 
similar neglect. No branch of the church now 
is free from the imputation of such neglect. It 
is now difficult indeed, to induce parents to have 
their children baptized, because they think it is 
no use! u Let them wait," say they, "till they 
grow up, and then they will know more about 
it !." This shows us where the parent stands, 
viz., in an unchurchly state, and radical to the 
very core. It shows us what that influence is, 
which is at work upon his mind. "He will 
know more about it !" — -just as if that in religion 
is worthless until we know all about it. Bap- 
tism then is not worth anything until the child 
understands all about it ! In that parental utter- 
*6 



130 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ance we hear the wildest shout of triumphant 
rationalism ! 

But again, baptism is often abused by parental 
unfaithfulness to its obligations. In the baptism 
of their children, parents solemnly vow to bring 
them up in the nurture of the Lord, to train 
them up in His holy ways, to teach them by 
precept and example, to pray for them and teach 
them the privilege of prayer. And yet how 
grossly are these solemn vows left unperformed, 
and even never thought of in all after life ! Per- 
haps the very opposite course is taken even on 
the day of baptism. Parents ! by this you en- 
danger your own souls as well as the souls of 
your children. How will the memory of such 
neglected duty and privilege sink with deepen- 
ing anguish in your souls, when you shall be 
called hence to answer to God for your parental 
stewardship ! Be not deceived ; God is not 
mocked ; neither will he hold you guiltless when 
you thus outrage His holy sacrament. 

Baptism is often abused by the unfaithfulness 
of children to its privileges, influences and bless- 
ings. Many children fight against these, prevent 
parents from performing their duties, and repel 
all the overtures of the Christian home, all the 
offers of the Spirit's baptism, abandoning the 
means of grace, refusing to assume the baptismal 
engagement taken for them by their parents; 
and thus, so far as they are concerned, undo and 
neutralize what their parents did for them. Oh, 
ye baptized children, — ye to whom the holy min- 



CHRISTIAN BAPTISM. 



131 



istry of home lias been faithfully applied, — know 
ye not that the frowns of abused heaven are upon 
you, and that the memory of your rebellion 
against the prerogatives of the family, will con- 
stitute an ingredient in your cup of woe ? The 
privilege of baptism lays you under solemn req- 
uisition. If unfaithful to it, it will be your con- 
demnation, and add new fuel to the flame of a 
burning conscience. 

Parents and children ! be faithful to this holy 
ordinance of God. It is a solemn service. You 
should approach the baptismal font with a trem- 
bling step and a consecrated heart. And what 
a solemn moment it is, when you take your child 
away from that altar ! There you gave it up to 
God, — dedicated it to His service ; and there in 
turn He commits it to you in trust, saying to you 
as Pharaoh's daughter said to the mother of Mo- 
ses, " Take this child and nurse it for me, and I 
will pay thee thy wages," and you bore it away, 
as did that faithful mother, to bring it up for 
God. There you solemnly promised that in 
training that child, the will of God should be 
your will, and the law of all your conduct 
towards it. You can never forget that solemn 
transaction, and how you there vowed before 
witnessing men and angels that you would be 
faithful to the little one God has given you. 
What now has been the result? Eternity will 
answer. 



CHAPTER XII. 



CHRISTIAN NAMES. 

" She named the child Ichabod." — 1 Samuel. 

" Thus was the building left 
Ridiculous, and the work confusion named." 

Christian baptism suggests Christian names. 
This introduces us to an important topic, viz., the 
kind of names Christian parents should give to 
their children at their baptism. Baptismal names 
are indeed an important item of the Christian 
home. Much more depends upon them than we 
are at first sight of the subject, disposed to grant. 

Christianity eminently includes the great law 
of correspondence between its inward spirit and 
its outward form. Its form and contents cannot 
be separated. The principle of fitness, it every- 
where exhibits; and hence its nomenclature is 
the herald of its spirit and truth. The names 
that religion has given to her followers signify 
some principle of association between them. 
They were adopted to designate some fact in 



CHRISTIAN NAMES. 



133 



the history of the individual, or in his relation 
to the church. Hence the names adopted for 
the children of the Christian home should be 
the utterance of some fact or calling which be- 
longs to that home. Their name is one of the 
first things which children know, and hence it 
makes a deep impression upon them. And as 
our Christian names are given to us at the time 
of our baptism, one would think that there is 
always a correspondence between the name and 
some fact or interest connected with the occasion. 
We should then receive a Christian name, a name 
wV.ch does not bind us by the laws of association 
to what is evil either in the past or the present, 
but which indicates a relation to some precious 
boon involved in the dedication of the child to 
God. 

Is this always so ? By no means. It once was. 
It was so in the Hebrew home and in the families 
of the apostolic age. But in this day of parental 
rage after new-fangled things and names, taken 
from works of fiction and novels of doubtful 
character, we find that parents care but very 
little about the baptismal name being the herald 
of a religious fact. "What is in a name?" was 
a question propounded by a poet. His answer 
was " nothing !" 

" That which we call a rose 
By any other name would smell as sweet." 

The principle here evolved is false. There is 
much in a name ; and at the creation names were 



134 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



not mechanically given to things ; but there was 
a vital correspondence between the name and the 

'thing named. Much depends upon the name. 
It exerts a potent influence for good or for evil 
upon the bearer and upon all around him. 

Primarily, a name supposed some correspond- 

' ence between its meaning and the person who 
bore it. Hence the name should not be arbitrary 
in its application, but should " link its fitness to 
idea," and with the person, run in parallel courses. 

" For mind is apt and quick to wed ideas and names together, 
Nor stoppeth its perceptions to be curious of priorities." 

Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, felt that 
practically there was much in a name, when he 
heathenized the names of the young Hebrew cap- 
tives. By this he thought to detach them from 
their Hebrew associations. God was in each of 
their original names, and in this way they were 
reminded of their religion. But the names this 
Chaldee king gave them were either social or al- 
luded to the idolatry of Babylon. Their Hebrew 
names were to them witnesses for G-od, men^n- 
toes of the faith of their fathers ; hence the king, 
to destroy their influence, called Daniel, Belte- 
shazzar, i. e. "the treasurer of the god Bel;" 
Hannaniah he called Shadrach, i. e. "the mes- 
senger of the king ;" Mishael he called Me- 
shach, i. e. "the devotee of the goddess She- 
sach." He showed his cunning in this, and a 
historical testimony to the potent influence of a 
name. 



CHRISTIAN NAMES. 



136 



By this same rale of correspondence, Adam 
doubtless named, by order of bis Creator, tbe 
things of nature as they struck his senses. 

" He specified the partridge by her cry, and the forest prowler 
by his roving, 

The tree by its use, and the flower by its beauty, and every- 
thing according to its truth." 

The Hebrews obeyed the same law in naming 
their children. With them there was a sacred 
importance attached to the giving of a name. 
For every chosen name they had a reason which 
involved the person's life, character or destiny. 
Adam named the companion of his bosom, " wo- 
man because she was taken out of man." He 
called "his wife's name Eve, because she was 
the mother of all living." Eve called her first- 
born Cain (possession) "because I have gotten 
a man from the Lord." She called another son 
Seth (appointed,) "for God hath appointed me 
another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew." 
Samuel was so named because he was "asked 
of and sent to God." God Himself often gave 
names to His people ; and each name thus given, 
conveyed a promise, or taught some rule of life, 
or bore some divine memorial, or indicated some 
calling of the person named. Says Dr. Krum- 
macher on this point: "Names were to the peo- 
ple like memoranda, and like the bells on the 
garments of the priests, reminding them of the 
Lord and. His government, and furnishing matter 
for a variety of salutary reflections. To the re- 



136 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ceivers of them they ministered consolation and 
strength, warning and enconragement ; and to 
others they served to attract the attention and 
heart of G-od." This was right, and fully ac- 
corded with the economy of the Hebrew home, 
and with the conception of language itself. 

"Would that the Christian home followed her 
pious example ! But Christians now are too 
much under the influence of irreligious fashion. 
Instead of giving their children those good old re- 
ligious names which their fathers bore, »nd which 
are endeared to us by many hallowed associations, 
they now repudiate them with a sneer as too vul- 
gar and tasteless. They are out of fashion, too 
common, don't lead us into a labyrinth of love- 
scrapes and scenes of refined iniquity, and are 
now only fit for a servant. 

Hence instead of resorting to the bible for a 
name, these sentimental parents will pore over 
filthy novels, or catch at some foreign accent, 
to get a name which may have a fashionable 
sound, and a claim upon the prevailing taste of 
the times, and which may remind one of the 
battles of some ambitious general, or of the 
adventures of some love-sick swain, or of the 
tragic deeds of some fashionable libertine ! 

And when such a name is found to suit the ear 
of fashion and of folly, it is applied to the child, 
and reiterated by the minister before the baptis- 
mal font ; and as often as it is afterwards repeated 
it reminds one perhaps of deeds which put mod- 
esty to blush, and startle the ear of justice and 



CHRISTIAN NAMES. 



137 



humanity. "What a burning shame is this to the 
Christian home ! The child who is cursed with 
such a name has ever before him the memoran- 
dum of his parent's folly, and as a recognized ex- 
ample, the character of him after whom he has 
been named. As often as he is hailed by it, he 
blushes to think that he has been called by pious 
parents after one who, perhaps, has turned many 
a home into desolation, and disgraced and blighted 
forever the fond hopes and joys of the young and 
old. 

Have thoughts and associations like these no 
demoralizing influence ? How can parents ad- 
monish their children against novel reading after 
they have taken their names from novels ? The 
giving of Christian names at the present time is 
indeed a ridiculous farce, an insult to Christianity, 
and a representation of stoical infidelity before the 
baptismal altar. It is there an act of the Babylo- 
nish king to heathenize the child. We might 
almost say that the folly has become a rage. The 
rage for new names especially, — names which do 
not adorn the sacred page, nor carry us back to 
the times and faith of our fathers, but which have 
gained notoriety in the world of fiction, and asso- 
ciate us with the lover's affrays and with the des- 
perado's feats, — these are the names which Chris- 
tian parents too often seek with avidity for their 
children. If you were to judge their homes by 
these names, you would think yourself in a Turk- 
ish seraglio, or amid the voluptuous scenes of a 
Parisian court, or in the bosom of a heathen fam- 



138 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ily. What, for instance, is there about such names 
as Nero, Csesar, Pompey, Punch, that would re- 
mind you that you were in a Christian home ? 

It is often disgusting, too, to see how some 
Christian parents, who live in humble life, seek 
to ape, in their children, the empty sounding titles 
of the world. They only show their vanity and 
weakness, and often bring ridicule upon their chil- 
dren; for — 

" To lend the low-born noble names, is to shed upon them 

ridicule and evil ; 
Yea, many weeds run rank in pride, if men have dubbed 

them cedars, 

And to herald common mediocrity avith the noisy notes of 
fame, 

Tendeth to its deeper scorn, as if it were to call the mole a 
mammoth." 

"When we thus give our children names associated 
with battle-fields, empty titles, brilliant honors, 
and lucrative offices, — positions in life which they 
can never expect to reach, and which, if they did, 
would not do honor to the child of a Christian 
family, we do them great injury; we fasten in 
them feelings the most disastrous, and draw out 
propensities unbecoming the child devoted to the 
Lord, breeding in his soul a peevish repining at 
his station. Alas ! that Christian homes should 
ever become so servile in their devotions to the 
rotten sentiments and flims}^ interests of mis- 
guided and perverted fashion ! Her smile in 
your home is that of a harlot ; her touch is the 



CHRISTIAN NAMES. 



139 



withering blight of corruption ; her dominion is 
the desolation of family hopes and the extermina- 
tion of those sacred prerogatives with which the 
Lord has invested the Christian fireside. The ball 
will take the place of prayer ; novels will take the 
place of the bible ; favorites will take the place 
of husbands and wives ; and the children will re- 
gard their parents only as their masters. 

Christian parents should, therefore, give suita- 
ble names to their children, that is, such names as 
will correspond with their state, character and re- 
lations to God, — names which do not suggest the 
idea of war, rapine, humbug, romance, and sen- 
suality, but which are associated with the Chris- 
tian life and calling, and which serve as a true 
index to the spirit and character of the parental 
fireside. Reason, as well as faith, will dictate such 
a choice ; for 

" There is wisdom in calling a thing fitly ; names should note 
particulars 

Through a character obvious to all men, and worthy of their 
instant acceptation." 

Our name is the first and the last possession at 
our disposal. It determines from the days of 
childhood our inclinations. It employs our at- 
tention through life, and even transports us be- 
yond the grave. Hence we should give appro- 
priate names to our children, — such as will inter- 
est them, and neither be a reproach, on the one 
hand, nor reach to unattainable and unworthy 
heights, on the other ; for the mind of your 



140 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



child will take a bias, from its name, to good 
or to evil. 

Why not adopt scriptural names for them ? 
Are they not as beautiful as other names ? They 
are. And is not their influence as salutary ? It 
is. And are they not more suitable for the Chris- 
tian home than any other ? They are. Where 
is there a more lovely name than Mary, — lovely 
in its utterance, and thrice lovelv in the glow- 
ing memories which cluster around it, and in 
the hallowed home-associations it awakens in 
the Christian heart, drawing us at once to the 
feet of Jesus, where a Mary sat in confiding 
pupilage, and sealed her instructions and grati- 
tude with the tear-drop that glowed like early 
dew upon her dimpled cheek ? Would Chris- 
tian parents desire to give their children more 
beautiful names, — beautiful in the light of his- 
tory and of heaven, — than that of Benjamin, 
s 4 son of the right hand;" of David, "dear, be- 
loved;" of Dionysius, "divinely touched;" of 
Eleazar, "help of God;" of Eli, "my offer- 
ing;", of Enoch, "dedicated;" of Jacob, "my 
present ;" of Lemuel, " God is with them ;" 
of Nathan, "given, gift;" of Nathaniel, "gift 
of God;" of Samuel, "asked of God and sent 
of God," &c? 

Besides, there are names of distinguished 
Christians, such as Wilberforce, Howard, Page, 
Martyn, Paul, Peter, John, Fenelon, Clement, 
Baxter, &c, — bright as dew-drops on the page 
of history, and as beautiful in their enunciation 



CHRISTIAN NAMES, 



141 



as any chosen from the world of heartless fashion, 
— as beautiful in sound, and infinitely more so in 
associations which bind them to deeds of human- 
ity and Christian love. The utterance of such 
names would be more becoming the Christian 
home ; because they aid in developing the purest, 
holiest and loftiest idea of its nature and calling. 
Such names will bind your little ones to pure and 
holy persons and deeds, and will suit the book of 
life in which you hope to have them enrolled. 

" Then, safe within a better home, where time and its titles 
are not found, 

God will give thee His new name, and write it on thy heart ; 
A name, better than of sons, a name dearer than of daughters, 
A name of union, peace and praise, as numbered in thy Grod." 



CHAPTER XIII. 

HOME AS A NURSERY. 

" The Ostrich, silliest of the feathered kind, 
And formed of God without a parent's mind, 
Commits her eggs, incautious, to the dust, 
Forgetful that the foot may crush the trust ; 
And, while on public nurseries they rely, 
Not knowing, and too oft not caring why, 
Irrational in what they thus prefer 
No few, that would seem wise, resemble her." 

To nurse means to educate or draw out and 
direct what exists in a state of mere involution. 
It means to protect, to foster, to supply with 
appropriate food, to cause to grow or promote 
* growth, to manage with a view to increase. Thus 
Greece was the nurse of the liberal arts ; Rome 
was the nurse of law. In horticulture, a shrub 
©r .tree is the nurse or protector of a young and 
tender plant. We are said to nurse our nation- 
al resources. Isaiah, in speaking of the coming 
Messiah and the glory of his church, says, " Thy 
daughters shall be nursed at thy side." " Kings 



AS A NURSERY. 



143 



shall be thy nursing fathers, and their queens thy 
nursing mothers." 

The place or apartment appropriated to such 
nursing is called a nursery. Thus a plantation 
of young trees is called a nursery. Shakspeare 
calls Padua the nursery of arts. We call a very 
bad place the nursery of thieves and rogues. 
Dram-shops are the nurseries of intemperance. 
Commerce is called the nursery of seamen. Uni- 
versities are the nurseries of the arts and sciences. 
The church on earth is called the nursery of the 
church in heaven. Christian families are called 
the nurseries of the church on earth, because in 
the former its members are nursed and propaga- 
ted for the purpose of being transplanted into the 
latter. 

In the same sense and for the same reason, the 
Christian home is the nursery of the young, — of 
human nature in its normal state. And as home 
is the nursery of the state as well as of the 
church on earth and in heaven, we must see that 
it is a physical, intellectual and religious nursery. 
We shall briefly consider it in these aspects. In- 
deed the Christian home cannot be considered in 
a more interesting and responsible light. The 
little child, dedicated to God in holy baptism, is 
entirely helpless and dependent upon the min- 
istrations of the nursery. There is the depart- 
ment of its first impressions, of its first direc- 
tions, of its first intellectual and moral forma- 
tion, of the first evolution of physical and moral 
life. There the child exists as but the germ of 



144 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



what is to be. It grows up under the fostering 
care and plastic power of the parents.. G-od's 
commission to them in the nursery is, to bring 
up these germs of life, in His nurture and ad- 
monition." 

" Take the germ, and make it 

A bud of moral beauty. Let the dews 
Of knowledge, and the light of virtue, wake it 
In richest fragrance and in purest hues." 

The nursery is the department of home in 
which the mother fulfils her peculiar mission. 
This is her special sphere. None can effectually 
take her place there. She is the center of at- 
traction, t^e guardian of the infant's destiny; 
and none like she, can overrule the unfolding 
life and character of the child. God has fitted 
her for the work of the nursery. Here she 
reigns supreme, the arbitress of the everlast- 
ing weal or woe of untutored infancy. On her 
the fairest hopes of educated man depend, and 
in the exercise of her power there, she sways a 
nation's destiny, gives to the infant body and 
soul their beauty, their bias and their direction. 
She there possesses the immense force of first 
impressions. The soul of her child lies unveiled 
before her, and she makes the stamp of her own 
spirit and personality upon its pliable nature. 
She there engrafts it, as it were, into her own 
being, and from the combined elements of her 
own character, builds up and establishes the 



AS A NURSERY. 



145 



character of her offspring. Hers will, therefore, 
be the glory or the shame. 

" Then take the heart thy charms have won, 
And nurse it for the skies." 

The nursery is that department of home in 
which the formation of our character is begun. 
Infancy demands the nursery. It is not full- 
formed and equipped for the battle of life. It 
lies in the cradle in a state of mere involution, 
and in the hands of its parents is altogether pas- 
sive, and susceptible of impressions as wax be- 
fore the sun. The germ of the man is there ; 
but it has yet to be developed. Its indwelling 
life must be nurtured with tender and assiduous 
care. It demands an influence suited to the ex- 
pansion of its nature into bloom and maturity. 
It demands physical development, mental evolu- 
tion, moral training, and spiritual elevation. In 
order to these it must live amidst the sweet and 
plastic socialities of maternal relationship. It 
must come under the fostering influence of a 
mother's heart, and be reared up by the tender 
touches of a mother's hand. This idea is embod- 
ied in home as a nursery. This is fourfold in its 
conception and relation to the child. 

The nursery is physical. This involves the 
means of keeping the child in health, and the 
appliances of a vigorous physical development. 
The Christian mother, to this end, should make 
herself acquainted with the physiology of the 
infant body. Many well-meaning mothers, from 
7 



146 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



sheer ignorance, destroy the health of their chil- 
dren ; and it is on this account perhaps that four- 
tenths of them die under five years of age. They 
should also consider the bearing of the body 
upon the mind and morals of their children. 
How often do ignorant and indolent parents, by 
giving their children over to the care of sickly 
and immoral nurses, ruin forever the health and 
souls of their offspring. Much, then, depends 
upon the physical nurture of your child. If you 
would not injure its mind and soul, you must 
nurse its body with tender care and wisdom. A 
vital bond unites them ; they reciprocally influ- 
ence each other, and hence what affects the one 
must have a corresponding influence upon the 
other. Neglect the body of your child ; destroy 
its health either by extreme and fastidious care, 
or by a brutal neglect, and you at the same time 
do lasting injury to its mind and morals ; for the 
body as the vehicle of mind and spirit, is used for 
spiritual ends, and should, therefore, be nurtured 
with direct reference to these. 

Your child, in the nursery, is like the tender 
plant. The storm of passion and the chill of in- 
difference and the oppression of parental tyranny 
should not be heard and felt there ; for where the 
storm rages and coldness freezes and the hand 
of cruelty oppresses, we can have no beautiful 
and vigorous development of physical or moral 
powers. There will be a stinted and one-sided 
growth. At best it will be dwarfish, and tend to 
counteract the spontaneous outflow of mental 



AS A NURSERY. 



147 



and moral life. The tender plant, when, cramped 
and clogged by existing impediments, cannot 
spring np into beauteous maturity. Neither can 
your child, when crammed with sweetmeats, and 
oppressed and screwed into monstrous contortions 
by the cruel inquisition of fashion and fashion- 
able garments. 

In this way the misdirected love and cruel 
pride of mothers often destroy the health and 
beauty of their children. They cause a sickly 
and dwarfish growth by too much confinement 
and mental taxation, by a too rigid choice of diet, 
by daily, uncalled for decoctions of medicine, and 
by fitting the body in a dress as the Chinese do 
their children's feet in shoes ; in a word, by mak- 
ing the entire nursery life too artificial, and sub- 
stituting the laws of art for those of nature. The 
result must be a delicate, artificial constitution, 
too fragile for the trials and duties of life. The 
body of your child has not the blooming, blush- 
ing form of nature, but the cold marble cast of a 
statue; and it imprints itself upon the disposi- 
tion, the spirit, the mental faculties. It shows 
itself in peevishness, in imbecility, in such a pas- 
sive, slavish subjection to the rules and interests 
of mere artificial life, as to admit no hope almost 
of spiritual progression. 

The nursery is also intellectual. The mind of 
your child is unfolding as well as its body ; and 
hence the former, as well as the latter, demands 
the nursery. How much of the mental vigor 
and attainments of children depend upon the 



148 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



prudent management of the nursery. Hence 

parents should 

" Exert a prudent care 
To feed our infant minds with proper fare ; 
And wisely store the nursery by degrees 
With wholesome learning, yet acquired with ease. 
And thus well-tutored only while we share 
A mother's lectures and a nurse's care." 

Parents may abuse the minds of their children 
in the nursery, either by total neglect, or by im- 
mature education, by too early training and too 
close confinement to books at a very early age, 
thus taxing the mind beyond its capacities. This 
is often the case when children betray great pre- 
cocity of intellect; and the pride of the parent 
seeks to gratify itself through the supposed gift 
of the child. In this way parents often reduce 
their children to hopeless mental imbecility. 

Again, parents often injure the minds of their 
children by their misguided efforts to train the 
mind. Even in training them to speak, how im- 
prudent they are in calling words and giving 
ideas in mutilated language. It is just as easy to 
teach children to speak correctly, and to call all 
things by their proper names, as to abuse their 
vernacular tongue. Such mutilations are imped- 
iments to the growth of the intellect. The child 
must afterwards be taught to undo what it was 
taught to do and say in the nursery. But as this 
subject will be fully considered in the chapter on 
Home Education, we shall refrain from further 
comment here. 



AS A NURSERY. 



149 



The nursery is moral and spiritual. The first 
moral and religious training of the child belongs 
to the nursery, and is the work of the mother. 
Upon her personal exhibition of truth, justice, 
virtue, &c, depends the same moral elements in 
the character of her child. In the nursery we 
receive our first lessons in virtue or in vice, in 
honesty or dishonesty, in truth or in falsehood, in 
purity or in corruption. The full-grown man is 
the matured child morally as well as physically 
and intellectually. The same may be said of 
the spiritual formation and growth of the child. 
Spiritual culture belongs eminently to the nurs- 
ery. There the pious parent should begin the 
work of her child's salvation. 

From what we have now seen of the nursery, 
we may infer its very common abuse by Christian 
parents in various ways. They abuse it either by 
forsaking its duties, or giving it over to nurses. 
The whole subject warns parents against giving 
over their children to dissolute nurses. "What a 
blushing shame and disgrace to the very name of 
Christian mother, it is for her to throw the whole 
care and responsibility of the nursery upon hired 
and irreligious servants. And why is this so 
often done ? To relieve the mother from the 
trouble of her children, and afford her time and 
opportunity to mingle unfettered in the giddy 
whirl of fashionable dissipation. In circles of 
opulent society it would now be considered a 
drudgery and a disgrace for mothers to attend 
upon the duties of this responsible department 



150 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of home. But the nurse cannot be a substitute 
for the mother. 

" Then why resign into a stranger's hand 
A task so much within your own command, 
That God and Nature, and your interest too 
Seem with one voice to delegate to you ?" 

The same may 'be said of boarding schools, to 
which many parents send their children to rid 
themselves of the trouble of training them up. 
They are sent there at the very age in which they 
mostly need the fostering care of a parent. 
There they soon become alienated from home, 
and lose the benefit of its influence ; and there 
too they often contract habits and are filled with 
sentiments the most degenerating and corrupt. 
They grow up and enter society without any con- 
scious relation to home, and as a consequence, re- 
gard society as a mere heartless conventionalism. 
To this part of the subject we shall, in another 
chapter, devote special attention. It demands 
the prayerful consideration of Christian parents. 

" Why hire a lodging in a house unknown, 

For one whose tenderest thoughts all hover round your own ? 

This second weaning, needless as it is, 

How does it lacerate both your heart and his 1" 



CHAPTER XIV. 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 

" Sweet sensibility ! thou keen delight ! 
Unprompted moral ! sudden sense of right ! 
Perception exquisite ! fair virtue's seed ! 
Thou quick precursor of the liberal deed ! 
Thou hasty conscience ! reason's blushing morn ! 
Instinctive kindness, ere reflection's born ! 
Prompt sense of equity ! to thee belongs 
The swift redress of unexamined wrongs ! 
Eager to serve, the cause perhaps untried, 
But always apt to choose the suffering side !" 

Where shall we find a more exquisite picture 
of home-sympathy than this, from the pen of that 
truly pious woman, Hannah More! We con- 
sider the home-sympathy as an argument against 
the neglect and abuse of the nursery. It is the 
instinctive impulse of the parent's heart to be 
faithful to the trust of home. "What mother, 
prompted by such sympathy, can be recreant to 
the duties of her household? Can she, keenly 
sensible to the danger of her children, anxious 



152 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



for their welfare, prompt to do them justice, 
eager to procure them interests and joys, yearn- 
ing to alleviate their misfortunes, push them 
from her arms, and give them over to the care of 
unfeeling and immoral nurses ? If among all the 
members of the Christian home 

" There is a holy tenderness, 
A nameless sympathy, a fountain love, — 
Branched infinite from parents to children, 
From husband to wife, from child to child, 
That binds, supports, and sweetens human life," 

then the law of sympathy is the standard of faith- 
fulness to the loved ones of home, and its viola- 
tion is an abuse of the affections and faith of the 
heart. We shall now consider the natural and 
spiritual sympathy of home. 

What are the natural elements of home-sympa- 
thy ? The original meaning of sympathy is "har- 
mony of the affections." As such it is an instinc- 
tive element of human nature. " Sympathy," 
says Adams in his Elements of Christian Sci- 
ence, "is a natural harmony by which, upon 
matters especially that concern the affections, one 
human being shall, under certain conditions, feel, 
feel in despite of all concealment of language, 
the real state of the other." It is, in a word,' that 
law of our nature which makes the feeling of one 
become affected in the same way as are the feel- 
ings of another, so that, in obedience to this law, 
"we rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep 
with them that weep." In order to this the mo- 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



153 



tive need not be the same in those in whom the 
feeling is the same ; for that feeling engenders a 
feeling of its own kind in the other, independent 
of similar motive. Home-sympathy is that pri- 
mary power of the heart by which all the affec- 
tions of one member are extended to all the other 
members. It awakens in each for all the others, 
those delicate sensibilities which impel to the 
most self-denying and benevolent acts. The par- 
ent who sympathizes with the child, will extend 
to it all the aids within a parent's ability. 

Its nature is to yield more of itself to weeping 
than to rejoicing, to misery than to joy. The 
parent will exert more power and do more for the 
wretched child than for those of his children who 
are not in the same condition. He will leave the 
latter in their security, and seek the one lost 
sheep of his little flock. Thus it exerts a shel- 
tering influence against the dangers and miseries 
of human life. It is the law of home-preserva- 
tion, written upon the heart, obeyed by the af- 
fections, and impelling each member to yield 
a voluntary devotion to the welfare of all the 
others. It is this which, makes it one of the 
most lovely attributes of home. It is one of the 
golden chains that link its members together in 
close unity, making one heart of the many that 
are thus fused together, and blending into beau- 
tiful unison their specific feelings, and hopes and 
interests. 

It is, therefore, the law of oneness in the fam- 
ily, weaving together, like warp and woof, the ex- 
*7 



154 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

istence of the members, and locking each heart 
into one great home-heart, " like the keys of an 
organ vast," so that if one heart be out of tune, 
the home-heart feels the painful jar, and gives* 
forth discordant sounds. By it we are not only 
bound to our kindred, but to our friends, our na- 
tion, our race. It impels us to all our acts of be- 
nevolence even to an enemy. Earth would be a 
dreary scene, and society would be a curse, if it 
did not reign in human nature. 

Sympathy was a rich and interesting theme with 
the ancients. It entered into all their philosophy 
and religion, and gave rise to numerous fables. 
They believed that sympathy was a miraculous 
principle, and that it reigned in irrational and in- 
animate things. Thus they thought that "two 
harps being tuned alike, and one being played, 
the chords of the other would follow the tune 
with a faint, sympathetic music." It was also 
believed that precious stones sympathized with 
certain persons, that the stars sympathized with 
men, that the efficacy of ointment depended upon 
sympathy, that * 6 wounds could be healed at a dis- 
tance by an ointment whose force depended upon 
sympathy, the ointment being smeared upon the 
weapon, not upon the wound." 

Upon this belief many erroneous, supersti- 
tious and dangerous systems of philosophy and 
religion were established. The natural philoso- 
phy of Baptista Porta, or Albertus Magnus, 
was founded upon the principle of sympathy. 
Plato applied this principle to marriage, and 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



155 



maintained that "marriage was the union of 
two sonls that once, in their preexistent state, 
were one, and that sympathy urges them to union 
again, and sends them unconsciously seeking it 
over the world." In the middle ages it was 
maintained that two friends could be so moved 
with mutual sympathy as to have, under certain 
conditions, a true and perfect knowledge of one 
another's state, even when at a great distance 
apart. To the revival of this erroneous view of 
the law of sympathy may be ascribed the theories 
of Mesmerism and spiritual rappings at the pres- 
ent day. 

Home-sympathy, viewed as a feeling and a fac- 
ulty, is twofold in its nature, viz., passive and act- 
ive. As passive, it is the mere sense of harmony 
of feeling among all the members, producing the 
idea and feeling of the oneness of home. It makes 
a unity of affection, so that the temper, hopes paid 
interests of each member have a living echo and 
response in all the others. It gives to home its 
unitive heart, preserves its vital coherence, fuses 
all the hearts together, makes each a thread in 
the web of home-being, where each finds its true 
measure, is inspired with the home-feeling when 
all is right, and oppressed with home-sickness 
when separated from it. 

But home-sympathy is also active. As such 
it is "the active power that one person has natu- 
rally of entering into the feelings of another, and 
being himself affected as that other is." Each 
member of home has the power in his feelings 



156 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of making the feelings of all the other members 
his own, though he may not have the causes of 
the feelings of the one with whom he sympa- 
thizes. Thus one friend may feel the grief of 
another, actually and really, though he may not 
suffer the loss of that friend. He can make the 
emotion which that loss caused, his own. We 
may weep with the mother who pours her floods 
of anguish upon the grave of her child, though 
we may not have sustained the same loss. The 
husband weeps with his wife, though he may 
not be able to feel the pangs which penetrate 
her heart. The child can enter into the feel- 
ings of the parent, and be affected to tears or to 
joy by them. 

And thus the home-sympathy demands that all 
the emotions of home, whether joyful or painful, 
must affect all, — must vibrate from heart to heart. 
It involves the power of home-transference, by 
which each member conveys to his own affec- 
tions, all within home. It is thus the law of 
adaptation and assimilation, for the home-affec- 
tions. In obedience to this law the hearts and 
interests of the members are bound up in beau- 
tiful harmony. The necessities of one are sup- 
plied by:all. It is this which makes the mem- 
bers faithful to each other, and prompts them to 
deeds of disinterested love. 

It is, therefore, only when the home-sympathy, 
as a feeling and a faculty, is carried out and acted 
upon according to its instinctive impulses, that it 
becomes an effective agent of good. This, how- 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



157 



ever, is not always done. Often it is neutralized 
by not being permitted to express itself according 
to the laws of its own operation. Many mem- 
bers have acute feelings and great powers of 
sympathy, but it exists in them only as feeling, 
only as a stimulus, a sentiment, and is, therefore, 
nothing but home-sentimentalism, — a disease of 
home-sympathy. Thus, for instance, parents may 
weep over the wickedness of their children, and 
the pious wife may lament the impenitence of her 
husband; but if they go no further, their sym- 
pathy is really false, because it does not share in 
and feel the state of others, nor seek to alleviate 
their impending miseries. The home-sympathy 
is not simply the look of the priest and Levite 
upon the half-dead traveler, but also the* help of 
the good Samaritan. Its language is not only, 
"Be ye clothed and fed," but also, "I will clothe 
and feed thee." The mere indulgence in the feel- 
ing of sympathy is but to harden the heart in the 
end. Such were the sympathies of Eosseau, — 
mere heart-stimuli, without legitimate deeds and 
objective force, existing only as a love-sick senti- 
ment. And this was both the theme of his elo- 
quence and the cause of his misery. Such, too, 
were the sympathies of Robespierre, — a mere 
ebullition of disembodied sentiment, borne up 
like a floating bubble upon muddy waters, and 
exploding upon the slightest depression. 

But, on the other hand, when home-sympathy 
is issued in faithful action as its emotions prompt, 
it becomes an efficient agent in the happiness and 



158 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



peace of the family. It not only gives eloquence 
to the tongue, tears to the eye, but faithfulness to 
the life. It serves as a key-note to the mind and 
heart, framing the home-energy, revealing to us 
our real state, and prompting, by the instinct of 
love, the means for our highest welfare. 

" How glows the joyous parent to descry, 
A guileless bosom true to sympathy ! 
A long lost friend, or hapless child restored, 
Smiles at his blazing hearth and social board ; 
Warm from his heart the tears of rapture flow, 
And virtue triumphs o'er remembered woe !" 

Sympathy is excited and measured by .the 
power of natural affection. In proportion to 
the strength of the latter will be the attract- 
ive power of the former. That soothing voice 
which calms the wailing infant; that fond bo- 
som from which the child draws its subsistence, 
and on which it pillows its weary head ; that 
smile which throws a sunshine around its exist- 
ence, and all those acts of kindness administered 
by the hand of love, draw the child instinctively 
to the parent's heart, and blend in sweetest union 
its very being with theirs. 

The principle of home-sympathy reigns in some 
degree in every household whose members have 
not sunk below the level of the brute. Its nature 
demands that it be mutual. It should glow with 
peculiar warmth in the wife, the mother, and the 
sister ; because it is a more prominent instinct of 
woman. It is an intuition of the mother's heart. 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



159 



" When pain and anguish wring the brow, 
A ministering angel thou !" 

"Who but she can smooth the pillow and soothe 
the anguish of the child of affliction ? There is a 
tenderness in her nature, a softness in her touch, 
a lightness in her step, a soothing expression in 
her face, a tender beam in her eye, which man 
can never have, and which eminently fits her for 
the lead in home-sympathy. The want of it is a 
libel upon her sex. It is her prerogative, — the 
magic power she wields in the formation and ref- 
ormation of character. 

But her sympathy should find response in the 
bosom of her husband, the father, the brother: 
for, if true, it must be mutual. Their joys and 
their sorrows must be common. Thus heart must 
answer to heart, and face. " The cruelty of that 
man," says J. A. James, "wants a name, and I 
know of none sufficiently emphatic, who denies 
his sympathy to a suffering woman, whose only 
sin is a broken constitution, and whose calamity is 
the result of her marriage." "Without such mu- 
tual sympathy, the members of the family would 
be cold and repulsive, and society would be de- 
prived of its most lovely attributes ; its members 
would lose the connecting link which brings them 
together, and its entire fabric would fall to pieces 
and degenerate into barbaric individualism. 

" Had earth no sympathy, no tears would flow, 
In heart-felt sorrow, for another's woe ; 
The joyous spirit then would weary roam, 
A stranger to the dear delights of home." 



160 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



"We shall now consider briefly the religious 
elements of home-sympathy. These involve har- 
mony of the spiritual affections, and a transfer to 
all the members, of the religious experience and 
enjoyment of each. As natural sympathy arises 
out of and is measured by natural affection, so 
spiritual sympathy is the product of faith and 
love. Hence the latter is purer, more refined 
and efficient than the former. If the members 
of the family are the children of God, they will 
live together in the unity of the Spirit as well as 
of natural affection. The" sympathy of the pious 
portion will be interposed in behalf of the sal- 
vation of the impenitent members. There will 
be an identity of soul-interest. The pious moth- 
er will make the everlasting interests of her hus- 
band and child, her own ; and will labor with the 
same assiduity to promote them as she does to 
promote her own salvation. She will thus enter 
into the spiritual emotions of her kindred, and 
bear them vicariously, making thus her religious 
sympathies the law of preservation to all the 
members of her household. 

The living stream of this sympathy is given by 
Christ in His address to the weeping daughters 
of Jerusalem : " Daughters of Jerusalem, weep 
not for me, but weep for yourselves and for your 
children !" The following is also its living utter- 
ance : " My son, if thy heart be wise, my heart 
shall rejoice, even mine." We have also a beau- 
tiful exhibition of it in the touching history of 
Ruth, in the life of J oseph, and in the mother of 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 161 

Samuel. Peter describes it when he says, "Be 
all of one mind, having compassion one of an- 
other; love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous." 
Esther expresses it in the exclamation, " How can 
I endure to see the destruction of my kindred !" 
Paul gives utterance to it when he says, " I would 
be accursed for my brethren and kindred's sake." 
Jesus exemplifies it in His intercourse with the 
family of Lazarus ; He shows its emotion and its 
active charities when He stands on the grave of 
that friend, and weeps, and calls him from the 
dead. His sympathy for a lost world is the true 
pattern of home-sympathy. It was disinterested, 
superior to all selfishness, self-denying, active, and 
prompting Him to do and suffer all that He did. 
It was not measured by the merits of the object 
after which it yearned. He sympathized with all, 

" For each He had a brother's interest in His heart." 

And its softening influence fell, like morning dew, 
upon the heart of adamant, melting it into contri- 
tion and love. 

" In every pang that rends the heart, 
The Man of sorrows had a part ; 
He sympathizes in our grief, 
And to the sufferer sends relief." 1 

See Him bend over the bed of Jairus's'daughter ; 
see Him opening the eyes of the blind, healing 
the paralytic, comforting and feeding the poor 
widow, and cheering the bereaved and troubled 
heart. Wherever He went He was "a brother 



162 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

born for them in adversity." See Him on the 
cross, when weltering in blood and struggling 
with the pangs of a cruel death, He casts His 
languid eye upon His aged mother who is there 
weeping her pungent woes, and makes provision 
for her comfort. His sympathy now for all is the 
same. 

" None ever came unblest away; 
Then, though all earthly ties be riven, 
Smile, for thou hast a Friend in heaven !" 

It is this sympathy which makes Him a member 
of every Christian home. And when the sym- 
pathy of its members is the reproduction of His, 
they will, like Mary, sit in loving pupilage at His 
feet, each becoming the agent of blessings for all 
the rest. The wife will seek the salvation of her 
husband; the mother will labor with unwearied 
diligence for the redemption of her child. 

Thus when home-sympathy is purified and de- 
veloped by Christian faith and love, it opens up 
the most elevated of all home-feeling and solici- 
tude, and becomes the most effectual safeguard 
against impending ruin. ~No family can be true 
to its privileges and mission without it. It allures 
to the cross, leads all the members in the path of 
the sympathizing one, and prompts them to say, 
" Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from 
following after thee ; for whither thou goest I 
will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge ; thy 
people shall be my people, and thy God my God ; 
where thou diest I will die, and there will I be 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



163 



buried ; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if 
aught but death part thee and me." 

What would the Christian home be, therefore, 
without such sympathy? Powerless, amoral des- 
olation ! We read in God's Word, of men losing 
natural affection, and of mothers forgetting their 
sucking children. But these were worse than 
brutes. What shall we then say of Christian 
parents being devoid of spiritual sympathy, — 
shedding no tear of anguish over their moral 
ruin, nor showing the least concern about their 
salvation? Such parents do not rejoice even over 
the return of their children to Gk>d. They are a 
disgrace to the Christian name, and bring infamy 
upon the Christian home. 

Some parents do not proceed quite so far. 
They indulge in the feeling of sympathy for 
their children ; but alas ! that feeling is never 
expressed in efforts to save them. It is all ex- 
pended in vain and fruitless lamentations, and is, 
therefore, at best but a morbid sentimentalism, — 
but a cloak behind which are lurking parental 
hard-heartedness and religious apathy; proving 
plainly the great truth advanced by Adams, in 
his Elements of Christian Science, " that an in- 
dulgence in the feelings of sympathy without car- 
rying them out to the relief of actual distress, pro- 
duces hardness of heart to such a degree that the 
most pitiless and cruel, the most licentious and 
unnatural, and ungrateful conduct shall be joined 
with the most overflowing and deeply thrilling 
sentiment." 



164 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Let those parents who are ever lamenting the 
wickedness of their children, hut do nothing to 
make them better, ponder well this sentiment, 
and see it in the grin of their own hypocrisy, 
and the desolation of their injured home and 
children. Let the other members, as well as 
the parents, take the timely warning. Let the 
pious wife here see the character of her sympathy 
for her impenitent husband. And let each see 
that their pious sympathy "always issue forth in 
actions." Let that sympathy give not only elo- 
quence to the tongue, tears to your eye, and 
sighs to your heart, but also faithfulness to your 
life and holy calling. As the cry of hunger from 
your children, and their shivering cold in winter, 
prompt you to provide for their natural wants, so 
let their moral wants impel you to fidelity to their 
souls. All will be vain without this. The stern 
demands of a father's authority, and the formal 
teachings of a mother's lip, will fall like the frost 
of a winter's morning, upon their tender hearts, 
— only to sear and to harden and to freeze up the 
heart against God. For 

" He will not let love's work impart 
Full solace, lest it steal the heart." 

But when pure and holy sympathy goes out, in 
its softening influence after the young ; — 

"Then, feeling is diffused in every part, 
Thrills in each nerve, and lives in all the heart." 

Such sympathy has a saving influence upon both 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



165 



the parent and the child. It softens and refines 
the former, while it forms and allures the latter. 
The child fondly leans upon the parents, looks up 
to them for support and enjoyment, and is led by 
them in whatever path they choose. By its influ- 
ence the feeling of natural and spiritual helpless- 
ness becomes developed in the child ; the sense of 
dependence on a superior is awakened ; and with 
these, all those feelings of confidence and venera- 
tion, which lay the foundation of religious affec- 
tions, are unfolded. The parent's influence, both 
as to kind and degree, depends, therefore, upon 
the character of home-sympathy. If it is but 
natural, the parental influence will not extend 
beyond the worldly gain and temporal welfare of 
the child. The parent will exert no power over 
the soul. But if it be spiritual, and extend be- 
yond the mere instincts of natural affection, it 
will expand the mind, and develop all the melt- 
ing charities of our nature. It will pass with a 
new transferring and transforming power, from 
husband to wife, from parent to child, from kin- 
dred to kindred. Wherever it finds its way; 
whatever fiber of the heart it may touch, it be- 
gets a new and holy affection, unites the energies, 
lightens the toils, soothes the sorrows, and exalts 
the hopes, of all the members. It reflects a soft- 
ening luster from eye to eye, goes with electric 
flash from heart to heart, glows in its warmth 
throughout all its moral courses, accumulates the 
home-endearments, stimulates each member to re- 
ligious exertions for all the rest, and lays the foun- 



166 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



dation in eacli heart for an unbroken home-com- 
munion of their sainted spirits in heaven ! It 
cements them together in their tent-home, creat- 
ing a sweet concord of hearts and hopes and joys; 
and then elevates them unitedly in fond anticipa- 
tion of reunion in their eternal home. They 
blend their tears together over the grave of bur- 
ied love, and enjoy the saintly sympathy of loved 
ones gone before them. 

This is its most lovely feature. Tell me, is 
there not a bond of sympathy between Jesus and 
His people here, — between loved ones in heaven 
and their pious kindred on earth? Do not the 
tears of the Christian home reflect the tears of 
Jesus ? These are to the heart like the dews of 
Hermon, — like the dews that descended upon the 
mountains of Zion. 

" No radiant pearl which crested fortune wears, 
No gem that, sparkling, hangs from .beauty's ears, 
Not the bright stars which night's blue arch adorn, 
Nor rising sun that gilds the vernal morn, 
Shine with such luster as the tear that breaks 
For others' woe, down virtue's lovely cheeks/' 

Is such, Christian brother, the sympathy of yonr 
home ? It will be a safeguard against the follies 
and the false interests of life. It will restrict the 
fashionable taste and sentiments of the age. It 
will teach wisdom to the pious mother, and be a 
sure defense against the dangers and indiscretions 
of the nursery and fashionable boarding school. 
Under its influence, mothers will not trust the 



HOME-SYMPATHY. 



167 



souls of their children to the guardianship of irre- 
ligious nurses, nor expose them to the perils of a 
corrupted and heartless fashion. They will deny 
themselves the ruinous pleasures of a gay and 
reckless association with the world ; and with 
maternal solicitude, attend upon the opening of 
those buds of life which God has committed to 
them. The pious mother will wield her power 
over her children, by the force of this sympathy ; 
for her's is the deepest, purest, and most saving 
of all home-sympathy: 

11 Earth may chill 
And sever other sympathies, and prove 
How weak all human bonds are — it may kill 
Friendship, and crush hearts with them — but the thrill 
Of the maternal breast must ever move 
In blest communion with her child, and fill 
Even heaven itself with prayers and hymns of love !" 



CHAPTER XV. 



FAMILY PRAYER. 

" Hush ! 'tis a holy hour, — the quiet room 
Seems like a temple, while yon soft lamp sheds 
A faint and starry radiance through the room 
And the sweet stillness, down on yon bright heads, 
"With all their clustering locks, untouched by care, 
And bowed, as flowers are bowed with night, — in prayer. 
Gaze on, 'tis lovely — childhood's lip and cheek 
Mantling beneath its earnest brow of thought !" 

Home-sympathy will prompt to family devo- 
tion. The latter is the fruit of the former. A 
prayerless home is destitute of religious sympa- 
thy. The family demands prayer. Its . relation 
to God, its dependence and specific duties, in- 
volve devotion. Communion with God consti' 
tutes a part of the intercourse and society of 
home. The necessity of family prayer arises out- 
of the home-constitution and mission. Family 
mercies and blessings ; family dangers and weak- 
nesses; family hopes and temptations, — all be- 



FAMILY PRAYER. 



169 



speak the importance of family worship. If you 
occupy the responsible station of a parent; if 
God has made you the head of a religious house- 
hold, and you profess to stand and live on the 
Lord's side, then, tell me, have you not by im- 
plication vowed to maintain regular family wor- 
ship ? Besides, the benefits and privilege of 
prayer develop the obligation of the family to 
engage in it. Is not every privilege a duty? 
And if it is a duty for individuals and congrega- 
tions to pray, is it not, for a similar reason, the 
duty of the family to establish her altar of devo- 
tion? As a family we daily need and receive 
mercies, daily sin, are tempted and in danger 
every day ; why not then as a family daily pray ? 

But what is family prayer? It is not simply 
individual prayer, not the altar of the closet; 
but the home-altar, around which all the mem- 
bers gather morning and evening, as a family- 
unit, with one heart, one faith and one hope, to 
commune with G-od and supplicate his mercy. 
"In the devotion of this little assembly," says 
Dr. D wight, "parents pray for their children, 
and children for their parents ; the husband for 
the wife, and the wife for the husband; while 
brothers and sisters send up their requests to the 
throne of Infinite Mercy, to call down blessings 
on each other. Who that wears the name of a 
man can be indifferent here ? Must not the ven- 
erable character of the parent, the peculiar ten- 
derness of the conjugal union, the affectionate 
intimacy of the filial and fraternal relations; 
8 



170 



THE CHKISTIAN HOME. 



must not the nearest of relations long existing, 
the interchange of kindness long continued, and 
the oneness of interests long cemented, — all 
warm the heart, heighten the importance of 
every petition, and increase the fervor of every 
devotional effort?" 

What scene can be more lovely on earth, more 
like the heavenly home, and more pleasing to 
God, than that of a pious family kneeling with 
one accord around the home-altar, and uniting 
their supplications to their Father in heaven ! 
How sublime the act of those parents who thus 
pray for the blessing of God upon their house- 
hold! How lovely the scene of a pious mother 
gathering her little ones around her at the bed- 
side, and teaching them the privilege of prayer ! 
And what a safeguard is this home-devotion, 
against all the machinations of Satan ! 

" Our hearths are altars all ; 
The prayers of hungry souls and poor, 
Like armed angels at the door, 

Our unseen foes appal !" 

It is this which makes home a type of heaven, 
the dwelling place of God. The family altar is 
heaven's threshold. And happy are those chil- 
dren who at that altar, have been consecrated 
by a father's blessing, baptized by a mother's' 
tears, and borne up to heaven upon their joint 
petitions, as a voluntary thank-offering to God. 
The home that has honored God with an altar of 
devotion may well be called blessed. 



FAMILY PRAYER. 



171 



" Child, amidst the flowers at play, 
While the red light fades away ; 
Mother, with thine earnest eye 
Ever following silently ; 
Father, by the breeze of eve 
Called thy warmest work to leave ; 
Pray ! — ere yet the dark hours be, 
Lift the heart and bend the knee." 

The duty thus to establish, family prayer is 
imperative. It is a duty because GTod commands 
it, and the mission of home cannot be fulfilled 
without it. It is a duty because a privilege and 
a blessing, and the condition of parental efficien- 
cy in all other duties ; — because the moral and 
spiritual growth of the child depends upon it. 
It is one of the most effectual means of grace. 
All the instructions, all the discipline and exam- 
ple, of the parent will be in vain without it. 
Hence both natural affection and christian faith 
should suggest its establishment. Parents are 
bound to do so by their covenant vows, by the 
obligations of baptism, by all the interests and 
hopes of their household. They have dedicated 
their children to God, and pledged themselves 
to educate them for Him, and to train them up 
in His ways. Tell me then, can you be faithful 
to these vows and obligations without family 
prayer? Can you fulfil your covenant engage- 
ments, hope to receive your reward, and see your 
children grow up in the nurture of the Lord's 
vineyard, without rearing up a family altar ? 

The promised blessings of family prayer show 



172 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



tliat every faithful Christian home must have its 
family altar. These are unspeakable. It is a 
sure defence against sin; it sanctifies the mem- 
bers, and throws a hallowed atmosphere around 
our household. The child will come under its 
restraining and savins; influence. A mother's 
prayer will haunt the child, and draw it as if by 
magic power towards herself in heaven : 

" He might forget her melting prayer, 
While pleasure's pulses madly fly, 
But in the still, unbroken air, 
Her gentle tones come stealing by, — 
And years of sin and manhood flee, 
And leave him at his mother's knee !" 

It affords home security and happiness, re- 
moves family friction, and causes all the com- 
plicated wheels of the home-machinery to move 
on noiselessly and smoothly. It promotes union 
and harmony, expunges all selfishness, allays 
petulant feelings and turbulent passions, de- 
stroys peevishness of temper, and makes home- 
intercourse holy and delightful. It causes the 
members to reciprocate each other's affections, 
hushes the voice of recrimination, and exerts a 
softening and harmonizing influence over each 
heart. The dew of Herrnon falls upon the home 
where prayer is wont to be made. Its members 
enjoy the good and the pleasantness of dwelling 
together in unity. It gives tone and intensity 
to their affections and sympathies : it throws a 
sunshine around their hopes and interests : it 



FAMILY PRAYER. 



173 



increases their happiness, and takes away the 
poignancy of their grief and sorrow. It avail- 
eth much, therefore, hoth for time and eternity. 
Its voice has sent many a poor prodigal home to 
his father's house. Its answer has often been, 
" This man was born there !" The child, kneel- 
ing beside the pious mother, and pouring forth 
its infant prayer to Grod, must attract the notice 
of the heavenly host, and receive into its soul 
the power of a new life. 

"Who would not be an infant now, 

To breathe an infant's prayer ? 

manhood ! could thy spirit kneel 

Beside that sunny child, 

As fondly pray, and purely feel, 

With soul as undefiled. 

That moment would encircle thee, 

With light and love divine ; 

Thy gaze might dwell on Deity, 

And heaven itself be thine." 

And yet the neglect of family prayer is a very 
general defect of the Christian home. JSTo home- 
duty has indeed been more grossly neglected and 
abused. Some attend to it only occasionally; 
some only in times of affliction and distress, as 
if then only they needed to pray to GTod ; some 
only on the Sabbath, as if that were the only day 
to commune with Him. Some perform it only 
in a formal way, having the form without the 
spirit of prayer, as if God did not require the 
fervent, in order to the effectual, prayer that 
availeth much. 



174 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



As a general tiling, at the present day, not 
more than three or four families out of a whole 
congregation, have established the family altar. 
The parents may engage in closet prayer, but 
their children are strangers to the fact. Their 
devotions they seem zealous to conceal, as if 
they were ashamed of their piety. Can this be 
right ? Is this the will of God ? No ! methinks 
if the parent is faithful to the duty of private 
prayer, he cannot omit the duty and privilege 
of family devotion. But why neglect family 
prayer? Are you ashamed of your children? 
ffave you no time ? Then you are unworthy 
of a family, and should not profess to act towards 
them as the steward of God. Think you that 
God will not answer and bless your prayers ? 
What more could you do and hope for your 
children than to offer up supplications for them 
to God? 

" What could a mother's prayer, 
In all the wildest ecstacy of hope, 
Ask for her darling like the bliss of heaven?" 

Many seek by the most frivolous excuses, to 
justify their neglect of family prayer. Some will 
urge the press of other duties, alleging that other 
engagements prevent it. This is false. God lays 
upon you no engagement that is designed to su- 
persede the necessity of prayer. Besides, you 
will find that you really waste more time than 
it would require for family devotion. And furth- 
er, can you spend your time to better purpose 



FAMILY PRAYEK. 



175 



than in family prayer? I think not. It is the 
best husbandry of time. Says Philip Henry to 
his children, "Prayer and provender hinder no 
man's journey." But another pleads incapacity. 
He has not the gift of speech, and cannot make 
an eloquent prayer. This is no excuse. Prayer 
is the gift of the Holy Spirit; and if you have 
the spirit of prayer, you will find words for its 
utterance. Besides, eloquence does not condi- 
tion the efficacy of prayer. "Where there is 
a willing mind, it is accepted according to that 
a man hath, and not according to that he hath 
not." 

" When we of helps or hopes are quite bereaven, 
Our humble prayers have entrance into heaven." 

We have the capacity to ask for what we ear- 
nestly desire and feel the need of. The anger 
of God will kindle against you for this excuse, 
as it kindled against Moses for a similar one. 
When He called him to be his messenger to Is- 
rael, Moses said, as you do, a O my Lord, I am 
not eloquent, — I am slow of speech, and of a 
slow tongue. And the Lord said unto him, who 
hath made man's mouth? or, who maketh the 
dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind ? Have 
not I the Lord ? The anger of the Lord was kin- 
dled against him." 

Let me, therefore, urge upon you, Christian 
parents, to make prayer a prominent element of 
your home. You should be a priest unto your 
family, — a leader in home-communion with God. 



176 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Your children have a right to expect this from 
you. If you are a church member, how strange 
and startling must be the enunciation in heaven, 
that you are a prayerless christian, and your home 
destitute of the altar ! And do you think that, 
continuing thus, you will be admitted into that 
heavenly home where there is one unbroken voice 
of prayer and praise to God ? Do you not tremble 
at the prospect of those tremendous denunciations 
which the Lord has uttered against those who neg- 
lect and abuse the privilege of prayer? "Pour 
out thy fury upon the families that have not called 
upon thy name." Oh then, make your home a 
house of prayer; lead your little flock in sweet 
communion with God. Establish in them the 
habit of devotion: Shape their consciences by 
prayer. In this way you shall secure for yourself 
and them the blessing of God: His smile shall 
ever rest upon your household : Salvation shall 
be the heritage of your children ; they will grow 
up in the divine life ; and will live amid the bless- 
ings of prayer, and be faithful to its requisitions : 

" Hold the little hands in prayer, teach the weak knees 
their kneeling ; 

Let him see thee speaking to thy God ; he will not forget it 
afterwards ; 

When old and gray will he feelingly remember a mother's 

tender piety, 

And the touching recollection of her prayers shall arrest the 
strong man in his sin !" 



CHAPTER XVI. 



HOME-EDUCATION. 

SECTION I. 

THE CHARACTER OF HOME EDUCATION. 

•'Scratch the green rind of a sapling, or wantonly twist it in 
the soil, 

The scarred and crooked oak will tell of thee for centuries to 
come ; 

Wherefore, though the voice of instruction waiteth for the ear 
of reason, 

Yet with his mother's milk the young child drinketh educa- 
tion." 

"We come now to consider one of the most im- 
portant features of the Christian home, viz., as a 
school for the education of character. This is 
important because of its vital bearing upon the 
interests of home. The parent is not only king 
and priest, but prophet in the family. It is the 
first school. We there receive a training for good 
or for evil. There is not a word, nor an emotion, 
*8 



178 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



nor an act, nor even a look there, which does not 
teach the child something. Character is ever be- 
ing framed and moulded there. Every habit there 
formed, and every action there performed, imply a 
principle which shall enter as an element into the 
future character of the child. 

"What is home-education? It is the physical, 
mental, moral, and religious development of the 
child. To educate means to draw out as well as 
to instil in. It means the evolution of our nature 
as well as the communication of facts and prin- 
ciples to us. The home training does not, there- 
fore, consist of simple information, but is a nur- 
ture of body, mind and spirit. From this we may 
infer the frequent mistakes of parents, in substi- 
tuting mere book-learning for a training up and 
nurture, dealing with their children as if they had 
no faculties, and making the entire education of 
their children mechanical and empirical. Home 
training involves the development of all their fac- 
ulties as a unit and in their living relation, caus- 
ing the body to move right, the mind to think 
right, the heart to feel right, and the soul to love 
right ; changing your children from creatures of 
mere impulse, prejudice and passion, to thinking, 
loving and reasoning beings. To educate them is 
to bring out their hidden powers, to form their 
character, and prepare them for their station in 
life. Thus home-education means a drawing out 
and also a bringing up, — a training for man, and 
a bringing up for God; a training and nurture 
for the family, the state, and the church, — for 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



179 



time and for eternity. These must be done to- 
gether; they involve but one process, and are 
conditioned by each other. We cannot sepa- 
rate a secular from a religious education, nei- 
ther can we separate a training from a bringing 
up. While those faculties of the child which 
exist in a state of mere involution, are being 
developed, its nature must be supplied with ap- 
propriate food; and every element of its educa- 
tion must possess the plastic power of evolving 
and giving specific form to its future character 
and destiny. Thus the parent, in teaching, must 
have a forming influence over the child; and his 
instructions must correspond in character, kind 
and extent, with the nature, wants, and destiny 
of the child. 

What are now the different kinds or parts of 
home-education ? 

It must be physical. The child has a physical 
nature, physical wants, and is related to the ma- 
terial world; and should, therefore, receive a 
physical education. The object of this is to en- 
sure that sound, vigorous frame of body which 
is not only a great blessing in itself, but an essen- 
tial concomitant of a sound state and vigorous 
development of mind. It refers to the proper 
management of the health of the child, its diet, 
habits of exercise and recreation. Parents should 
teach their children the nature of the body, its 
dangers, and bearing upon their future happi- 
ness. They should teach them to govern their 
appetite, and train them up to habits of exercise 



180 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and early rising. This part of home-education 
•begins in the nursery, — in the cradle, and is not 
complete till the body is brought to maturity in 
all its functions. Neglect of it will result in 
physical imbecility, and often in mental derange- 
ment. The object secured by it is, the preserva- 
tion of the health and constitution of the child. 
In this we see its importance. What is your 
wealth, your station, your influence, if through 
your neglect of your children, they are deprived 
of health, and grow up with the seeds of imma- 
ture death springing up in their system ? 

In the physical training of children due regard 
should be had to cleanliness, exercise, diet and 
dress. Without this all will be vain. Many 
parents keep them within doors, never let them 
enjoy the pure air, nor exercise the muscular 
system, keep their bodies cooped in clothing too 
small, and feasted upon a diet unwholesome ; 
and as a consequence, they show a sickly growth, 
and become unfit either for the burdens or for the 
enjoyments of life. 

The importance of exercise in the open air, 
and abstemiousness in diet, is proven from the 
health of those nations that train their children 
in all the exercise of riding, leaping, running and 
fencing, and subject them from infancy to the 
most frugal diet. Thus the perfect forms and 
vigorous health of the Greeks, the Eomans and 
Persians were the fruit of national attention paid 
to physical education. Every home should have 
its suitable gymnafiium. How many parents, by 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



181 



their violation of the laws of health, prostitute 
the strength of their children to profligacy and 
indolence. 

Home-education must be intellectual. Much 
of human character and happiness depends upon 
the education of the mind, both as respects the 
development of its faculties and the application 
of legitimate truth. The mind is the man. It 
is not, as Locke declares, like a blank sheet of 
paper or a chest of drawers ; but has an intui- 
tional as well as a logical consciousness, innate 
ideas as well as capacities of receiving truth ; 
while all its faculties involve a unity, and exist 
in the child in a state of involution; the abuse 
and neglect of one of which will have their bear- 
ing upon all the rest ; and the mind without 
proper culture in its undeveloped state in the 
child, will show the symptoms of its abuse in 
the man. The character of the mind in the man 
will indicate the character of its education in the 
child. This education should begin properly 
with the first symptoms of consciousness. All 
the powers of the intellect should be unfolded. 
Parents should be the Principals in the mental 
training of their children. The manner and 
means of such training will be considered in 
another place. Our purpose here is simply to 
state this as a part of home-training. From the 
important part which the mind acts in the great 
drama of human life and destiny, we think that 
no intelligent parent would presume to repudi- 
ate its education. 



182 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Home-education must be moral. The family 
should develop the moral nature of the child. 
The will should be educated; the sense of right 
and wrong trained ; the emotions cultivated ; the 
passions and desires ruled; the conscience and 
faith developed. The necessity of this is seen 
in the fact that our nature is fallen and pervert- 
ed. The means of educating the moral nature 
of the child, are natural and revealed. Both are 
of divine* appointment. The former are those 
which lie within the circumference of our abili- 
ties, and will be of no avail without the latter, 
which are found in the scriptures and church. 
What are some of these means ? 

1. Parents should place their children in cir- 
cumstances calculated to form a good moral char- 
acter. They should surround them with a moral 
atmosphere, that they may, with their first breath, 
inhale a pure moral being, and escape the con- 
tamination of evil. This has been called " the 
education of circumstances." Much of character 
depends upon position and the circumstances in 
which we are placed. This is seen in the differ- 
ence between those children who have enjoyed 
the true christian home, and those who have not. 
Hence the first thing parents should consider in 
the moral training of their children is, the home 
in which they are to be trained. This home 
should afford them circumstances the most fa- 
vorable to their moral culture. 

2. They should remove all temptation. Evil 
propensities are called forth by temptation ; and 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



183 



a child loses the power to resist in proportion to 
the frequency of the temptation. Hence the ex- 
posure of our children to temptation but educates 
and strengthens their propensities to evil. On 
the other hand, if we remove temptation, these 
propensities will not be called into activity, and 
will lose their tenacity. Never allow your chil- 
dren to tamper with sin in any form ; teach them 
how to resist temptation ; inspire them with an 
abhorrence and a dread of all evil. In this way 
you prepare them for the reception and reproduc- 
tion of moral truth. 

3. Another means of moral education is ex- 
ample. This has been styled the "education of 
example." This has more power than precept. 
The efficiency of this means is based upon the 
natural disposition of the child to imitate. Chil- 
dren take their parents as the standard of all that 
is good, and will, therefore, follow them in evil as 
well as in good. Hence the parent's example 
should be a correct model of sound morality. 
The child will be the moral counterpart of the 
parent. You can see the parent's home in the 
child. He is the moral daguerreotype of his par- 
ent. This but shows the importance of good ex- 
ample in his moral training. 

4. But one of the most effectual means is, by 
moral training, by which we mean, to draw out 
and properly direct the moral faculties, and to 
habituate them to the exercise of moral princi- 
ple. Without this, all mechanical education will 
be fruitless. To call forth muscular power you 



184 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



must exercise the muscles. So you give the child 
moral stamina by developing its moral faculties, 
and establishing in them the habit of moral ac- 
tion. This training has its foundation in the law 
of habit. It is given, with its results, in the Word 
of God. " Train up a child," &c. Also in the old 
maxim, " Just as the twig is bent, the tree is in- 
clined." 

; ' Scratch the green rind of a sapling, or wantonly twist it in 
the soil, 

The scarred and crooked oak will tell of thee for centuries to 
come !" 

The power and pleasure of doing a thing de- 
pends much upon habit. Our nature may be- 
come habituated to good or evil ; we become pas- 
sive in proportion to the habit. How important, 
then, that the moral powers of our children be 
trained up to principles and action until habits 
of good thought, feeling, and conduct, are estab- 
lished. Then they will not depart from them; 
and their moral life will be spontaneous and a 
source of enjoyment. 

The feelings, appetites and instincts of children 
should be thus specially trained. According to 
Dr. Gall, there are two classes of feelings, — the 
selfish, yet necessary for the preservation of the 
individual ; and the unselfish, or those which are 
directed to objects apart from self, yet liable to 
abuse and misdirection. Both of these demand 
a home-training. The parent should give to each 
its true direction, restrain and harmonize them in 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



185 



their relations and respective spheres of activity, 
and bring them under law, and place before each 
its legitimate object and end. Then, and then 
only, do they become laws of self-preservation. 
The natural appetites are subject to abuse, and 
when unrestrained, defeat the very ends of their 
existence. Thus the appetite for food may be 
over-indulged through mistaken parental kind- 
ness, until habits of sensualism are established, 
and the child becomes a glutton, and finds the 
grave of infamy. 

How many children have been thus destroyed 
in soul and body by parental indulgence and neg- 
lect of their natural feelings and appetites. The 
feeling of cruelty, revenge, malice, falsehood, tale- 
bearing, dishonesty, vanity, &c, have, in the same 
way and by the same indulgence, been engendered 
in the children of Christian parents. The same, 
too, may be said of the unselfish feelings. These 
have been called the moral sentiments ; and upon 
their proper training depends the formation of a 
positive moral character. The conscience comes 
under this head. The parent should train that 
important faculty of the child. It' should be 
taught to act from the standpoint of conscience, 
and to form the habit of conscientiousness in 
word and deed. This includes the training of 
the motives also, and of all the cardinal moral 
virtues, such as justice, honor, chastity, venera- 
tion, kindness, &c. " Teach your children," says 
Goodrich in his Fireside Education, "never to 
wound a person's feelings because he is poor, be- 

/ 



186 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



cause he is deformed, because he is unfortunate, 
because he holds an humble station in life, be- 
cause he is poorly clad, because he is weak in 
body and mind, because he is awkward, or be- 
cause the God of nature has bestowed upon him 
a darker skin than theirs." 

This early education should commence as soon 
as the necessities of the child demand it. A child 
should be taught what is necessary for it to know 
and practice as soon as that necessity exists and 
the child is capable of learning. Scripture sanc- 
tions this. Our fathers did so. It was the in- 
junction of Moses to the children of Israel: Deut. 
vi., 6-9. G-od commands you to break up the fal- 
low ground and sow the good seed at the first 
dawn of the spring-life of your children, and then 
to pray for the " early and the latter rain," 

" Teaching, with pious care, the dawning light 
Of infant intellect to know the Lord." 

Home-education should be religious. As the 
child has a religious nature, religious wants, and a 
religious end to accomplish, it should receive from 
its parents a religious training. Religion is edu- 
cational. We are commanded to teach religion 
to our children. The admonition to "train up a 
child in the way he should go," and to "bring him 
up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," is 
a scripture sanction of religious education. Na- 
ture and the bible, are the text-books for such a 
training. The child should be taught natural and 
revealed religion. Such education involves the 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



187 



development of the child's religious nature, and 
the diligent use of those means by which it may 
become an adopted child of God. 

Education should be suited to the wants and 
the destination of the child. Religion is its first 
want, — the one thing needful, the chief concern ; 
and should, therefore, be the first object of atten- 
tion in home-training. The fear and love of God 
should be the first lesson taught. This is the be- 
ginning of wisdom. Teach your children to love 
Him above father and mother, sister and brother. 
The child is capable of such ideas of God. Chil- 
dren can possess the sentiment of God ; and when 
this is instilled and developed as a rudiment of 
their character, they have a preparation for the 
grace of God. What is the mere secular, with- 
out such a religious education ? It is education 
without its essence ; for piety is the essence of all 
education. Irreligious training is destructive, — 
a curse rather than a blessing, — only a training up 
to crime and to ruin. " The mildew of a .cul- 
tivated, but depraved mind, blights whatever it 
falls upon." "Religion," says Dr. Barrow, "is 
the only science, which is equally and indispen- 
sably necessary to men of every rank, every age, 
and every profession." "The end of learning," 
says Milton, "is to repair the ruins of our first 
parents, by requiring to know God aright, and 
out of that knowledge, to love Him, and to imi- 
tate Him." 

We see, therefore, that religious training is the 
only true palladium of your children's happiness 



188 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and destiny ; and should be the great end of all 
home-teaching. Tinge all their thoughts and 
feelings with a sense of eternity. Train them 
np to build for another world. Stamp the im- 
press of a future life upon their tender hearts. 
Beget in them longings after immortality. See 
that their designs extend beyond this world. As 
the Spartan mother gave character to her nation 
by the instructions she gave her child, so you 
give character to your religion, your church, 
your home, by the spiritual culture of your off- 
spring. Let the jewels you give them be the 
virtues and the gifts of the Holy Ghost, — the 
ornaments of a meek and quiet spirit. 

" Take the germ, and make it 
A bud of moral beauty. Let the dews 
Of knowledge and the light of virtue, wake it 
In richest fragrance and in purest hues." 

Childhood is the period in which the principles 
of Christianity can be the most effectually engraft- 
ed in our nature. Its pliability at that period in- 
sures its free assimilation to the spirit and truth 
of religion. "Would to God," says St. Pierre, 
"Iliad preserved the sentiment of the existence 
of the Supreme Being, and of His principal attri- 
butes, as pure as I had it in my earliest years !" 
It is the heart more than the head that religion 
demands ; and* you can fill the young heart with 
sentiments of God better than if you wait till it 
grows hard as adamant in sin. You can elevate 
the soul of your child to God, and teach it to 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



189 



raise its little hands and voice in prayer to the 
Most High. Yon can teach it this from the book 
of nature and of revelation, — from the daisies that 
spring np among the grass upon which it frolics, 
by the mellow fruits after which it longs, by the 
stars that shine in unclouded luster above it, and 
by the breezes which ruffle its silken curls, and 
bring perfume to its smiling face. 

To the mother especially, is committed the reli- 
gious education of the child at home. She is emi- 
nently adapted, if herself a Christian, for such a 
work. Her love, her piety, which breathes in 
every word, in every look, makes her instructions 
effectual and pleasing. 

" 'Tis pleasing to "be schooled by female lips and eyes, 
They smile so when one's right, and when one's wrong, 
They smile still more ; and then there 
Comes encouragement in the soft hand 
Over the brow, perhaps even a chaste kiss — 
I learned the little that I know by this." 

They can better reach and train the heart. Re- 
ligion is heart-wisdom. "My* son, give me thy 
heart!" Wq may use the head as an avenue to 
the heart, yet nothing is done in the religion of 
our children until the heart be carried. It is only 
in that inner shrine that there can be deposited 
the wisdom that is from above, and only then will 
they be made wise unto salvation. And who is 
better able to storm and carry that inner citadel, 
and lead its subdued inmates to the Cross, than 
the pious, tender-hearted, soliciting mother ! 



190 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Some parents object to the religious training of 
their children, "because," say they, "there is dan- 
ger of having their minds biased by some particu- 
lar creed ; they should be left, therefore, to them- 
selves till they are capable of making a choice, 
and then let them choose their creed." This is 
all a miserable subterfuge, and in direct opposi- 
tion to the explicit command of God and the 
whole tenor of the gospel plan of salvation. It 
goes upon the assumption that religion is but an 
opinion — a subscription to a certain creed, learn- 
ing certain doctrines — a mere thing for the head. 
Tell me, is it worse to bias their minds to a par- 
ticular creed, than to let them grow up biased to 
the world, to the Devil and all his works ? Is it 
all of home, religious culture to bias them to a 
particular creed ? Besides, is it not the right, yea, 
the duty of parents to bias their children in favor 
of the religious creed of the parental home ? It 
shows, therefore, that those parents who, for this 
reason, object to religious training, have but little 
love for, and confidence in, their own creed, or 
they would not shrink from biasing their children 
to it. 

To encourage Christian parents to give their 
children a good religious education, God has 
given them numerous examples, from both sa- 
cred and profane history, of conversion and emi- 
nent piety in the age of childhood, as the direct 
fruit of early parental instruction. Look, for in- 
stance, at the child Samuel worshiping the Lord. 
Look, too, at the case of Moses and of David, of 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



191 



Joseph and of John the Baptist. Dr. Doddridge, 
we are told, "was brought up in the early knowl- 
edge of religion by his pious parents." His moth- 
er " taught him the history of the Old and New 
Testaments before he could read, by the assistance 
of some Dutch tiles in the chimney of the room 
where they commonly sat ; and her wise and pious 
reflections oil the stories there represented were 
the means of making some good impressions on 
his heart, which never wore out." An eminently 
pious minister thus writes to his parents, confirm- 
ing by his own blessed experience the early fruits 
of religious training : " I verily believe that had 
my religious training been confined to the glean- 
ings of the Sabbath school, instead of the steady 
enforcement of the Mosaic arrangement at home 
by my parents, I might now be pursuing a far dif- 
ferent course, and living for a far different end. 
Many, very many times, as early in childhood as 
I can recollect, has the Spirit of God convicted 
me of sin, as my father at home has taught me 
out of the scriptures, and I cannot easily forget 
that the same high-priest of the home-church 
once tore from me the hypocrite's hope. And 
that dear place had another to carry on the work, 
gentler but not weaker; and memory recalls a 
mother pressing her face close to mine as she 
often knelt with me before the mercy-seat. I 
will not cast reproach on any institution which 
has been productive of good to myself and to 
others, but with profound gratitude will say, 
home was the place of my spiritual nativity, 



192 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and my parents were God's instruments in lead- 
ing me to Christ !" 

The eminent piety of Dr. Dwight stands on 
record as the fruit of a mother's faithful reli- 
gious training ; for " she taught him from the 
very dawn of reason to fear God and keep His 
commandments, and the impressions then made 
upon his mind in infancy, were never effaced." 
The mother of young Edwards is another exam- 
ple of early piety as the fruit of religious home- 
culture. The aged Polycarp, when under arrest 
during the persecution under Marcus Aurelius, in 
reply to the injunction of the pro-consul, "Swear, 
curse Christ, and I release thee !" exclaimed, " Six 
and eighty years have I served Him, and He has 
done me nothing but good ; and how could I curse 
Him, my Lord and Saviour ? ' ' Thus showing him- 
self to have been a Christian at the early age of 
four years ! It was through the instructions of 
his grandmother Lois, and his mother Eunice, that 
young Timothy "knew from a child the holy scrip- 
tures, which made him wise unto salvation." 

• And what an effectual antidote are such in- 
structions against vice and temptation ! How 
many have by them been arrested from the de- 
vouring jaws of infidelity and ruin! Thus it was 
with John Randolph, who said that in the days 
of the French revolution, when infidel reason 
took the place of God and the bible, and infi- 
delity prowled unmolested throughout France, 
he would have become an infidel himself, had 
it not been for the remembrance of his child- 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



193 



hood days, when his pious mother taught him 
to kneel by her side, and to say, " Our Father, 
who art in heaven !" Thus, too, with the pious 
and learned J. Q. Adams, who daily repeated the 
little prayers his mother taught him when a child. 

Thus, then, we see that parents are encour- 
aged by the most brilliant examples of history, 
to teach their children religion at the home- 
fireside, "when thou liest down and risest up." 
Oh, let the gentle courtesies and sweet endear- 
ments of home engrave the "Word and Spirit 
of God upon their tender hearts. Wait not 
until they are matured in rebellion, and sin lay 
beds of flinty rock over their hearts; but let 
them breathe from infancy the atmosphere of 
holiness, and drink from the living fountains of 
divine truth. See that your homes become their 
birth-place in the spiritual kingdom of Christ. 

Such religious training will be the guardian 
of their future life, and will fortify them against 
impending evil. / What made Daniel steadfast 
amidst all the efforts to heathenize him during 
his captivity in Babylon? His early religious cul- 
ture. It was the means of his preservation. The 
truth had been deeply engraven upon his heart 
when young, and nothing could ever efface it. 
His early home-impressions glowed there with 
pristine freshness and power amid all the terrors 
which surrounded him in the den and before the 
throne of his implacable foe. These home-in- 
structions may be silenced for a time, but never 
destroyed. They may be overshadowed, but not 
9 



194 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



annihilated. Says Dr. Cumming, "The words 
spoken by parents to their children in the pri- 
vacy of home are like words spoken in a whis- 
pering-gallery, and will be clearly heard at the 
distance of years, and along the corridors of ages 
that are yet t<9 come. They will prove like the 
lone star to the mariner upon a dark and stormy 
sea, associated with a mother's love, with a father's 
example, with the roof-tree beneath which they 
lived and loved, and will prove in after life to 
mould the man and enable him to adorn and im- 
prove .the age in which he is placed." 

Be faithful, therefore, in the spiritual culture of 
your children. Give them "line upon line and 
precept upon precept, here a little and there a 
little." Lead them on by degrees to Christ until 
each indelible impression becomes an established 
habit. In the morning of their life sow the seed ; 
and God will give the increase ; and then in the 
day of judgment your children will rise up and 
call you blessed ! 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



195 



SECTION n. 

NEGLECT AND ABUSE OF HOME-EDUCATION. 

"Accomplishments have taken virtue's place, 
And wisdom falls before exterior grace ; 
"We slight the precious kernel of the stone, 
And toil to polish its rough coat alone. 
A just deportment, manners graced with ease, 
Elegant phases, and figure formed to please, 
Are qualities that seem to comprehend 
Whatever parents, guardians, schools intend ; 
Hence all that interferes, and dares to clash 
"With indolence and luxury, is trash !" 

Home-education in all its parts is most sadly 
neglected and .abused at the present day. Many 
parents think that the office of teacher is not 
included in the parental character and mission. 
The neglect of home-training seems to arise' out 
of an existing prejudice against it. Some think 
that education will unfit their children for indus- 
try, — will make them indolent and proud. They 
regard mental culture as an enemy to both indus- 
try and virtue. Strange delusion ! The mind is 
given to use, not to abuse ; and its abuse is no 
argument against its proper use. God has given 
the mind, and intends it to be developed and cul- 
tivated. If, therefore, its training has made it in- 
dolent and dissipated, it only proves its education 



196 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



to be spurious. You might, by a parity of reason- 
ing, blindfold the eye that it might not be covet- 
ous, or tie up the hand lest it pick a man's pocket, 
or hobble the feet lest they run into evil ways r 
as to keep the mind in ignorance lest it beconio 
wicked. 

Besides, we find more real indolence and wick- 
edness among the ignorant than among the edu- 
cated; for man will be educated in something. 
If you do not educate your child in the truths of 
nature and religion, be assured he will become 
trained in falsehood and in the ways of Satan* 
" Uneducated mind is uneducated vice. ' ' A prop 
er education is a divine alchemy which turns a]* 
the baser parts of man's nature into gold. With- 
out it all is discord and darkness within and with- 
out. Besides, ignorance leads to misery because 
it leads to wickedness. Dr. Johnson was once 
asked, "Who is the most miserable man ?" He 
replied, " That man who cannot read on a rainy 
day !" It has well been said by Edmund Burke 
that "Education is the cheap defense of nations." 
Why? Because it prevents vice, poverty, misery, 
and relieves the state of the support of paupers 
and criminals, "A good education," says Miss 
Sedgwick, " is a young man's best capital." Says 
Governor Everett to parents, " Sow the seed of 
instruction in your son's and daughter's minds. 
It will flourish when that over-arching heaven 
shall pass away like a scroll, and the eternal 
sun which lightens it, shall set in blood." Says 
the Rev. Robert Hall, "I am persuaded that 



HOME-EDUCATION. - 19T 



tlie extreme profligacy, improvidence, and mis- 
ery, which are so prevalent among the laboring 
classes in many countries, are chiefly to he as- 
cribed to the want of education." 

What indeed can we look for but wretched- 
ness and guilt from that child that has been left 
by its cruel parents to grow up "darkening in the 
deeper ignorance of mankind, with all its jeal- 
ousies, and its narrow-mindedness, and its super- 
stitions, and its penury of enjoyments, poor amid 
the intellectual and moral riches of the universe ; 
blind in this splendid temple which God has light- 
ed up, and famishing amid the profusions of Om- 
nipotence?" And, parents, let me ask you, if 
you thus neglect the proper education of your 
children, and as a consequence, such pauperism 
of estate, of mind, and of morals, come upon 
them, will you not have to answer for all this 
to God? 

" Oh, woe for those who trample on the mind, 
That fearful thing ! They know not what they do, 
Nor what they deal with !" 

Your children, thus neglected, will become vic- 
tims to inordinate passion, without power to 
discern between reality and illusion, ignorant 
of what is true happiness, living for mere sense, 
with their moral nature enclosed in the iron 
mail of superstition, while the good seeds of 
truth sown upon their hearts "wither away, be- 
cause they have no depth of earth." 

Parents cannot, therefore, neglect the educa- 



198 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



tion of their children without incurring disgrace 
and guilt before God and man. They will meet 
a merited retribution both here and hereafter. 
The justice of this is forcibly illustrated in a law 
of the Icelanders, which makes the court inquire, 
when a child is accursed, whether the parents have 
given the offender a good education ? And if not, 
the court inflicts the punishment on the parents. 
This but expresses the higher law of God which 
holds parents responsible for the training of their 
children. Listen to the threatening voice of God 
in history. Crates, an ancient philosopher, used 
to say that if he could reach the highest eminence 
in the city, he would make this proclamation : 
"What mean ye, fellow-citizens, to be so anxious 
after wealth, but so indifferent to your children's 
education ? It is like being solicitous about the 
shoe, but neglecting entirely the foot that is to 
wear it !" 

"We would reiterate that proclamation in this 
age of superior intelligence. To the pious parent 
there is a pleasure in training the young and ten- 
der heart for God. "What a beautiful tribute did 
Thompson yield to this pleasure in the following 
lines : 

" Delightful task ! to rear the tender thought, 
To teach the young idea how to shoot, 
To pour the fresh instruction o'er the mind, 
To breathe enlivening spirit, and to fix 
The generous purpose in the glowing breast !" 

But home-education, at the present day, is as 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



199 



much abused as it is neglected. The criminality 
of the former is perhaps greater than that of the 
latter. This may have more reference to the fe- 
male than to the male portion of the family. 
The abuse here consists of the want of a training 
up to wisdom. ¥e see this in what is called the 
fashionable, instead of the Christian, education, 
received at some of our fashionable boarding 
schools. Here the child is sent with no home- 
training whatever, to be trained up a fashionable 
doll, fit to be played with and dandled upon the 
arms of a whining and heartless society, with no 
preparation for companionship in life, destitute 
of substantial character, with undoctrinated feel- 
ings of aversion to religion, fit only for a puppet 
show in some gay and thoughtless circle ; kneel- 
ing before fashion as her God, and giving her 
hand in marriage only to a golden and a gilded 
calf. 

According to this abuse of home-education, " a 
young maiden is kept in the nursery and the 
school room, like a ship on the stocks, while she 
is furbished with abundance of showy accom- 
plishments, and is launched like the ship, look- 
ing taut and trim, but empty of everything 
that can make her useful." Thus one great 
abuse of home-education is to substitute the 
boarding school for home-culture, — to send our 
children to such school at an age when they 
should be trained by and live under the direct 
influence of the parent. This generally ends 
in initiated profligacy, and alienation from home, 



200 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



while at best but a dunce after his course of train- 
ing is ended. 

" "Would you your son should be a sot and a dunce, 
Lascivious, headstrong, or all these at once ? 
Train him in public with a mob of boys, 
Childish in mischief only and in noise." 

Too often is it the case that the artifices and 
refinements of our fashionable boarding schools, 
have a most withering influence upon body, mind 
and soul, enfeebling and distorting the body, pro- 
ducing depraved stomachs, whimsical nerves, pee- 
vish tempers, indolent minds, and depraved mor- 
als. They become but wrecks of what they were 
when they first entered the school. This has 
been called "the stiff and starched system of 
muslin education," and is the nursery of pale, 
sickly, listless, peevish children. 

But this is not the only abuse of home-educa- 
tion. Even when the training is begun at home, 
the very idea of education is - often abused, be- 
cause inefficient, destitute of true moral elements, 
and partial both as to the mode and as to the sub- 
stance of it. The "true resources of life are not 
developed; there is no instruction given in the 
principles and conditions of temporal and eternal 
well-being; there is no discipline of the mind, 
or body or morals. But the great idea and aim 
of education with many parents now, is to teach 
the child to read and write and cipher as a means 
of making money and getting along in this world, 
— not, of course, to prevent them from cheating 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



201 



others, but others from cheating them. All is 
prostituted to money and business. Character 
and happiness are left out of view. "What have 
our schools now to do with the propensities, ap- 
petites, temperaments, habits and character of 
the pupils ? And how are the parents who send 
their children to school to have them trained up 
with reference to these ! All that is now looked 
at, is that learning which will fit the child for 
business. As a consequence most of our schools 
are a disgrace to the very name of education. 
More evil actually results from them than good. 
The mind and heart are injured, — the one but 
half trained; the other corrupted. Mental and 
moral training are divorced ; hence one-sided, 
and the very end of education defeated. The 
child has no incentive to a virtuous and a noble 
life, and sinks down to the groveling drudgery 
of money-making. It is educated for nature, but 
not for God, — for this, but not for the next life. 

If we would not abuse home-education we must 
not separate the moral from the mental, — the sec- 
ular from the religious ; for in doing so, we ex- 
pose the child to rationalism and infidelity on the 
one hand, and to superstition and spiritualism on 
the other. This course is generally taken by par- 
ents when they educate their children for mere 
worldly utility and fashion, when they have not 
the welfare of the soul in view, and look only to 
the advantage of the body. 

The duty then of Christian parents to give 
their children a true home-education may be seen 
*9 



202 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



from the consequences of its neglect and abuse on 
the one hand, and from its value and importance 
on the other. They should furnish them. with all 
the necessary means, opportunities, and direc- 
tions, of a Christian education. Give them prop- 
er books. "Without books," says the quaint 
Bartholin, " God is silent, justice dormant, sci- 
ence at a stand, philosophy lame, letters dumb, 
and all things involved in Cimmerian darkness." 
Bring them up to the habit of properly reading 
and studying these books. "A reading people 
will soon become a thinking people, and a think- 
ing people must soon become a great people." 
Every book you furnish your child, and which it 
reads with reflection is "like a cast of the weav- 
er's shuttle, adding another thread to the inde- 
structible web of existence." It will be worth 
more to him than all your hoarded gold and sil- 
ver. Make diligent use of those great auxiliaries 
to home-education, which the church has institut- 
ed, such as Sabbath schools, bible classes and 
catechisation. 

Home-education does not imply a system of 
parental training isolated from the educational 
ministrations of the church; but is churchly in 
its spirit and in all its parts, and should in all 
respects be connected with the church. Home- 
training is a duty you owe to the church. By 
virtue of youu relation to her, she has the au- 
thority to demand of you such a training of your 
child; and by virtue of your relation to the 
child, he has a right to such an education, and 



HOME-EDUCATION. 



203 



can demand it from you. It stands on the basis 
of parental duty imposed on you by God Him- 
self. It is a prime necessity. It is your chil- 
dren's birthright, which they themselves cannot 
sell with impunity, for the pottage of gold or sil- 
ver or pleasure : neither can you neglect or abuse 
it without guilt before God. 

It is, therefore, a duty which you cannot shake 
off, and which involves both for you and for your 
child, the most momentous consequences. Chris- 
tian parents ! be faithful to this duty. Magnify 
your office as a teacher ; be faithful to your 
household as a school. Diligently serve your 
children as the pupils that God has put under 
your care. Educate them for Him. Teach them 
to "walk by faith, not by sight."' Cultivate in 
them a sense of the unseen world, — the feeling 
of the actual influence of the Spirit of God, the 
guardianship of his holy angels, and of the com- 
munion of saints. Teach them how to live and 
how to die ; and by the force of your own holy 
example allure them to the cross, and lead them 
onward and upward in the living way of eternal 
life. You are encouraged to do so by the assur- 
ance of God that "when they grow old they will 
not depart from it." 



CHAPTER XVII. 



FAMILY HABITS. 

" Dost thou live, man, dost thou live, or only breathe and 
labor? 

Art thou free, or enslaved to a routine, the daily machinery 
of habit? 

For one man is quickened into life, where thousands exist 

as in a torpor, 
Feeding, toiling, sleeping, an insensate weary round ; 
The plough, or the ledger, or the trade, with animal cares 

and indolence, 

Make the mass of vital years a heavy lump unleavened." 

Much of the character, usefulness and happi- 
ness of home depend upon home habits. "No one 
is without habits, good or bad. They have much 
to do with our welfare here and hereafter. Hence 
the importance of establishing proper habits. 

Habit is a state of any thing, implying some 
continuance or permanence. It may be formed 
by nature or induced by extraneous circumstances. 
It is a settled disposition of the mind or body, in- 
volving an aptitude for the performance of certain 



FAMILY HABITS. 



205 



actions, acquired by custom or frequent repeti- 
tion. There are habits of the body, of the rnincl, 
of action; physical, mental, moral and religious 
habits. All these are included in the term home- 
habits. 

Habit has been considered an "ultimate fact," 
that is, one of those qualities of life which are 
found to exist, and beyond which no investiga- 
tion can be made. Habit may be referred to the 
law of action which pervades all vital being. iSTa- 
ture demands the repetition of vital action, and 
habit arises from this demand and from the man- 
ner in which it is supplied. It is the fruit of 
the operation of the law of repetition of action 
in all life. Hence it is, that habit becomes a 
part of our very existence, and that the well- 
being and happiness of our existence depend so 
much upon it. 

The facility of action depends upon habit. In 
proportion as the actions of life become a habit, 
they will be easily performed, and performed with 
pleasure. The capacity to establish habits is the 
consequence of the power given us to promote 
our own welfare. This capacity is designed to 
bind us to that course of action which will accom- 
plish the purposes of our existence. If rightly 
used, it is the guardian of our happiness ; but if 
misused it will be our certain ruin. It will de- 
light and fascinate until it subjugate our will, and 
lead us on, as in the case of the drunkard and the 
gambler, to infamy and to hell. 

Home-habits are easily formed and established. 



206 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Some kind, either good or bad, are being estab- 
lished every day. They are often secretly and un- 
consciously formed. All the principles and rules 
of conduct there introduced become at once the 
nuclei of future habits. These increase in pow- 
er and supremacy as they are formed. We see 
this in the use of tobacco and intoxicating drink. 
These are, at first, disagreeable, and the victim 
has the power of repelling and overcoming them ; 
but soon the habit is formed, when their use be- 
comes pleasant, and he is made a willing slave to 
them. 

The same may be said of the habits of indus- 
try, of study, of frugality, yea, of all the moral 
and religious acts of the Christian. It is easy to 
form such habits in children. Evil habits are 
more easily established, because we are naturally 
inclined to all evil; and when once formed, no 
parental interposition can break them up. Hence 
the importance of an early training up to good. 
If parents but leave their children to their own 
ways, they will run into evil habits ; for sin is an 
epidemic. Profanity and falsehood and all other 
outrages against God will soon become the con- 
trolling habits of their lives. But when taken 
early, parents have complete power over their 
offspring. It is, therefore, a gross abuse of the 
Christian home when parents become indifferent 
to the formation of habits. It is their duty to 
crush every evil habit in its incipient state. 

The forming of a good habit may not at first be 
congenial with our feelings. It may be irksome. 



FAMILY HABITS. 



207 



But if we persevere in it, that which at first was 
painful and difficult will soon be a source of en- 
joyment. Thus the habit of family prayer may at 
first be repulsive even to the Christian parent ; a 
feeling of delicacy and the sense of unworthiness 
may, at the family altar, repress the feelings of en- 
joyment experienced in the closet; but soon the 
habit of this devotion will be formed, when it 
will be enjoyed as an essential part of home. To 
abandon it would be like breaking up the tender- 
est ties which bind the members together. The 
same may be said of the omission of a duty. 
How easily can the Christian form the habit of 
omitting family prayer or any other duty ! Every 
such omission but forms and increases the habit, 
until it gains an ascendancy over our sense of 
duty, and at last exhibits its sovereign power in 
our total abandonment of the duty. Each omis- 
sion has the power of reproducing itself in other 
and more frequent omissions. In this way Chris- 
tian homes insensibly become unfaithful to their 
high vocation, and degenerate finally into com- 
plete apathy and estrangement from God. That 
indulgence which the misguided sympathy of too 
many parents prompts to, and which does away 
with all parental restraint, is the cause of children 
coming under the curse of evil habits. In this 
way parents often contribute to the temporal and 
eternal ruin of their offspring. This indulgence 
is no evidence of tender love, but of parental in- 
fatuation. It shows a blind and unholy love,— a 
love which owns no law, which is governed by no 



208 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



sense of duty, and which excludes all discipline ; 
and hence unlike the love of God, who "chas- 
tiseth every one whom He loveth and receiveth." 

The force and influence of home-habits will 
teach us the importance of establishing such only 
as receive the sanction of God. Habits, as we 
have seen, are much more easily formed than 
broken. When once established they enslave us 
to them, and subject our character to their iron 
despotism. They become the channel through 
which our life flows. The stream of our exist- 
ence first forms the channel, and then the chan- 
nel rules, guides and controls the current of the 
stream. The deeper the channel is wrought, the 
greater is its moulding and controlling influence 
over the stream. Thus our habits become our 
masters, and are the irrevocable rulers of our life. 
This is true of good as well as of bad habits. We 
come into voluntary subjection to them, until we 
shrink from the first proposal to depart from them. 

"Habit," says the Rev. C. C. Colton, "will rec- 
oncile us to everything but change, and even to 
change, if it recur not too quickly. Milton, there- 
fore, makes his hell an ice-house, as well as an 
oven, and freezes his devils at one period, but 
bakes them at another. The late Sir George 
Staunton informed me, that he had visited a 
man in India, who had committed a murder, 
and in order not only to save his life, but what 
was of much more consequence, his caste, he sub- 
mitted to the penalty imposed ; this was, that he 
should sleep for seven years on a bedstead, with- 



FAMILY HABITS. 



209 



out any mattress, the whole surface of which was 
studded with points of iron resembling nails, but 
not so sharp as to penetrate the flesh. Sir George 
saw him in the fifth year of his probation, and his 
skin then was like the hide of a rhinoceros, but 
more callous. At that time, however, he could 
sleep comfortably on his bed of thorns, and re- 
marked that at the expiration of the term of his 
sentence, he should most probably continue that 
system from choice, which he had been obliged to 
adopt from necessity." 

This illustrates the force of established habit, 
and the pliability of our nature in yielding a vol- 
untary subjection to it. "What is at first involun- 
tary, painful, and a self-denial to us, will, when it 
passes into a habit, become agreeable, because the 
habit bends our nature to it, chains us down to it, 
infatuates the will, and thus becomes, as it were, 
a second nature. If so, it is very plain that our 
habits are either a blessing or a curse. When 
good, they are a safeguard against evil, give sta- 
bility to our character, and are the law of perse- 
verance in well-doing. Such habits in the Chris- 
tian home form an irresistible bulwark against the 
intrusions of temptation and iniquity. But when 
they are bad, they chain us to evil, and impel us 
onward and downward to ruin. Hence from his 
habits we can easily estimate the merit or demerit 
of a person, know all his weak points and idiosyn- 
crasies, and what will be the probable termination 
of his existence. 

The same may be said of the habits of a fam- 



210 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ily. They enterj into its very constitution, rule 
and direct all its activities and interests. They 
cling to each member with more than magic pow- 
er, and become interwoven with his very being ; 
and by them we may easily ascertain the moral 
and spiritual strength of that family ; we can tell 
whether the parents are faithful to their mission, 
and whether its members will be likely to pass 
over from the home of their childhood to the 
church of Christ. Who has not felt this power 
of habit? Who has not wept over some habits 
which haunt him like an evil spirit ; and rejoiced 
over others as a safeguard from sin and a propel- 
lor to good ? Is it not, therefore, a matter of mo- 
mentous interest to the Christian home, that it 
establish habits of the right kind and quality ? 

It should never be forgotten by Christian par- 
ents, and they cannot be too careful to impress it 
upon their children, that habit engenders habit, — 
has the power of reproducing itself, and begetting 
habits of its own kind, increasing, according to 
the laws of growth, as it is thus reproduced. A 
habit in one member of a family may produce a 
like habit in all the other members. The habits 
of the husband mav be engendered in the wife, 
and those of the parents, in their children. If 
so, then are we not responsible for our habits ? 
And shall any other kind save Christian habits, 
be found in the Christian home ? These we can- 
not give in detail. It is plain that those habits 
only are Christian, which receive the sanction of 
God's Word and Spirit, and find a response in 



FAMILY HABITS. 



211 



the Christian faith and conscience. Here, for in- 
stance, is a habit being formed, — habit of thought : 
is it pure ? Here is a habit of conversation : is it 
holy? Here is a habit of action: is it godly? 
And if not, it does not belong to the Christian 
home. 

See, then, ye members of the Christian home, 
to the habits you are forming. Form the habit 
of "doing all things decently and in order." Let 
the work and duties of each day be done accord- 
ing to method. This is essential to success in your 
pursuits and aims. Without this, your Christian 
life may be blustering and stormy, but you will 
accomplish little, and will be as unstable as water. 
One duty will interfere with another. You may 
have family prayer and instruction to-day, but 
something will prevent it to-morrow. Establish 
the habit of Christian industry. Be diligent ; not 
slothful in business. Industry must be the price 
of all you obtain. You must be instant in sea- 
son. The Christian home cannot be an indolent, 
idle home. "Whatsoever thy hand nndeth to do, 
do it with all thy might. Press forward. 

It is said of Rutherford that " such was his un- 
wearied assiduity and diligence, that he seemed 
to pray constantly, to preach constantly, to cate- 
chise constantly,' and to visit the sick, exhorting 
from house to house, to teach as much in the 
schools, and spend as much time with the stu- 
dents, in fitting them for the ministry, as if he 
had been sequestered from all the world, and yet 
withal, to write as much as if he had been coii- 



212 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



stantly shut up in his study." Such should be 
the industry of each Christian home. "Without 
it, temptation will beset the members. " A busy 
man is troubled with but one devil, but the idle 
man with a thousand." 

Establish the habit also of perseverance in well- 
doing. " Be steadfast, immovable, always abound- 
ing in the work of the Lord." ^Be not weary 
in well-doing." Let the strata of your home be 
made up of the immovable Rock. He only that 
continueth unto the end shall be saved. Having 
done all, stand ! Let your motto be, Per sever- 
ando vinces. Form the habit of contentment with 
your home and condition in life. " G-odliness 
with contentment is great gain." If your home 
is humble, and not adorned with the embellish- 
ments and luxuries of life, yet it may be holy, and 
hence, happy. Avoid all castle-building. Do not 
fancy a better home, and fall out with the one 
you enjoy. Never permit the flimsy creations of 
a distorted imagination to gain an ascendancy 
over your reason and faith. Live above all sen- 
timentalism and day-dreaming ; and in all the feel- 
ings and conduct of your household, submit to the 
guidance of a superintending Providence, walking 
by faith and not by sight, assured that your pres- 
ent home is but probationary and preparatory to 
a better home in heaven. 



CHAPTER XVIIL 



HOME-GOVERNMENT. 

" Alas t for a thousand fathers, whose indulgent sloth 

Hath emptied the vial of confusion over a thousand homes ; 

Alas ! for the palaces and hovels, that might have been nurs- 
eries for heaven, 

By hot intestine broils blighted into schools for hell ; 

None knoweth his place, yet all refuse to serve, 

None weareth the crown, yet all usurp the scepter ; 

The mother, heart-stricken years agone, hath dropped into an 
early grave ; 

The silent sisters long to leave a home they cannot love ; 
The brothers, casting off restraint, follow their wayward 
wills." 

Home is a little commonwealth jointly gov- 
erned by the parents. It involves law. The 
mutual relation of parent and child implies au- 
thority on the one hand, and obedience on the 
other. This is the principle of all government. 
Home is the first form of society. As such it 
must have a government. Its institution implies 
the prerogatives of the parent and the subordina- 



214 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

tion of the child. Without this there would be 
no order, no harmony, no training for the state or 
the church ; for — 

"Society is a chain of obligations, and its links support each 
other ; 

The branch cannot but wither that is cut from the parent 

vine." 

The relation of the parent to the child is that of 
a superior to an inferior. The right of the par- 
ent is to command; the duty of the child is to 
obey. Hence it is the relation of authority to 
subordination. This relation includes the princi- 
ples of home-government. The parent is not the 
author of his authority. It is delegated to him. 
Neither can he make arbitrary laws for home ; 
these must be the laws of God. It is as much 
the duty of the parent to rule as it is for the 
child to be ruled. 

The principle of home-government is love, — - 
love ruling and obeying according to law. These 
are exercised, as it were, by the instinct of natu- 
ral affection as taken up and refined by the Chris- 
tian life and faith. This government implies reci- 
procity of right, — the right of the parent to gov- 
ern and the right of the child to be governed. It 
is similar in its fundamentals to the government of 
the state and church. It involves the legislative, 
judicial and executive functions ; its elements are 
law, authority, obedience, and penalties. The ba- 
sis of its laws is the "Word of God. "We may con- 
sider the whole subject under two general heads, 
viz., parental authority, and filial obedience. 



HOME-GOVERNMENT. 



215 



1. Parental authority is threefold, legislative, 
judicial and executive. The two latter we shall 
more fully consider under the head of home-dis- 
cipline. The legislative authority of the parent 
is confined to the development of God's laws for 
the Christian home. He cannot enact arbitrary 
laws. His authority is founded on his relation 
to his children as the author of their being ; " yet 
it does not admit," says Schlegel, "of being set 
forth and comprised in any exact and positive 
formularies." It does not, as in the old Roman 
law, concede to the parent the power over the life 
of the child. This would not only violate the law 
of natural affection, but would be an amalgama- 
tion of the family and state. Neither is the pa- 
rental authority merely conventional, given to the 
parent by the state as a policy. It is no civil or 
political investiture, making the parent a dele- 
gated civil ruler; but comes from God as an in- 
alienable right, and independent, as such, of the 
state. It does not, therefore, rest upon civil legis- 
lation, but has its foundation in human nature and 
the revealed law of God; neither can the state 
legislate upon it, except in cases where its exer- 
cise becomes an infringement upon the preroga- 
tives of the state itself. 

Parents are magistrates under God, and, as His 
stewards, cannot abdicate their authority, nor del- 
egate it to another. Neither can they be tyrants 
in the exercise of it. God has given to them the 
principles of home-legislation, the standard of ju- 
dicial authority, and the rules of their executive 



216 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



power. God gives the law. The parent is only 
deputy governor, — steward, "bound to be faith- 
ful." Hence the obligation of the child to obey 
the steward is as great as that to obey the Master. 
" Where the principal is silent, take heed that 
thou despise not the deputy." 

Here, then, we have the extent of the parent's 
authority, and the spirit and manner in which it 
should be exercised. His power is grafted on the 
strength of another, and should not extend beyond 
it. Its exercise should not run into despotism on 
the one hand, nor into indifferentisni on the other. 
According to the vagaries of some religious sen- 
timentalists and fanatics, it is supposed that re- 
ligion supersedes the necessity of parental gov- 
ernment. They think that such authority runs 
counter to the spirit and requisitions of the gos- 
pel. But this is asserted in the broad face of 
God's "Word. The promptings of such send- 
mentalism are to permit children to do as they 
please, and to bring them up under the influence 
of domestic libertinism. Honor thy father and 
thy mother, is a command which explodes such 
a gaudy theory ; and he who does not obey it, bru- 
talizes human nature, dishonors God, subverts the 
principles of constitutional society, throws off al- 
legiance to the prerogatives of a divinely consti- 
tuted superior, and overthrows both church and 
state. Hence the severe penalties attached, in the 
Mosaic law, to disobedience of parental authority. 
"He that curseth his father or mother, shall surely 
be put to death." " The eye that mocketh at his 



HOME-GOVERNMENT. 



217 



father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ra- 
vens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young 
eagles shall eat it." And hence also that affec- 
tionate obedience which Joseph yielded to his 
aged father, and that profound veneration with 
which he kneeled before him to receive his dying 
blessing. 

2. Filial obedience zs the correlative of pa- 
rental authority. If parents have authority, chil- 
dren must yield obedience to it. This is not 
only necessary to home-government, but also to 
the proper formation of the character of the child. 
It must be trained up under law and authority to 
prepare it for citizenship in the state. This must 
be the obedience of confidence and love. It does 
not imply the subordination of the slave. 

As the father's authority is not that of the des- 
pot, so the obedience of the child is not that of 
the servile, trembling subject. It is not unnatu- 
ral, — no infringement upon the rights and liber- 
ties of the child. His subordination to the par- 
ent is the law of his liberty. He is not free with, 
out it. The home in which filial obedience is no\, 
yielded to parental authority is "a marvel of per- 
mitted chaos," and will soon become desolate, a 
scene of anarchy and strife. The members live 
in a state of lawlessness, destitute of reciprocated 
affection, — the parent unhonored, the father and 
mother despised and cursed, and the child un- 
trained, uncared for, lawless, and unfit for the 
state or the church. 

If, therefore, God has constituted governmental 
10 



218 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



relations in the Christian home, and invested the 
parent with authority over his children, who will 
deny the coordinate obligations of the child to 
yield reverence, submission and gratitude to the 
parent ? " Children, obey your parents in all 
t things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." 

This is called the first commandment with 
promise. It is one of promise both to the par- 
ent and the , child. Children are bound to obey 
their parents in all things, that is, in all things 
lawful and in accordance with the revealed will 
of God. The child is not bound to obey, the par- 
ent's command to sin, — to lie, steal, or neglect the 
means of grace ; because these are express viola- 
tions of God's law; and in such instances the 
authority of God supersedes that of the parent. 
Obey God rather than man. 

But, on the other hand, the obligation of the 
child is, to obey the parent in all things lawful 
and Christian. Where this is not done the Chris- 
tian home becomes a curse. What an evil is a 
refractory child ! How often does the parental eye 
weep in bitterness over such a child ! How often 
have such children brought their parents down 
in sorrow to the grave ! Let them think of this. 
JLet parents think of this before it is too late. 
Let them think of the fearful criminality which 
is attached to parental indulgence and filial diso- 
bedience. 

We may neglect and abuse the home-govern- 
ment in two ways, either by over-indulgence, or 
by the iron rod of tyranny. When we make it 



HOME-GOVERNMENT. 



219 



lax in its restraints and requisitions, it becomes 
merely nominal, and its laws are never enforced 
and obeyed. Often parents voluntarily relinquish, 
their right and duty to rule their household ; and 
as a consequence, their children abandon the duty 
of obedience, and grow up in a lawless state ; or if 
they do command, they never execute their com- 
mands, but leave all to the discretion of tlieir chil- 
dren. They violate tlieir laws with' impunity, un- 
til all influence over them is lost, and the child 
becomes master of the parent. The self-will of 
the former takes the place of tlie authority of the 
latter, until at last, the home-government becomes 
a complete farce and mockery. Such parents are 
always making laws and giving commands ; but 
never enforce them ; they complain that they can- 
not get their children to obey them ; and this can- 
not is but the utterance and exponent of their un- 
faithfulness and disgrace. 

The opposite abuse of home-government is 
parental despotism, — ruling with a rod of iron, 
making slaves of children, acting the unfeeling 
and heartless tyrant over them, assuming towards 
them attitudes of hard task-masters, and making 
them obey from motives of trembling, fear and 
dread. 

There is no Christianity in all this. It engen- 
ders in them the spirit of a slave ; it roots out all 
confidence and love ; their obedience becomes in- 
voluntary and mechanical. They shrink in silent 
dread from the presence of their parents, and long 
for the time when they can escape their galling 



220 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



yoke. The parental rod destroys the filial love 
and confidence. Hence the obedience of the lat- 
ter is servile ; and home loses its tender affections 
and sympathies, and becomes to them a work- 
house, a confinement ; its restrictions are a yoke ; 
its interests are repulsive, and all its natural affin- 
ities give way to complete alienation. The chil- 
dren of such homes, when grown up, are the most 
lawless and reckless, ready at once to pass over 
from extreme servitude to libertinism. 

The government of the Christian home lies in a 
medium between these two extremes. It is mild, 
yet decisive, firm : not lawless, yet not despotic ; 
but combines in proper order and harmony, the 
true elements of parental authority and filial sub- 
ordination. Love and fear harmonize ; the child 
fears because he loves ; and is prompted to obe- 
dience by both. "But give thy son his way, he 
will hate thee and scorn thee together." 

Christian parents ! be. faithful to the govern- 
ment of your household. Like Abraham, com- 
mand your household. Without this, your chil- 
dren will be your curse and the curse of the state. 
"Wherever they go they will become the standard- 
bearer of the turbulent, and brandish the torch of 
discord, until at last, perhaps, they will die in a 
dungeon or upon the gibbet. And then the curse 
will recoil upon you. It will strike deep into your 
hearts. It will come to you in the darkness of un- 
fulfilled promises and blighted hopes and injured 
affections and desolated homes and wounded spir- 
its and disgraced names and infamous memories ! 



HOME-GOVERNMENT. 



221 



And you, in the face of these, will go down with 
bleeding sorrow to the grave, and up to the bar of 
God with the blood of your children's destruction 
upon your skirts, its voice crying unto you from 
the grave of infamy and from the world of eternal 
retribution. You will then see the folly and the 
fruits of your diseased affection and misguided in- 
dulgence, — 

"A kindness,— most unkind, that hath always spared the 
rod; 

A weak and numbing indecision in the mind that should be 
master ; 

A foolish love, pregnant of hate, that never frowned on sin ; 
A moral cowardice, that never dared command !" 



CHAPTER XIX. 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 

" In ancient days, 
There dwelt a sage called Discipline, 
His eye was meek, and a smile 
Played on his lips, and in his speech was heard 
Paternal sweetness, dignity, and love. 
The occupation dearest to his heart 
Was to encourage goodness. 
If e'er it chanced, as sometimes chance it must, 
That one, among so many, overleaped 
The limits of control, his gentle eye 
Grew stern, and darted a severe rebuke, 
His frown was full of terror, and his voice 
Shook the delinquent with such fits of awe 
As left him not, till penitence had won 
Lost favor back again, and closed the breach.'' 

Discipline involves the judicial and execu- 
tive functions of the home-government. It is 
the method of regulating and executing the prin- 
ciples and practice of government. It includes 
the rein and the rod, the treatment of offences 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 223 

against the laws of home, the execution of the 
parental authority by the imposition of proper 
restraints upon the child. It involves a reciproc- 
ity of duty, — the duty of the parent to correct, 
and the duty of the child to submit. God has 
given this discipline ; He has invested the parent 
with power to execute it, and imposed upon the 
child the obligation to live submissively under it. 

All must admit the necessity of home-discipline. 
"It must needs be that offense come." There is 
a corresponding needs be in the proper treatment 
of these offenses when they do come. Law im- 
plies penalties ; and the proper character and exe- 
cution of these are as essential to the true object 
and end of government as is the law itself. The 
former would be powerless without the latter. 
Through the agency of home-discipline the proper 
fear and love of the child are developed in due 
proportion and brought into proper relations to 
each other, making the fear filial and the love 
reverential. There is, therefore, the same call for 
discipline in the family as there is in the state and 
the church. It is the condition of true harmony 
between the parent and child. " The child that is 
used to constraint, feareth not more than he loveth ; 
but give thy son his way, he will hate thee and 
scorn thee together." 

It is necessary because God commands it ; and 
He commands it because it is indispensable to the 
security and well-being of the child, and, we might 
add, of the state and the church. " "Withhold not 
correction from the child; for if thou beatest him 



224 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat 
him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from 
hell. He that spareth his rod hateth his son ; but 
he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. " 
Children are by nature depraved, and if left to 
themselves, will choose evil rather than good ; 
hence, as foolishness is bound up in the heart of 
a child, the rod of correction must be used to 
drive them from it. He must be restrained, cor- 
rected, educated under law. In the language of 
Cowper — 

" Plants raised with tenderness are seldom strong ; 
Man's coltish disposition asks the thong ; 
And without discipline, the favorite child, 
Like a neglected forester, runs wild." 

There are two false systems of home-discipline, 
viz., the despotism of discipline, or discipline from 
the standpoint of law without love ; and the lib- 
ertinism of discipline, or discipline from the stand- 
point of love without law. 

Home-discipline from the standpoint of law 
without love, involves the principle of parental 
despotism. It is extreme legal severity, and con- 
sists in the treatment of children as if they were 
brutes, using no other mode of correction than 
that of direct corporeal punishment. This but 
hardens them, and begets a roughness of nature 
and spirit like the discipline under which they are 
brought up. Many parents seek to justify such 
mechanical severity by the saying of Solomon, 
" he that spareth the rod spoileth the child." But 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



225 



their interpretation of this does not show the wis- 
dom of the wise man. They suppose the term 
rod, must mean the iron rod of the unfeeling and 
unloving despot. Not so ; God has a rod for all 
His children ; but it is the rod of a compassionate 
Father, and does not always inflict corporeal pun- 
ishment. It is exercised because He loves them, 
not because He .delights in revenge and in their 
misery. He uses it, not to have them obey Him 
from fear of punishment, not to force them into a 
slavish service, and £o cause them to shrink with 
trembling awe from His presence ; but to correct 
their faults by drawing them to Him in fond em- 
brace, in grateful penitence and hopeful reforma- 
tion, under the deep conviction that every stroke 
of His rod was the work of love, forcing from 
them a kiss for His rod, and a blessing for His 
liand, the utterance of a sanction for His deed, 
" It was good for me that I was afflicted !" 

This rod is very different, however, from that 
of the despot beneath whom the child crouches 
with trembling dread, and under the influence of 
whom he becomes, like the down-trodden subject, 
servile, brutish and rebellious. You will reap 
bitter fruits from such a discipline, which is but 
the exponent of the letter of the law without its 
spirit, and which has nothing for the child but the 
scowl and the frown and the cruel lash. You 
might as well seek to "gather grapes from thorns, 
or figs from thistles," as to reap from it a true ref- 
ormation and religious training. Your child will 
be trained to hate the law, to despise authority, 
*10 



226 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and to regard his obedience as a compromise of 
true liberty. He will, therefore, seek liberty only 
in the usurpation of laAV and government. He 
will contemn love, because where it should have 
been disinterested, and shown in its greatest ten- 
derness and purity, — in the parent's heart, it was 
abused and silenced. 

That discipline, therefore, which is ever magni- 
fying trifles, finding fault, scolding and storming, 
and threatening and whipping, and falling upon 
the child, like the continual dropping of rain in a 
winter day, casts a withering gloom over home, 
makes it repulsive to the child, gives to the parent 
a forbidding aspect, until the children become 
provoked to wrath, and regard their home as a 
prison, their life as a slavery, and long for the time 
when they may leave home and parents forever. 
Such discipline makes the reign of the parent # 
reign of terror. It reminds one of the laws of 
Draco, written in blood. It produces in the child 
a broken spirit, a reckless desperation, a hardened 
contumacy, a deep and sullen melancholy, a men- 
tal and moral hardihood which prepares him for 
deeds of outrage upon law and humanity. It is 
unnatural, revolting to human nature, to beat and 
crush, as if with an iron rod, the tender child of our 
hearts and hopes. It extinguishes natural affec- 
tion ; and no subsequent kindness can rekindle the 
flame. The child becomes forever alienated, and 
bears the curse of its maltreatment upon its char- 
acter and destiny. " Ye parents, provoke not your 
children to anger, lest they should be discouraged." 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



227 



The following quaint anecdote is a good com- 
mentary upon such discipline: A blacksmith 
brought up his son, to whom he was very severe, 
to his own trade. The urchin was, nevertheless, 
an audacious dog. One day the old vulcan was 
attempting to harden a cold chisel which he had 
made of foreign steel, but could not succeed; 
"horsewhip it, father," exclaimed the youth, "if 
that will not harden it, nothing will !" 

Nothing justifies such cruel discipline. It re- 
sults in depravity of life. The most notorious 
criminals began their career under the lash of pa- 
rental cruelty. If rods and stripes and cries and 
tears and cruel beating are the first lessons of life 
we are to learn, then we shall be educated in as 
well as by these. The Europeans surpass all oth- 
er nations in cruelty to their offspring. The Arab 
is tender to his children, and rules them by kind- 
ness and caresses. He restrains them by the cor- 
rections of wisely exerted love. Cruelty does not 
become the Christian home. It is revolting to 
see a parent stand with a rod over his child, to 
make him read the bible or say his prayers. You 
cannot whip religion into a child. This is oppo- 
site to humanity and religion. 

Home-discipline from the standpoint of love 
without law, is the second false system which we 
have mentioned, and involves the principle of pa- 
rental libertinism. It does not consist so much 
in the want as in the neglect and abuse' of disci- 
pline. The restraints may be sufficient, and the 
threats abundant, but they are never executed. 



228 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



When the children disobey, the parents may 
fiounder and storm, lond and long, but all ends in 
words, in a storm of passion or whining com- 
plaint, and the child is thus encouraged to repeat 
the misconduct, feeling that his parents have no 
respect for their word. Such a home becomes 
scolding, but not an orderly home. 

"Discipline at length, 
O'erlooked and unemployed, grew sick and died, 
Then study languished, emulation slept, 
And virtue fled. What was learned, 
If aught was learned in childhood, is forgot ; 
And such expense as pinches parents blue, 
And mortifies the liberal hand of love, 
Is squandered in pursuit of idle sports 
And vicious pleasures/ ' 

Parents, through their misguided sympathy, 
often connive at filial d isobedience. Their kind- 
ness is most unkind. Their parental love issues 
forth as a mere burst of feeling, unguided by 
either reason or law. Hence, their sentimental 
hearts become an asylum for filial delinquency and 
criminality. This is no proof of love, but the op- 
posite; for "he that spareth the rod hateth his 
son; but he that love'li him chasteneth him be- 
times." Love will thus prompt the parent to 
chasten his son while there is hope. Eli was an 
example of extreme parental indulgence. " His 
sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them 
not." It was the defect also of David's discipline, 
and the fruit of this defect caused him to cry out 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



229 



in bitter anguish, " Ob. Absalom, my son, my son, 
would to God I bad died for thee !" 

That parent who cannot restrain his children, 
does not bear rule in his house, and as a conse- 
quence, cannot bless his household. That parent- 
al tenderness which withholds the proper re- 
straints of discipline from an erring child, is most 
cruel and ruinous. It is winking at his wayward 
temper, his licentious passions and growing habits 
of vice. And these, in their terrible maturity, 
will recoil upon the deluded parent, " biting like 
a serpent and stinging like an adder." Nothing 
is more ruinous to a child and disastrous to the 
hopes and happiness of home, than such relaxation 
of discipline. " A child left to himself bringeth 
his mother to shame." How many mothers have 
bitterly experienced this, and wept bitter tears 
over the memory of their degraded and wretched 
offspring ! It is ruinous to the parent. He will 
both curse and despise thee. Your unlawful in- 
dulgence, therefore, is infanticide. Your cruel 
embraces are hugging your child to death. The 
sentiment of love should never crush the reason 
and violate the laws of love. Do you permit your 
sick to die rather than to inflict the pain of giving 
them the medicine to cure ? This would be mad- 
ness. And yet you do a similar deed when you 
indulge your child in wickedness. He will grow 
up lawless, headstrong, rebellious ; and these may 
lead him on to poverty, infamy, crime and perdi- 
tion, ending thus in total shipwreck of character 
and soul. You thus make for society bad mem- 



230 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



bers, drunkards, blackguards, paupers, criminals ; 
and furnish fuel for the eternal burnings. And 
will not the curse rest upon you ? 

It is wonderful to what an extent this extreme 
indulgence prevails at the present day. Many 
parents seem insensible even to the necessity of 
any discipline, and think it is an infringement up- 
on the liberties of the child. Mistaken parents ! 
Such views are opposed to the laws of God and 
man. By them you sow for yourselves and chil- 
dren the seeds of a future retribution. 

Thus we see that there are two dangerous ex- 
tremes or false systems of home-discipline, viz., 
the exercise of parental fondness and sympathy 
without parental authority, on the one hand, and 
the exercise of parental authority without proper 
sympathy, on the other. Misguided sympathy and 
fondness will produce filial libertinism ; and des- 
potic authority will beget filial servility. 

True Christian home-discipline lies in a medium 
between these. It involves the union of true pa- 
rental sympathy and authority, of proper love and 
proper law ; for affection, when not united to au- 
thority and law, degenerates into sentimental 
fondness ; and authority and law, when not tem- 
pered with love, degenerate into brutal tyranny > 
and produce inward servility and outward bond> 
age. The parents who are, in discipline, prompted 
by the first, may be loved, but will not be respec- 
ted. Those who are ruled by the second, may be 
dreaded, but will not be loved. The first does 
violence to law, and ends in the insubordination 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



231 



of the child and the imbecility of the parent. 
The second does violence to love, makes duty a 
task, .correction a corporeal punishment, the child 
a slave, the parent a despot, and ends consequent- 
ly in the destruction of natural affection. Hence, 
in home-discipline, true severity and true sympa- 
thy should unite and temper each other. With- 
out this the very ends proposed will be frustrated. 

True home-discipline repudiates the legal idea 
of punishment as much as of impunity. It lies in 
a medium between these, and involves the idea of 
Christian correction or chastisement. We should 
correct, but not punish our children. Correction 
is not the mere execution of legal penalties as 
such, but the fruit of Christian love and concern 
for the child. It does not mean simple corporeal 
chastisement, but moral restraints. The impunity 
is the fruit of love without law; the corporeal 
punishment is the execution of law without love ; 
Christian correction is the interposition of love 
acting according to law in restraining the child. 
Hence, true discipline is the correction of the child 
by the love of the parent, according to the laws 
of home-government. 

Abraham instituted in his household a model 
system of home-discipline. " I know him," says 
God, a that he will command his children and his 
household after him, and they shall keep the ways 
of the Lord to do justice and judgment." He 
was not a tyrant ; his comrades did not bear the 
rough sternness of a despot, neither did his pow- 
er wear the scowl of vengeance. But these bore 



9 



232 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the firmness and decision of love tempered and 
directed by the law of Christian duty and respon- 
sibility. They showed his station as a father ; 
they wore the exponent of his authority as a par- 
ent, whose love was a safeguard against tyranny 
on the one hand, and whose accountability to God 
was a security against anarchy, on the other. 
Hence, his children respected his station, vene- 
rated his name, appreciated his love, confided in 
his sympathy, and yielded a voluntary obedience 
to his commands ; for they discerned in them the 
blessing ; and when offenses came, they bent in 
the spirit of loving submission and pupilage, un- 
der his rod of correction, and kissed it as the 
means of their reformation and culture. 

Thus does home-discipline involve the firmness 
of parental authority united with the mildness of 
parental love. Love should hold the reins and 
use the rod. Then it will purify and elevate nat- 
ural affection, and develop in the child a sense of 
proper fear, without either disrespectful familiar- 
ity or mechanical servitude. 

The efficiency of home-discipline depends upon 
its early introduction, upon the decision with 
which it is administered, upon its adaptation to 
the real wants of the child, and upon the manner 
in which it is applied. 

It should be commenced in due season, as soon 
as the child can understand its meaning and ob- 
ject. The child should be made to understand 
that he lives under authority and restraint. This 
will prepare him for a profitable correction when 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 233 

necessary. The great fault of many parents is 
that they begin too late to correct their children, 
and leave them until then in ignorance of its na- 
ture and intent. Hence, the child will not appre- 
ciate the parent's motive, and will lack that plia- 
bility of spirit which is essential to ' reformation. 
" The sceptre," says James, in his Family Monitor, 
" should be seen by him before the rod; and an 
early, judicious and steady exhibition of the for- 
mer, would render the latter almost unnecessary. 
He must be made to submit, and that while 
young, and then submission will become a habit ; 
the reins must be felt by him early, and he will 
thus learn to obey them." 

Home-discipline should be steady, uniform, con- 
sistent and reasonable. Both parents and children 
should be guided by the dictates of reason and 
religion. It should not be administered by the 
caprice of passion, nor received in the spirit of 
insubordination. It should be prompted by a pa- 
rent's heart, and inflicted by a parent's hand. 
Convince the recreant child that you correct him 
from motives of love, and for his own good. Let 
reason and love be at the bottom of every chas- 
tisement ; let them hold the reins and guide the 
rod ; and when the latter is used, let it be from 
necessity. Lay no injunction upon your child 
without the ensurance of a compliance. 

Your discipline should never involve impossi- 
bilities or uncertainties ; neither should you per- 
mit your child to sport with your injunctions. 
Every command should produce either obedience 



234 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



or correction. You should be firm in the inflic- 
tion of a threatened chastisement, and faithful in 
the fulfilment of a promise to reward. Many par- 
ents are always scolding, threatening and prom- 
ising, but never execute and fulfil. As a conse- 
quence they run from one extreme of discipline 
to another. 

In home-discipline, parents should act harmoni- 
ously and cooperate with each other. They should 
be of one mind and of one heart, and equally bear 
the burden. The one should not oppose the dis- 
cipline which the other is administering. This 
destroys its effect, and leaves the child in a state 
of indecision, leading to prejudice against one or 
the other of the parents. It too often happens 
that parents thus take opposite sides, — the father 
too severe perhaps, and the mother too indulgent. 
Thus divided, their house must fall. Nothing is 
more ruinous to the child than for the mother to 
counteract by soothing opiates, the admonitions 
of the father. Children soon see this, and will as 
soon hate their father. When one parent thus 
holds the reins without 'the rod, and the other 
uses the rod without the reins, the very ends of 
discipline are frustrated. Sometimes the child is 
given over to the mother exclusively till a certain 
age, when the father begins to act without the 
mother. This is wrong. A child is never too 
young to be ruled by the father, and never too 
old to come under the softening influence of the 
mother. 

Discipline should be administered with impar- 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



235 



tiality. Never make one child a favorite. Fa- 
voritism and consequent indulgence, will produce 
prejudice against the other children. It will intro- 
duce dissension among them. This is unworthy 
the Christian parent and his home. The history 
of Jacob and Joseph, as regards both the subject 
and the victim of parental favoritism, is a warning 
against such partiality. It produces, pride, envy, 
jealousy, family broils and strife, in which even 
the parents take a part/and by which the husband 
is often set against his wife, parents against chil- 
dren, and children against each other. 

Correction is an essential element of true disci- 
pline. " The rod and the reproof give wisdom." 
There are two things in correction, — the reins and 
the whip, or the command and the chastisement. 
The one should not take the place of the other. 
The scepter must not be converted into a whip. 
If the reins are properly held and used, the whip 
need scarcely ever be required. If the child is 
timely and properly trained, commanded and 
chided, he will not require much chastisement, 
— perhaps no corporeal punishment. It is better 
to prevent crimes than to punish them ; for pre- 
vention is more than cure. 

Hence the first thing in discipline is timely and 
wholesome command. Guide and train your child 
properly, and you need seldom resort to coercion. 
Training and leading are better than forcing. By 
the former you establish a habit of systematic obe- 
dience which will soon become a pleasure to the 
child. By the latter you jade and vex and burden 



236 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



him. But when the reins will not do alone, then 
the whip must be resorted to. And the question 
at once arises, what kind of a whip ? We answer, 
not such as you use to your horses and oxen in the 
team, — not the horse-whip. Corporeal punish- 
ment should be used only as a last resort, when 
all other corrections have failed, when the child 
becomes an outlaw, and his reprobate heart can be 
reached only through the infliction of bodily pain. 
As a general thing it is even then unavailing, be- 
cause too mechanical to produce permanent good, 
and not adapted to mental and moral reformation. 

Sometimes, however, there is necessity in the 
use of this rod. " Every child," says Dr. South, 
"has some brute in it, and some man in it, and 
just in proportion to the brute we must whip it." 
When thus necessary we should not shrink from 
this kind of correction. "It is pusillanimity, as 
well as folly, to shrink from the crushing of the 
egg, but to wait composedly for the hatching of 
the viper." Yet, on the other hand, in the lan- 
guage of Dr. Bell, " a maximum of attainment 
can be made only by a minimum of punishment." 

In the discipline of home, whether by guid- 
ance or by forcing, whether by the rein or the 
rod, much depends upon the manner in which it 
is administered. It should always be adapted to 
the peculiar character and offense of the child. 
You can restrain some children better by kind 
words and promises than by rough admonitions 
and threats. Study, therefore, the peculiarities 
of your child, and prudently apportion the cor- 



HOME-DISCIPLINE. 



237 



rection to the offense. If there are sincere pen- 
itence and confession, the correction shonld be 
purely moral. Let the object of every correc- 
tion be to produce penitence and reformation of 
heart as well as of conduct, and a hatred of the 
offense. Always execute your threats and fulfill 
your promises at the time and on the occasion 
designated. Threaten as little as possible, and be 
not hasty in your threats. Treat your children as 
rational and moral beings : 

" Be obeyed when thou cominandest, but command not often ; 
Spare not, if thy word hath passed for punishment ; 
Let not thy child see thee humbled, nor learn to think thee 
false." 

Always examine the offense before you punish. 
See whether it is of ignorance or not, — whether 
of the head or the heart, — whether intentional or 
accidental. Examine his motives in committing 
the offense. If you find he merits correction, be- 
fore you inflict it, lay before him the nature and 
enormity of the offense, wherein he disobeyed, the 
guilt of that disobedience, its consequences, and 
your duty to correct him for it. 

Never correct in a state of anger. Some cor- 
rect only when they are in a violent passion. 
This is ruling from passion, not from principle. 
It is like administering medicine scalding hot, 
which rather burns than cures. Be judicious and 
kind in all your discipline ; otherwise you may 
engender in your child the very propensities and 
improprieties of action you desire to eradicate. 



'238 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



A mild rebuke in the season of calmness, is bet- 
ter than a rod in the heat of passion. Let yonr 
children know and see that all your discipline is 
for their own good, — to arrest them from danger 
and ruin, and to train them up in the way God 
would have them go. Let your words and deeds 
show this in the form of parental kindness and 
sympathy and solicitude. This will do more than 
the angry look, the stormy threat, and the cruel 
lash. 

"By kindness the wolf and the zebra become docile as the 

spaniel and the horse ; 
The kite feedeth with the starling, under the law of kindness ; 
That law shall tame the fiercest, bring down the battlements 

of pride, 

Cherish the weak, control the strong, and win the fearful spirit. 
Let thy carriage be the gentleness of love, not the stern front 
of tyranny." 



CHAPTER XX. 



HOME-EXAMPLE. 

" Example strikes 
All human hearts ! A had example more ; 
More still a father's !" 

Example has much, to do with the interests of 
home. It plays an important part in the forma- 
tion of character; and its influence is felt more 
than that of precept. Our object in this chapter 
is to show the bearing of example upon the well- 
being of the Christian home. Example may be 
good or bad. Its power arises out of the home- 
confidence and authority. Children possess an 
imitative disposition. They look up to their par- 
ents as the pattern or model of their character, 
and conclude what they do is right and worthy of 
their imitation. Hence the parental example may 
lead the child to happiness or to ruin. 

"Lo! thou art a landmark on a hill; thy little ones copy 

thee in all things. 
Show me a child undutiful, I shall know where to look for a 

foolish father ; 

But how can that son reverence an example he dare not follow? 
Should he imitate thee in thine evil ? his scorn is thy rebuke. " 



240 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



The power and influence of the home-example 
are incalculable. Example is teaching by action. 
By it the child inherits the spirit and character of 
the parent. Such is its influence that you can esti- 
mate the parent by the child. Show me a child, 
polite, courteous, refined, moral and honorable in 
all his sentiments and conduct ; and I will point 
you to a well-conducted nursery, to noble and 
high-minded parents, -faithful to their offspring. 
Theirs is a holy and a happy home ; and the bless- 
ing of God rests upon it. But on the other hand, 
in the wayward, dissolute child I discern unfaith- 
ful parents who have no respect for religion, and 
who take no interest in the spiritual welfare of 
their children. Thus the child is a living com- 
mentary upon its home and its parents. The 
fruits of the latter will be seen in the character 
of the former. The child is the moral reproduc- 
tion of the parent. Hence the pious parent is 
rewarded in his child, and the immoral parent is 
cursed in his child. Whatsoever thou sowest in 
thy child, that shalt thou also reap. 

The precepts of home are unavailing unless en- 
forced by a corresponding .example. Nothing is 
so forcible and encouraging as the " Follow me." 
It proves sincerity and earnestness ; and is adapt- 
ed to the imitative capacity and disposition of the 
child. It is all-commanding and resistless. Says 
Solomon, " Iron sharpeneth iron ; so a man sharp- 
eneth the countenance of his friend." Says Paul, 
" It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, 
nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth, or 



§Q!)R18[XIDR!1[1 ®I? WJOTKL 



HOME-EXAMPLE. 



241 



is offended, or is made weak." Says Shakspeare, 
' ' One drunkard loves another of the name." Says 
Dr. Young — 

" Ambition fires ambition ; love of gain 
Strikes like a pestilence from breast to breast ; 
Riot, pride, perfidy, blue vapor's breath; 
And inhumanity is caught from man, 
From smiling man." 

If such is the influence of example, we must ad- 
mit the necessity of a true Christian example in 
the family. It is necessary because it is the con- 
dition of the efficacy of home-precepts. "During 
the minority of reason, imitation is the regent of 
the soul, and they who are least swayed by argu- 
ment are most governed by example." We learn 
from example before we can speak. Hence if 
we would have our children walk in the way of 
God's commandments, we must go before them ; 
we must take the lead ; we must exemplify in our 
action what we incorporate in our oral instruc- 
tions ; our light must shine not only upon, but be- 
fore them ; they must see our good works as well 
as hear our good precepts. Said a man once to 
J. A. James, "I owe everything under God, to the 
eminent and consistent piety of my father. So 
thoroughly consistent was he, that I could find 
nothing in the smallest degree at variance with 
his character as a professor of religion. This 
kept its hold upon me." It was the means of 
his conversion to God. 

Thus children readily discern any discrepancy 
11 



242 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



between a parent's teaching and example. If we 
are professors of religion, and they see us worldly- 
minded, grasping after riches, pleasures and hon- 
ors ; the dupes of ungodly fashion, manifesting a 
malicious spirit, indolent, prayeiiess, and indiffer- 
ent to their spiritual welfare, what do they infer 
but that we are hypocrites, and will our precepts 
then do them any good? !No. "Line upon line 
and precept upon precept" will be given to no 
purpose. Hence the necessity of enforcing our 
precepts by Christian deportment. Speak in an 
angry tone before your child; and what will it 
avail for you to admonish him against anger ? 
Many parents express surprise that all they can 
say to their children does no good ; they remain 
stubborn, self-willed and recreant. 

But if these parents will look at what they have 
done as well as said, they will perhaps be less sur- 
prised. They may find a solution of the problem 
in their own capricious disposition, turbulent pas- 
sions and ungodly walk. The child will soon dis- 
card a parent's precepts when they are not en- 
forced by a parent's example. Hence that parent 
who ruins his own soul can do but little for the 
soul of his child. The blasphemer and sabbath- 
breaker is unfit to correct his child for swearing 
and sabbath-breaking. He alone who doeth the 
truth can teach his children truth. He only who 
has good habits can teach his children good habits. 
" Who loves," says William Jay, " to take his meat 
from a leprous hand ?" A drunkard will make a 
poor preacher of sobriety. A proud, passionate 



H0ME-EX1MPLE. 



243 



father is a wretched recommender of humility and 
meekness' to his children. What those who are 
under his care, see, will more than counteract 
what they hear; and all his efforts will be re- 
jected with the question, "Thou that teachest an- 
other, teachest thou not thyself?" Hence parents 
should say to their children, " Be ye followers of 
me, even as I also am of Christ." Their exam- 
ple should include all their precepts. In this way 
they both hear and see religion in its living, mov- 
ing and breathing form before them. They should 
thus go in and out before tkem, leading them step 
by step to heaven. 

"As a bird each fond endearment tries 
To tempt her new-fledged offspring to the skies, 
They tried each art, repiwed each dull delay, 
Allured to brighter worlds, and led the way !" 

It is also necessary because of its adaptation to 
the capacities and imitatiye disposition of chil- 
dren. They judge by the organs of sense, and 
by their perceptions of truth through externals. 
Haked abstract truth does not sufficiently inter- 
est them. They are pleased with history, nar- 
rative, illustration, more than with philosophy. 
They are awake to the first and receive from 
them a lasting impression; while the impres- 
sion made by the second is dreamy and ephem- 
eral. They will never forget your example be- 
cause it is adapted to their taste and capacity. 
Long after they have forgotten your precepts 
upon the duty and privilege of prayer, will they 



244 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



remember your prayeis; and long after tlie in- 
fluence of the former has faded, will that of the 
latter rule and allure them to God. Hence the 
necessity of a Christian home-example. " If any 
have children or nephews, let them learn first 
to show piety at home." 

If such, then, are its influence and neces- 
sity, we can easily infer the duty of parents to 
show their children a Christian example. If 
they form their character upon the approved 
model of their parents, then the duty to give 
them a Christian model is very obvious. They 
will rather follow your ungodly example than 
obey your godly precepts. " To give children," 
says Archbishop Tilloxson, "good instruction and 
a bad example, is but beckoning to them with 
the head to show then the way to heaven — while 
you take them by the hand to lead them in the 
way to hell." 

This duty is, therefore, enforced by the most 
powerful motives. The influence and benefit 
of a pious example; the promised rewards at- 
tending it; the deep curse that attends its ab- 
sence ; the misery wliich a bad example entails 
upon all the members of the Christian house- 
hold; and especially the fruits of both a good 
and bad example, in eternity, — all these consid- 
erations should prompt you to the faithful per- 
formance of this duty. If the members of your 
household may be ruined here by a bad exam- 
ple, what will be its consequences in the eternal 
world ? 



HOME-EXAMPLE. 



P 

245 



lives, 
up others 



"If men of 
Who, by their virtuous acrions, stu 
To noble and religious imitation 
Keceive the greater glory after deah 
As sin must needs confess ; what nay they feel 
In height of torment, and in weigh of vengeance, 
Not only they themselves nDt doin^ well, 
But set a light up to show men to tell?" 

We see a similar inducement to this duty in the 



blessings and rewards of a piou 



example. Its 



blessings are unspeakable both heie and hereafter. 
The temporal and eternal welfar^ of your home, 
the hope of meeting your children in heaven, and 
receiving there the promised rewajd of your stew- 
ardship, depend upon this duty. That family is 
happy as well as holy, where the jarents rear up 
their children under the fosterins influence of a 
Christian example. 

" Behold his little ones around him ! they bask in the sun- 
shine of smile ; 

And infant innocence and joy lighten thesi happy faces ; 

He is holy, and they honor him ; he is krvng ; and they love 
him ; 

He is consistent, and they esteem him ; hi is firm, and they 
fear him. 

His house is the palace of peace; for the Prince of peace is 
there. 

Even so, from the bustle of life, he goeth o his well-ordered 
home.' , 



A serious obstacle to the efncac; 
ample is, the too frequent want o 



of a good ex- 
agreement in 



• 

246 



the example of the parents. That of the father 
often conflicts with aiid neutralizes that of the 
mother. Thej are not one in their example. 
This the chilcben soon see, and disregard the 
good rather thm the bad example. " How can 
two walk together except they be agreed ?" The 
child cannot folow the pious father in the way of 
life, when the ungodly mother secretly and openly 
draws him back. Operated upon by two opposite 
influences, he vill more between them. 

We are here tauglft the imprudence, and we 
might add, sin, of pidas persons forming a matri- 
monial alliancewith wicked and ungodly persons. 
In the choice cf a companion for life, we should 
consider an agreement in religious as well as in 
social character. Hdw many unhappy matches 
and homes anl children and parents have been 
made by disobtdienc6 to the divine precept, " Be 
ye not unequaly yoked with unbelievers ?" Isaac 
and Rebecca showed their appreciation of this pre- 
cept in the cari they took to procure a pious wife 
for Jacob. "Iam weary of my life," says Rebec- 
ca, "because cf the daughters of Heth; if Jacob 
take a wife o:' the daughters of Heth, such as 
these, what g«ocl shall my life do me ?" This 
should be the solicitude of every Christian par- 
ent. Parents should possess unanimity of spirit 
and practice ii making up and giving the home- 
example. Thiy should walk unitedly, like Zach- 
arias and Elizabeth, in all the ordinances and stat- 
utes of the Lerd blameless. 



CHAPTER XXI. 



THE CHOICE OF PURSUITS. 

" For what then was I born ? to fill the circling year 
With daily toil for daily bread, with sordid pains and pleasures ? 
To walk this chequered world, alternate light and darkness, 
The day-dreams of deep thought followed by the night- 
dreams of fancy ? 
To be one in a full procession ? — to dig my kindred clay ? 
To decorate the gallery of art ? to clear a few acres of forest ? 
For more than these, my soul, thy God hath lent thee life !" 

The choice of positions and pursuits in life is 
one important and responsible mission of home. 
Children look up to their parents to aid them in 
this. They are to have them prepared for a use- 
ful citizenship in the state. Life demands that 
each of us, in obedience to the law of self-preser- 
vation and of our relations to human society, pre- 
pare for some useful occupation, not only for a 
livelihood, but also for the benefit of the state. 
The duty and the interest of the parent are to 
bring up the child to such a pursuit as is best 
adapted to his circumstances and abilities. Our 



248 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



character, success and happiness in life, depend 
upon our obedience to this law of adaptation. 

As such pursuits are chosen and prepared for, 
while under the guardian care of our parents, it 
is evident they should take an active part both in 
the choice and the preparation. They are respon- 
sible for these as far as their influence extends. 
It is their duty to afford their children aid in 
choosing and preparing for a useful and appropri- 
ate occupation, to fit them for the circumstances 
in which the Providence of God may place them, 
and to educate them for an efficient citizenship in 
the state. 

This is but developing the principle of self- 
preservation in the child, and fitting him for a 
proper adherence to it in after life. The home 
prepares the individual for his legitimate position 
in the state as well as in the church ; and this im- 
plies not only his education in the principles and 
practice of virtue and religion, but also in some 
useful and appropriate pursuit, by which he may 
meet the wants and prepare for the exigencies of 
life. To rear up your children therefore, in idle- 
ness and ignorance of any useful occupation, is 
not only doing great injustice to the child, but 
also to human society, subjecting her to expendi- 
ture and corruption in the support and influence 
of paupers and criminals. Every child should 
learn some trade or profession in order to self- 
subsistence and to the prosperity and well-being 
of the state. 

Hence it is a breach of moral obligation for par^ 



CHOICE OF PURSUITS. 



249 



ents, whether rich ©r poor, to peimit their chil- 



dren to grow up in idleness anc 



vagrancy. If 



they do so, and as a consequence, (rag out an im- 
poverished and miserable existeice, struggling 
between the importunities of want and those pre- 
carious contingencies upon which i1s satisfaction is 
suspended ; and in the hour of despair and urgent 
necessity, they resort to crime in order to meet 
their wants, or to dissipation in >rder to avert 
their wretchedness for a time, is ii not plain that 
their parents are responsible to Gkjd for all their 
crime and misery ? 

Nothing will, therefore, justify them in their 
omission of this duty. ]STo amouit of inherited 
wealth ; no dependance upon wealthy relatives ; 
no honorable station in society, wi . excuse them 
from training up their children t) some useful 
employment by which, if circumsttnces demand, 
they may secure a subsistence. Aid even if their 
legacy render it unnecessary to be allowed in or- 
der to subsistence, it is a duty whic 1 is due to the 
state. ~No man can with impuniy live in the 
state without some employment, phis would be 
an infringement upon her rights arid an abuse of 
her privileges. The individual, witi all his wealth 
and talents, belongs to the state, and should, there- 
fore, make such an appropriation of these as will 
be most conducive to its welfare. 

And besides, we know not what disastrous 
changes may take place in life. The parental 
legacy may soon be squandered by the child, and 
he be left without funds or friends ; the emergen- 
♦11 



250 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



cies of the future may increase beyond all antici- 
pation ; sickness and manifold adversities may 
soon sweep avay all his inheritance. And then 
what will become of your child if he is ignorant of 
any pursuit in vhich to engage for a subsistence ? 
Besides, it is i matter of very common observa- 
tion, *that those who receive a large legacy and 
have been broight up in idleness, become prodi- 
gal in their expenditure, and squander their for- 
tune by dissipation more rapidly than their parents 
amassed it by industry and frugality; and then, 
ignorant and lelpless and profligate, they eke out 
a wretched existence in abject poverty, resorting 
to illegitimate means for a living, until the last 
fruits of their improper training may be seen in 
the state's prison or upon the gibbet. 

History wil afford ample illustration of this. 
From it we miy easily infer the duty of parental 
interposition. The Athenians expressed their 
sense of this duty in the enactment of a law that, 
if parents did not qualify their children for secur- 
ing a livelihood by having them learn some occu- 
pation, the chid was not bound to make provision 
-for the parent when old and necessitous. 

In the selection of an occupation for his chil- 
dren, the parent should consult their taste and 
talents and circumstances, and choose for them a 
pursuit adapted to these. If his child is better 
suited for a mechanical pursuit, he should direct 
his attention to it, and educate him for it. And 
thus in all respects he should obey the great law of 
correspondence between the taste and capacity of 



CHOICE OF PURSUITS. 



251 



the child, and the occupation to be chosen for 
him. 

The violation of this law does great injury to 
the child and to society, inasmuch as it prevents 
his success and contentment, and floods the state 
with quacks and humbuggery. The parent should 
never compel the child to learn a trade or profes- 
sion which he dislikes, and for which he shows no 
talents. Many parents, through a false pride, 
force their children into a profession for which 
they have neither inclination nor capacity. While 
the parent has a right to interfere in the choice of 
a pursuit, his interference should not be arbitrary, 
neither should it run counter to the will of the 
child unless for special moral and religious rea- 
sons, or on account of inability to gratify him. 
However, this is often done. Even though they 
acknowledge their unfitness for a profession, yet 
their misguided pride prompts them to drag their 
children into a calling which in after life they 
disgrace. 

Some parents, on the other hand, through a 
penurious spirit, refuse to aid their sons in their 
preparation for a profession for which their talents 
eminently qualify them. They refuse to educate 
their sons for the ministry because it is not a lu- 
crative calling, though they give evidence of both 
mental and moral adaptation for that holy office. 
Others, through a blind zeal and a false pride, 
force their sons into this sacred calling. Mistaken 
parents ! rather let your children break stone up- 
on the road, or dig in the earth, yea, rather let 



252 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



tliem beg their bread, than thrust them into an 
occupation to which God has not called them, and 
for which they have neither inclination nor tal- 
ents, and in which they would, perhaps, not only 
ruin their own souls, but contribute to the dam- 
nation of others. " There are diversities of gifts 
and of operations." All are not called nor fitted 
for the ministry. Children soon give indications 
of specific talents and suitableness for a calling in 
life. We should critically observe their early pro- 
pensities. These will indicate their peculiar tal- 
ents. Unfit for and disliking an occupation, they 
will become unsettled and dissatisfied, and at best 
will be but mimics and quacks. Their business 
v will make them sullen slaves. It is because of 
parental disobedience to this law of adaptation 
that we have so much humbuggery in the world 
at the present day. Study, therefore, the infantile 
predilections of your children to particular em- 
ployments. These will be an index to their prov- 
idential calling, and should govern your choice 
for them. 

The social position of the child should also be 
considered. If possible, the character of his pur- 
suits should not conflict with those social elements 
in which he has been reared up. It should not 
detract from his standing in society, nor disrupt 
his associations in life. Many parents, for the sake 
of money, will refuse to educate and fit their chil- 
dren for sustaining the position they hold in soci- 
ety. They bring them up in ignorance, and 
devote them exclusively to Mammon ; and then. 



CHOICE OF PURSUITS. 



253 



when thrown upon their own resources they are 
qualified neither in manners nor in pursuit for a 
continuance in those peculiar relations to society 
which they at first sustained. 

The exigencies of the child should also be con- 
sidered. If his home can afford him no patrimo- 
ny, it is then more important to consider the 
lucrative character of the pursuit chosen, and also 
the demands of that social position he is to main- 
tain in life. Its profits should then be fully ade- 
quate to these demands, and suited to the emer- 
gencies which are peculiar to his circumstances. 
The capital required to engage in it, and its bear- 
ing upon the health of body and mind, should 
also be regarded. This is an important consider- 
ation, and not sufficiently attended to by parents. 
How many children are forced into employments 
which they have not the means of carrying on, 
and for which their state of health altogether un- 
fits them ! A pursuit involving sedentary habits 
does not suit a child whose state of health de- 
mands exercise. i 

You should make choice of but one pursuit for 
your child, and discourage in him the American 
tendency to be "jack of all trades." One occu- 
pation, whatever it may be, whether trade or pro- 
fession, if properly pursued, will demand all his 
energies, and give him no time to follow another ; 
and besides, it will afford him an ample subsist- 
ence. There is much truth in the two old and 
quaint adages, "jack of all trades, and master of 
none " he has too many irons in the fire, — some 



254 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of them must burn!" Show your children the 
truth and application of these. 

But while this is one extreme, and detrimental 
to the interests of the child, its opposite extreme, 
viz., that of bringing up the child to no pursuit 
whatever, is still more injurious. We had better 
have too many irons in the fire than none at all. 
It is a base and cowardly desertion of duty to 
shrink from the task of human occupation. Con- 
stituted as human society is, the members of it 
being mutually dependent upon each other for 
support, it is evident that our happiness materially 
depends upon the active concurrence of each indi- 
vidual in the general system of social well-being. 
He who withholds, therefore, his cooperation and 
stands aloof from all employment, destroys a link 
in that chain of things by which the fabric of so- 
ciety is kept together and preserved. He is un- 
faithful to those sacred obligations which arise 
out of our relations to the state and the church, 
and he abuses those inalienable rights with which 
God has invested the social compact. Besides, 
he fails to meet those conditions upon which the 
vigorous development of individual life and char- 
acter depends. Indolence is no friend either to 
physical, mental or moral development. The 
body becomes imbecile, the spirit supine and sen- 
timental, the morals vitiated, and the mind sinks 
into complete puerility. Activity is a law of all 
life, and the condition of its healthy development 
and maturity. "Without it we resort to jejune 
amusement, and from amusement we are hurried 



CHOICE OF PURSUITS. 



255 



on to dissipation, to the card table and dram shop ; 
and from dissipation we sink to degradation, in- 
famy and wretchedness. Idleness is thus the 
fruitful mother of vice and misery. Our lives 
cannot exist in a state of neutrality between ac- 
tive good and active evil. It is, therefore, the 
duty of the Christian home to prepare her young 
members for some useful calling in life, not only 
as a means of subsistence, but also as a safeguard 
against the evils of idleness. 



/ 



CHAPTER XXII. 



THE HOME-PARLOR. 

u The foolish floatiness of vanity, and solemn trumperies of 
pride, — - 

Harmful copings with the better, and empty-headed apings 
of the worse ; 

Vapid pleasures, the weariness of gaiety, the strife and bus- 
tle of the world ; 

The hollowness of courtesies, and substance of deceits, idle- 
ness and pastime — 

All these and many more alike, thick conveying fancies, 

Flit in throngs about my theme, as honey-bees at even to 
their hives !" 

The Christian home includes the parlor. This 
department we must give but a brief and passing 
notice. Yet it is as important and responsible as 
the nursery. In it we have a view of the rela- 
tions of home to society beyond it. The parlor 
is set apart for social communion with the world. 
Much of momentous interest is involved in this 
relation. The choice of companions, the forming 
of attachments and matrimonial alliances, the 



THE HOME-PARLOR. 



257 



establishment of social position and influence in 
•life beyond the family, — these are all involved in 
the home-parlor. 

If we would, therefore, escape the shackles and 
contamination of corrupt society, we must hold 
the parlor sacred and give to it the air and bear- 
ing of at least a moral aristocracy. Home is the 
first form of society. The law of love rules and 
reigns there. It is enthroned in the heart, and 
casts light around our existence. In that society 
we live above the trammels of artificial life. In 
its parlor the members merge with society beyond 
its sacred precincts. Hence it is the most beauti- 
ful room; the best furniture is there; smiles adorn 
it ; friends meet there ; fashion meets there in 
her silks and jewels, with her circumstance and 
custom, her sympathies, antipathies and divers 
kinds of conversation ; form and profession reign 
there; flatteries and hypocrisies intrude them- 
selves there ; pledges are given there ; attach- 
ments and vows are made there ; the mind and 
heart are impressed and moulded there ; the cob- 
web lines of etiquette are drawn there ; a pano- 
rama of social fascinations pass before the youth- 
ful eye there, — these make the parlor the most 
dangerous department of home. There the young 
receive their first introduction to society ; there 
they see the world in all the brilliancy of outward 
life, in the pomp and pageantry of a vanity fair. 
All seems to them as a fairy dream, as a brilliant 
romance ; their hearts are allured by these out- 
Ward attractions ; their imaginations are fed upon 



258 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the unreal, and they learn to judge character by 
the external habiliments in which its reality is 
concealed. They estimate worth by the beauty 
of the face and form, by the cost of dress and the 
genuflections of the body. They form their no- 
tions of happiness from fashion, fortune and po- 
sition. They become enslaved to lovesick novels 
and fashionable amusements. There, too, they 
make choice of companions ; there they form 
matrimonial alliances ; there their hearts are de- 
veloped, their minds trained for social life, their 
affections directed, and influence brought to bear 
upon them, which will determine their weal or 
their woe. 

If such be the influence of the home-parlor, 
should it not be held sacred, and made to corres- 
pond in all the uses for which it is set apart, with 
the spirit and character of a Christian family ; 
and should not its doors be effectually guarded 
against the intrusion of spurious and demoraliz- 
ing elements of society ? 

Parents should teach their children all about 
the character, interests and deceptions of parlor- 
life. They should undeceive them in their natu- 
ral proneness to judge people from the standpoint 
of character assumed in the parlor. They see the 
lamb there, but not the lion ; the smile but not 
the frown ; the affability of manner, but not the 
tyranny of spirit. They hear the language of 
flattery, but not the tongue of slander. They see 
no weak points, detect no evil temper and bad 
habits. There is an artificial screen behind which 



THE HOME-PARLOR. 



259 



all that is revolting and dangerous is concealed. 
Who would venture to judge a person by his me- 
chanical movements in the parlor ? Many are 
there the very opposite to what they are else- 
where : — 

" Abroad too kind, at home 'tis steadfast hate, 
And one eternal tempest of debate. 
What foul eruptions from a look most meek ! 
What thunders bursting from a dimpled cheek ! 
Such dead devotion, such zeal for crimes, 
Such licensed ill, such masquerading times, 
Such venal faiths, such misapplied applause, 
Such nattered guilt, and such inverted laws !" 

One of the most dangerous periods of life is, 
when we leave the nursery and school, and en- 
ter the parloi\ With what solicitude, therefore, 
should Christian parents guard their parlors from 
social corruption. They should prepare their 
children for society, not only by teaching them 
its manners and customs, how to act in company, 
how to grace a party, and move with refined ease 
among companions there, but also by teaching 
them the dangers and corruptions which lurk in 
their midst and follow in the train of rustling 
silks and fashionable denouement. They should 
never permit their parlor to become the scene of 
fashionable tyranny. The Christian. parlor can 
be no depot for fashion. It should be sacred to 
God and to the church. It should be a true ex- 
ponent of the social elements of Christianity. It 
should not be a hermitage, a state of seclusion 
from the world ; but should conform to fashion, 



\ 

260 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

yet so far only as the laws of a sanctified taste and 
refinement will admit. 

These laws exclude all compromise and amalga- 
mation with the ungodly spirit and customs of the 
world. Allegiance to the higher and better law 
of God will keep us from submission to the laws 
of a depraved taste and carnal desire. "We must 
keep ourselves unspotted from the world. When- 
ever we submit with scrupulous exactness to the 
laws of fashion ; whenever we yield a servile com- 
plaisance to its forms and ceremonies, wink at its 
extremes and immoralities and absurd expendi- 
tures, seek its flatteries and indulge in its whims 
and caprices, by throwing open our parlors as the 
theatre of their denouement, and introducing our 
children to their actors and master-spirits, we 
prostitute our homes, our religion and those whom 
God has given us to train up for Himself, to inter- 
ests and pleasures the most unworthy the Chris- 
tian name and character. 

There is much danger now of the Christian 
home becoming in this way slavishly bound to the 
influence and attractions of society beyond the 
pale of the church, until all relish for home-en- 
joyment is lost, and its members no longer seek 
and enjoy each other's association. They drain 
the cup of voluptuous pleasure to its dregs, and 
flee from home as jejune and supine. The hus- 
band leaves his wife, and seeks his company in 
fashionable saloons, at the card table or in halls 
of revelry. The wife leaves the society of her 
children, and in company with a bosom com- 



THE HOME-PARLOR. 



261 



panion, seeks to throw off the tedium of home, at 
masquerade meetings, at the theater or in the 
ball-room, where 

" Vice, once by modest Nature chained, 
And legal ties, expatiates unrestrained ; 
Without thin decency held up to view, 
Naked she stalks o'er law and gospel too !" 

The children follow their example ; become 
disgusted with each other's company, and sacri- 
fice their time and talents to a thousand little tri- 
fles and absurdities. Taste becomes depraved, 
and loses all relish for rational enjoyment. The 
heart teems with idle fancies and vain imagina- 
tions. Sentimentalism takes the place of reli- 
gion ; filthy literature and fashionable cards shove 
the Family Bible in some obscure nook of their 
parlor and their hearts. The hours devoted to 
family prayer are now spent in a giddy whirl of 
amusement and intoxicating pleasure, in the study 
of the latest fashions and of the newly-published 
love adventures of some nabob in the world of 
refined scoundrelism. The parental solicitude, 
once directed to the eternal welfare of the child, 
is now expended in match-making and setting 
out in the world. 

Thus does the Christian home often become 
adulterated with the world by its indiscriminate 
association with unfit social elements. That por- 
tion of society whose master-spirits are love-strick- 
en poets, languishing girls, amorous grandmoth- 
ers, and sap-headed fiction writers, is certainly 



262 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



unfit for a place in the parlor of the Christian 
family. We should not permit the principles of 
common-sense decorum to give place to the law- 
less vagaries of fancy and the hollow-hearted 
forms of artificial life. Under the gaudy drapery 
of smiles and flounces, of rustling silks and bland- 
ishments, there are hearts as brutish and stulti- 
fied, and heads as brainless and incapable of gen- 
tle and moral emotion, and characters as selfish 
and ungenerous, as were ever concealed beneath 
the rags of poverty, or the uncouth manners and 
rough garb of the incarcerated villain ! 

It is, therefore, beneath the dignity of the 
Christian to permit his home to become in any 
way a prey to immoral and irreligious associations 
and influences. Like the personal character of 
the Christian, it should be kept unspotted from 
the world; and no spirit, no customs, no compan- 
ions, opposed to religion, should be permitted to 
enter its sacred limits. Heedless of this impor- 
tant requisition, parents may soon see their chil- 
dren depart from the ways in which they were 
trained in the nursery, and at last become a curse 
to them, and bring down their gray hairs with 
sorrow to the grave. 

Here is indeed the great fault of many Chris- 
tian parents in the present day. They do not 
exert that guardian care they should over the 
social relations and interests of their children. 
They are too unscrupulous in their introduction 
to the world, and leave them in ignorance of its 
snares and deceptions. What results can they 



THE HOME-PARLOR. 



263 



look for if they permit their parlor tables to be- 
come burdened with French novels, and their 
children to mingle in company whose influence is 
the most detrimental to the interests of pure and 
undefiled religion ? Can they reflect upon their 
daughters for forming improper attachments and 
alliances ? Can they wonder if their sons become 
desperadoes, and ridicule the religion of their par- 
ents ? ISTo ! They permitted them to dally with 
the fangs of a viper which found a ready admit- 
tance into their parlor; and upon them, therefore, 
will rest the responsibility, — yea, the deep and 
eternal curse ! Woe unto thee, thou unfaithful 
parent ; the voice of thy children's blood shall 
send up from the hallowed ground of home, one 
loud and penetrating cry to God for vengeance ; 
and thou shalt be "beaten with many stripes." It 
will not only cry out against you, but cling to you ! 

Guard your parlor, therefore, from the corrupt- 
ing influence of all immoral associations. Be 
not carried away by the pomp and glare of refined 
and decorated wickedness. Let not the orna- 
ments and magnificence of mere outward hfe di- 
vert your attention from those hidden principles 
which prompt to action. In the choice of com- 
panions for your children in the parlor, look to 
the ornaments of the heart rather than to those 
of the body. Be not allured by the parade of cir- 
cumstance and position in life : Be not carried 
away by that which may intoxicate for a moment, 
and then leave the heart in more wretchedness 
than before. Ever remember that the future con- 



264 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



dition of your children, their domestic character 
and happiness, will depend upon the kind of com- 
pany you admit in your parlor. This leads us to 
the consideration of the part Christian parents 
should take in the marriage of their children. 
This we shall investigate in our next chapter un- 
der the head of " Match-making." 



CHAPTER XXIII. 



MATCH-MAKING. 

SECTION I. 

THE RELATION OF PARENTS TO THE MARRIAGE CHOICE OF 
THEIR CHILDREN. 

" Youth longeth for a kindred spirit, and yet yearneth for a 
heart that can commune with his own ; 

Take heed that what charmeth thee is real, nor springeth of 
thine own imagination ; 

And suffer not trifles to win thy love ; for a wife is thine unto 
death!" 

One of the most affecting scenes of home-life 
is that of the bridal hour ! Though in one sense 
it is a scene of joy and festivity ; yet in another, 
it is one of deep sadness. "When all is adorned 
with flowers and smiles, and the parlor becomes 
the theater of conviviality and parade, even then 
hearts are oppressed with sorrow at the thought 
of that separation which is soon to take place. 

The bridal is a home-crisis. It is the breaking 
up of home-ties and communion, a separation from 
12 



266 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



home scenes, a lopping off from the parent vine, 
an engrafting into a strange vine, and alas ! too 
often, into a degenerate vine. As the youthful 
bride stands beside her affianced husband, to be 
wedded to him for life, and reflects that the short 
ceremonial of that occasion will tear her forever 
from the loved objects and scenes of her child- 
hood-home, what tears of bitter sorrow adorn the 
bridal cheek, and what pungent feelings are awak- 
ened by her last farewell ! 

" ' I leave thee, sister ! we have played 
Through many a joyous hour, 
Where the silvery gleam of the olive shade 
Hung dim o'er fount and bower.' 

" Yes ! I leave thee, sister, with all that we 
have enjoyed together; I leave thee in the mem- 
ory of our childhood-haunts and song and prayer. 
"We cannot be as we have been. I leave thee 
now, and all that has bound us together as one ; 
and hereafter memory alone can hail thee, and 
will do so with her burning tear ; therefore, kind 
sister, let me weep ! 

" * I leave thee, father ! Eve's bright moon, 
Must now light other feet, 
With the gathered grapes, and the lyre in tune, 
Thy homeward steps to greet' 

"Yes, I leave thee, father! I receive thy last 
blessing; no longer shall thy protecting hand 
; ;uide me ; no longer shall thy smile be music to 
my ear. I leave thee, oh, therefore, let me weep ! 



MATCH-MAKING. 



267 



" ' Mother ! I leave tliee ! on thy breast, 
Pouring out joy and woe ; 
I have found that holy place of rest 
Still changeless — yet I go I' 

*' Yes, I go from thee, motlier ! Though you 
have watched over me in helpless infancy with all 
a mother's love and care, and 'lulled me with your 
strain ; ' and though earth may not afford me a love 
like yours ; yet I go ! Oh, therefore, 6 sweet moth- 
er, let me weep !' 

" ' Oh, friends regretted, scenes forever dear 
Remembrance hails you with her burning tear ; 
Drooping she bends o'er pensive fancy's urn, 
To trace the hours which ne'er can return.' " 

If momentous interests are involved in mar- 
riage, then, we think that parents should take an 
important part in the matrimonial alliances of 
their children. When they grow up, they natu- 
rally seek a companion for life. The making 
choice of that companion is a crisis in their his- 
tory, and will determine their future interest and 
happiness. If separation from home is a great 
sacrifice, then we should look well to the grounds 
of our justification in making that sacrifice. 

We propose, under the head of "match-mak- 
ing," to consider the part which parents should 
take in the marriage of their children ; and also 
the false and true standards of judgment both for 
parents and their children, in making the mar- 
riage choice and alliance. 

Have parents a right to take any part in the 



268 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



marriage choice and alliance of their children ? 
Have they a right to interfere in any respect with 
the marriage of their children ? That they do 
possess such a right, and are justified in the exer- 
cise of it within just and reasonable limits, is, we 
think, undisputed by any one acquainted with the 
"Word of God. It is one of the cardinal preroga- 
tives and duties of the Christian parent. His re- 
lation to his children invests him with it. The 
age and inexperience of the child, on the one 
hand; and the seductions of the world, on the 
other, imply it. Children need counsel and ad- 
monition ; and this is a needs-be for the interpo- 
sition of the parent's superior wisdom and greater 
experience. 

This right is plainly exemplified in sacred his- 
tory. Abraham interfered in Isaac's selection of 
a companion. Isaac and Hebecca aided in the 
choice of a wife for Jacob. And indeed through- 
out the patriarchal age, you find this right recog- 
nized and practiced. It was also acknowledged 
and exercised in all the subsequent ages of Juda- 
ism, in the age of primitive Christianity, and even 
down to the present time, in every true Christian 
household. The right still exists, and receives 
the sanction of the church. The great derelic- 
tion of parents now is, that they do not exercise 
it; and of children, that they do not recognize 
it. "A wise son heareth his father's instructions." 
" The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth 
to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall 
pluck it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." 



MATCH-MAKING. 



269 



"What now is the extent, and what are the du- 
ties of that right to interfere ? This is a difficult 
question, and can receive but an imperfect answer. 
In infancy the authority of the parent is exercised 
without any reference to the will of the child, be- 
cause reason is not yet developed. But when 
he reaches the age of personal accountability, the 
control of the parent is exercised on more liberal 
principles ; and when, by age, he becomes a re- 
sponsible citizen, the legal authority of the parent 
ceases. Still he possesses moral authority, and 
has a right to exert a restraining influence over 
the child. This does not, of course, involve a 
right to compel him to yield to the parent's arbi- 
trary will. He can exert but a moral control over 
him; and it is the child's duty to yield to this, 
so long as it is consistent with scripture and the 
maxims of sound reason and conscience. He 
should consult his parents, receive them into his 
confidence, and give priority to their judgment 
and counsels. 

Parents have the right to use coercive measures 
to prevent an imprudent marriage by their chil- 
dren before they have arrived at age; for until 
they are of age they are both legally and morally 
under the authority and government of their par- 
ents, who are responsible for them. Hence the 
child should recognize and submit to their au- 
thority. But this right to the use of coercive 
measures extends only to the prevention of un- 
happy marriages, — not to the forming of what 
the parents may regard happy alliances, against 



270 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME, 



the will of the child. E~o parent has the right to 
compel a child under age to marry, "because the 
marriage alliance implies the age and free choice 
of the child. 

But when the child reaches legal maturity, the 
coercive authority of the parent ceases. His in- 
terposition then should not involve coercive, but 
persuasive measures. Then a mere mechanical 
prevention of an unhappy marriage would have 
no good moral effect, but would be productive of 
great evil, inasmuch as it not only involves pa- 
rental despotism, but the restriction of a manifest 
and conceded right of the child. It would de- 
stroy the sense of personal dignity and responsi- 
bility. 

Persuasive measures will then accomplish more 
than all the efforts of the parent to prevent an un- 
happy union, by threats of disinheritance and ex- 
pulsion from home. In this way parents often 
extend their interference to most unreasonable 
extremes, and to the great detriment of the in- 
terests and happiness of their children; while at 
the same time they often bring disgrace and mis- 
ery upon their own heads and home. They set 
themselves up as the choosers of companions for 
their children, presuming that they should pas- 
sively submit to their selection whatever it may 
be. This is taking away the free moral agency of 
the child, making no account of his taste, judg- 
ment, or affections ; and forming between him and 
the object thus chosen a mere outward union, with 
no inward affinity. 



MATCH-MAKING, 



271 



In such, cases it most generally happens that 
parents are prompted by sinister motives and a 
false pride, as that of wealth, honor, and social 
position. They do not consult the law of suita- 
bility, but that of availability. They think that 
wealth and family distinction will compensate 
for the absence of all moral and amiable quali- 
ities, that if outward circumstances are favora- 
ble, there need not be inward adaptation of char- 
acter. Hence they will dictate to their children, 
make their marriage alliance a mere business mat- 
ter, and demand implicit obedience on the penalty 
of expulsion from the parental home, and disin- 
heritance forever. They are thus willing to pros- 
titute the domestic peace and happiness of their 
offspring to the gratification of their own sordid 
and inordinate lust for gain and empty distinc- 
tion. 

Who does not perceive and acknowledge the 
evil of such a course ? It involves unfeeling des- 
potism on the one hand, and a servile obedience 
on the other. The affections are abused ; the idea 
and sacredness of marriage are left out of view ; 
the conditions of domestic felicity are not met. 
All is supremely selfish; the power exercised is 
arbitrary ; the submission is slavish and demoral- 
izing ; the obedience involuntary and degrading ; 
and the result of it all is, an outrage against na- 
ture, against marriage, and against G-od. 

On the other hand, the interference of the par- 
ent should be persuasive, and the obedience of 
the child, voluntary. The parent should reason 



272 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



with and counsel the child ; and seek by mild and 
affectionate means to secure obedience to his ad- 
vice. And if the child then persist in his own 
course, the parent, we think, has discharged his 
duty, and the responsibility will rest upon the 
child. He should not expel and disinherit him, 
and thus add the hard-heartedness of the parent to 
the folly and perversity of the child. He should 
love him still, and seek by parental tenderness to 
alleviate the sad fruits of filial recklessness. Par- 
ents should so train their children in the nursery 
and parlor, by instilling in them correct principles 
of judgment in the choice of a companion, as to 
secure them ever after from an imprudent choice. 
Here is the place to begin. Parents too often omit 
this duty, until alas, it is too late. 

We have now seen that the parent has no right 
to destroy the domestic happiness of a child by 
uniting him forcibly in wedlock to one for whom 
he has no true affection. On the other hand, the 
child should pay due deference to ■ the parent's 
moral suasion, and seek, if possible, to follow 
his counsels. "A child," says Paley, "who re- 
spects his parent's judgment, and is, as he ought 
to be, tender of their happiness, owes, at least, 
so much deference to their will, as to try fairly 
and faithfully, in one case, whether time and ab- 
sence will not cool an affection which they disap- 
prove. After a sincere but ineffectual endeavor 
by the child, to accommodate his inclination to 
his parent's pleasure, he ought not to suffer in his 
parent's affections, or in his fortunes. The par- 



2T3 



MATCH-MAKING. 



ent, when lie lias reasonable proof of this, should 
acquiesce ; at all events, the child is then at liberty 
to provide for his own happiness." 



SECTION II. 

FALSE TESTS IN THE SELECTION OF A COMPANION FOE LIFE. 

Before we advert to some of those bibli- 
cal principles upon which parents and children 
should proceed in the marriage choice, we shall 
take a negative view of the subject, and mention 
some of those false principles and considerations 
which have in the present day gained a fearful 
ascendancy over the better judgment of many 
professed Christians. 

In the matter of marriage, too many are influ- 
enced by the pomp and parade of the mere out- 
ward. The glitter of gold, the smile of beauty, 
and the array of titled distinction and circum- 
stance, act like a charm upon the feelings and 
sentiments of many well-meaning parents and 
children. But it is not all gold that glitters. 
We must not think that those are happy in 
their marriage union, because they are obsequi- 
ous in their attentions to each other, and live 
*12 



274 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



together in splendor, overloaded with fashionable 
congratulations. We cannot determine the char- 
acter of a marriage from its pomp and pageantry. 
We rather determine the many unhappy matches 
from the false principles upon which the parties 
acted in making choice of each other. What are 
some of these ? We answer — 

1. The manner of paying addresses involves a 
false principle of procedure. These are either 
too long or too short, and paid in an improper 
spirit and manner. There are too much flirta- 
tion and romance connected with them. The 
religious element is not taken up and consid- 
ered. They do not involve the true idea of 
preparation, but have an air of mere sentiment- 
alism about them. The object in view is not 
fully seen. The most reprehensible motives and 
the most shocking thoughtlessness pervade them 
throughout. These addresses carry with them an 
air of trifling, a want of seriousness and frank- 
ness, which betrays the absence of all sense of 
responsibility, and of all proper views of the sa- 
credness of marriage and of its momentous con- 
sequences both for time and for eternity. 

2. The habit of match-making involves a false 
principle. This we see more fully among the 
higher classes of society. It is the work of de- 
signing and interested persons, who, for self-inter- 
est, intrude their unwelcome interposition. Its 
whole procedure implies that marriage is simply 
a legal matter, a piece of business policy, a do- 
mestic speculation. It strikes out the great law 



MATCH-MAKING, 



275 



of mutual, moral love, and personal adaptation. 
It makes marriage artificial, and apprehends it as 
only a mechanical copartnership of interest and 
life. It is sinister in spirit, and selfish in the end. 
Many are prompted from motives of novelty to 
make matches among their friends. All their 
schemes tend to wrest from the parties inter- 
ested all true judgment and dispassionate con- 
sideration. They are deceived by base misrep- 
resentation, allured by over-wrought pictures of 
conjugal felicity, so that when the marriage is 
consummated, they soon find their golden dreams 
vanish away, and with them, their hopes and their 
happiness forever. 

But there are not only personal match-mak- 
ers, in the form of tyrannical fathers, sentimental 
mothers, amorous grandmothers, and obsequious 
friends ; but also book match-makers, in the form 
of love-sick tales and poetry, containing Eugene- 
Aram adventures, and scrapes of languishing girls 
with titled swains running off, calculated to heat 
the youthful imagination, distort the pictures of 
fancy, giving to marriage the air of a romantic 
adventure, and throwing over it a gaudy drapery, 
leading the young into a world of dreams and 
nonentities, where all is but a bubble of varie- 
gated colors and fantastic forms, which explodes 
before them as soon as it is touched by the finger 
of reality and experience. 

These are the most dangerous match-makers. 
Their sister companions in this evil are, the ball- 
room, the giddy dance and masquerade, the fash- 



276 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME, 



ionable wine-cup, and the costly apparel. Let me 
affectionately exhort the members of the Christian 
home to keep all these at a distance. Touch not, 
taste not, handle not ! They will poison the spirit 
and the affections, and"encircle you with a viper's 
coil from which there is no hope of escape. Here 
parents have a right, and it is their duty, to inter- 
fere. They can do so effectually by not allowing 
such filthy match-making intruders to pass the 
threshold of their homes. What can you expect 
out an unhappy marriage, if you permit your sons 
and daughters to spend their time in converse with 
love-sick tales and languishing swains ? They will 
become love-sick, too, and long for marriage with 
one who is like the hero of their last-read romance. 
Perhaps they will not think their matrimonial de- 
but sufficiently flavored with romantic essence, un- 
less they run off with some self-constituted count, 
or at least with their papa's Irish groom ! 

3. We might advert, finally, to some of those 
false influences which are frequently brought to 
bear upon the children's choice of a companion 
for life. The term smitten is here significant 
and deserves our serious consideration. It car- 
ries in its pregnant meaning the evidence of a 
spurious feeling, and a false foundation of love 
and union. Be it remembered that there must 
always be something to smite one. We may 
be smitten by a scoundrel, or by something un- 
worthy our affections. Empty titles and mus- 
taches often smite the susceptible young. Some- 
times the heart is smitten by a pretty face and 



MATCH-MAKING, 



1277 



form; and sometimes by a rod of gold. The 
simple fact that we are smitten is not enough; 
we should know who or what it is that smites us. 
When we are drawn to each other, it should be by 
a true cord, and by an influence which binds and 
cements for life. The influence of mere outward 
beauty is a false one. Those who are smitten by 
it, and drawn thus into a matrimonial union by an 
interest which is but skin-deep, and which may 
fade like the morning flower, are allured by a daz- 
zling meteor, by a mere bubble, beautifully formed 
and colored, but empty within. It may dazzle the 
eye, but it blinds us to all its blemishes and in- 
ward infirmities. It is deceptive. Often beneath 
its gaudy veil there lies the viper, ready to poison 
all the sweets of home-life, and cause its victim to 
lament over his folly with bitter tears and heart- 
burning remorse. How soon may beauty, fade ; 
and what then, if it was the only basis of your 
marriage choice ? The union which rested upon 
it must then be at least morally dissolved; and 
that which once flitted like an impersonated charm 
before your admiring eye, now becomes an object 
of disgust and a source of misery. 

To fall in love, therefore, with mere outward 
beauty is, to dandle with a doll, to fawn upon a 
picture, to rest your hopes upon a plaything, to 
pursue a phantom which, as soon as you embrace 
it, may vanish into nothing. Look not to external 
beauty alone ; but also to the ornaments of an in- 
ward spirit, of a noble mind, and an amiable and 
pious heart. "If," says the Rev. II. Harbaugh, 



278 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



" you will be foolish, follow trie gilded butterfly of 
beauty, drive it a long clrase ; it will land you at 
last at some stagnant mud-pond of tbe highway." 

Neither is impulsive passion a true basis of mar- 
riage. This is falling in love at first sight, which 
often proves to be a very dangerous and degrad- 
ing fall, — a fall from the clouds to the clods, pro- 
ducing both humiliation and misery. It is indeed 
a fearful leap, — a leap without judgment or fore- 
thought ; and, therefore, a leap in the dark. It is 
too precipitate, and shows the infatuation of the 
victim. Falling in love is not always falling in 
the embraces of domestic felicity. Such leaping 
is an act of intoxication. The drunkard, falling 
in the mire, often thinks that he is embracing his 
best friend, whereas it is but descending to fellow- 
ship with the swine. It is blind love, which is no 
love, but passion without reason. It is crazy, fit- 
ful, stormy, raising the feelings up to boiling point, 
and bringing the affections under the influence of 
the high-pressure system. Consequently it is rav- 
ing, frothy, of a mushroom growth, making mere 
bubbles, and completing its work in an evapora- 
tion of all that it operated upon, passing away like 
the morning cloud and the early dew. 

True love is very different. It is substantial, 
reasonable, moral, acting according to law, tem- 
perate in all things, keeping the heart from ex- 
tremes, permanent, and based upon principle. 
Passion, without love, may keep you in a state 
of pleasurable intoxication until the knot is tied, 
when you will sooa get sober again, only to see, 



MATCH-MAKING, 



279 



however, your folly and to contemplate the height 
from which you have fallen, and then, with the 
recklessness of sullen despair, to pass over into 
the opposite extreme of stoical indifference and 
misery. All emotions are transient, and hence no 
proper standard of judgment in the serious matter 
of a marriage choice. The heart, unguided by 
the head, is, in its emotions, like the flaming me- 
teor that passes in its rapid, fiery train across the 
heavens. It flames only for a time, and soon 
passes away, leaving the heavens in greater dark- 
ness than before. 

Neither is wealth a true basis for the marriage 
choice. " The love of money is the root of all 
evil ;" and when it is the primary desideratum in 
marriage, it acts like a canker-worm upon domes- 
tic peace and happiness. "With too many in this 
day of money-making, marriage is but a pecunia- 
ry speculation, a mere gold and silver affair ; and 
their match-making is but a money-making, that 
is, money makes the match. Many parents (but 
we don't call such Christians,) sacrifice their chil- 
dren upon the altar of mammon, and prostitute 
their earthly and eternal happiness to their love 
of filthy lucre. 

Fatal mistake ! Will money make your chil- 
dren happy ? Is it for money you have them led 
to the bridal altar? Ah! that sordid dust may 
cover the grave of their fondest hopes and connu- 
bial felicity. Wed not your children to mere dol- 
lars and cents. The hand that holds a purse and 
shakes it before you for your child, may hold also a 



280 f THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

dagger for both the child and the parent. ~ "Look 
not only for riches, lest thou be mated with mis- 
ery. ' ' "Wealth is good in its place, and we should 
not object to it, other things being equal. But it 
never was nor can be good as an inducement to 
marry. What a miserable policy it is, to make 
it the test of a proper match! "Do not make 
the metals of earth the cord of the marriage 
tie." They are too brittle in their nature to 
do so. They take to themselves wings and fly 
away. * The fine gold becomes dim ; their cords 
are like ropes of glass-sand, — 

"Like the spider's most attenuated thread, 
They break at every breeze." 

Rank also is a false standard of judgment in 
the forming of a marriage alliance. Many look 
only to position in society, make it everything, 
and think that acknowledged social distinction 
will compensate for the want of all other inter- 
ests. While there should be a social adaptation 
of character, and while you should — 

" Be joined to thy equal in rank, or the foot of pride will kick 

at thee," 

yet there is nothing to justify marrying a person 
because of his or her social position. The evils 
of this may be seen in the first classes of English 
society, where rank is mechanical, and where law 
forbids a trespass upon its bastard prerogatives; 
and as a consequence, relatives intermarry, until 
their descendants have degenerated into complete 



MATCH-MAKING. 



281 



physical and mental imbecility. Such nepotism 
as this is replete with nntold disaster both in the 
family and in the state. Too many in our demo- 
cratic country ape this, look to rank, and are blind 
to all things else. The fruits of this are seen in 
that codfish aristocracy which floats with self-in- 
flated importance upon the troubled waters of so- 
ciety, causing too many of the little fish to float 
after them, until they land themselves in the deep 
and muddy waters of domestic ruin. 



SECTION m. 

TRUE TESTS IN THE SELECTION OP A COMPANION POR LIFE. 

Having considered some of the false standards 
of judgment in the choice of a companion for life, 
we now revert to those true tests which are given 
us in the Word of God. There we have the insti- 
tution and true idea of marriage, and the princi- 
ples upon which we should proceed in making the 
marriage choice. 

"We are taught in the holy scriptures, the pri- 
mary importance of judicious views of the nature 
and responsibilities of the marriage institution it- 
self. We should apprehend it, not from its mere 
worldly standpoint, not as a simple legal alliance, 
not only as a scheme for temporal welfare and hap- 



282 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



piness, but as a divine institute, a religious alliance, 
involving moral responsibilities, and momentous 
consequences for eternity as well as for time, for 
soul as well as for body. "We are commanded to 
look to its religious elements and duties ; and to 
regard it with that solemnity of feeling which it 
truly demands. "When the light of the bridal day 
throws upon the cheek its brightest colors, even 
then we should rejoice with trembling, and our 
joy and festivity should be only in the Lord. 

"Joy, serious and sublime, 
Such as cloth nerve the energies of prayer, 
Should swell the bosom, when a maiden's hand, 
Filled with life's dewy flowerets, girdeth on 
That harness which the ministry of death 
Alone unlooseth, but whose fearful power 
May stamp the sentence of eternity." 

In the days of our forefathers, marriage was 
thus held sacred, as a divine institution, involving 
moral and religious duties and responsibilities ; 
and their celebration of it was, therefore, a reli- 
gious one. They realized its momentous import, 
and its bearing upon their future welfare. It was 
not, therefore, without heavings of deep moral 
emotion and the now of tears as well as of joyful 
spirits, that they put the wedding garment on. 

" There are smiles and tears in that gathering band, 
Where the heart is pledged with the trembling hand. 
What trying thoughts in the bosom swell, 
As the bride bids parents and home farewell ! 
Kneel down by the side of the tearful fair, 
And strengthen the perilous hour with prayer !" 



MATCH-MAKING, 



283 



True love in each, and reciprocated by each, must 
determine the marriage choice. The marriage of 
children should not be forced. Mutual love is the 
basis of a proper union, because marriage is a vol- 
untary compact. "When parents, therefore, force 
their children into an alliance, they usurp their 
undoubted natural and religious rights. Hence 
there should be no must, where there is noioill, on 
the part of the child. That choice which is made 
upon any other than reciprocated affection, is an 
unreasonable and irreligious one. " Parents have 
no right," says Paley, "to urge their children 
upon marriage to which they are averse;" "add 
to this," says he, "that compulsion in marriage 
necessarily leads to prevarication; as the reluc- 
tant party promises an affection, which neither ex- 
ists, nor is expected to take place." To proceed 
to marriage, therefore in the face of absolute dis- 
like and revulsion, is irrational and sinful. 

As true, mutual love is the basis of marriage, so 
also should it be a standard of our judgment in 
the marriage choice. Yv^ithout it, neither beauty, 
wealth nor rank will make home happy. True 
love should be such as is upheld in scripture. It 
is above mere passion. It never faileth. It is 
life-like and never dies out. It is an evergreen 
in the bosom of home. It has moral stamina, is 
regulated by moral law, has a moral end, contains 
moral principle, and rises superior to mere pru- 
dential considerations. It is more than mere feel- 
ing or emotion ; it is not blind, but rational, and 
above deception, having its ground in our moral 



284 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



and religions nature. It extends to the whole per- 
son, to body, mind, and spirit, to the character as 
well as to the face and form. It is tempered with 
respect, yea, vitalized, purified, directed and ele- 
vated by true piety. Such love alone will survive 
the charms and allurements of novelty, the fasci- 
nations of sense, the ravages of disease and time, 
and will receive the sanction of heaven. 

Mutual adaption of character and position is 
another scripture standard of judgment. Is that 
-person suited for me ? "Will that character make 
my home happy? Could I be happy with such an 
one ? Are we congenial in spirit, sentiment, prin- 
ciple, cultivation, education, morals and religion ? 
Can we sympathize and work harmoniously to- 
gether in mind and heart and will and taste ? Are 
we complemental to each other ? These are ques- 
tions of far greater importance than the question 
of wealth, of beauty, or of rank. 

Fitness of circumstances, means, and age should 
be also considered. Am I able to support a fam- 
ily ? Can I discharge the duties of a household ? 
Where there is ignorance of household duties, in- 
dolence, the want of any visible means of sup- 
porting a family, no trade, no education, no en- 
ergy, and no prospects, there is no reason to think 
there can be a proper marriage. Thus, then, mu- 
tual love, adaptation of character, of means, of cir- 
cumstances, of position, and of age, should be con- 
sidered, in the formation of a marriage alliance. 

But the standard of judgment to which the scrip- 
tures especially direct our attention is, that of reli- 



MATCH-MAKING. 



285 



gions equality, or spiritual adaptation. "Be not 
unequally yoked together with unbelievers. ' ' The 
positive command here is, that Christians should 
inarry only in the Lord. Here is a test in the se- 
lection of a companion for life, from which nei- 
ther parents nor children should ever depart. It 
evidently forbids a matrimonial union with those 
who have no sympathy with religion. We should 
make more account of religious equality than of 
equality of rank and wealth. Is not true piety of 
more importance than education, affluence or so- 
cial distinction ? When husband and wife are un- 
equally yoked together in soul and grace, their 
home must suffer spiritually as well as temporal- 
ly. The performance of religious duties and the 
enjoyment of religious privileges, will be impossi- 
ble. The unbeliever will discourage, oppose, and 
often ridicule, the pious efforts of the believer. 
Partiality will be produced, and godliness will de- 
cline ; for, says Peter, unless we dwell as heirs to- 
gether of the grace of life, our prayers will be 
hindered. The pious one cannot rule in such a 
home. Thus divided and striving with each other, 
their house must fall. Where one draws heaven- 
ward and the other hellward, opposite attractions 
will be presented, and the believer will find con- 
stant obstructions to growth in grace, to the dis- 
charge of parental duty, and to the cultivation of 
Christian, graces in the heart. How can the un- 
believer return, like David, to bless his household? 
How can he bring up his children in the nurture 
and admonition of the Lord ? Can he be the head 



286 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of a Christian home? And, tell me, does the 
true Christian desire any other than a Christian 
home? "How can two walk together, except 
they be agreed?" And are you, then, In your 
marriage, agreed to walk with the unbeliever in 
the broad road of sin and death ? You are not, 
if you are a true Christian ! 

We see, therefore, the importance of a rigid 
adherence to the scripture standard, " Be not un- 
equally yoked together with unbelievers." It is 
even desirable that husband and wife belong to 
the same branch of the church, that they may 
walk together on the sabbath to the house of 
God. There is indeed something repugnant to 
the feelings of a Christian to see the husband 
go in one direction to worship, and the wife in 
another. They cannot be thus divided, without 
serious injury to the religious interests of their 
family, as well as of their own souls. It is impos- 
sible for them to train up their children success- 
fully when they are separated by denominational 
differences. It is a matter of very common ob- 
servation that when persons thus divided, marry, 
the one or the other suffers in religious interest. 
From these and other considerations, we think it 
is expedient to marry, if possible, within the pales 
of our own branch of the church. Then, being 
agreed, they can walk together with one mind 
and one purpose. 

But how much more important that they be 
united in their pilgrim walk to eternity, — united 
in the Lord Jesus Christ, by a common life and 



MATCH-MAKING. 



287 



faith and hope ! We believe that Christians 
commit a sin when they violate this law of re- 
ligions equality, and unite themselves in mat- 
rimony with those who pay no regard to reli- 
gion. "Who can estimate the peril of that home 
in which one of its members is walking in the 
narrow way to heaven, while the other one is trav- 
eling in the broad road to perdition ! Whom, 
think you, will the children follow? Let the sad 
experience of a thousand homes respond. Let the 
blighted hopes and the unrequited affections of 
the pious wife, reply. Let those children whose 
infamy and wretchedness have broken the devout 
mother's heart, or brought the gray hairs of the 
pious father down with sorrow to the grave, speak 
forth the answer. It will show the importance of 
the scripture rule before us, and will declare the 
sin of violating that rule. 

And does not, therefore, a terrible judgment ac- 
company that indiscriminate matrimonial union 
with the unbelieving world, of which so many 
Christians, in the present day, are guilty? Par- 
ents encourage their pious children to marry un- 
believers, though they are well aware that such 
unholy mixtures are expressly forbidden, and that 
spiritual harmony is essential to their happiness. 
" She is at liberty to be married to whom she 
will, only in the Lord !" Those who violate this 
cardinal law of marriage, must expect to suffer 
the penalties attached to it. History is the rec- 
ord of these. The disappointed hopes, and the 
miseries of unnumbered homes speak forth their 



288 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



execution. This great scripture law has its foun- 
dation in the very nature of marriage itself. If 
marriage involves the law of spiritual harmony; 
if, in the language of the Roman law, it is " the 
union of a man and woman, constituting an united 
habitual course of life, never to be separated;" if 
it is a partnership of the whole life, — a mutual 
sharing in all rights, human and divine ; if they 
are one flesh, — one in all the elements of their 
moral being, as Christ and His church are one ; 
if it is a mystery of man's being, antecedent to 
all human law ; if, in a word, man and woman in 
marriage, are no more twain, but one flesh ; and 
if the oneness of our nature is framed of the body, 
the soul, and the spirit, then is it not plain that 
when two persons marry, who possess no spiritual 
fitness for, or harmony with, each other, they vio- 
late the fundamental law of wedlock; and their 
marriage cannot meet the scripture conception of 
matrimonial union or oneness. There will be no 
adaptation of the whole nature for each other; 
they will not appreciate the sacred mysteriousness 
of marriage; instead of the moral and religious 
development of the spiritual nature, there will be 
the evolution of selfishness and sensuality as the 
leading motives of domestic life. We see, then, 
that the Christian cannot with impunity, violate 
the scripture law, "Be not unequally yoked with 
unbelievers." 

? Shall -the Christian parent and child disregard 
this prohibition of God ? "Will you ridicule 
this fundamental principle of Christian marriage ? 



MATCH-MAKING. 



289 



Will the children of God not hesitate to marry 
the children of the devil? Can these walk to- 
gether in domestic union and harmony? Can 
saint and sinner be of one mind, one spirit, one 
life, one hope, one interest ? Can the children of 
the light and the children of darkness, opposite 
in character and in their apprehension of things, 
become flesh of each other's flesh, and by the force 
of their blended light and darkness shed aronnd 
their home-fireside the cheerfulness of a mutual 
love, of a common life and hope, and of a pro- 
gressive spiritual work ? 

Parents ! it is your right and duty to interfere 
when your children violate this law. Bring them 
up from infancy to respect it. In the parlor, train 
them to appreciate its religious importance. Show 
them that God will visit the iniquity of their de- 
parture from it, unto the third and fourth genera- 
tion. You are stimulated to do so by the divine 
promise that when they grow old, they will not 
depart from it. 

Such unequal matches are not made in heaven. 
"God's hand is over such matches, not in them." 
"What fellowship hath light with darkness ?" If 
love, in Christian marriages, is holy and includes 
the religious element, then it is evident that the 
Christian alliance with one between whom and 
himself there is no religious affinity whatever, is 
not only an outrage against the marriage insti- 
tution, but also exposes his home to the curse of 
God, making it a Babel of confusion and -of moral 
antipathies. 

13 



290 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Both the old and the new testaments give ex- 
plicit testimony to the law of spiritual harmony 
in marriage. Thns the law of Moses forbid the 
children of Israel to intermarry among heathen 
nations. "Neither shalt thou make marriages 
with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give 
unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take 
unto thy son." — Deut. vii., 3. Abraham obeyed 
this law in the part he took in the marriage of 
his son Isaac, as recorded in the twenty-fourth 
chapter of Genesis. His obedience was repro- 
duced in Isaac and Rebecca, who manifested the 
same desire, and took the same care that Jacob 
should take a wife from among the covenant 
people of God. See twenty-eighth chapter of 
Genesis. 

The evil consequences of the violation of this 
law may be seen in the history of Solomon, — 
i. Kings, chap. 11 ; also in the case mentioned in 
the 10th chap. ; and in Nehemiah, chap. 13. Paul 
upholds this law when he exhorts the Corinthians 
to marry "only in the Lord." Reason itself ad- 
vocates this law. The true Christian labors for 
heaven and walks in the path of the just; the 
unbelieving labor for earth, mind only the things 
of this world, and walk in the broad road to ruin. 
Can these now walk together, live in harmony, 
when so widely different in spirit, in their aims 
and pursuits ? "What fellowship hath righteous- 
ness with unrighteousness? What part hath he 
that believeth with an infidel ? And what agree- 
ment hath the temple of God with idols ? for ye 



MATCH-MAKING. 



291 



are the temple of the living God ; as God hath 
said, I will dwell in them; and I will be their 
God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore 
come out from among them, and be ye separate, 
saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; 
and I will receive you, and will be a father unto 
you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters." 

The primitive Christians developed this law in 
their families. They forbade marriage with Jews, 
Pagans, Mohammedans, and ungodly persons. 
With them, piety was the first desideratum in 
marriage. The sense of .the Christian church has 
ever been against religious inequality in marriage. 
It has always been felt to be detrimental to per- 
sonal piety and to the general interests of Chris- 
tianity. It limits and neutralizes the influence 
of the church, brings overwhelming temptations 
to lukewarmness in family religion, and is, in a 
word, in almost every instance, the fruitful cause 
of spiritual declension wherever it is practiced. 

Let me, then, exhort you to marry only in the 
Lord. Such an union will be blessed. Daughter 
of Zion ! marry such a man as will, like David, 
return to bless his household. Son of the Chris- 
tian home ! marry no woman who has not in her 
heart the casket of piety. Make this your stand- * 
ard ; and your home shall be a happy, as well as 
a holy home, and 

" In the blissful vision, each shall share 
As much of glory as his soul can bear ! " 



CHAP TEE XXIV. 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 

" Give me enough, saith wisdom ; for he feareth to ask for 
more ; 

And that by the sweat of my brow, addeth stout-hearted in- 
dependence ; 

Give me enough, and not less ; for want is leagued with the 
tempter ; 

Poverty shall make a man desperate, and hurry him ruthless 
into crime ; 

Give me enough, and not more, saving for the children of 

distress ; 

"Wealth oftentimes killeth, where want but hindereth the 
budding." 

The children's patrimony is a vital subject. It 
involves the great question, what should Christian 
parents leave to their children as a true inherit- 
ance from the Christian home ? We shall return 
but a very brief and general answer. 

The idea of the home-inheritance is generally 
confined to the amount of wealth which descends 
from the parent to the child. And this is indeed 
too often the only inheritance of which children 
can boast. Many parents, who even claim to be 
Christians, enslave both themselves and their fam- 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 293 



ilies, to secure for their offspring a large pecun- 
iary patrimony. They prostitute every thing else 
to this. And hence it often happens that the 
greatest money-inheritance becomes the children's 
greatest curse, running them into all the wild and 
immoral excesses of prodigality ; and ending in 
abject poverty, licentiousness, and disgrace; or 
perhaps making them like their deluded parents, 
penurious, covetous, and contracted in all their 
views and sentiments. 

We think, therefore, that the children's patri- 
mony should be more than gold and silver. This 
may pamper the body, but will afford no food for 
the mind and spirit. We do not mean by these 
remarks, that their patrimony should not include 
wealth. On the other hand, we believe that par- 
ents should make pecuniary provision for them, 
that they may not begin life totally destitute. 
But we mean, that when this is the only patri- 
mony they receive, it often proves a curse, be- 
cause it tends to destroy their sympathy with 
. higher interests, exposes them to the uncertainties 
of wealth, and makes them dependent upon that 
alone. If it should elude their grasp, all is gone, 
and they become poor and helpless indeed. 

What, therefore, besides wealth, should be the 
children's patrimony from the Christian home ? 
We briefly answer. 

1. A good character. This is more valuable 
than wealth ; for a good name is rather to be cho- 
sen than great riches. This character should be 
physical, intellectual, and moral. Give your chil- 



294 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



dren the boon of good health by a proper train- 
ing to exercise and industry. Transmit to them 
the patrimony of good physical habits by educat- 
ing their bodies, and developing their material 
existence according to the principles of natural 
law. Develop their intellectual faculties, and en- 
rich them with the treasures of knowledge. Give 
character to their minds as well as to their bodies ; 
and they will be blessed with an intellectual dowry 
which cannot be taken from them, and which will 
bring them an adequate recompense. Give to 
your children the patrimony of good and just 
principles. Train the heart to good morals ; fill 
it with the treasures of virtue, of truth, of justice 
and of honor. Give it moral stamina. Educate 
the moral sense of your children. Direct the un- 
folding powers of their conscience ; in a word, 
develop their moral faculties, and supply them 
with appropriate nutriment; mould their will; 
cultivate their emotions; rule their desires and 
passions ; and thus unfold their moral nature ac- 
cording to the rules of God's revealed law. 

Such a character, involving a true and vigorous 
evolution of body, mind and spirit, is an effectual 
safeguard against the evils of prodigality, the dis- 
grace of penuriousness, and the woes of vice and 
crime. Their property may burn down, and they 
may be robbed of their gold ; but neither the flame 
nor the robber can deprive them of their charac- 
ter; their intellectual and moral worth is beyond 
the power of man to destroy ; no enemy can rob 
them of those virtues which a well-developed 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 295 



mind and heart afford; they will be to them a 
standing capital to enrich them in all that is es- 
sential to human happiness. 

2. A good occupation is another patrimony 
which should descend to the children of a Chris- 
tian home. Bring up your children to some use- 
ful employment by which they may be able to 
make a comfortable living ; and you thereby give 
them hundreds, and, perhaps, thousands of dol- 
lars per year ; you give them a boon which can- 
not be taken from them. Many parents, hoping 
to secure for their children a large pecuniary pat- 
rimony, will not permit them to learn either a 
trade or a profession ; but let them grow up in in- 
dolence and ignorance, unable as well as unwil- 
ling, to be useful either to themselves or to others, 
living for no purpose, and unfit even to take care 
of what they leave. And when their wealth de- 
scends to them, they soon spend it all in a life of 
dissipation ; so that in a few years they find them- 
selves poor, and friendless, and ignorant of all 
means of a livelihood, without character, without 
home, without hope, a nuisance to society, a dis- 
grace to their parents, a curse to themselves ! But 
as we have already dwelt upon this subject in the 
chapter on the choice of pursuits, we shall not 
enlarge upon it here. 

3. True religion is another inheritance which 
should descend to the children of the Christian, 
home. This is an undefiled and imperishable 
treasure, which does not become worthless at the 
grave, but which will continue to increase in 



296 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



preciousness as long as the ages of eternity shall 
roll on. If through the parent's pious agency, 
the child comes into possession of this invaluable 
blessing, there is given to him more than earthly 
treasure, more than pecuniary competency, more 
than a good name, or a fair reputation, or a high 
social position in 'this life ; he receives a title to 
and personal meetness for, the undefiled and im- 
perishable inheritance of heaven, composed of 
glittering crowns of glory, of unspeakable joys, 
and sweet communion with all the loved and 
cherished there. Thus the fruits of a parent's la- 
bor for the salvation of his children constitute an 
infinitely more valuable patrimony than all the 
accumulated fruits of his industry in behalf of 
wealth. All the wealth, and rank, and reputation 
which may descend from parent to child can not 
supersede the necessity of a spiritual patrimony. 
It is only, as we have seen in a former chapter, 
when you minister to the spiritual wants of your 
children and tinge all their thoughts and feelings 
with a sense of eternity ; when your home is made 
a spiritual nursery ; and you work for their eter- 
nal benefit, and thereby secure for them the fulfill- 
ment of those blessed promises which God has 
given concerning the children of believing par- 
ents, that you leave them a patrimony worthy the 
Christian home. Such a spiritual patrimony it is 
within the power of all Christian parents to be- 
stow. And without its enjoyment by your chil- 
dren, you fail to minister unto them as a faithful 
steward of God. You may minister to their bod- 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 



297 



ies and minds; you may amass for them a for- 
tune ; you may give them an education ; you may 
establish them in the most lucrative business; you 
may fit them for an honorable and responsible po- 
sition ; you may leave them the heritage of social 
and political influence ; and you may caress them 
with all the passionate fondness of the parental 
heart and hand ; yet, without the heritage of true 
piety, — of the true piety of the parent reproduced 
in the heart and character of the child, all will be 
worse than vain, yea, a curse to both the parent 
and the children. 

Having thus briefly pointed out some of the 
essential features of the children's patrimony, 
as physical, intellectual, moral, and spiritual, Ave 
shall now advert to the principles upon which 
parents should proceed in the distribution of their 
property to their children. 

They should not give them more than a compe- * 
tency. That they should lay by something for 
them is conceded by all. This is both a right and 
a duty. It is included in the obligation to provide 
for them ; and he who does it not "hath denied 
the faith and is worse than an infidel." Natural 
affection, as well as supernatural faith, stimulates 
the parent to provide thus for his offspring. 

But this does not demand a great fortune ; but 
a simple competency, that is, just enough to meet 
their immediate wants and emergencies when they 
enter the world and begin business-life. This 
competence should correspond with the social po- 
sition they occupied under the parental roof. It 
*13 



298 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



should not go beyond this; it should be just 
enough to meet the social and financial exigencies 
of the child. It should be measured also by the 
peculiar necessities of the child, by his health, 
abilities, and circumstances. "A parent is justi- 
fied," says Paley in his Moral and Political Phi- 
losophy, "in making a difference between his 
children according as they stand in greater or less 
need of the assistance of his fortune, in conse- 
quence of the difference of their age or sex, or of 
the situations in which they are placed, or the va- 
rious success which they have met with." 

!Now the law of competence does not demand, 
yea, it forbids, more than a sufficiency to meet 
these peculiar exigencies of the child. Those 
parents who seek for more, become parsimonious, 
unfaithful to the moral interests of ther house- 
hold, and indifferent to all legitimate objects of 
charity and benevolence. These are indeed but 
the necessary fruits of unfaithfulness to this law ; 
for the course of God's providence indicates the 
impossibility of our faithfulness to the duty of 
Christian beneficence, and at the same time lay 
up for our children more than a sufficiency. We 
find indeed, that in almost every instance in which 
parents have transcended the limits of competence, 
and thus raised their children above the necessity 
of doing anything themselves for a subsistence, 
God has cursed the act, and the canker of His 
displeasure has consumed this ill-saved property. 
That curse we see often in the prodigality and 
dissipation of the children. They walk in the 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 299 



slippery paths of sin, kneel at the altar of Mam- 
mon, fare sumptuously every day, as prodigal in 
spending their fortune as their parents were pe- 
nurious in amassing it, until at last they come to 
want, rush into crime, and end their unhappy life 
in the state's prison, or upon the gibhet. 

We see, therefore, that when parents give their 
children more than what they actually need, they 
place in their possession the instruments with 
which they ruin themselves. History shows that 
the most wealthy men started out in the world 
with barely enough, and some, with nothing; 
and that generally those who started with an 
independent fortune ended with less than they 
started, and many closed their earthly career in 
abject poverty and misery. Besides, the man who 
made his fortune knows how to keep and expend 
it ; and in point of happiness derived from prop- 
erty, " there is no comparison between a fortune 
which a man acquires by well-applied industry, or 
by a series of success in his business, and one 
found in his possession or received from another." 
Let, therefore, the property you leave your chil- 
dren be just enough to meet the exigencies of 
their situations, and no more ; for 

' ' Wealth hath never given happiness, but often hastened 
misery ; 

Enough hath never caused misery, but often quickened hap- 
piness ; 

Enough is less than thy thought, pampered creature of society, 
And he that hath more than enough, is a thief of the rights 
of his brother ! " 



300 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



Parents should be impartial in the distribution 
of their patrimony among their children. They 
should never give one more than another unless 
for very plausible and Christian reasons, such as 
bad health, peculiar circumstances, of want, &c. 
They should have no pets, no favorites among 
them; and care more for one than for another, or 
indulge one more than another. Neither should 
they withhold a dowry from a child as a punish- 
ment, unless his crime and character are of such 
an execrable nature as to warrant the assurance 
that its bestowment would but enhance his mis- 
ery. Then indeed, it would be a blessing to with- 
hold it. "A child's vices may be of that sort," 
says Paley in his Philosophy, " and his vicious 
habits so incorrigible, as to afford much the same 
reason for believing that he will waste or misem- 
ploy the fortune put into his power, as if he were 
mad or idiotish, in which case a parent may treat 
him as a madman or an idiot ; that is, may deem 
it sufficient to provide for his support by an an- 
nuity equal to his wants and innocent enjoyments, 
and which he may be restrained from alienating. 
This seems to be the only case in which a disin- 
herison, nearly absolute, is justifiable." 

Neither should parents be capricious in the dis- 
tribution of their property among their children. 
They have no right to withhold a dowry from 
children because they have married against their 
will, no more than they have a right, for this rea- 
son, to disown them. This would be distributing 
their property upon the principle of revenge or 



THE CHILDREN'S PATRIMONY. 



301 



reward. No parent has a right to indulge a pref- 
erence founded on such, an unreasonable and 
criminal feeling as revenge. Neither has he a 
right to distribute his property from considera- 
tions of age, sex, merit, or situation. The idea 
of giving all to the eldest son to perpetuate family 
wealth and distinction; or of giving all to the 
sons, and withholding from the daughters ; or of 
giving to those children only who were more ob- 
sequious in their adherence to their parent's„ty- 
rannical requisitions, — is unreasonable, unchris- 
tian, and against the generous dictates of natural 
affection. 

From this whole subject we may infer the in- 
fatuation of those parents who toil as the slave 
in the galley, to amass a large # fortune for their 
children. To accomplish this object they be- 
come drudges all their life. They rise early 
and retire late, deny themselves even the ordi- 
nary comforts of life, expend all the time and 
strength of their manhood, make slaves of their 
wives and children, and live retired from all so- 
ciety, in order to lay up a fortune for their off- 
spring. To this end they make all things sub- 
ordinate and subservient ; and, indeed, they so 
greatly neglect their children as to deprive them 
of even the capacity of enjoying intellectually 
or morally the patrimony they thus secure for 
them. They bring them up in gross ignorance 
of every thing save work and money. They 
teach them close-fisted parsimony, and prepare 
them to lead a life as servile and infatuated as 



302 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



their' own. Miserable delusion ! " What shall 
it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and 
lose his own soul?" 

" cursed lust of gold ! when for thy sake 
The fool throws up his interest in both worlds ; 
First starved in this, then damned in that to come I" 



CHAPTER XXV. 



THE PROMISES OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

"The promise is unto you, and to your children." 

Acts ii., 39. 

"Parent who plantedst in the joy of love, 
Yet hast not gather'd fruit, — save rankling thorns, 
Or Sodom's bitter apples, — hast thou read 
Heaven's promise to the seeker ? Thou may'st bring 
Those o'er whose cradle thou didst watch with pride, 
And lay them at thy Savior's feet, for lo ! 
His shadow falling on the wayward soul, 
May give it holy health. And when thou kneel'st 
Low at the pavement of sweet Mercy's gate, 
Beseeching for thine erring ones, unfold 
The passport of the King, — ' Ask, and receive ! 
Knock, — and it shall be opened !" ' 

The promises of the Christian home may be di- 
vided into two kinds, viz. : Those which God has 
given to the family; and those which Christian 
parents have made to God. 

God has not only laid His requisitions upon the 
Christian home, but given his promises. Every 
command is accompanied with a promise. These 
promises give color to all the hopes of home. 



304 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



When the dark cloud of tribulation overhangs 
the parent's heart; when the overwhelming storm 
of misfortune rages around his habitation, up- 
rooting his hopes and demolishing his interests ; 
when the ruthless hand of death tears from his 
embrace the wife of his bosom and the children 
of his love ; — even in hours of bereavement like 
these, the promises of God dispel the gloom, and 
surround his home and his heart with the sun- 
shine of peace and joy. 

His promises extend to both the parents and 
their offspring. "Unto you, and unto your chil- 
dren," "I will pour my spirit on thy seed, and my 
blessing on thine offspring ; and they shall spring 
up as among the grass, as willows by the water- 
courses. One shall say, I am the Lord's; and 
another shall call himself by the name of Jacob ; 
and another shall subscribe with his hand unto 
the Lord, and surname himself by the name of 
Israel." His promises extend to children's chil- 
dren ; and whatever they may be for the parent, 
they are "visited upon the children unto the third 
and fourth generation." 

Now these divine promises are of two kinds, — 
the promise of punishment, and the promise of 
reward. He promises to punish the unfaithful 
parent, and to reward the faithful parent. He 
also promises to visit both the evil and the good 
of the parents upon their children. Such is the 
constitution of the family, and such are the vital 
relations which the members sustain to each other, 
that by the law of natural and moral reproduc- 



ITS PROMISES. 



305 



tion, the child is either blessed or cursed in the 
parent. What the parent does will run out in its 
legitimate consequences to the child, either as a 
malediction or as a benediction. 

"We have divine promises to punish the unfaith- 
ful members of the Christian home. If the par- 
ent becomes guilty of iniquity, it will be visited 
upon the children from generation to generation. 
There is no consideration which should more ef- 
fectually restrain parents from unfaithfulness than 
this. Let them become selfish, sensual, indolent, 
and dissipated, and soon these elements of iniquity 
will be transmitted to their offspring. What the 
parent sows, the child will reap. If the former 
sow to the flesh, the latter shall of the flesh reap 
corruption. Thus, whatsoever the parent sows 
in the child he shall reap from the child. The 
promised curse of the parent's wickedness is de- 
posited in the child so far as that wickedness af- 
fected the child's character. This is all based up- 
on the great principle that the promises are unto 
you, and to your children. 

But while this great principle is ominous of ter- 
ror to the ungodly, it is a pleasing theme to the 
pious and faithful. Home is a stewardship ; and 
if faithful to its high and holy vocation, it has a 
good reward for its labor of love. "If ye sow to 
the spirit ye shall of the spirit reap life everlast- 
ing." This promise of reward is "to you and to 
your children." "Many souls shall be given for 
its hire." Their children shall reap the reward of 
the faithfulness of the parents.- Of them it shall 



306 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



be said, "this is the seed which the Lord hath 
blessed." Faithful parents have thus a glorious 
recompense of reward. God shall reward thee 
openly. Make your household a true nursery for 
the soul ; and He will give thee thy wages. The 
blessing of the Most High will descend like dew 
upon you and your children. And when they 
grow up to manhood, He will make them His 
agents in rewarding you. They will honor and 
comfort you in your declining years. They will 
not depart from the ways of the Lord in which 
you trained them. Though they may be in a dis- 
tant land, — far from you and the cherished home 
of their childhood, yet they will obey your admo- 
nitions, gratefully remember your kindness ; and 
their grateful obedience and remembrance will be 
your great reward from them. They will rise up 
and call you blessed. 

" Though we dwell apart, 
Thy loving words are with me evermore, — 
Thy precious loving words. Thy hand, and heart, 
And earnest soul of love, are here impressed, 
For me, a dear memorial through all time. 
Mother ! I cannot recompense thy love, 
But thy reward is sure, for thou hast done 
Thy duty perfectly, and we rise up 
And call thee blessed ; and the Lord shall give 
Thy pious cares and labors rich reward."' 

And when you descend to the grave and are 
gathered to your fathers, the assurance of fidelity 
to your home-trust, the prospect of meeting your 
children in heaven, and all the brilliant hopes that 



ITS PROMISES. 



307 



loom up before you, full of the light and glory of 
the eternal world, will furnish you a great recom- 
pense of reward. 

Parents can rely upon these promises of God 
with the full assurance of faith ; for His promises 
are yea and amen. Let them hut lay hold upon 
the promises, and act upon the conditions of 
their fulfillment, and then leave the rest to God. 
Abraham and Joshua, and David, acted upon this 
principle in their families. Let the members of 
the Christian home do the same, and the blessing 
of God will rest upon them. 

God promises to reward parents in this life. 
We find their fulfillment in the peace, the hopes, 
the interests, and the pleasures of the faithful 
household. The members are happy in each oth- 
er's love, in each other's virtue, in each other's 
worth, in each other's hopes, in each other's in- 
terests, in each other's confidence, in each other's 
piety, in each other's fidelity, in each other's hap- 
piness. Thus God shall reward thee openly. He 
has never said to-the seed of Jacob seek ye me in 
vain. "Verily there is a reward for the right- 
eous." "This is the seed which the Lord hath 
blessed." 

The promised reward of faithful parents may 
be seen in their children.* They are in the true 
Christian home a precious heritage from the 
Lord. Thus a parent's faithfulness was rewarded 
in the piety of Baxter, and Doddridge, and Watts. 
"What a rich reward did Elkanah and Hannah re- 
ceive by their training up Samuel! And were 



303 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



not Lois and Eunice rewarded for their faithful- 
ness to young Timothy ? "What a glorious reward 
the mother of John Q. Adams received from 
God, in that great and good man ! God blessed 
her fidelity, by making him worthy of such a 
mother. He himself was conscious that he was 
his mother's reward, as may be seen from the fol- 
lowing anecdote of him. Governor Briggs of 
Massachusetts, after reading with great interest 
the letters of John Q. Adam's mother, one day 
went over to his seat in Congress, and said to him : 

" Mr. Adams, I have found out who made you ! " 

" What do you mean ? " said he. 

" I have been reading the letters of your moth- 
er," was the .reply. 

"With a flashing eye and glowing face, he started, 
and in his peculiar manner, said : " Yes, Briggs, 
all that is good in me, I owe to my mother ! " 

But God promises to reward faithful parents 
in the life to come. Their great reward is in 
heaven. The departure of every pious mem- 
ber of their home but increases the heavenly re- 
ward. The little child that dies in its mother's 
arms, and is borne up to the God who gave it, 
but increases by its sainted presence there, her 
joyful anticipations of the eternal reward. 

" And when, by father's lonely bed, 

You place me in the ground, 
And his green turf, with daisies spread, 

Has also wrapt me round; 
Rejoice to think, to you 'tis given, 
To have a ransomed child in heaven ! " 



ITS PROMISES. 309 

And oh, how glorious will be this reward when 
all the members shall meet again in heaven, rec- 
ognize each other there; and unite their harps and 
voices in ascriptions of praise to God. There in 
that better home, where no separations take place, 
no trials are endured, no sorrows felt, no tears 
shed, they shall enjoy the complete fulfillment of 
divine promises. Heaven, with its unfading treas- 
ures, with its golden streets, with its crowns of 
glory, with its unspeakable joys, with its river of 
life, and with its anthems of praise, will be their 
great recompense of the reward. How the an- 
ticipation of this should stimulate Christian par- 
ents to increased fidelity ; oh, what a happy meet- 
ing will that be, when husband and wife, parent 
and child, brother and sister, after many long 
years of separation, shall greet each other in that 
glorious world, and feel that parting grief shall 
weep no more ! 

" Oh ! when a mother meets on high, 

The child she lost in infancy ; 
Hath she not then for pains and fears, 

The day of woe, the watchful night, 
For all her sorrows, all her tears, 

An over-payment of delight? " 

With these gracious promises of reward sound- 
ing in their ears, Christian parents should never 
despair ; neither should they doubt for a moment 
the fidelity of G-od to all his promises. It is true 
that His promises are conditional, and their ful- 
fillment depends upon the parent's performance 



310 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



of his part as the condition, yet to every duty he 

has attached a promise ; and wherever He has 
made a promise for us, he has given us the ability 
to use the means of securing its fulfillment ; and 
as soon as their conditions are thus met, they he- 
come absolute. " Train up a child in the way he 
should go." Here is the duty. "And when he 
grows old he will not depart from it." Here is 
the promise. The condition is, that you discharge 
the duty. If you do so, the promise becomes ab- 
solute, and shall with certainty be divinely ful- 
filled in your child, though the time and manner 
of this fulfillment may not meet your expectations. 

But some may object to this position, and re- 
mind us that pious parents are known to have 
ungodly children who died in their sins. They 
may refer us to the case of Absalom, and to the 
sons of Eli. In reply we would state that this 
is begging the question. It is here taken for 
granted that these pious parents did fulfill the 
conditions attached to the above promises. This 
is a mere assumption ; for Absalom was not prop- 
erly trained; and both he and the sons of Levi, 
were ruined by the misguided fondness and ex- 
treme indulgence of their parents. And thus also 
does the foolish partiality of many pious parents 
prevent their fidelity to their children. We must 
not think that all pious parents are faithful to 
their duty to their children. The above objection, 
however, assumes this ground; and, therefore, 
it is not valid. It is often said that the children 
of ministers and pious parents are usually more 



ITS PKOMISES. 



311 



wicked than other children. This is false. The 
opposite is true. We admit, some have had chil- 
dren ; hut it is the fault of the parents ; not he- 
cause God does not fulfill His covenant promises 
to His people. His people, in these instances, do 
not meet the conditions upon which His promises 
are made absolute. 

"We must not suppose that because a divine 
promise exists detached from expressed condi- 
tions, it will he fulfilled without the use of means. 
There is a manifest compatibility between the ab- 
solute promises of God and the use of the means 
in our power for their fulfillment. The promise 
to Paul in the ship in which he was conveyed to 
Eome, that none of the passengers should perish, 
was not incompatible with Paul's declaration, 
" except these persons abide in the ship, ye can- 
not be saved." Neither were the efforts of the 
mother of Moses to save him, incompatible with 
the absolute promise of God that "this babe shall 
be saved, and be the deliverer of Israel." What 
she did to preserve his life was accompanied with 
an active, confiding faith in the divine promise 
concerning him. And thus should faith in God's 
promises stimulate Christian parents to zealous 
activity in the use of all those means which se- 
cure their fulfillment. 

The Christian home should ever keep in lively 
remembrance the solemn promises made by her 
to God. In marriage, in holy baptism, she has 
made vows unto God, and he says to her, pay 
thy vows. " When thou shalt vow a vow unto 



312 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it; 
for the Lord thy God will surely require it of 
thee." These parental promises made to God re- 
gard themselves and their children ; and their 
faithful fulfillment brings them within the glori- 
ous promise which God gave to Abraham; for, 
says Paul, "If ye be Christ's, then are ye Abra- 
ham's seed, and heirs according to the promise:" 
Gal. iii., 29. 

Christian parents : the promises of God shine 
forth as brilliantly now as ever they did upon the 
pages of sacred history. They are as bright for 
you as they were for Abraham and J oshua, when 
they trembled in sublime eloquence upon the lips 
of God. Let them, therefore, be not in vain. 
The promises are unto you, and to your chil- 
dren. And you in turn have promised God that 
you would bless your household, and be faithful 
to your children. Hold fast to these promises 
without wavering. Hang all your hopes upon 
them. Cling to them with the wrestling spirit of 
Jacob. And remember that you cannot shako 
off your vows and promises made to God. He 
will surely require it of thee. . Therefore pay 
thy vows unto the Lord. God will reward you 
for so doing. "The mountains shall depart, and 
the hills be removed ; but my kindness shall not 
depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of 
my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath 
mercy on thee: " Isaiah liv., 10. 



CHAPTER XXYI. 



THE BEREAVEMENTS OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME.* 

" Oh, long ago 
Those blessed days departed, we are reft, 
And scattered like the leaves of some fair rose, • 
That fall off one by one upon the breeze, 
Which bears them where it listeth. Never more 
Can they be gathered and become a rose. 
And we can be united never more 
A family on earth !" 

Bereavement involves the providential disci- 
pline of home. In almost every household there 
have been sorrows and tears as well as joys and 
hopes. As the Christian home is the depository 
of the highest interests and the purest pleasures, 
so it is the scene of sad bereavements and of the 
darkest trials. It may become as desolate as the 



* In this chapter we have made free use of poetical quota- 
tions for the benefit of the afflicted. 

14 . . 



314 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



home of Job. The Christian may, like the aged 
tree, be stripped of his clusters, his branches, all 
his summer glory, and sink down into a lonely 
and dreary existence. His home, which once 
rang with glad voices, may become silent and 
sad and hopeless. Those hearts which once 
beat with life and love, may become still and 
cold; and all the earthly interests which clus- 
tered around his fireside may pass away like the 
dream of an hour ! 

The members of home must separate. Theirs 
is but a probationary state. Their household is 
but a tent, — a tabernacle in the flesh, and all that 
it contains will pass away. The fondest ties will 
be broken ; the brightest hopes will fade ; all its 
joys are transient; its interests meteoric, and the 
fireside of cheerfulness will ere long become the 
scene of despondency. Every swing of the pen- 
dulum of the clock tells that the time' of its pro- 
bation is becoming shorter and shorter, and that 
its members are approaching nearer and nearer 
the period of their separation. 

" There is no union here of hearts, 
That finds not here an end." 

Alas! how soon this takes place! The joy of 
home would be perfect did not the thought of a 
speedy separation intrude. No sooner than the 
voice of childhood is changed, than separation 
begins to take place. Some separate for another 
world ; some are borne by the winds and waves 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



315 



to distant lands ; others enter the deep forests of 
the West, and are heard of no more ; — 

"Alas ! the brother knows not now where fall the sister's tears ! 
One haply revels at the feast, while one may droop alone ; 
For broken is the household chain, — the bright fire quenched 
and gone !" 

"What melancholy feelings are awakened within 
at the sight of a deserted home, in which loved 
ones once met and lived and loved; but from 
which they have now wandered, each in the path 
pointed out by the guiding hand of Providence. 
How beautifully does Mrs. Hemans portray this 
separation in the following admirable lines ! — 

" They grew in beauty side by side, 
They filled one home with glee ; 
Their graves are severed, far and wide, 
By mount, and stream, and sea. 

The same fond mother bent at night 

O'er each fair sleeping brow; 
She had each folded flower in sight — 

Where are those dreamers now ? 

One midst the forests of the West 

By a dark stream is laid ; 
The Indian knows his place of rest 

Far in the cedar shade. 

The sea, the blue lone sea, hath one, 

He lies where pearls lie deep ; 
He was the loved of all, yet none 

O'er his low bed may weep. 



316 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



One sleeps where southern vines are dress'd, 

Above the noble slain ; 
He wrapped his colors round his breast, 

On a blood-red field of Spain. 

And one — o'er her the myrtle showers, 

Its leaves by soft winds fanned ; 
She faded midst Italian flowers — 

The last of that fair band. 

And parted thus, they rest, who played 

Beneath the same green tree ; 
Whose voices mingled as they prayed 

Around one parent knee !" 

It is thus in almost every household. The mem- 
bers may be divided into two classes, — the pres- 
ent and the absent ones. "Who may not say of 
his family — 

" We are not all here ! 
Some are away — the dead ones dear, 
Who thronged with us this ancient hearth, 
And gave the hour of guiltless mirth. 
Fate, with a stern, relentless hand, 
Looked in and thinned our little band. 
Some like a night-flash passed away, 
And some sank lingering day by day, 
The quiet graveyard — some lie there, — 
We're not all here !" 

The bereavements of home are diversified. The 
reverses of fortune constitute an important class 
of family afflictions, causing the habits, customs, 
social privileges and advantages of home to be 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



317 



broken up and changed. Many a family, which, 
in former days, enjoyed all the pleasures and priv- 
ileges of wealth and social distinction, have now 
to struggle with cruel poverty, and receive from 
the world, scorn and ridicule and dishonor. 

But the greatest bereavement of home is, gen- 
erally, death. They only, who have lived in the 
house of mourning, know what the sad bereave- 
ments are which death produces, and what deep 
and dark vacancies this last enemy leaves in the 
stricken heart of home. 

"The lips that used to bless you there, 
Are silent with the dead." 

To-day we may visit the family. "What a lovely 
scene it presents ! The members are happy in 
each other's love, and each one resting his hopes 
upon all the rest. No cares perplex them; no 
sorrows corrode them; no trials distress them; 
no darkness overshadows them ! What tender 
bonds unite them; what hopes cluster around 
each heart; what a depth of reciprocated affec- 
tion we find in each bosom ; and by what tender 
sympathy they are drawn to each other ! 

But alas ! in an hour of supposed security, that 
loving group is broken' up by the intrusion of 
death, arid some one or more carried from the 
bosom of love to the cold and cheerless grave. 
The curfew-bell speaks the solemn truth, and 
warns the members that " in the midst of life 
they are in death." Where is the home that 
has not some memorial of departed ones, — a 



318 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



chair empty, a vacant seat at trie table,— gar- 
ments laid by, — ashes of the dead treasured up 
in the urn of memory ! What sudden ravages 
does this ruthless foe of life, often make in the 
family ! The members are often taken away, one 
by one in quick succession, until all of them are 
laid side by side beneath the green sod. 

What a memorable epoch in the history of 
home is that, in which death finds his first en- 
trance within its sacred enclosures, and with ruth- 
less hand breaks the first link of a golden chain 
that creates its identity ! We can never forget 
that event. It may be the first-born in the ra- 
diant beauty of youth, or the babe in the first 
bursting of life's budding loveliness, or a father 
in the midst of his anxious cares, or the moth- 
er who gave light and happiness to all around 
her. Whoever it is, the first death makes a 
breach there which no subsequent bereavement 
can equal; new feelings are then awakened; a 
new order of associations is then commenced; 
hopes and fears are then aroused that never sub- 
side; and the mysterious web of family life re- 
ceives the hue of a new and darker thread. 

What a sad bereavement is the death of the 
husband and father ! Children ! there is the 
grave of your father ! You have recently heard 
the clods of the valley groan upon his coffin. 
The parent stem from which you grew and to 
which you fondly clung, has been shattered by 
the lightning-stroke of death, and its terrible 
shock is now felt in every fiber of the wrenched 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



319 



and torn branches. Yours is now a widowed 
and an orphaned home. The disconsolate mem- 
bers are left helpless and hopeless in the world ; 
the widowed mother sits by the dying embers of 
her lonely cottage, overwhelmed with grief, and 
poor in everything but her children and her God. 
These orphans are turned out upon the cold char- 
ities of an unfriendly world, neglected and forlorn, 
having no one to care for them but a poor, broken- 
hearted mother, whose deathless faith points them 
to the bright spirit- world to which their sainted 
father has gone, where parting grief shall weep 
no more. 

But a greater bereavement even than this, is, 
the death of a wife and mother. Ah ! here is a 
bereavement which the child alone can fully feel. 
When the mother is laid upon the cold bier, and 
sleeps among the dead, the center of home-love 
and attraction is gone. "What children are more 
desolate and more to be pitied than the motherless 
ones ? She, who fed them from her gentle breast 
and sung sweet lullaby to soothe them into sleep, 
— she, who taught them to kneel in prayer at her 
side, and ministered to all their little wants, and 
sympathized with them in all their little troubles, 
— she has now been torn from them, leaving them 
a smitten flock indeed, and the light of her smile 
will never again be round their beds and paths. 
As the shades of night close in upon that smitten 
home, and the chime of the bell tells the hour in 
which the mother used to gather them around her 
for prayer, and sing them to their rosy rest, with 



820 THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 

what a stricken heart does the bereaved husband 
seek to perform this office of love in her stead ; 
and as he gathers them for the first time around 
him, how fully does he feel that none can take a 
mother's place ! 

" My sheltering arms can clasp you all, 

My poor deserted throng ; 
Cling as you used to cling to her 

Who sings the angel's song. 
Begin, sweet ones, the accustomed strain, 

Come, warble loud and clear ; 
Alas, alas ! you're weeping all,, 

You're sobbing in my ear ; 
Good night ; go, say the prayer she taught, 

Beside your little bed. 

The lips that used to bless you there, 

Are silent with the dead. 
A father's hand your course may guide 

Amid the storms of life, 
His care protect those shrinking plants 

That dread the storm of strife ; 
But who, upon your infant hearts, 

Shall like that mother write ? 
Who touch the strings that rule the soul ?• 

Dear smitten flock, good night !" 

"Who can forget a mother, or lose those impres- 
sions which her death made upon our deeply 
stricken hearts? None, — not even the wretch 
who has brutalized all the feelings of natural 
affection. The memory of a mother's death is 
as fadeless as the deep impress of a mother's 
love upon our hearts. As often as we resort 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



321 



to lier grave we mnst leave behind the tribute 
of our tears. Who can read the following beau- 
tiful lines of Cowper, and — if the memory of a 
sainted mother is awakened by them, — not weep ? 

" My mother ! When I learned that thou wast dead, 
Say, wast thou conscious of the tears I shed ? 
Hovered thy spirit o'er thy sorrowing son, 
Wretch even then, life's journey just begun ! 
Perhaps thou gav'st me, though unfelt, a kiss*; 
Perhaps a tear, if souls can weep in bliss — 
Ah, that maternal smile ! it answers — yes ! 
I heard the 'bell toll on the burial day, 
I saw the hearse that bore thee slow away, 
And, turning from my nurs'ry window, drew 
A long, long sigh/and wept a last adieu ! 
But was it such ? It was. Where thou art gone. 
Adieus and farewells are a sound unknown. 
May I but meet thee on that peaceful shore, 
The parting word shall pass my lips no more !" 

The death of children is a great bereavement 
of home. Behold that little blossom withered in 
its mother's arms ! See those tears which flood 
her eyes as she bends in her deep grief over the 
grave of her cherished babe ! Go, fond parents, 
to that little mound, and weep ! It is well to 
do so; it is well for thee in the twilight hour 
to steal around that hallowed spot, and pay the 
tribute of memory to your little one, in flood- 
ing tears. There beneath those blooming flow- 
ers which the hand of affection planted, it sweetly 
sleeps. It bids adieu, to all the scenes and cares 
of life. It just began to taste the cup of life, and 
*14 



322 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



turned from its ingredients of commingled joy 
and sorrow, to a more peaceful clime. Cold 
now is that little heart which once beat its 
warm pulses so near to thine; hushed is now 
that sweet voice that once breathed music to 
your soul. Like the folding up of the rose, it 
passed away; that beautiful bud which bloomed 
and cheered your heart, was transplanted ere the 
storm beat upon it : — 

"Death found strange beauty on that polished brow, 
And dashed it out — 

There was a tint of rose 
On cheek and lip. He touched the veins with ice, 
And the rose faded. 

Forth from those blue eyes 
There spake a wishful tenderness, a doubt 
Whether to grieve or sleep, which innocence 
Alone may wear. "With ruthless haste he bound 
The silken fringes of those curtained lids 
Forever. 

There had been a murmuring sound, 
With which the babe would claim its mother's ear, 
Charming her even to tears. The spoiler set 
His seal of silence. 

But there beamed a smile 
So fixed, so holy, from that cherub brow, 
Death gazed — and left it there. 

He dared not steal 

The signet-ring of heaven !" 

The death of such an infant is indeed a sore 
affliction, and causes the bleeding heart of the par- 
ent to cry out, "Whose sorrow is like unto my 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



328 



sorrow!" Unfeeling Death! that thou shouldst 
thus blight the fair flowers and nip the unfolding 
. buds of promise in the Christian home ! 

" Death ! thou dread looser of the dearest tie, 
TVas there no aged and no sick one ni°;h ? 
No languid wretch who long'cl, but long'd in vain, 
For thy cold hand to cool his fiery pain ? 
And was the only victim thou couldst find, 
An infant in its mother's arms reclined?" 

Thus it is that death often turns from the sickly 
to the healthy, from the decrepitude of age to 
the strong man in his prime, from the miserable 
wretch who longs for the grave to the smiling 
babe upon its mother's breast, and there in those 
" azure veins which steal like streams along 1 a 
field of snow," he pours his putrefying breath, 
and leaves within that mother's arms nothing but 
loathsomeness and ruin ! It was thus, bereaved 
parents, that he came within your peaceful home, 
and threw a cruel mockery over all your visions 
of delight, over all the joys and hopes and inter- 
ests of your fireside, personifying their wreck in 
the cold and ghastly corpse of your child. All 
that is now left to you is, the memorials around 
you that once the pride of your heart was there ; — 

" The nursery shows thy pictured wall, 

Thy bat, thy bow, 
Thy cloak and bonnet, club and ball , 

But where art thou ? 
A corner holds thine empty chair, 
Thy playthings idly scattered there, 
But speak to us of our despair !" 



824 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



How sad and lonely especially is the mother 
who is called thus to weep the loss of her de- 
parted infant. Oh, it is hard for her to give up 
that loved one whose smile and childish glee were 
the light and the hope of her heart. As she lays 
it in the cold, damp earth, and returns to her 
house of mourning, and there contemplates its 
empty cradle, and that silent nursery, once glad- 
some with its mirth, she feels the sinking weight 
of her desolation. No light, no luxury, no friend, 
can fill the place of her lost one. 

And especially if this lost one be the first-horn, — 
the first hud of promise and of hope, how doubly 
painful is the bereavement. It makes our home 
as dark and desolate as was the hour when Abra- 
ham with uplifted knife, was about to send death 
to the throbbing heart of his beloved Isaac. Noth- 
ing can supply the place of a first-born child ; and 
home can never be what it was when the sweet 
voice of that first-born child was heard. The 
first green leaf of that household has faded; and 
though leaves may put forth, and other buds of 
promise may unfold, and bright faces may light 
up the home-hearth, and the sunshine of hope 
may play around the heart ; but — 

" They never can replace the bud our early fondness nurst, 
They may be lovely and beloved, but not like thee — the first !" 

Your heart continues lonely and desolate ; its 
strings are broken ; its tenderest fibers wrenched ; 
you continue to steal "beneath the church-yard 
tree, where the grass grows green and wild," and 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



325 



there weep over the grave of your first maternal 
love ; and like Rachael, refuse to be comforted 
because he is not. Your grief is natural, and 
only those who have lost their first-born can 
fully realize it: — 

" Young mother ! what can feeble friendship say, 
To soothe the anguish of this mournful day ? 
They, they alone, whose hearts like thine have bled, 
Know how the living sorrow for the dead ; 
I've felt it all, — alas ! too well I know 
How vain all earthly power to hush thy woe ! 
God cheer thee, childless mother ! 'tis not given 
For man to ward the blow that falls from heaven. 
I've felt it all — as thou art feeling now ; 
Like thee, with stricken heart and aching brow, 
I've sat and watched by dying beauty's bed, 
And burning tears of hopeless anguish shed'; 
I've gazed upon the sweet, but pallid face, 
And vainly tried some comfort there to trace ; 
I've listened to the short and struggling breath ; 
I've seen the cherub eye grow dim in death ; 
Like thee, I've veiled my head in speechless gloom, 
And laid my first-born in the silent tomb !" 

'Now in all these bereavements of the Christian 
home we have developed the wisdom and good- 
ness of God ; and the consideration of this we com- 
mend to the bereaved as a great comfort. They 
are but the execution of God's merciful design 
concerning the family. Pious parents can, there- 
fore, bless the Lord for these afflictions. It is 
often well for both you and your children that be- 



326 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



reavements come. They come often as the minis- 
ters of grace. The tendency of home is to con- 
fine its supreme affections within itself, and not 
yield them unto God. Parents often bestow upon 
their children all their love, and live for them 
alone. Then God lays his rod upon them, takes 
their loved ones to his own arms, to show them 
the folly of using them as abusing them. If home 
had no such bereavements, eternity would be lost 
sight of ; God would not be obeyed ; souls would 
be neglected; natural affection would crush the 
higher incentives and restraints of faith ; earthly 
interests would push from our hearts all spiritual 
concerns ; and our tent-home in this vale of tears 
would be substituted for our heavenly home. We 
see, therefore, the benevolent wisdom of God in 
ordaining bereavements to arrest us from the con- 
trol of unsanctified natural affection. When we 
see the flowers of our household withered and 
strewn around us ; when that which we most 
tenderly loved and clung to, is taken from us in 
an unexpected hour, we begin to see the futility 
of living for earthly interests alone : and we turn 
from the lamented dead to be more faithful to the 
cherished and dependent living. 

Let us, therefore, remember that in all our afflic- 
tions God has some merciful design, the execution 
of which will contribute to the temporal and eter- 
nal welfare of our home. He designs either to 
correct us if we do wrong, or to prevent us from 
doing wrong, or to test our Christian fidelity, or to 
instruct us in the deep mysteries and meandering 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



327 



ways of human life, and keep before us the true 
idea of our homes and lives as a pilgrimage. 
Nothing, save supernatural agencies, so effectu- 
ally removes the moral film from our intellectual 
eye as the hand of bereavement. Death is a great 
teacher. Sources of pensive reflection and spirit- 
ual communion are opened, which none but death 
could unseal. A proper sense of the spirit-world 
is developed; life appears in its naked reality; 
heaven gains new attractions ; eternity becomes a 
holier theme, — a more cheerful object of thought ; 
the true relation of this to the life to come, is 
realized; and the presence of the world of the 
unseen enters more deeply into our moral con- 
sciousness. 

Though our loved ones are gone, they are still 
with us in spirit; yea, they are ours still, in the 
best sense of possession ; our relationship with 
them is not destroyed, but hallowed. Though 
absent, they still live and love ; and they come 
thronging as ministering spirits to our hearts; 
they hover near us, and commune with us. 
Though death may separate us from them, it 
does not disunite us. Your departed children, 
though separated from you in body, are still 
yours, are with you in spirit, and are members 
of your family. They represent your household 
in heaven, and are a promise that you will be 
there also. You are still their parents ; you are 
still one family, — one in spirit, in faith, in hope, 
in promise, in Christ. You still dwell together 
in the fond memories of home, and in the bright 



328 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



anticipation of a coming reunion in heaven. Oh, 
with this view of death, and with this hope of 
joining love's buried ones again, you can gather 
those that yet remain, and talk to them of those 
you put, cold and speechless, in their bed of clay; 
and while their bodies lie exposed to the winter's 
storm or to the summer's heat, you can point the 
living to that cheering promise which spans, as 
with an areole of glory, the graves of buried love ; 
you can tell them they shall meet their departed 
kindred in a better home. Oh, clasp this promise 
to your aching heart ; treasure it up as a pearl of 
great price. Your departed children are not lost 
to you ; and their death to them is great gain. 
They are not lost, but only sent before. " The 
Lord has taken them away." With these views 
of death before you, and with the moral instruc- 
tions they afford, you cannot but feel that your 
children, though absent from you in body, are with 
you in spirit, — are still living with you in your 
household, and are among that spirit-throng which 
ever press around you, to bear you up lest you 
dash your foot against a stone. Such were the 
feelings of the Christian father, as expressed in 
the following touching lines : — 

' ' I cannot make him dead ! 

When passing by his bed, 
So long watched over with parental care, 

My spirit and my eye 

Seek it inquiringly, 
Before the thought comes that — he is not there ! 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



329 



When at the day's calm close, 

Before we seek repose, 
I'm with his mother , offering up our prayer, 

Whate'er I may be saying, 

I am, in spirit, praying 
For our boy's spirit, though — he is not there ! 

Not there ? Where, then, is he ? 

The form I used to see 
Was but the raiment that he used to wear. 

The grave, that now doth press 

Upon that cast-off dress, 
Is but his wardrobe locked ; — he is not there ! 

He lives ! In all the past 

He lives ; nor, to the last, 
Of seeing him again will I despair ; 

In dreams I see him now, 

And on his angel brow, 
I see it written, ' Thou shalt see me there !' 

Yes, we all live to God ! 

Father, thy chastening rod 
So help us, thine afflicted ones, to bear, 

That in the spirit-land, 

Meeting at thy right hand, 
'Twill be our heaven to find that — he is there !" 

From this view of the educational principle 
involved in all our bereavements, we may easily 
infer that God designs to benefit us by them. 
There is an actual usefulness in all the bereave- 
ments of the Christian home. They are but the 
discipline of a Father's hand and the ministration 
of a Father's love. Though His face may wear a 



380 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



dark frown, or be hid behind the tempest-cloud, 
and His rod may be laid heavily upon you, yet 
you are not warranted to believe that no sweet is 
in the bitter cup you drink, that no light shines 
behind the cloud, or that no good dwells in the 
bursting storm around you. The present may 
indeed be dark ; but the future will be bright and 
laden with a Father's blessing. The smile will 
succeed the frown; the balm will follow- the rod. 
The good seed will be sown after the deep fur- 
rows are made. " Eo chastening for the present 
seemeth joyous, but grievous, yet it worketh out a 
far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory to 
them that are exercised thereby." The memory 
that lingers around the grave of our loved ones, 
is sad and tearful. The stricken heart heaves 
with emotions too big for utterance, when we hear 
no more the sound of their accustomed footsteps 
upon the threshold of our door. Oh, the cup of 
bereavement is then bitter, its hour dark, and the 
pall of desolation hangs heavily around our hearts 
and homes. 

But this is only the dark side of bereavement. 
The eye which then weeps may fail at the time 
to behold through its tears, the quickening, soft- 
ening, subduing and resuscitating power which 
dwells in the clouds of darkness and of storm; 
and the heart, wounded and bleeding, too often 
fails to realize the light and glory which loom up 
from the grave. But when we look upon the 
cold, pale face of the dead, in the light of a hope- 
ful resurrection ; when their silent forms move in 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



331 



the light of those saving influences which have 
been exerted upon us, we learn the necessity of 
bereavement ; the mournful cypress will become 
more beautiful than the palm tree, and in view of 
its saving power over us, we can say, " it is good 
for us that we have been afflicted !" 

" The path of sorrow, and that path alone, 
Leads to the land where sorrow is unknown. 
No traveler e'er reached that blest abode, 
Who found not thorns and briers in his road. 
For He who knew what human hearts would prove, 
How slow to learn the dictates of His love ; 
That, hard by nature and of stubborn will, 
A life of ease would make them harder still ; 
Called for a cloud to darken all their years, 
And said, ' Go, spend them in the vale of tears !' " 

"Who will not admit that it is an act of real 
kindness for God to remove little children from 
this world, and at once take them as His own in 
heaven ? This is surely an act of His mercy, and 
for their benefit. It arrests them from the perils 
and tribulations of mature life ; it makes their 
pilgrimage through this vale of tears, of short 
duration; they escape thereby the bitter cup of 
actual sin, and the mental and moral agonies of 
death. It is well with them. How true are the 
following beautiful verses on the death of chil- 
dren, from the pen of John Q. Adams : — 

" Sure, to the mansions. of the blest 
When infant innocence ascends, 
Some angel brighter than the rest 
The spotless spirit's flight attends. 



332 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



On wings of ecstasy they rise, 

Beyond where worlds material roll, 
Till some fair sister of the skies, 

Receives the unpolluted soul. 
There at the Almighty Father's hand, 

Nearest the throne of living light, 
The choirs of infant seraphs stand, 

And dazzling shine, where all are bright !" 

Christ became a little child, that little chil- 
dren might receive the crown of their age and 
be eternally saved. He took them in His arms, 
blessed them, and said, "of such is the kingdom 
of heaven." And we are told that "out of the 
mouths of babes and sucklings He has ordained 
strength." The sweetest hosannas before His 
throne, doubtless proceed from cherub-lips, and 
they glow nearest to the bright vision of the face 
of unveiled glory. 

" Calm on the bosom of thy God, 
Young spirits ! rest thee now ! 
Even while with us thy footsteps trod, 
His seal was on thy brow." 

They stand before the throne in white robes, with 
palms in their hands, and crowns of glory on their 
heads, crying out, " Salvation to our Glod, which 
sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb!" 
Tell me, does not this view dilate the parent's 
heart, and make him thankful that he has a saint- 
ed child in heaven? Weep for those you have 
with you, who live under the shades of a moral 
death, who have entered upon a thorny pilgrim- 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 333 

* 

age, and are exposed to the ravages of sin; oh, 
weep for them ! — 

" But never be a tear-drop given 
To those that rest in yon blue heaven.'' 

The sainted dead of jour home are more blessed 
than the pilgrim living. Weep not, then, that 
they are gone. Their early departure was to them 
great gain. Had they been spared to grow up to 
manhood, you then might have to take up the 
lamentation of David, "Would to God I had 
died for thee !" While they, in the culprit's 
cell, or on the dying couch of the hopeless im- 
penitent, would respond to you in tones of deep- 
ening woe, — 

" Would I had died when young ! 
How many burning tears, 
And wasted hopes and severed ties, 
Had spared my after years !" 

Would you, then, to gratify a parent's heart, awake 
that little slumberer from its peaceful repose, and 
recall its happy spirit from its realms of glory? 
There the light of heaven irradiates it ; its visions 
are unclouded there ; and from those battlements 
of uncreated glory it comes to. thee on errands of 
love and mercy. Would you, now, that this in- 
habitant of heaven should be degraded to earth 
again ? Would you remove him from those rivers 
of delight to this dry and thirsty land ? Would 
not this be cruel ? 



334 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



When, therefore, your babe is taken from yon, 
regard it as a kind deed of yonr heavenly Fa- 
ther, and say, " even so it seemeth good in thy 
sight :" 

1 ' Pour not the voice of woe ! 

Shed not a burning tear 
When spirits from the cold earth go, 

Too bright to linger here ! 
Unsullied let them pass 

Into oblivion's tomb — 
Like snow-flakes melting in the sea 

When ripe with vestal bloom. 
Then strew fresh flowers above the grave, 

And let the tall grass o'er it wave." 

But the death of little children is a great mer- 
cy, not only to themselves, but also to the living. 
Those that remain behind are greatly benefited 
thereby. It exerts a sanctifying, elevating and al- 
luring influence over them. As they pass in their 
bright pathway to heaven, they leave a blessing 
behind. God takes them in goodness to us. The 
interests of the parents are not different from, or 
opposed to, those of their offspring. The happi- 
ness of the latter is that of the former. If, there- 
fore, their death is their blessing, it must be the 
parent's blessing also. "If love," says Baxter, 
"teaches us to mourn with them that mourn, and 
rejoice with them that rejoice, then can we mourn 
for those of our children that are possessed of the 
highest everlasting happiness ?" 

It is true, their sweet faces, unfurrowed by guilt 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



335 



or shame, we shall never more gaze upon ; the 
sound of their happy lullaby we shall never again 
hear. They are gone now to the spirit-land. But 
a parent's care and solicitude are also gone. All 
alarm for their safety is gone ; and you now re- 
joice in the assurance that they have gone to a 
higher and happier home ; and can joyfully ex- 
claim now with*Leigh Richmond, "My child is a 
saint in glory! " His infant powers, so speedily 
paralyzed by the ruthless hand of death, are now 
expanding themselves amidst the untold glories 
of the heavenly world, and are enlisted now in 
ministering to his pilgrim kindred on earth. 

It is true, your children were a source of great 
joy to you here. Insensibly did they entwine 
themselves around your heart, and with all the 
wild ecstasy of maternal love, you embraced 
them, as they attached themselves, like the slen- 
der vine, to you. . They were indeed, the life and 
light of your home, and the deepest joy of your 
heart. But if they had lived, might they not also 
have been a source of the deepest sorrow and 
misery? Might they not have drawn your souls 
from God and heaven, causing you to live alone 
for them, and bringing eventually your gray hairs 
down with sorrow to the grave ? 

But you have watched at their dying couch, 
and seen them die ; and in that death you have 
also seen the departure of all such fears and dan- 
gers. They are now transplanted to a more con- 
genial clime, where they will bloom forever in 
unfading loveliness, and from which they will 



336 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



come on errands of ministering love to your 
household :— 

" They come, on the wings of the morning they come, 
Impatient to lead some poor wanderer home ; 
Some pilgrim to snatch from his stormy abode, 
And lay him to rest in the arms of his Grod ! " 

• 

One of the greatest blessings which the death of 
our pious kindred confers upon their bereaved 
friends is, that they hold a saving communion with 
them, and are ministering spirits sent to minister 
salvation and consolation unto them. 

" The saints on earth, and all the dead, 
But one communion make." 

. They constitute our guardian angels ; they wit- 
ness our Christian race ; they commune with our 
spirits ; they link us to the spirit- world ; they im- 
press us with its deep mysteries ; they stimulate 
our religious life, and bear us up lest we dash our 
feet against the pebble which lies in our pathway 
to the mansions of the blest. The mother who 
bends in the deep anguish of her soul, over the 
little grave in which- her infant slumbers, has in 
heaven a cherub spirit to minister to her. And 
oh, could the veil which wraps the spirit-world 
from our view, be now removed, and we permit- 
ted to catch a glimpse of the heavenly scene there 
displayed, we should doubtless behold on the 
threshold of that better home, an innumerable 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



33T 



host witnessing with intensity of "interest, the 
scenes of human life ; and no doubt to you, be- 
reaved friend, the most conspicuous among that 
celestial throng, would be the sainted form of 
that dear one whose grave you often adorn with 
the warm tribute of memory's gushing tears. 
And oh, could you understand the relation in 
which that sainted one stands to you, you would 
doubtless be conscious that over and about you it 
hovers from day to day as your guardian spirit, 
watching all the details of your life, soothing the 
anguish of your troubled heart, and ministering 
unto you in holy things ! 

"The spirits of the loved and departed 

Are with ns ; and they tell us of the sky, 
A rest for the bereaved and broken-hearted, 

A house not made with hands, a home on high ! 
They have gone from us, and the grave is strong ! 

Yet in night's silent watches they are near ; 
Their voices linger round us, as the song 
Of the sweet skylark lingers on the ear." 

The whole dispensation of grace is like the lad- 
der set up on earth, whose top reached heaven, 
and upon which Jacob saw the angels ascending 
and descending. As the Christian pilgrim in his 
spiritual progression mounts each round of this 
ladder, he rinds himself in the midst of a spirit- 
throng ascending and descending on errands of 
love and mercy to him ; yea, the canopy of the 
sky seems lined with so great a cloud of witnesses 
and ministering spirits ; and among them we be- 
15 



338 



THE CHKISTIAN HOME. 



hold our sainted friends bidding us climb on to 
their lofty abodes ; they beckon us to themselves 
their voices animate us, as they steal down upon 
our spirits in solemn and beautiful cadence. 

"Hark ! heard ye not a sound 
Sweeter than wild-bird's note, or minstrel's lay ! 
I know that music well, for night and day 

I hear it echoing round. 

It is the tuneful chime 
Of spirit-voices ! — 'tis my infant band 
Calling the mourner from this darkened land 

To joy's unclouded clime. 

My beautiful, my blest ! 
I see them there, by the great Spirit's throne ; 
With winning words, and fond beseeching tone, 

They woo me to my rest ! " 

Weeping mother ! that little babe, whose spirit 
has been borne by angels to heaven, where it now 
glows in visions of loveliness around God's throne, 
comes often as a ministering spirit to thee, whis- 
pers peace and hope to thy disconsolate heart, and 
with its tiny hands bears thee up in thy dark and 
troubled path! And my dear bereaved young 
friend ! that mother, who nursed you on her knee, 
who taught your infant lips to lisp the name of 
Jesus, and amid whose prayers you have grown 
up to maturity, — that sainted mother over whose 
grave you have often wept in bitter anguish, hov- 
ers over you now with all the passionate fondness 
of a mother's love, guides and impresses you, at- 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



339 



tends you in all your walks, takes charge of you 
in all your steps ; soothes you in your sorrows ; 
and when burning with fever on the sick bed, 
fans you with angel wing and breath, and warms 
your chilled nerves with an angel's heart! 

Now when we regard the departed of our 
homes in this light, shall we not admit that the 
death of those who go to heaven is a blessing, 
not only to them, but to those they leave behind ! 
And especially when we remember that they re- 
turn to us in spirit to minister to our wants even 
unto the smallest details of life, that they are our 
guardian angels, are with us wherever we go, to 
warn and deliver us from temptation and danger, 
to urge us in the path of duty, to smooth our pil- 
low when thrown upon beds of languishing, and 
then, when the vital spark has fled, to convey us 
to the paradise of God, — oh, when we remember 
this, we say, shall we not rather bless God that 
He has afflicted us ? Though our hearts may be 
lonely, yet with this view of the departed ones of 
our home, we can feel that we are, nevertheless, 
not alone. 

"I am not quite alone. Around me glide 

Unnumbered beings of the unseen world ; — 
And one dear spirit hovering by my side, 

Hath o'er my form its snow-white wings unfurled, 
It is a token that when death is nigh, 
It then will wait to bear my soul on high ! " 

What afflicted heart will not respond with deep 
and grateful emotion, to the following beautiful 



340 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



address of a bereaved pilgrim to his sainted loved 
ones in heaven : — 

" Gone ! — have ye all then gone, — 

The good, the beautiful, the kind, the dear ? 
Passed to yonr glorious rest so swiftly on, 
And left me weeping here ? 

I gaze on your bright track ; 

I hear your lessening voices as they go ; 
Have ye no sign, no solace to fling back 

To those who toil below ? 

Oh ! from that land of love, 

Look ye not sometimes on this world of wo ? 
Think ye not, dear ones, in brighter bowers above, 

Of those you left below ? 

Surely ye note us here, 

Though not as we appear to mortal view, 
And can we still, with all our stains, be dear 

To spirits pure as you ? 

Is it a fair, fond thought, 

That you may still our friends and guardrans be ; 
And heaven's high ministry by you be wrought 

With objects low ari we ? 

May we not secretly hope, 

That you around our path and bed may dwell ? 
And shall not all our blessings brighter drop 

From hands we loved so well ? 

Shall we not feel you near 

In hours of danger, solitude, and pain, 

Cheering the darkness, drying off the tear, 
And turning loss to gain ? 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS 



341 



Shall not your gentle voice 

Break on temptation's dark and sullen mood, 
Subdue our erring will, o'errule our choice, 

And win from ill to good? 

Oh, yes ! to us, to us, 

A portion of your converse still be given ! 
Struggling affection still would hold us thus, 

Nor yield you all to heaven ! . 

Lead our faint steps to God ; 

Be with us while the desert here we roam ; 
Teach us to tread the path which you have trod, 

To find with you our home ! " 

What a comfort does this view of the pious dead 
afford the pious living. We commend it now to 
you. What consolation to the bereaved parents is 
the assurance that all infants are saved! This 
gives them " beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for 
mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit 
of heaviness." Your infant has gone to heaven; 
for " of such is the kingdom of heaven." Zuinlius 
was perhaps the first who proclaimed salvation for 
all who died in infancy. He based this doctrine, 
so comforting to the afflicted parent, upon the 
atonement of Christ for all; and he believed that 
Christ made provision for infants in this general 
atonement or redemption of human nature. This 
is the general belief now. Calvin declared that 
" God adopts infants and washes them in the blood 
of his son," and that "they are regarded by Christ 
as among His flock." Dr. Junkin says, "It is not 
inconsistent with any doctrine of the bible, that 



342 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the souls- of deceased infants go to heaven.'' New- 
ton says, "I hope you are both well reconciled to 
the death of your child. Indeed, I cannot be sorry 
for the death of infants. How many storms do 
they escape! Nor can I doubt, in my private 
judgment, that they are included in the election 
of grace." This is the opinion, too, of all evan- 
gelical branches of the Christian church. If so, 
you have here a source of great consolation. 

" Though it be hard to bid thy heart divide, 
And lay the gem of all thy love aside — 
Faith tells thee, and it tells thee not in vain, 
That thou shalt meet thy infant yet again." 

"What, oh, what, if you had not the assurance 
of the salvation of all infants? "What if your 
faith would tell you that all children who die be- 
fore they can exercise faith would be lost or anni- 
hilated ! Then indeed you might well refuse to 
be comforted because they are not. But your 
child is not lost, — but only removed to a better 
home : — 

" A treasure but removed, 
A bright bird parted for a clearer day — 
Yours still in heaven ! " 

And yours to meet there ! The hope of a glo- 
rious reunion with departed friends in heaven, 
lifts the afflicted Christian into regions of happi- 
ness never before enjoyed. And as he contem- 
plates their better state, and muses over the trials 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



343 



and sorrows of his pilgrim land, he longs to pass 
over the stream which divides that happy home 
from this. He is grateful to God that heaven has 
thus become doubly attractive by his bereave- 
ment, and that he can look forward with fond an- 
ticipation, to the time when he shall there become 
reunited with those who have gone before. 

" Oil ! I could weep 
"With very gratitude that thou art saved — 
Thy soul forever saved. What though my heart 
Should bleed at every pore — still thou art blessed. 
There is an hour, my precious innocent, 
When we shall meet again ! Oh ! may we meet 
To separate no more. Yes ! I can smile, 
And sing with gratitude, and weep with joy, 
Even while my heart is breaking ! " 

We infer from the whole subject, that we should 
not murmur against God when afflicted, however 
great our bereavements may be. This does not, 
of course, forbid godly sorrow and tears. It is 
not inconsistent to weep ; neither does sorrow 
for the dead, as such, imply a murmuring spirit. 
Christ himself invited to tears when he wept over 
the grave of his friend Lazarus. It is meet that 
we pay our tribute to departed kindred, in falling 
tears. These are not selfish ; neither is the sor- 
row they express, a sin, nor an evidence of filial 
distrust, or of reluctant submission to the will of 
God. The unfeeling stoic may regard it such; 
but he outrages the generous impulses of hu- 
manity. Undefiled religion does not aim to can- 



344 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



eel natural affection. Our piety, if genuine, will 
not make us guilty of crimes against nature, and 
prompt us to bend with apathy over the grave of 
buried love. The mother of Jesus wept her 
pungent woes beneath the Cross; and the Marys 
dropt the tear of sorrowing love and memory at 
the mouth of his sepulchre. And shall we refuse 
the tribute of sorrow to the memory of those 
dear ones who sleep beneath the sod ? To do so 
would but unchristianize the deep grief which 
bereavement awakens, and which true piety sanc- 
tifies ; it would unhumanize the very constitution 
of home itself. To be Christians, must the un- 
numbered memories of life be all without a tear? 
When we walk in the family grave-yard, and 
think of the loved who slumber there ; when we 
open the family bible, and read there the names 
of those who have gone before us, say, shall this 
awaken no slumbering grief, invite no warm, 
gushing tears, and not bear us back to scenes of 
tenderness and love ? 

Ah, no ! The gospel encourages godly sorrow 
over the dead. We are permitted to sorrow, 
only not as those who have no hope, as not being 
cast down, and as not being disquieted within 
us. Such godly sorrow is refreshing, and the. 
tears it sheds are a balm to the wounded spirit. 
They refine our sentiments, and beget longings 
after a better country. The memory of bereaved 
affection is grief. In traversing the past, our 
thoughts glide along a procession of dear events 
arrested by the tomb ; and we become sad and 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS 



3i5 



weep. But this is not inconsistent with a confid- 
ing faith in God, nor with a meek resignation to 
His afflicting providence. Faith was not designed 
to overpower a visible privation. When death 
enters onr home we should feel pungently, though 
we have the faith of an angel, and weep before 
the smile of God. The evidences of faith, and 
the brilliant idealities of hope will hush the voice 
of murmur, and incite us to kiss the rod that is 
laid upon us. 

It is, therefore, a Christian privilege to weep 
over the death of our departed kindred, yea, who 
can stifle the anguish of the heart when the ten- 
der flowers of home sink into the waxen form of 
death? when the flickering flame of infant life 
burns lower and weaker ; when the death-glazed 
eye is closed, and the little bosom heaves no 
more, and that lovely form becomes cold as the 
grave, what parental heart can then remain un- 
moved, and what eye can then forbid a tear? Not 
even the assurance of infant salvation and the 
hope of reunion in heaven, can prevent sorrow 
for the dead. 

" To think his child is blest above, 
To pray their parting grief, 
These, these may soothe, but death alone, 
Can heal a father's grief. " 

But this grief should never amount to dissatis- 
faction with God. Though it is right to weep, it 
i$ wrong to murmur. Many parents murmur- 

*15 



346 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ingly mourn the loss of their children, and in 
wrestling with God to spare them, "betray the 
want of a true submission to His will. It is sin- 
ful to murmur at the decrees of God. "We have 
seen that they are wise, and all designed for our 
good. Methinks if your dying babe could re- 
spond to your murmuring sighs and tears around 
its crib, it would thus reprove you : — 

" Nay, mother, fix not thus on me 
That streaming eye, 
And clasp not thus my freezing hand ; 

For I must die. 
To Him ye gave the opening bud, 
The early bloom ; 
- Then grieve not that the ripened fruit 
He gathers home." 

But we should not only refrain from murmur- 
ing, but meekly submit to the providential afflic- 
tions of our home. We should remember that 
all the adversities of life are from the Lord, and 
that when death invades our household, and 
crushes the fond hopes of our hearts, it is for 
some wise and good purpose. Though we may 
not understand it here, where we look through 
a glass darkly ; but eternity will reveal it. Though 
the dying of a child is like tearing a limb from 
us; but remember God demands it. Surrender 
it to Him, therefore, with Christian resignation. 
He does not demand it without a cause. It may 
offend thee, though it be a right hand or a right 
eye. Let the branch be cut off. At the resur- 



ITS BEREAVEMENTS. 



347 



rection you shall see it again. Give it up wil- 
lingly ; for it is the Lord's will that you should. 
Have the meek submission to exclaim, "Not my 
will, but Thine be done!" Whatever may be 
your pleas to the contrary, they are all selfish ; 
when you come to look at your bereavement, 
with the candid, discerning eye of faith, you can- 
not murmur ; but will bend under the stroke with 
silent tears and with grateful submission. Faith 
in God, the hope of reunion in heaven, and true 
Christian love for the object taken from «us, will 
effectually quell every uprising of complaint in 
our hearts : — 

" My stricken heart to Jesus yields 
Love's deep devotion now, 

Adores and blesses — while it bleeds — 
His hand that strikes the blow. 

Then fare thee well — a little while- 
Life's troubled dream is past ; 

And I shall meet with thee, my child, 
In life — in bliss, at last I " 



CHAPTER XXVII. 



THE MEMORIES OF HOME.* 

" The home of my youth stands in silence and sadness; 

None that tasted its simple enjoyments are there ; 
No longer its walls ring with glee and with gladness ; 

No strain of blithe melody breaks on the ear. 

Why, memory, cling thus to life's jocund morning? 

"Why point to its treasures exhausted too soon ? 
Or tell that the buds of the heart at the dawning, 

Were destined to wither and perish at noon ? 
On the past sadly musing, oh pause not a moment ; 

Could we live o'er again but one bright sunny day, 
'Twere better than ages of present enjoyment, 

In the memory of scenes that have long passed away. 
But time ne'er retraces the footsteps he measures ; 

In fancy alone with the past we can dwell ; 

Then take my last blessing, loved scene of young pleasures ; 

Dear home of my childhood — forever farewell !" 

Chief Justice Gibson. 

The bereavements of home fill up the urn 

of memory with its most hallowed treasures. 

Though these memories of the household have 

* In this, as in the preceding chapter, we have introduced 
poetry, for the same reason. 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



349 



an alloy of sorrow and are the product of its ad- 
versities, yet there is no pleasure so delicate, so 
pure, so painful, so much longed after, as that 
which they afford. They bring to our hearts the 
purest essence of the past, and cause us to live it 
over again. They tome over us like the " breath 
of the sweet south breathing over a bed of vio- 
lets." When we revert to the happy scenes of 
our childhood, we live amid them in spirit again, 
and remembrance swells with many a proof of 
recollected love ; sweet ideals of all that lived 
under the parental roof spring up within us, and 
pass before us in visions of delight ; the home of 
the past becomes the home of the present. The 
things of that home are spiritualized and changed 
into the thoughts of home ; we enjoy them again ; 
and we live our life over again with those we loved 
the most. 

" Why in age 
Do we revert so fondly to the walks 
Of childhood, but that there the soul discerns 
The dear memorial footsteps, unimpaired, 
Of her own native vigor ; thence can hear 
Reverberations, and a choral song 
Commingling with the incense that ascends, 
Undaunted, towards the imperishable heavens, 
From her own lonely altar?" 

The memories of home are both pleasing and 
painful. "When we leave the parental home for 
some distant land, how many pleasing recollec- 
tions sweep over our spirits then. Even when 



350 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



tossed to and fro upon the angry wave, far from 
our native land, 

" There comes a fond memory 
Of home o'er the deep." 

The memory of departed worth is a kind of com- 
pensation for the loss we sustain. The pious moth- 
er's recollection of her sainted husband or child 
becomes the soother of her grief, and casts a pleas- 
ing light along her pathway, and awakens a new 
joy in her widowed heart. Pious memories, when 
they reflect the hope of reunion in heaven, are like 
the radiant sky studded with brilliant stars, each 
shining through the clouds which move along the 
verge of the horizon. They sweep as gently over 
the troubled heart as the summer zephyr over the 
blushing rose, touching all the chords of holy feel- 
ing, making them vibrate sadly sweet, in blended 
tones, too sweet to last. 

" Here a deeper and serener charm 

To all is given, 
And blessed memories of the faithful dead 
O'er wood and vale, and meadow-stream have shed 

The holy hues of heaven." 

How indelibly does memory paint the image of a 
departed child upon the mother's heart ! !No flight 
of years ; no distance from the grave in which he 
slumbers, can erase the image. It will be ever 
fresh, and, with awakening power, mingle with 
her tears and glow in her fondest hopes. Though 
time and distance and vicissitudes may calm her 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



351 



troubled heart, and cause her to settle down into 
tranquility of feeling ; but these can never destroy 
the tenacity and vividness of her memory. Even 
then those objects to which it fondly clings, be- 
come the theme of her holiest and her happiest 
thoughts ; and she retains them with a passionate 
ardor, exceeded only by that with which she clung 
to the living child. Her greatest pleasure is, to 
retire from the busy cares of the world, to some 
solitude where she may sit among flowers that re- 
mind her of the one that withered in her arms, 
and meditate upon him who slumbers beneath the 
clods of the valley. Oh, these are sweet and pre- 
cious moments to her; and the tears which are 
then drawn from the deep well-springs of remi- 
niscence, are sacred to him with whom she in 
spirit there communes. There with rapture she 
remembers 

" All his winning ways, 
His pretty, playful smiles, 
His joy, his ecstasy, 
His tricks, his mimicry, 
And all his little wiles ; 
Oh ! these are recollections 
Hound mothers' hearts that cling — 
That mingle with the tears 
And smiles of after years, 
With oft awakening !" 

Memory links together the loved ones of home, 
though they be widely separated from each other, 
some on* earth, and some in eternity. There is 
a mystic chain which binds them together, and 



352 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



brings them in spirit near to each, othei. and in- 
fuses, as it were, with electric power, a realizing 
sense of each other, while their past life under the 
same roof, "like shadows o'er them sweep." In 
the light of memory their faded forms are vividly 
brought back to view ; they see each other as when 
they rambled over their childhood haunts ; and the 
echo of their playful mirth comes booming back 
in deep reverberations through their souls. In 
this respect the memory of the dead is a pleasure 
so deep and delicate, and withal so H^fceholy, 
yea, so painful, that the heart shrinSs^ran it* 
intensity. This we experience when we ramble 
through the family graveyard, and bring within 
the sweep of recollection our past communion 
with the loved who slumber there. There is a 
mysterious feeling awakened in our hearts, — a 
feeling of peculiar melancholy, which combines 
two opposite emotions, — that of pleasure and that 
of pain. These seem to embrace each other, and 
their union in our hearts affords us a strange enjoy- 
ment. We enjoy the pain ; the agony awakened 
by the remembrance of those who he beneath the 
sod is pleasing to us. It is a bitter cup we love to 
Hink ; we love to keep open the wounds there in- 
flicted. The sadness we then feel we dearly cher- 
ish ; and we linger around these tombs as if bound 
to them by some mystic chord we could not break ; 
we are loth to leave a spot in which are accumula- 
ted the fondest associations of early life. Would 
the mother, if she could, forget the child ttiat slum- 
bers beneath the flower-crowned sod of the family 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



353 



cemetery? ""Where," in the beautiful language 
of Irving, " is the child that would willingly for- 
get the most tender of parents, though to remem- 
ber be but to lament? Who, even in the hour 
of agony, would forget the friend over whom he 
mourns ? Who, even when the tomb is closing 
upon the remains of her he most loved and he 
feels his heart, as it were, crushed in the closing 
of its portals, would accept consolation that was 
to be bought by forgetfulness ? And when the 
overwhelming burst of grief is calmed into the 
gentle "tear of recollection, when the sudden an- 
guish and the convulsive agony over the present 
ruins of all that we most loved, is softened away 
into pensive meditation on all that it was in the 
days of its loveliness, who would root out such a 
sorrow from the heart ? Though it . may some- 
times throw a passing cloud even over the bright 
hour of gayety, yet who would exchange it even 
for the song of pleasure or the burst of revelry ? 
!No ; there is a voice from the tomb sweeter than 
song ; there is a recollection of the dead to which 
we turn even from the charms of the living!" 
How passionately we cling to those memories of 
a sainted mother, which crowd in rapid succession 
upon our minds ! 

" "Weep not for her ! Her memory is the shrine 

Of pleasing thoughts, soft as the scent of flowers, 
Calm as on windless eve the sun's decline, 

Sweet as the song of birds among the bowers." 

What a purifying and restraining influence does 



3M 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



the memory of a pious parent's love, exert upon 
the wayward child ! "When he bends in mournful 
recollection over the grave of a sainted mother, 
how must every heart-string break, and with what 
remorse he reviews his past life of wickedness and 
filial disobedience. The memory of that mother's 
love and kindness to him, haunts him in all his 
revels, and draws him back, as if by magnetic 
force, from scenes of riot and of ruin. Can he 
think of that mother's prayers and teachings and 
tears of solicitude, and not feel deeply, and often 
savingly, his own guilt and ingratitude ? If there 
is a memory of home-life which allures him to 
heaven, it is the recollection of her love and pious 
efforts to save him. 

The child who lives in exile from his country 
and his home, is soothed in the midst of his cares 
and disappointments, by the stirring imagery of 
his far-distant friends and home. And oh, if he 
has been unfaithful to the ministrations of that 
home ; if he has trodden under foot the proffered 
love of his parents, and repulsed all the overtures 
of their pious solicitude, will not the memory of 
their anguish haunt his soul, and plough deep fur- 
rows of remorse in his conscience ? The sense of 
past filial ingratitude, and the recollection of a par- 
ent's injured love and disappointed hope, consti- 
tute one of the most powerful incentives to repent- 
ance and reformation. It was thus with the prod- 
igal son. As soon as he came to himself, he re- 
membered the dear home of his youth, the kind 
love of his father, and his own unworthiness and 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



355 



ingratitude; and this brought him to repentance 
and to the resolution to return to his father, con- 
fess his sin, and seek pardon. How many now, in 
thus looking back upon the home of their child- 
hood, do not remember their abuse of parental 
love and kindness ! 

" Oh ! in our stem manhood, when no ray 
Of earlier sunshine glimmers on our way ; 
When girt with sin and sorrow, and the toil 
Of cares, which tear the bosom that they soil ; 
Oh ! if there be in retrospection's chain 
One link that knits us with young dreams again — 
One thought so sweet we scarcely dare to muse 
On all the hoarded raptures it reviews ; 
Which seems each instant, in its backward range, 
The heart to soften, and its ties to change, 
And every spring untouched for years to move, 
It is — the memory of a mother's love !" 

"We see, therefore, that there are painful, as well 
as pleasant, memories of home. "When the ab- 
sent disobedient child remembers how he abused 
the privileges of the parental home, and brought 
the gray hairs of his parents down with sorrow to 
the grave, and turned that household into a deso- 
lation ; when 

" Pensive memory lingers o'er 
Those scenes to be enjoyed no more, 
Those scenes regretted ever," 

how dark and painful must be the shadows which 
then sweep over his penitent spirit ! " If thou art 
a child, and hast ever added a sorrow to the soul 



356 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



or a furrow to the silvered brow of an affectionate 
parent; if thou art a husband, and hast ever 
caused the fond bosom that ventured its whole 
happiness in thy arms, to doubt one moment of 
thy kindness or thy truth; if thou art a friend, 
and hast ever wronged the spirit that generously 
confided in thee ; if thou art a lover, and hast 
ever given one unmerited pang to that true heart 
that now lies cold and still beneath thy feet ; then 
be sure that every unkind look, every ungracious 
word, every ungentle action, will come throng- 
ing back upon thy memory; then be sure that 
thou wilt lie down sorrowing and penitent on the 
grave !" 

If we would avoid the agony of declining age, 
let us be faithful to our childhood-home. "What 
must be the anguish of that wretch who has 
brought infamy upon it; how painful must be 
every recollection of it, when in the distance of 
years and of space, from its scenes and its loved 
ones, his remembrance hails them with its burning 
tear. 

"I am far from the home that gave me birth, 

A blight is on my name ; 
It only brings to my father's hearth 

The memory of shame ; 
Yet, oh ! do they think of me to-day, 

The loved ones lingering there ; 
Do they think of the outcast far away, 

And breathe for me a prayer '? 
That early home I shall see no more, 

And I wish not there to go, 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



357 



For the happy past may nought restore — 

The future is but woe. 
But. 'twould be a balm to my heavy heart 

Upon its dreary way, 
If I could think I have a part 

In the prayers of home to-day !" 

Every thing within the memory of home will 
question our hearts whether we have been faith- 
ful to her parental ministry. Every cherished 
association; every remembered object, and even 
the old scenes and objects around the homestead, 
will challenge our faithfulness. The trees under 
whose shade we frolicked and of whose fruit we 
ate; the streams that meandered through the 
meadow; the hills and groves over which Ave 
gamboled in the sunny days of childhood; the 
old oaken bucket and the old ancestral walls that 
yet stand as monuments of the past, — these will 
all question your fidelity to the training you re- 
ceived in their midst ; and oh, if they assume, in 
the courts of memory, the attitude of witnesses 
against you ; if nursery recollections speak of for- 
gotten prayers and abandoned habits, what a deep 
and painful sense of guilt and ingratitude will this 
testimony develop in your bosom, and 

" Darken'd and troubled you'll come at last, 
To the home of your boyish glee." 

How precious are the mementoes of home ! 
Memory needs such auxiliaries. That lock of 
silken hair which the mother holds with tearful 
contemplation, and wears as a precious relic, near 



358 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



her heart, what recollections of the "buried one it 
awakens within her ! 

" Thou bringest fond memories of a gentle girl, 
Like passing spirits in a summer night ! 
Oh, precious curl!" 

And that picture of a departed mother which the 
orphan child presses with holy reverence to her 
bosom ! As she gazes upon those familiar fea- 
tures, and reads in them a mother's love and 
kindness, what scenes of home-life rise upon the 
troubled thought, and what echoes of love come 
through the lapse of years from the old home- 
stead, touching all the fires of her soul, and caus- 
ing them to thrill with plaintive sadness and with 
painful joy. What mementoes of a sad, yet pleas- 
ing memory are found in the chamber of bereave- 
ment, where death has done his work ; the empty 
chair ; the garments laid by ; playthings idly scat- 
tered there; — these are pictures upon which the 
eye of memory rests with pensive meditation. 
And our letters from home ! "What sweet recol- 
lections they awaken as we read line after line ; 
and what volumes of love they contain from those 
dear ones who now moulder in the narrow vaults 
of death ! Oh, how miserable must he be who has 
no recollections of home, who is not able to revert 
to the scenes of childhood, and amid whose cher- 
ished memories of life, the image of a mother does 
not glow ! 

Let us lay the foundation of a joyful, grateful 
memory. Let us be faithful to home, that when 



MEMORIES OF HOME. 



359 



we leave it, and when the members of it leave us, 
we may delight in all the memories which loom 
up from the scenes of home-life : 

" Oh, friends regretted, scenes forever dear, 
Remembrance hails yon with her burning tear ! 
Drooping she bends o'er pensive fancy's urn, 
To trace the hours which never can return ; 
Yet with retrospection loves to dwell, 
And soothe the sorrows of her last farewell l" 



CHAP TEE XXVIII. 



THE ANTITYPE OF THE CHKISTIAN HOME. 

"Oh, talk to me of heaven ! I love 
To hear about my home above ; 
For there doth many a loved one dwell 
In light and joy ineffable. 

! tell me how they shine and sing, 
While every harp rings echoing, 
And every glad and tearless eye 
Beams like the bright sun gloriously. 

Tell me of that victorious palm, 

Each hand in glory beareth ; 
Tell me of that celestial calm, 

Each face in glory weareth ! " 

The Christian home on earth is but a type of 
his better home in heaven. The pious members 
feel the force of this. Every thing within their 
earthly homes reminds them of that happy coun- 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



361 



try which lies beyond the Jordan. Besides, they 
behold the impress of change up*n every aspect 
of their home. All that is near and dear to them 
there is passing away. It is but the shadow of 
better things to come. And as the type bears 
some resemblance to that which it typifies, we 
may understand both by considering the relation 
they sustain to each other. We may gain a new 
view of the Christian home by looking at it in 
the light of its typical relation to heaven ; and we 
have a transporting view of our heavenly home 
when we contemplate it as the antitype of our 
home on earth. 

The Christian home on earth is a tent-home, a 
tabernacle adapted to the pilgrim-life of God's 
people, set up in a dreary wilderness, designed to 
subserve the purposes of a few years, as a prepa- 
ration for a better home. The Christian, amid all 
his domestic enjoyments, does not realize that his 
home is his rest, but that it is only a probation- 
ary state, the foretaste and anticipation of the 
rest that remaineth for the people of God. It 
is but the emblem, — the shadow of his eternal 
home; and it is, therefore, unsatisfying; it does 
not meet all the wants of our nature ; there is a 
yearning after a better state; the purest happi- 
ness it affords proceeds from the hopes and long- 
ings it begets, and the interests it is transferring 
to eternity, laying up, as it were, treasures in a 
better home. Our home here, develops our wants, 
inflames our desires, excites our expectations, ed- 
ucates, and points us to the realities of which it 
16 



862 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



is an emblem ; but it does not fully satisfy our 
desires, it only increases tbeir intensity. The 
pilgrim soul of the child of God pines and frets 
amid all 

" Her sylvan scenes, and hill and dale 
And liquid lapse of murmuring streams." 

These afford him no satisfaction ; they only de- 
velop in him the saving sense of earth's insuffi- 
ciency; all the scenes of this wilderness state 
are but those of thorns, and desert heath, and 
barren sands; and he cries out in the midst 
of his happy home, — " This is not your rest!" 
Our tent-home may include every earthly cup, 
and all the riches and honors of the world, yet 
it satisfies not, and the . Christian turns from 
it all to rest and expatiate in a life to come. 
Every home here is baptized with tears and 
scarred with graves. Its poverty is a burden, 
its riches are snares, its friends are taken from 
us ; broken hearts agonized there ; restlessness 
is tossed to and fro there; and disappointment 
reigns in every member there. Hence in our 
wilderness-home we hunger and thirst, and pine 
for something more satisfying. "We turn from 
the shadow to the reality; and realizing the in- 
sufficiency of home as a mere type, we turn 
with anxious hope to that which it typifies — 
our heavenly home. 

Heaven is the antitype of the Christian home. 
There the latter reaches its consummation, and 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



363 



reaps the rich harvest of its great reward. The 
Father ; the Mother of us all ; our Brethren ; our 
inheritance ; our all sufficiency are there. Yea, 
all that is included in the dear name of home, is 
treasured up there, for the child of God. In that 
better land he finds the reality of his home on 
earth ; the latter is hut the prophecy of the for- 
mer : — 

" There is my house and portion fair, 
My treasure and my heart are there, 
And my abiding home." 

That better home is radiant with light and love. 
There you shall not see through a glass darkly, 
but shall behold all things face to face. You 
shall not merely know in part, but even as you 
are known. There you shall realize in all its ful- 
ness what you dimly taste here. "We have a hun- 
ger here which is not fully satisfied till in heaven 
we pluck the fruits of the tree of life. ~We have 
a thirst here which is not fully quenched till in 
heaven we drink of the waters of the river of 
life which flows fast by the throne of God. In 
our tent-home here, we eat and drink, but hunger 
and thirst again ; we are healed, but we sicken 
again ; we live in the light of truth, but darkness 
and clouds intervene; we are comforted by the 
spirit and by friends ; but we sorrow and weep 
again. t 

But in heaven "sighing grief shall weep no 
more;" and we "shall hunger no more, neither 
shall we thirst any more ; and we shall not say I 



364 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



am sick ; and there shall be no night, nor sorrow, 
nor tears, nor sighing, nor death ; for the former 
things are passed away." Love will then be per- 
fect ; there will be no heart-burnings and disap- 
pointments there. There you shall enjoy the 
honey without the sting, and the rose without the 
thorn. "Earth hath no sorrows that heaven can- 
not heal." All care and toil, and tears, and or- 
phanage, and widowhood, shall drop and disap- 
pear at the threshold of heaven. If our tent- 
home stirs up within us imperishable joys, by the 
power of anticipation and foretaste, what joy will 
not that better land afford ? If the promise is so 
cheering, what must the fulfillment be! If the 
pursuit is so inspiring, what must the possession 
be ! If our home on Tabor, where we have but a 
distant view of home-life, affords us so much hap- 
piness, what must our home on the eternal throne 
of God be? There your intercourse with the 
loved ones of earth will not be clogged by pain 
and infirmities. Your society there will be the 
most endearing, and with "a great multitude 
which no man could number, of all nations, and 
kindred, and people, and tongues, standing before 
the throne, clothed with white robes, and palms 
in their hands." You shall there hold fellowship 
with the fathers of a thousand generations, with 
the patriarchs, and prophets, and apostles, and 
martyrs, and reformers, and the "innumerable 
company of angels." "With 'these you shall en- 
gage in the most delightful avocation. There 
will be no indolence there, as we often find in 



ITS ANTITYPE, 



365 



earthly homes; but all will be continually en- 
gaged. "They serve Him day and night in His 
temple." There will be one unbroken worship, 
which will afford you rapturous delight. You 
shall be presented before God's glory, with ex- 
ceeding joy ; for " in His presence is fullness of 
joy, and at His right hand are pleasures for ever- 
more." These joys will be eternal, — forever and 
ever. That better home will never be dissolved, 
cannot be shaken, and your crown of glory there 
is a crown which fadeth not away. 

But this happiness and glory of heaven are not 
only eternal but progressive, — ever increasing. 
There is nothing stationary there with the saints ; 
but their powers will ever expand and their gloiy 
increase, l^ew songs will be ever bursting in new „ 
strains from the celestial choir; new discoveries 
and fresh exclamations of , praise and gratitude 
will be continually made. Here on earth they 
were "by nature the children of wrath even as 
others;" they had their tribulations and often 
murmured at God's dealings with them. But 
there in that heavenly home they will understand 
the reason for all this. The deep mysteries of 
the Christian life are now revealed, and they see 
that a father's chastisements are the work of a 
father's love, and worketh out for them that are 
exercised thereby, an "exceeding and eternal 
weight of glory." They now see that while in 
their tent-home they lived in the center of a 
grand system of natural, providential and spirit- 
ual things, all of which were working in beauti- 



366 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



ful harmony together for "the good of them that 
loved God and were the called according to His 
purpose ; " and with rapturous gratitude they cry 
out, "Marvelous are thy works, Lord God Al- 
mighty,; just and true are all thy ways, O thou 
King of Saints ! " 

Here, too, they will fully realize the wisdom of 
the Christian home and life ; they will now see 
how wise it was for them as a family, to serve the 
Lord. In their earthly home, they "knew whom 
they believed, and were persuaded that he was 
able to keep that which they committed unto 
Him against that clay." They did this in the 
midst of fiery trials. They were unknown. The 
world hated and despised them as she did their 
divine Master. But they persevered unto the 
end ; and now they " shine forth as the sun in the 
kingdom of their Fattier." We shall not there, 
as we do here, eat the bread of care and drink 
the waters of bitterness. Here thunders spend 
their echoes and lightnings gleam in fierce wrath 
around our homes. There such sounds and storms 
never come. 

" No sickness there, 

No weary wasting of the frame away ; 
No fearful shrinking from the midnight air ; 
No dread of summer's "bright and fervid ray, 

No hidden grief, 

No wild and cheerless vision of despair ; 
No vain petition for a swift relief, 

No tearful eye, no broken hearts are there. 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



367 



Care has no home 

. Within that realm of ceaseless praise and song ; 
Its tossing billows break and melt in foam, 
Far from the mansions of the spirit-throng. 

The storm's black wing 

Is never spread athwart celestial skies ; 
Its wailings blend not with the voice of spring, 

As some too tender floweret fades and dies." 

Christ is the great center of heaven's glory and 
attraction. "Whom have I in heaven bnt thee? " 
It would not be heaven if He were absent. Its 
harps would become unstrung, and its voices 
would lose their tune. When eternity dawns up- 
on our disembodied spirits, and the heavenly 
home appears in view, with its golden streets, and 
living temples, and crowns, and thrones, and joys, 
bursting on our sight ; while seraphim and cheru- 
bim, and angels, and the sainted spirits of depart- 
ed friends — our parents and children, and kin- 
dred, bend over its threshold to hail our entrance 
with songs and shouts of everlasting joy, — oh, 
what a glorious heritage will this be! But all 
this will fade into insignificance before the Lamb 
on the throne. He will absorb all interest ; and 
will be all and in all to its unfading treasures. 
Oh, there is much in that celestial home to allure 
us there. Its " fields arrayed in living green, and 
rivers of delight." Its blood-washed throng, its 
crowns and peace, the angelic choir, our friends 
and relations, — perhaps a father and a mother, 



368 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



perhaps a husband or wife, perhaps a brother 
or a sister, or a child,* — a lovely babe ; — ail these 
make heaven dear, and draw us there. They 
beckon us to themselves; they are waiting for 
us now, and on the glowing pinions of love 
thpy come thronging as ministering spirits, to our 
hearts. 

But what are all these attractions of that spirit- 
home, compared with Jesus there as the crowning 
glory of them all! other things are stars and 
streamlets. He is the central sun, — the source 
of all. Take Him away, and all the brightness 
and the glory of that heavenly world would be- 
come shrouded in darkness and desolation. 

There is a living union between the Christian's 
home on earth, and his home in heaven. Christ 
represents our nature and advocates our cause 
there. The saints on earth and the inhabitants 
of heaven " but one communion make." The 
latter minister to the former. " Are they not all 
ministering spirits, sent to minister unto them 
who shall be the heirs of salvation ? " 

" Oh ! a mother's spirit hung 

O'er her last pledge of earthly love, 
And, while attending angel's sung, 
Welcom'd her dear one home above. 

Gentle babe, I come for thee : 

I did come to bear thee home, 
Far from mortal agony ; 

Come, then, gentle infant, come. 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



369 



Yes ; while o'er thy mouldering dust 

Falls the tear of earthly love, 
Thou shalt live amidst the just, 

Brighter life iu heaven above." 

Every thing good in our earthly home has its 
echo in heaven, and sweeps like the breath of GTod 
over the harps of the blessed. When the pious 
mother kneels with her child in prayer to God, 
it sends a thrill of new ecstasy into the bosom of 
the redeemed around His throne. When the 
child gives its heart to Christ, each harp bursts 
forth with a new anthem of joy at the prospect of 
that accession to their happy band. And oh, 
what unspeakable joy must thrill the bosom of a 
sainted mother when the news of her child's con- 
version reaches her there ! — 

. . . . "A new harp is strung, and a new song is given 
To the breezes that float o'er the gardens of heaven." 

And there, too, sainted relations continually 
warn the impenitent members of the tent-home. 
"Though dead they yet speak." "Turn ye, turn 
ye; for why will ye die?" " The spirit and the 
bride say, come!" Oh, regard those solemn ad- 
monitions which come to you from the spirit- 
world! With unearthly eloquence they urge 
you to "lay aside every weight and the sin 
that doth so easily beset you, and run the race 
set before you, looking unto Jesus, the author 
and finisher of your faith." And oh, if you, in 
obedience to these angelic persuasives to piety, 



870 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



yield yourself unto the Lord, all the arches of that 
eternal home will reverberate with the sound of 
jubilee over your salvation, until its echo from 
harp to harp shall be borne up to the throne of 
God. 

And as there is a living union of the Chris- 
tian's home on earth and in heaven, so also will 
there be a conscious union and recognition of the 
members of the Christian home, when they enter 
that better land. When the tent-home is broken 
up, and its members take their place and enter 
upon their joys in the heavenly home, they will 
recognize each other, and exchange congratula- 
tions. The bonds of natural affection which 
bound them together here will bind them also 
there. They will possess the same home-feeling 
and sympathy ; they will love each other as mem- 
bers of the same household ; the parents will know 
and love their children as parents ; and the chil- 
dren will feel towards their parents as children. 
Thus in the clear light of that blessed land we 
shall see and know our kindred, and shall be rec- 
ognized and known by them. All family ties will 
be re-knjt; all home-relationships will be re- 
stored; all the links of affection will be renewed. 
The babe that withered in your arms like a frost- 
stricken flower in winter, will come forth clad in 
redemption robes, to embrace you there; and 
one of your joys will be a conscious reunion with 
him : — 

' ' We shall go home to our Father's house : 
To our Father's house in the skies, 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



371 



Where the hope of our souls shall have no blight, 

Our love no broken ties ; 
We shall roam on the banks of the river of peace, 

And bathe in its blissful tide ; 
And one of the joys of our heaven shall be, 

The little boy that died ! " 

And that sainted mother of yours shall greet you 
there. In your earth-home, you and she were 
-united in faith and love and hope ; and in the 
morning of the resurrection you shall ascend 
together from the family grave-yard, and togeth- 
er bow in grateful adoration before the throne of 
God. 

And oh, what a glorious meeting in heaven 
that will be, when all the members of the Chris- 
tian household shall unitedly surround the mar- 
riage supper of the Lamb ! It will be joyful be- 
yond conception. There they " shall meet at 
Jesus' feet, — shall meet to part no more!" No 
one is absent. Bright faces will meet there ; 
bounding hearts will meet there; and on the 
banks of the river of life they will walk hand 
in hand, as they did unitedly in this vale of 
tears. "There is hereafter to be no separation 
in that family. No one is to lie down on a bed 
of pain. No one to wander away into tempta- 
tion. No one to sink into the arms of death. 
Never in heaven is that family to move along the 
slow procession, clad in the habiliments of woe, 
to consign one of its members to the tomb !"— Rev. 
A. Barnes. 

If heaven is our better home, where the mem- 



372 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



bers of Christian families meet to part no more ; 
if dreams cannot picture a world so fair ; and if 
eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor human heart 
conceived the felicity of its peaceful inhabitants, 
then we should greatly rejoice that our pious kin- 
dred have been taken there, and that we are 
blessed with the hope of reunion with them in 
that heavenly home : — 

. . . "If to Christ, with faith sincere-,, 

Your babe at death was given, 
The kindred tie that bound you here, 
Though rent apart with many a tear, 

Shall be renewed in heaven ! " 

In our tent-home, we should cultivate spiritual 
longings after heaven, and live in the true hope 
and assurance of entering there. The soul of the 
Christian, conscious of the emptiness of all things 
here, rests and expatiates in a life to come. In 
proportion to his preparation for it, and his near- 
ness to it, will be the depth of his aspirations and 
the assurance of his hope. The widowed mother, 
who feels that part of her household is in heaven 
and that soon she will join them there, yearns 
with all the pining of home-sickness, for departure 
to the promised land, which is far better. 

" When shall my labors have an end, 
In joy and peace and thee ! " 

Even these hopes and longings after reunion 
with the departed in heaven, afford her joy, and 



ITS ANTITYPE. 



373 



open in her panting spirit a foretaste of unearthly 
bliss. To her aspiring faith all things look heav- 
enward. The stars of the sky, and the flowers 
of the field smile their blessings upon her ; and 
she welcomes death to break off her chains, to 
draw the bolts and bars, and open the prison doors 
of her house of clay, that her home-sick spirit may 
go up to that happier land where her possessions 
lie :— 

" Let me go ! my heart, is fainting 

'Neath its weight of sin and fears, 
And my wakeful eyes are failing 

With these ever-falling tears ! 
For the morning I am sighing, 

While I earth's long vigils keep ; 
Here the loved are ever dying, 

And the loving live to weep ! 

Let me go ! I fain would follow, 

Where I know their steps have passed— 
Far beyond life's heaving billows, 

Finding home and heaven at last ! 
While my exiled heart is pining 

To behold my Father's face, 
They, in His own brightness shining, 

Beckon me to that blest place ! 

Let me go ! I hear them calling, 

'Ho ! thou weary one, — come home I' 
Words which on mine ears are falling, 

Wheresoe'er my footsteps roam, 
I can catch the far-off murmurs 

Of life's river, sweet and low, 
Calling, from earth's bitter waters, 

Unto me — let me go !" 



374 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



G-entle reader ! seek that better land. Let your 
home be a preparation for, and a pilgrimage to, a 
home in heaven. You are now in the wilderness 
beset on every side by enemies. Go forward ! 
You are now in the deep vale, — in the low re- 
treats of pilgrim life. "Friend, go up higher!" 
"Be thou faithful unto death, and you shall re- 
ceive a crown of life." Be patient in tribulation. 
The storms that swell around your pilgrim home 
will soon subside, and a cloudless sky will burst 
upon you ; the winter gloom and desolation will 
soon pass away; and "sweet fields arrayed in liv- 
ing green and rivers of delight," will spread out 
themselves before your enraptured vision. Re- 
member that " the sufferings of the present time 
are not worthy to be compared with the glory that 
shall be revealed in us." In a few years at most 
the conflict shall end, and sighing grief shall weep 
no more ; the wormwood and the gall will be ex- 
changed for the cup of salvation ; the armor and 
the battle-field will be exchanged for the white 
garment, the crown and the throne. Soon your 
typical homestead shall be exchanged for your an* 
titypical home ; and we shall unite in the home* 
song of everlasting joy, — the song of, "unto Him 
that loved us and washed us in His own blood, to 
Him be praise and glory and dominion forever !" 

Let the hope of soon entering that happy home, 
stimulate you to increased ardor in the cause of 
your Master. Methinks, some who will read these 
pages, have snow-white locks and wrinkled brows 
and faded cheeks ; and these tell you that soon 



CONCLUSION. 



875 



your pilgrim journey will be ended, your tent- 
home dissolved, and your staff laid aside ; and oh, 
if you have made God the strength of your heart 
and your portion forever, you shall welcome death 
with joy ; yea, you will now be anxious to lay aside 
these garments of toil and conflict, and soar away 
to that better country, where the wicked cease from 
troubling, and the weary are at rest. "With holy 
pantings after God you will say, " Come, Lord 
Jesus, come quickly!" 

" Let me go ! my feet are weary, 

In the desert where I roam. 
Let me go ! the way is dreary — 

Let the wanderer go home ! 
I am weary of the darkness 

Of these lonely, failing streams — 
Let me go where founts are flashing 

In the light of heaven's beams ! 

Let me go ! my soul is thirsting 

For those waters, bright, and clear, 
From the fount of glory bursting — 

Ah ! why keep the pilgrim here ? 
Let me go ! 0, who would linger, 

Fainting, fearing, and athirst, 
When before us lies a region 

Where undying pleasures burst ?" 

We have now enumerated some of the elements 
of the Christian home — its constitution, its min- 
istry, its trials, its joys, and its relation to a better 
home in heaven. But we have not exhausted this 



376 



THE CHRISTIAN HOME. 



interesting subject ; we have given but a very gen- 
eral and imperfect sketch. If this our first effort 
will contribute to the salvation of one soul, we 
shall be compensated ; and should our encourage- 
ment justify it, we may continue the effort, in the 
preparation of a work on the historical develop- 
ment of the Christian home. 



FINIS. 



347 7 



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